At this point, are we blaming others or introspection?
Confucius said: bowing to others and lightly blaming others is far from complaining.
It means that a person blames himself very much, but rarely blames others, so he won't make enemies with others.
If you don't complain about something, look for reasons from yourself first. This is the highest accomplishment of a person and the key to a happy family.
Laozi said, "No one is to blame for the trip to the Avenue."
It is great wisdom not to complain about others.
However, in daily life, many people often live in emotional packages, full of resentment and negative energy.
As we all know, a bad gas field will not only affect yourself all the time, but also bring disaster sometimes.
Zhang Fei in Romance of the Three Kingdoms has always been labeled as generous, but he was killed because he spoke quickly.
At that time, Zhang Fei heard that Guan Yu was killed and ordered the army to make white flag armor within three days, and the three armies mourned and beheaded Wu.
The next day, his Fan Jiang and Zhang Da reported to Zhang Fei:
Zhang Fei was very angry when he heard about it. The samurai of fame and fortune tied them to a tree, each with 50 lashes.
Then, Zhang Fei accused two people:
Fan Jiang and Zhang Da both bear criminal responsibility for this and hate each other.
That night, while Zhang Fei was drunk, he was stabbed to death.
Carnegie once said: "Only people who are not smart enough will criticize, accuse and complain about others."
Zhang Fei's tragedy profoundly illustrates this truth.
Criticism is like a pigeon, which always flies home in the end.
When we blame others, sometimes we will make others feel disgusted and even attack us in turn.
Therefore, when getting along with others, try to start from yourself, find out more about your own shortcomings, and don't easily blame others for anything.
Ceng Zi said, "I save myself three times a day."
It means that you have to reflect on yourself many times a day. Are you "unfaithful to others" and can't be trusted to make friends? I can't get used to it. "
A person needs to constantly review himself in thought and correct himself in behavior in order to go further and further.
In Romance of the Three Kingdoms, Ma Su underestimated his enemy and lost the street pavilion, which led to the defeat of Shu soldiers. Zhuge Liang had no choice but to make an empty plan to retreat from the enemy.
Back in the army, Zhuge Liang beheaded Ma Su with tears in order to clarify the military law.
But this is not the final result, and then Zhuge Liang began to look for the reasons for failure from himself.
He deeply reflected that he didn't listen to what Liu Bei said before his death: "Ma Su exaggerates and can't use it more."
Then he wrote a "review" to the late master, asking him to demote himself as prime minister and asking his subordinates to "attack my shortcomings and complain about my shortcomings."
When you encounter something, you should first find the reason from yourself and really know yourself, which is the person who is still stupid.
Zhuge Liang turned his back on himself and always thought for himself, so he was famous for his cleverness and admired by later generations.
Only when people know how to reflect on themselves, find their own shortcomings and change themselves can they become better themselves.
As the old saying goes, "but blame yourself, not others. This is the way to complain."
When husband and wife get along, they always have a tolerant heart. Looking for reasons from themselves, the family will inevitably become happier and happier.
Some time ago, I often talked to my husband about this because my mother-in-law educated her children.
The worst time was on the way back from my mother-in-law's house.
I've been nagging my mother-in-law, and the more I talk, the angrier I get.
My husband, who has been silent, suddenly said that he would get off.
I was so angry that I immediately threw him to the side of the road and drove home by myself.
For a long time, I didn't see my husband come back, but I received a big bunch of flowers and a box of delicious food.
In the evening, I didn't see a series of news from my husband:
After reading it, I cried and understood:
The so-called happy marriage, in the final analysis, is nothing more than understanding and staying together in ordinary life, not scolding.
After all, bad things have happened. Blame, anger and blame can't solve the problem at all, but only make the other person feel more guilty and uncomfortable.
At this time, not blaming is the best affection.