Seeing a post, someone asked: What's your relationship with your mother?
One of the answers made me very distressed.
Seeing a post, someone asked: What's your relationship with your mother?
One of the answers made me very distressed.
A girl said that her mother was pregnant in senior three. But the whole family didn't want the baby except the mother.
Dad felt that the family conditions were not enough to raise another child, forcing his mother to abort the child.
Later, the helpless mother had to induce labor, and her temper became particularly irritable after induced labor.
It was the third semester of senior high school, and every time a girl came home, she was scolded by her mother.
Mom screamed at the top of her voice and asked her:
"Why can't anyone have a younger brother except you?"
"Do you just want to see how I am doing?"
Scold until the girl hurried into the house with tears in her eyes after dinner.
Influenced by her mother, the girl failed in the exam. I could have gone to 985, but I ended up in an ordinary undergraduate school.
Now, ten years later, she is more or less with the shadow of her mother:
Will be grumpy; Will be angry for no reason; Will do their best to fight against their families. ...
She doesn't even dare to fall in love, and she doesn't want to have children, because she doesn't want her children to live a childhood life again.
I have read a sentence: your relationship with your mother is your relationship with the world.
Indeed, in the shaping stage of life values, mothers have a great influence on their children, far beyond our imagination.
There is a mother and daughter in their home, and their life experiences are bumpy.
Qiu, the mother, broke out that her husband was cheating during pregnancy, divorced angrily and raised the children alone.
Because there is no formal job, she supplements her family by doing odd jobs. No matter what the dirty work is, she will bend down to do it as long as she can earn money.
Even so, in the process of raising her daughter, she never exaggerates the hardships of life to her children. Instead, she took her to discover and enjoy the joy of life.
Other people's children went to the amusement park, and she took the equipment and children to explore the construction waste factory.
Precast board bungee jumping, steel seesaw, high-altitude lifting forklift ... are the source of their happiness.
She also told the children that happiness has nothing to do with money, but with life itself.
The only savings in the family were cheated out. She was depressed for only three minutes, then turned to cheer her daughter up: as long as we are alive, we have a chance to turn over.
Take my daughter to the supermarket to eat samples and carefully plan the next day.
The child has problems at work and almost faces expulsion.
Mom will comfort her: with your education, how bad can it be?
No matter how difficult things are in life, when you come to Qiu, you can always find a solution.
This attitude towards life also influenced her daughter Qiu.
Facing the difficulties of life, her first reaction is to find a way to solve the problem.
When she is knocked down by life, she will choose to cut onions to release her emotions, let herself cry and join the next battle.
In the face of life, they also doubted.
There is a scene that impressed me deeply-
Looking at her mother's hard work, her daughter asked, Mom, do you regret giving birth to me?
Mother replied, "I regret not giving birth to you earlier." Let's get along for a few more years. "
Looking at their laughter, I felt inexplicably moved.
It is a kind of tenacity that grew up in a poor life, and it is the uncompromising release of two people living alone.
As a mother, she can bring the most precious wealth to her children in this environment.
Material abundance can give children confidence in facing an unknown life.
Spiritual enrichment can give children the courage to face difficult life.
A while ago, when I saw Xiao Shede, there was a scene that was very touching.
As a representative of Buddhist mother, Nan Li is not very concerned about her children's academic performance. In her eyes, as long as the child grows up healthily and happily, it is better than anything else.
At that time, the versatile daughter Huanhuan was very happy every day. She can play with her favorite doll and take part in a small host competition. When a family is together, it is always full of laughter.
But these days didn't last long. Nan Li gave up her idea when the parents around her paid close attention to their children's grades.
She couldn't accept that her children would be worse than herself in the future, and she joined the "Chicken Baby" camp.
At that time, there was no smile on her face The only thing she cares about after work every day is whether Huanhuan's homework has been finished and whether Huanhuan's exam results have come out.
Nan Li couldn't help getting angry once he saw his children's academic decline.
She shouted at her mother, I can't accept that my children are inferior to others anymore.
She quarreled with her husband: Huanhuan is so used to you, isn't it a failure enough?
She even asked the teachers in the cram school to conduct repressive education on Huanhuan, and she also cooperated at home, ignoring the little progress made by the children. On the contrary, she found fault with the children everywhere, trying to spur them up a flight of stairs.
And the result?
Originally lively and cheerful children, the smile on their faces disappeared a little, and they began to hate their mothers and even ran away from home.
The enviable family has become a chicken flying and a dog jumping, arguing endlessly about their children's grades.
There is a saying on the Internet that a mother's good mood is the best feng shui for her family.
I didn't believe it at first either.
After listening to many people's discussions, I believed them.
Because whether in the family or in the process of children's education, the mother is usually the most involved party.
Her influence on the family plays a subtle role in shaping children's emotions.
A grumpy and irritable mother is likely to raise a timid, inferior and emotionally unstable child.
Only when the mother is in a mild mood can the child have a high probability of emotional stability.
In the new book Time Can Be a Song, our mother Deng recorded her daughter's growing moment.
But mothers don't educate their children in the traditional way.
When my daughter was still in kindergarten, one day, people from the Institute of Sports Science came to choose children as gymnasts, and Eva Huang was chosen.
For many people, this is a good choice. Children will be taken to the gymnastics team for training and may even win the world championship.
Eva Huang has been active since he was a child, and his body is well coordinated, so he is a good prospect for gymnasts.
That night, the family discussed the problem carefully. In addition to worrying that gymnastics training is extremely difficult, they are more worried that their children's career will be decided.
They don't want to make a decision for their children so early. This decision is related to the fate of children's lives, and they simply gave up.
When she graduated from junior high school, Eva Huang went to Beijing to play with her mother. Unexpectedly, her mother got sick after playing for two days. Diarrhea made her weak and unable to take her children out.
My mother felt a little embarrassed and stayed in a hotel after a hard trip to Beijing.
She thought of the one-day tour she had seen in Beijing before and wanted her children to join the travel agency alone.
Can a child who just graduated from junior high school really do it? What should I do if I encounter difficulties along the way?
After getting a positive answer from the child, the mother decided to let her go out alone, considering all kinds of difficulties.
On the first day of the child's trip alone, Deng waited anxiously in the guest house, fearing that she would encounter unsolvable problems and that her safety would not be guaranteed.
It was not until the evening that her hanging heart was put down when she saw the child coming back happily.
In the next few days, Eva Huang Jr. went to all the planned places by himself, and brought back a souvenir card of "You are not a true man until you reach the Great Wall".
The trip to Beijing ended perfectly.
In the process of growing up in Eva Huang, there are many such experiences.
No matter where to play today or how to apply for the college entrance examination, mothers fully respect their children's choices.
Growing up in such an environment, she took life into her own hands early. She is confident and independent.
So I have the courage to see the world independently and make choices freely.
It is often said that the role of mother is indispensable in every child's growth.
It is the supply for children to start their lives, the harbor for children when they encounter difficulties, and it will lay the foundation for their character in this life.
I hope every mother can handle the relationship with her children and give him a safe and loving environment for growing up.
I also hope that every child in the world can grow into a unique self and travel across the world.
Author | Zhou is beautiful, mountains and rivers are scattered, and human fireworks are as usual.