As the saying goes, money makes the mare go.
3, the left eye jumps, the peach blossoms open, the right eye jumps, and * * opens. The so-called spring wind comes up at night, and flowers bloom in spring.
To live happily in this troubled world, you must practice the memory of a fish. My memory of unimportant information is only seven seconds. The past is fleeting, and I can't bear to delete it, leaving only troubles and stumbling.
5. Zhang Wei, be strong. Winning or losing is a common occurrence in military strategists.
6, Phelps special waterproof cottage machine cottage machine, is a cow!
7. No matter how old we are, as long as we believe in youth, we are still young; Being old is not the worst thing, but the most terrible thing. When you are old, you can't really save your youth.
8. "Helping others" and "having fun" are essentially not in conflict.
9. You said she spent ten years digging holes and five years posting?
10, it is inevitable to find you, because people all over the world are looking for you. I don't mind if you want to be quiet for a while. It's normal for you to be upset, which means you're still alive. If you want to cry on my shoulder, it's free. If you want to die, I won't allow it.
1 1. Are you a veterinarian? You seem to be selling shroud.
12, don't get married easily, especially with a woman.
13, I am the big devil! You make me cute! And let me shout eggplant!
14, you are so stupid. Go back eight years, two years later, you will meet me again. Isn't this the last thing you want to happen? At least now the nightmare is over. Who didn't love a few scum when he was young? I mean, it's okay. Love is not time travel. Everyone wants to go back to the beginning, but no one can. Let bygones be bygones. Learn to put down what should be put down.
15. No beautiful and charming girl in the world will tell you I love you because you gave her a hamburger or milk tea, understand? You should take her to do something special to move her.
16, you don't understand, the left eye jumps over the peach blossom, and the right eye jumps over the peach blossom. As the saying goes ... like a strong wind in spring, it blows at night and a hundred flowers bloom in spring!
17. So the word "love" in love is very strong: the upper part is taken from abnormal changes, and the lower part is taken from abnormal state.
Zhan Bo, you are a man. If you are a man, don't fall into such a dead end like a woman. She said she didn't know what she wanted. This is just a superficial phenomenon. If such a thing is sincerely given to her by a man, it is endowed with additional value. For example, affection, then this thing is more precious than another.
19, if your leg is going to be broken tomorrow, are you going to stay at home and cry, or are you going to put on your shirt and run and jump like us?
20. Youth is like the rising sun, and there is no room for a moment's neglect.
2 1, the ultimate indirect chat-up method: The rule is this: We cooperate with each other, and there are many things I can't say when introducing, so I need you at this time. You must beat around the bush and successfully sell me out. On the other hand, me too, three rules: First, try to keep girls away from their friends, only when they are alone. Second, inadvertently reveal that your other half is paying attention to her. Third, subtly enhance your partner's image and taste, and make them feel honored and curious about being noticed.
22. This is Mr. Jonathan Bubu from Defense Against the Dark Arts. I don't allow barrage in my class. Today we are going to learn the magic of Metamorphosis, which is very difficult. I'll just focus on it. Germination mainly depends on talent. I quit. Let's start teaching ourselves.
23. I met my ex-girlfriend when I saw a doctor, met my ex-girlfriend when I was in the exam, met my ex-girlfriend when I was eating, and met my ex-girlfriend when I presided over the funeral. It can be called the four tragedies of life!
24. Lu's "Spring and Autumn Annals" has a cloud: I am the master of my Spring and Autumn Annals, and I love it.
25. I have all the aristocratic qualities except a BMW.
26. When you exchange phone numbers with chicks, you give them a chance to call and cancel the appointment. If you make an appointment with them, but they don't have your phone number, then they must show up.
27. Zhang Wei, the present situation will do you no harm. There is a blank between you and her. As long as you foster strengths and avoid weaknesses, Moran can't see how obscene you are.
