I quote Zheng Banqiao (Zheng Xie), a gifted scholar in the Qing Dynasty: "It is difficult to be confused". He is from Jiangsu, and he was born in poverty. He stood up by himself. Before he became famous, he made a living by selling paintings and teaching. At that time, the salary of teaching was very low, and the teachers we hired at home in the past were also very low, which was not as good as the salary of teachers now. Therefore, the ancients said, "It is better to die early than to be poor, and the family is poor than a gentleman." The family is poor enough to teach.
Zheng Banqiao later became famous and became the county magistrate of Weifang, a famous cultural town. I have read his letters to his family, and they have a deep influence on me. This is education. He told the children at home that it is not necessary to read more books to seek fame, because reading is not necessarily good, learning is not necessarily good, fame is not necessarily good, and being an official is not necessarily good. He is a gifted scholar, and he can do anything with piano, chess, calligraphy and painting, so he said that I had taken the scenery of the Zheng family. Future children can't know everything like me! As long as you behave yourself, learn a skill to make a living, grow up with a mouth to eat and live a stable life, that is happiness. So he wrote four words: "inseparable."
What do you mean it's hard to be confused? It doesn't matter if you are stupid, but you should behave yourself. You must pay attention to the words "hard to be confused" written by him. He said: "It is difficult to be smart and confused, and it is even more difficult to change from smart to confused. Let go and take a step back. Now I feel at ease, but it is not a good thing to have a return in the future. " It is difficult for a person to be born smart. To tell the truth, which parent knows if their children are smart enough? When I look at my children, they are all average and not smart enough compared with me. I told the children not to be like me. I've seen so much at most and done everything. What are the benefits? There is no benefit, only more pain and trouble. The more knowledge, the deeper the trouble; The higher the education, the greater the pain. I just want you to live a stable life.
Yesterday, a grandson called me and I asked, "Who are you?" "I am your grandson!" "Oh, I see. What is it? " "My children want to take an examination of a middle school, and their grades are almost worse. They told me that you can write a letter to grandpa ... "I said," Is your child a man or a woman? " I really don't know. He said it was a man. I said, "You call me grandpa, right? You are my grandson, don't you know? I won't write a letter to my children and ask the head of the local education administrative department for this favor. How can you not know? " "Yes, grandpa! I understand this truth, but I was forced by my wife to call you. " I said, "You tell your wife that any school can produce talents. You see, I have worked hard all my life, and this can't be done. "
My grandson called me again today. "I gave my grandfather a lesson yesterday. Everyone knows that you are right. " I said, "I know you feel bad, but what does it matter if you go to school to reflect?" Look at the heroes in the world, such as Mao Zedong and Chiang Kai-shek. Who graduated from a good school? You said that every university won the first place in all previous dynasties. Who has done anything? Those who do great things, such as American car king and steel king, may not have graduated from college. Why do you value academic qualifications so much? "
Therefore, Zheng Banqiao said that "it is difficult to be smart, but it is also difficult to be confused". It's not easy to be a stupid person, and I'm afraid my children will not be stupid. If they are really stupid, they are really disciplined and honest, and dare not do bad things. Smart people are easy to do bad things, but they are dangerous, so it is difficult to change from smart to confused. Pay attention to the third sentence You are smart, but you have to learn to be confused. This is even harder. Let nature take its course and work hard. These are what Zheng Banqiao called "rare puzzles".
Besides, the descendants of the saints Yao, Shun and Yu in China's history are not good, not bad, but not smart enough, which is now called genetic inheritance in science. I've been a parent, too. Four generations live under one roof. I know that children are not smart enough, and I have taken all four generations of intelligence. Look at this fruit tree. One year it grows a lot of fruits, and then it will rest for a few years. You are all very smart people. Stop putting pressure on your children. This is of great significance. Children are born with physical strength, brain power and good or bad personality, and 30% of them are inherited from their parents, so parents should reflect on their teaching.
I have experienced many things and met many people. When I asked their parents, I didn't say, "What does your father do and what does your mother do?" We used to be polite to our subordinates. "What does your grandfather do? Is your old lady from the countryside? When will you come? I invite your grandfather and the old lady to dinner. " In this way, we can know this person's personality, some of which are inherited by parents and family education. There is a lot of knowledge here, so everyone should pay attention.
So it's not that you don't care about children, but that you don't love children too much and let them develop freely. It's just that modern people care too much. The purpose of education is not to teach him knowledge, but to transform a child's natural inherited character. Therefore, real education is not only based on school, but also based on family education. The most important thing for parents is not to be partial. Children have many personalities, but few advantages are inherited from their parents and many disadvantages. Let's study them carefully and look at ourselves in the mirror with our children. Some children have a particularly bad temper, and some children are very depressed, which are inherited from their parents. Children's mentality is related to their parents. So education begins with tutoring, and the school is just helping. Nowadays, people's concept puts education in schools, which is wrong.
2 1 Preface and Postscript at the Beginning of the Century
Confucius said: Ning my son, if you have a state-owned road, you will know, and if you have no road, you will be stupid. Its knowledge is available, and its stupidity is also.
Ning Wuzi was a famous doctor in the Spring and Autumn Period. His surname was Ning, Mingyu and posthumous title Wu. After two generations of changes, from Wei Wengong to Wei Chenggong, the two dynasties were completely different, but Ning Wuzi was safely a veteran of the two dynasties. If a country has a way, it will know. This state is another name for an ancient country. The country is on the right track politically, and its wisdom, ability and talent are brought into play. Great! But Wei succeeded. Politics, society and everything were chaotic and dangerous. He is still in North Korea, and he also participated in this politics, but when he is "in the middle of nowhere", he acts silly and foolish, as if he doesn't know anything. But historically, he is not stupid. He was trying to save the regime and society at that time, which was invisible to outsiders. On the surface, he looks incompetent and has no achievements, but he has really done something for the country and society. Therefore, Confucius gave him a conclusion: "understandable, but stupid." He said that some people can still do Ning Wuzi's clever performance, but it is difficult to learn the stupid performance in troubled times.
When people have changed in social history, especially when the ancient imperial regime was in turmoil, people who fully demonstrated their political talents in the hands of the former king are easily envied. This is an immutable political rule. Why is this happening? It's a little puzzling, maybe it's a common problem of human psychology. If you can do it, someone will be jealous. Why jealous? It can only be said that it is the innate inferiority of human beings, and it must be strangled with knowledge and morality. This kind of jealousy avoids remembering others when it comes to career or relative interests. Therefore, the way to learn is to understand your own psychology and kill and transform these evil psychology. That is the true benevolence. Therefore, when Confucius talked about Ning Wuzi, his talents were so high that others should envy him. But when the accident happened, he was incompetent, no one attacked him and no one hated him. This kind of accomplishment is beyond others' power. When people are proud, intelligence is easy to show off; "At your fingertips", we can still do this. But in fact, it is very difficult to do it, because it is unpretentious, honest and simple, stupid and incompetent, and it is "stupid".
Here, we think of Zheng Banqiao, a famous person in the Qing Dynasty, who said a few great words: "It's harder to be smart than confused, and it's even harder to change from smart to confused. Let go, take a step back, and feel at ease now, not to get a return later. " Extremely smart people don't deliberately pretend to be confused, but converge to be smart and turn confusion into confusion, which is even more difficult. In the next sentence, I feel very comfortable with people. If something goes wrong, I will take a step back and give all my interests and power to others. I don't want others to repay me afterwards, as long as I feel comfortable at that time. This is another extension of Confucius' saying that Ning Wuzi is "sensible and foolish".