If a woman wants to get rid of this passive, grass-mud horse marriage mode, she will mercilessly engrave the following formula into her mind:
Independent self+complete self+philosophy of giving = invincible woman
Independent of yourself:
No one can bypass spiritual independence and economic independence. But there can be a second problem. Spiritual independence is the core and economic independence is the symbol. The spiritual core must be stable. Establish your own views on marriage and life. Don't shoot a short video of poisoned chicken soup, which will impact your original unrecognizable value perception.
You have your own material and spiritual sustenance, not relying on a man. You don't need a man to achieve your happiness and material security. Even if you pay a lot in the love house, you can get rid of whether you get positive feedback from men.
I give you care, consideration and care, and of course I'm glad you gave me material or spiritual feedback. However, if you don't give me material or spiritual feedback or even hurt me in turn, I will never be angry or sad. I will move on, stay away from you, and even teach you a lesson. This is the crux of the problem.
Plump yourself:
Even if you love someone very much, you should learn to subtract from him and add to yourself.
If you put all your attention on your man, the more you give, the more feedback you want. If your man doesn't give you corresponding feedback, your love will dry up, and both sides will split, contradict and tear, and finally both sides will be exhausted.
Instead of this, it is better to pin your feelings on different people/things. Don't take him as the center, pull your attention back to life, seize the turning point of the dull period, regain your charm and enhance your psychological advantage; Read books, arrange flowers, play musical instruments, keep fit, cook and travel, and develop your hobbies as much as possible; Go back to your social life, dress up beautifully and go shopping with your little sister; Keep yourself busy, don't have redundant ideas, and think about those useless ones. Become beautiful, sexy and interesting, and make your career more successful. ......
The diversity of life will make your focus not completely locked on men. Only when he finds that you are no longer around him every day, and you have a good life without him, will he have a sense of loss and crisis. And then catch you. When he continues to cling to you, he will make a stunning appearance and the relationship will be fresh and surprising again. Take care of yourself and you will naturally take care of your love and family.
To philosophy:
Two levels. In the material world, "giving" is money.
Rich people are not rich people, rich people are people who give things to others. A miser who is afraid of loss, no matter how much property he owns, is a poor man from a psychological point of view. A person who is willing to give his own things to others is rich, and he feels that he is a person who has the ability to help others. After your economic independence, you can practice the philosophy of "giving" on the material level.
But the most important category given is not the material category, but the special category that people have. What can a person give to others?
We can give others the most precious thing we have, our life. But this doesn't necessarily mean that we have to give our lives for others, but we should give others what is vital in our hearts. Share our happiness, interest, understanding, knowledge, humor and sadness with others-in short, everything that has vitality in us.
By giving, we enrich others and improve our sense of life, and we also improve each other's sense of life. Giving is not to get, but through our giving, something important will inevitably be aroused in each other. For example, the recently popular "emotional value" is a kind of intangible contribution.
Men are like boats and women are like water. Only when the ship sticks to the water can it be smooth sailing. Only when water is attached to the ship can it be calm. This is a good feng shui for a family.
If a man is a tree, then a woman is a vine. If the vine is not long, the tree will get entangled with other vines. If the vines are long and the trees are not long, then the vines will entangle with other trees. These are all natural phenomena, which are equally applicable to the relationship between men and women.