28. The train is moving forward. It doesn't matter where you go, what matters is the scenery outside the window.
29. All * * collisions must begin with cultural collisions.
30. Since ancient times, no one has died, and those who die early and late have to die.
3 1, sleep? There is plenty of time to sleep after death! How can I waste such a precious opportunity in bed? Is that still a person? Ceng Xiaoxian, you are a man. What excites you should be the devil's figure, not the devil's stepmother!
32. What was that blow? This is not a disaster. Let me ask you, do you know the difference between a phoenix reborn from the fire and a duck burnt by the fire? Let me show you: meowed, my name is Lu, I am a loser, and I was rejected. This is roast duck; And I, I will be like this: it is love that makes me depressed. I looked at the vastness of the world indifferently. It turns out that I have loved and never stayed. My name is Zhan Bo, a man with a story. Do you see it? It's called the Bathing Fire Phoenix.
Zhang Wei, do you know how dangerous you are now? Women are competitive animals. Everyone wants their ex-boyfriend to linger on themselves. You have infringed on each other's vanity by pretending to be calm. The calmer you are, the more competitive you are. Maybe she will come to you in a few days. By then, everything will be clear.
34, lying in a big coffin, full of tubes, head can turn?
35. There is no rehearsal in our life. It is broadcast live every day.
36, hey hey, like rebellion is generally non-mainstream.
37. On this planet, except for seasonal sales, only the parties can call them all at once. I'm telling you, throwing a party is like crossing a wooden bridge with thousands of troops. The more you tell them the threshold is high, the more they will participate. It's like you shouting in the street: beauty! Beautiful or not, promise to turn around. Who wants to admit that they are not qualified?
His repeated failures show that his concept of love is hemiplegic and someone must help him overcome it.
39. I am simple. I only drink pure water when drinking water, and pure milk when drinking milk.
Even if tomorrow is the end of the world, we will dress appropriately, which is an attitude towards life.
4 1. People will play many roles in their life. If you are not happy, you can throw away the script. But remember, there is a script that really belongs to you. Don't lose it.
42. Zhang Wei, if you have time to learn Feng Shui and occupy a tomb after your death, it will make up for the regret that you couldn't afford a house before your death.
43. I have long said that life is short, and eating, drinking, and enjoying is king.
44. A few words that girls can't understand at the critical moment can effectively enhance your charm.
45. Today is Valentine's Day. You have to understand that no one will sympathize with you because you are lovelorn, but there are thousands of girls in Qian Qian who are infatuated with you because of your melancholy.
46. Now your eyes look like Tony Leung Chiu Wai and your eyebrows smell like Takeshi Kaneshiro. At first glance, the action of holding beer is very similar to that of Wu Zhenyu. Is the face looks like Ceng Zhiwei.
At that time, the sky was still blue and the water was green. There is no bird flu in chickens and ducks, and pork can be safely eaten. At that time, you had to wear clothes to take pictures, and you had to pay back your debts. Mother-in-law married her daughter without planning your home, and the father of the child knows it.
48. Don't say others have brains. The premise of having a brain is that you must have a brain.
49. I think it must have something to do with that girl. Otherwise, why did he borrow the car? Ah, there must be someone in the passenger seat, and then you deliberately tried to act in front of others to make yourself look rebellious!
50. I am afraid of you. I tell you, my major in college is knowledge.
5 1, no wonder I feel very light these two days. I often see a white fox running in the rain. It turned out to be because of that wonderful flower in the western regions!
52. The ready-made theme is in front of us: this is the greatest invention since the invention of the toilet in the 20th century: the ultimate single night. A marriage without a bachelor party before marriage is an incomplete marriage and doomed to be an unhappy marriage.
You told me that the deeper the dream, the weaker the pain. You lied to me. It hurts. It hurts here.
54. The feelings of the Year of the Pig and the Year of the Moon in junior high school have long been a mere formality.
55. That was when I was in high school. One day, I dreamed that I was taking an exam. Then I suddenly realized that something worse had happened. It turns out that I am really taking an exam!
56. Is it not easy to forget unhappy things? We just need to play an exciting game with her, called King of the Party: Flying Chess.
