The two sides are at war and the frontline troops are insufficient. John joined the army at the front. He was the last one in line on the first day.
The squad leader handed out the bayonet after counting the names, and when he finally handed it to John, the bayonet was just gone. The monitor picked up a stick, handed it to John and told him, "Remember, new recruits! This is a bayonet. See the enemy and shout:' This is a bayonet, this is a bayonet, I will stab you to death!' Do remember! "
The next day, the monitor handed out rifles, but when they were finally given to John, the guns were gone. The monitor handed John a broom in the corner and told him, "Remember, new recruits! This is a rifle. See the enemy and shout,' This is a rifle, this is a rifle. "I want to shoot you, hit you!" Do remember! "
On the third day, the two armies went to war. Comrades all carry bayonets and rifles. John rushed to the front with a broom and stick. In the battle, an enemy rushed to John. John shouted with a broom. The monitor told him, "This is a rifle. This is a rifle. I'm going to shoot you. I'm going to shoot you!"
The enemy did not respond and ran closer. John threw away his broom, took out his stick and shouted, "This is a bayonet, this is a bayonet, I will stab you to death!" " "Still failed to stop the enemy. John thought to himself, "This is over. He will die on the first day on the battlefield. "
The enemy finally caught up with John and knocked him down, but he still didn't stop running. As he ran, he shouted: "This is a tank car, this is a tank car, I will kill you, kill you!" " "
A buddy in our village often goes to the foot bath city to wash his feet. Because his wife was puzzled, she said to him, Next time you go to wash your feet, take me with you and let me have a look. This buddy coaxed his wife that your skin is so good that you don't need to go to a foot bath shop at all. But the more he refused to go, the more curious his wife became. Finally one day, he took his wife to a foot bath shop. Maybe the waiter who washed their feet didn't expect them to be husband and wife, so the waiter who washed his feet groped back and forth on him. His wife saw that the woman had touched almost all the places except her husband's crotch, so she said angrily to the waitress, Give me a man's foot washing machine. The waiter who washed her husband said, We don't have a man here. Then his wife pointed to the waiter who washed her husband's feet and said, come and wash it for me ... Since then, this buddy has hardly been to a foot bath shop!
Thank you for your enthusiasm! Share it, what a funny joke,
1 talked about the goddess for nearly half a year. I watched him in the video, but he didn't see me. Suddenly one day, the goddess asked, do you want to see me? I said of course I want to see it! Very excited. After watching the video, I am also very proud. This beautiful woman is getting more and more beautiful, and my eyes are still good. Just about to talk to her for a while, the video was turned off, and suddenly I remembered that I forgot to turn off the camera.
Xiaoming just got back from working in other places. Parents can't help asking, have you found a girlfriend? Look at the big playmates we played together. They are married, and the children will run away. You don't have a girlfriend. In order to make parents less worried and tired, the next day I decided to break his playmate's son's leg and make him unable to run.
Once upon a time, there was an old man with bad eyes. He is too far away to see clearly and wants to see a doctor. I met a friend on the road and learned that I was going to see an ophthalmologist. His friend pointed to the sun in the sky. See what's in the sky. The old man replied that it was the sun. How far do you want to see? You can see it from so far away.
There is a pair of good girlfriends chatting. What is your husband's monthly salary? B: Two hundred thousand. A: Much better than my husband. You really found a good husband. A: Nothing except the basic salary. What does your husband do? His salary is so high. A: I'm dreaming.
There is an old man who lives on crutches and doesn't know the way when driving a taxi. Poke the driver's ass with a cane and ask where this is. The driver replied, this is my ass.
1. Last year I went on a business trip and stayed in a hotel. In the middle of the night, the sound of knocking on the wall next door made me insomnia, so I got up and knocked on the door next door: Hey! Master, whether the decoration can be done during the day has affected others. As a result, I slept peacefully until dawn.
I met a buddy the day before yesterday. This is his sixth wife, so I asked him: Brother, seeing you get married has become a career! Guess what he said: alas! I don't want to. This is not following the fashion.
Me: speechless
I think some things look difficult, but they are actually quite easy to do, just like traveling to Mars, as long as you find a reliable spaceship to board, it's as simple as that.
The way my mother educates her children can be said to be invincible. About ten years ago, when I was sixteen or seventeen, I felt very rebellious and had a big temper. I just want to face my parents, teachers and elders. I will do whatever they don't let me do. I remember scolding my mother for the first time: "You crazy bitch." I didn't expect my mother to be so happy after hearing it. Call my dad quickly: "Husband, come and see, our son has finally grown into a rebellious period." He has grown up. Celebrate well and go out to eat today. " As a result, the family went out to eat a delicious meal. The next day, my mother boasted to everyone: "Look, my son is in a rebellious period, isn't it amazing?" I knew at that time that this would only make them more and more proud, and they would not be angry at all. In this way, my rebellious period passed in a few days.
My hometown Aaron used to open a shop to do wholesale trade. Lao Zhang, a feng shui master, has been regarded as a master of nature since he met him. Lao Zhang, a native of Anxi County, Fujian Province, said that he and the famous Chen Fashu were classmates. Chen Fashu's family was poor when he was a child. He often steals firewood up the mountain and is chased by Lao Zhang, the mountain guard! The geomantic omen of Chen Fashu's old house was seen by my father! Hidden dragon crouching tiger. Ten years in Hedong, ten years in Hexi. My Lao Zhang only trained one son to shine in Beijing Xinhua News Agency, and I am still watching Feng Shui. Aaron bought 6.5438+10,000 square meters of land in Huizhou under the leadership of Lao Zhang, and spent 2 million to enclose the land and sell it. Lao Zhang suggested raising dozens of chickens and dogs, which means pecking money to make a fortune! Aaron obeyed, but in recent years, the economic downturn, land prices do not say, but has been falling. Because of the inability to develop the local area, the land was confiscated for more than two years and went bankrupt! Aaron has also become a local joke!
A girl went through a lot of hardships to a famous temple and wanted to ask the master here something very important to her.
But the girl came at a bad time, just at noon, and the host was using Lent. But when the master saw the girl's anxious expression, he immediately indicated that the girl had anything to ask, just ask.
The girl asked, "Excuse me, master, what can I eat to whiten my skin?"
When the master heard this, he put down the fruit he had just bitten and pointed to the fruit he had just put down.
When the girl saw it, she immediately said knowingly, "Does Master mean that eating more fruits can whiten your skin?"
The master who came to his senses said, "I mean, the question you just asked almost choked me to death with this damn fruit, and I almost admitted that I was' cause and effect' here ..."