57. There are sixteen similarities between women and birds, both of which are attracted by luminous objects.
58. The club is too old, the hole is too small, the table is too high and the condition is not good.
59. Did you get your head squeezed by the door? You dinosaur that degenerates three times a day!
60. In our men's world, there are still strong people like clouds, coughing and copying.
6 1, we are two ambitious young people who are about to fly their dreams in the streets on New Year's Eve.
62. Do you know what a second gear start is? Today, I learned that for senior people, the low-end link of eating and watching movies can be omitted!
63. Before confession, try to reveal a kind of temperament: melancholy. Men's melancholy is women's most effective weapon of mass destruction. Be subtle and profound, let the other person say Yes, Ido with every expression and every look!
64. I loved a girl, and we were entangled for a long time. Every day, we have to bicker and fight and drink salt soda together. Until one day she suddenly left without leaving a word. On the day of parting, I felt guilty. I know it's a mistake for him to be around me, because I can't give her the happiness she wants. Maybe it was a mistake for her to leave, but he must choose one to tell himself which mistake is more worth making.
65. I'll tell her: Since your birthday has passed, you should focus on how to walk well in the coming year. Gifts will only remind you that you are one year older, and they are all clouds.
66, narcissism plus brain damage, that is self-mutilation!
67. How can people not be stabbed when they are floating in rivers and lakes? My name is Lv Ziqiao, and my life depends on the trumpet!
There are too many women in this world who hate me. Come out and hang out, you have to pay it back sooner or later.
69. People often make another mistake to avoid one. Since many mistakes are inevitable, why let the pain be buried for a lifetime? It's better to face someone than to run around, don't you think?
70. One of the secrets of chasing girls is to do what you like. For example, what if the girl I plan to meet recently happens to be a big fan of Stephanie? It's simple. Learn all Stephanie's songs and sing love songs hand in hand in a romantic environment. She will love my mobile karaoke station.
7 1, the code name is not important, even if it is called a cannon, it is useless. The key is to get into combat.
72. What is failure? Why did it fail? Sunrise in the east, only I am unbeaten!
73. I want to defend the cheating behavior of all the women in the apartment except me!
74. If you want to mix rivers and lakes, you'd better be single.
75. Once upon a time, a robber robbed a group of people and made them queue up to pay money. The first paid 100 yuan, the second paid 200 yuan, and so on, so everyone lined up. The first man proudly said, "Look, I paid less than all of you!" " In the end, everyone rushed to pay the money and even forgot to resist.
76. As the saying goes, there is only one possibility for two hamsters to be kept together for three months: they are both male.
77. The courage to challenge absurdity is the eternal creed of teenagers.
78. Zhang Wei, where are so many gentle and virtuous marriage partners in the world? You are going in the wrong direction. Must falling in love be for marriage? It's certainly not good to always think about eating rice. For a change, you will find that everything will suddenly become clear. Why do you think McDonald's can become the top 500 in the world? Because fast food is more in line with the rhythm of modern life. The same is true of love. Which is more popular, the charming prodigal son or the marriage maniac who drinks milk? Life is to live, to live, and the rest are floating clouds. Live smartly.
79. Now girls are most concerned about the four major deterrents: being more beautiful, being younger and having fuller breasts. Only three? Count it again.
80. All lovelorn girls are regular, and they can't get close unless they cool down naturally. If you dare to stimulate her pain, it will only turn her grief into strength and trigger an incident.
8 1, I am very simple. I only drink pure water when drinking water and pure milk when drinking milk. Since ancient times, no one has died, and whoever dies early will have to die late. There is a cloud in Lu Chunqiu. I am in charge in the Spring and Autumn Period, and I love it. Phelps shanzhai mobile phone, shanzhai machine, very awesome.
82. You are afraid of failure! Every time you talk to a girl, you always think, if I am rejected, it will be a miserable and humiliating thing, and how can you succeed! Ah! Be brave and go! It's like, there is a train in front of you, and the conductor asks you, "Young man, do you want to get on?" You ask, "Where does this bus go? What time does the next stop arrive? Are there any seats left in the car? " The train has already left! We can only wait for the next one! But the next one comes, and you still face the same problem! After a long wait, others have arrived in Siberia, and you are still at the station. Who cares! Get up! The train is moving forward, where to go is not important, the key lies in the scenery outside the window! When you get off the train, you will thank me, because even if there is a plane parked next to you, you will rush up without saying anything!
Ceng Xiaoxian, you are a man. What excites you should be the devil's figure, not the devil's stepmother. We must not waste our youth, especially tonight. Looking at the celestial phenomena at night, I vaguely feel that purple gas is coming from the east, and spring is blowing at first. Long Xiang and Feng Haichao, mainly the left eyelid, have been jumping. There must be an affair tonight. You don't understand, the left eye jumps and the peach blossoms open; Jump in the right eye, * * open. As the saying goes, just like the strong wind in spring, when night comes, a hundred flowers bloom.
84. There is no rehearsal in my life, and every time it is broadcast live.
85. Men should be open-minded. Why did you hang yourself from a tree? Toads with three legs can't be found, but women with two legs have plenty! Confucius said: Life is short, eat, drink and be merry. A hundred years is too long. We are racing against time.
86. The world is so beautiful, but you are so grumpy, which is not good, not good.
Don't be lazy with me, I'm too lazy to compete with you.
88. I have studied the common vocabulary of picking up girls in 280 languages around the world. This sentence is necessary for beginners.
89. "Can I chase you?" This is an irresistible confession. Sounds like crap. Chasing girls or not is a man's freedom, and he doesn't need the approval of the other party at all. But in fact, this is a very penetrating killing trick. She can't say no, you ask her to refuse; But what you ask is nothing at all, then you will never be rejected. If she nods in agreement, it means that she has been cheated by you. Agreeing to let you chase is to accept your kindness in disguise. Explain that the opportunity has come, the city gate has been opened, and all you have to do is gallop!
90. When you fall down with only one drop of blood left, call Brother Zeng three times to come back to life.
9 1, if you have time to learn feng shui and occupy a tomb after your death, it will make up for the regret that you couldn't afford to sell a house before your death.
92. Is there more desire for women or more desire for women in this world? Of course, there are also many women.
93. Before marriage, there were other men who were kind to you. After marriage, you only have me. But after marriage, I must be kind to you so that you won't lose, right?
94. If a man wants a good kidney, he must drink Shenbao. After drinking it, it is faster than Liu Xiang and higher than Yao Ming. One bottle is refreshing, two bottles are not greasy and three bottles are immortal. Oh, yeah. Shen Bao, it's delicious.
95. It won't end well with a woman older than you. Imagine you live with her. You are very happy outside. How do you feel when she calls you home for dinner every day?
96. Love is not time travel. Everyone wants to go back to the beginning, but no one can. Let bygones be bygones, and learn to let go of what should be put down.
97, Phelps cottage waterproof machine, cottage machine, is the cow.
98. When everyone develops to a new stage, he must make a decisive choice. Although it will be awkward at first, you must face it.
99, you muggle, don't talk about magic formula and multiplication formula, what can you do!
100, there is no rehearsal in life, and every day is live broadcast.
10 1. Either do your homework in advance or take a cheat sheet with you.
102, 1 10,000,1100,000 are all the same, because I don't have any!
103, this is just the appearance. I tell you, the source of wisdom and life, you should know how to find stories with your eyes. If you look closely, you will find that the third person definitely refers to Ceng Xiaoxian!
104, Ceng Laoshi, do you know what your problem is? You always say I want to, but you don't do it. You are different from Zhan Bo. Zhanbo is a congenital defect. You think too much the day after tomorrow. Your brain deceived you. You think too much and don't know how to get rid of Laura. You think too much and don't know how to face Yifei. So you left when you shouldn't have left and came back when you shouldn't have. So I suggest that your abnormal pig brain take a rest before giving you the wrong instruction.