In fact, the reason for this reaction is not only that men are hard to accept from dignity, but in daily life, many things that others take for granted have become unusual because of wearing the hat of a door-to-door son-in-law
Recently, I saw a story about rural customs around me. Because the man is the son-in-law of the family, things become very subtle. In the village next to us, an old father died of illness. The old man has two sons. According to the rural custom, the son should dress the elderly in linen. The boss is fine. The problem lies with the second son.
Because the old man's family was poor in his early years, there was only enough for one son to marry his wife. The two brothers drew lots to decide. Finally, according to the lottery results, the eldest son married the wife of the neighboring town. The second son, out of practical helplessness, became a door-to-door son-in-law of other people's families, and the children born with his wife also took the woman's surname.
According to the custom, when an old man dies, his daughter-in-law and the woman's parents will be invited to pay their respects. When everyone was distributing mourning clothes, the second son's parents-in-law suddenly shouted to his son, "How can you give your father a hemp Dai Xiao?"
To tell the truth, this made the second son dumbfounded: "My father is dead and I am his son. Why can't I give it to my father Dai Xiao? "
My parents-in-law said angrily, "Do you pretend you don't understand or want something? Why does the door-to-door son-in-law dress his parents in hemp Dai Xiao? When you enter my home, you are a member of our family and will give us the old couple a pension in the future. "
The second son followed the words of his parents-in-law: "That's no problem. I will also give you two old people Dai Xiao in the future. Is there a contradiction? "
"Pima Dai Xiao can only give one parent. If you give it to your father, you can't give it to us in the future. You can't put it on again. Anyway, you can't give it to your father Pima Dai Xiao, just ordinary mourning. "
The second son was very unhappy: "My father raised me. Although I am a son-in-law, my father has worked hard all his life. He raised me. This is his last thing. If my son can't give him a decent death, am I still human? " Besides, who will pay attention to your old customs in this day and age? I don't believe it. You want me to listen to you, it's impossible and impossible. "
What the second son said to his parents-in-law in front of many relatives and friends was enough to make them angry. The two old people also yelled hysterically at their son-in-law, telling their reasons in front of relatives and friends, especially in front of old people who are similar to themselves.
To tell the truth, this problem is really tricky. When I got married, I only knew how to be a door-to-door son-in-law, and the children should take the woman's surname. I also wanted to support her parents. I didn't expect that I couldn't give it to my parents Dai Xiao, so I persuaded my second son to do it for no reason. Let my second son go to Dai Xiao. According to local customs, there is no such thing, and it is not good to persuade my son not to give it to his father Dai Xiao. Most of the relatives and friends at the scene are sloppy and let both sides take a step back.
With the complexity and refinement of modern marriage, some things must be explained before marriage.
It is said that people today are not old-minded, more thoughtful and smarter than people in the past. In fact, it is no wonder that according to Maslow's demand theory, once people have no worries about basic materials such as food, clothing, housing and transportation, they will turn to the pursuit of spiritual enjoyment and interests.
Just like some well-off families now, although they have given birth to daughters, in order to continue their blood relationship and surname, they are required to tell each other when talking about the object and need to come to their home. In view of the concept of door-to-door, many young people don't really understand it now, thinking that they will go to the door with the woman. In fact, there are many details, and the surname of the woman is just one of many things. For example, in some local customs mentioned in the article, it is also a fact that a son-in-law can't give it to his parents.
Marriage is a major event in life, and there are too many interests disputes between the two families. In the final analysis, it is the game and balance between family forces. In order to avoid some unnecessary troubles, some things must be considered clearly and explained in advance, and you should make a decision on the basis of fully understanding these things. If you are eager to marry yourself just to get a wife, it will inevitably bury hidden dangers for the outbreak of contradictions in the future.
Marriage depends not only on people, but also on each other's families, especially parents' humanistic qualities.
When we get married, we often think that it is a young couple's life, as long as the other person is nice. However, when you get married, you will find that if only the person you love is good, it really won't work. The humanistic quality of both parents is also very important, that is to say, it depends on whether the other parents are reasonable or not, which is exactly what they should say: the essence of marriage is the combination of two families.
Therefore, before getting married, we should not only fully understand our lover's personality, but also get along with each other's parents through various opportunities, especially as a future son-in-law, there is a great chance to deal with the woman's parents. Knowing each other's parents' personality is related to the success of our future marriage, and parents' reasoning will save many hidden dangers for the harmony of marriage. On the contrary, families tend to be overcast.
The meaning of marriage is not only based on getting married and having children, but also implies many other rights and interests.
For men, getting married is not only to find a permanent partner, to have a child to support the elderly, but once they become a door-to-door son-in-law, these meanings are completely opposite. At least according to our current custom, visiting a son-in-law is equivalent to giving his son to someone else's house as a son. Although this truth seems to make men indignant, it does embody such a meaning in reality.
In our traditional concept, a woman marries a man, but it is just the water thrown out by the married girl. From then on, the meaning of the door-to-door son-in-law is almost the same. In our marriage concept of either you or me, the door-to-door son-in-law is completely an accessory of the woman's family. The so-called wife is just marrying herself, and the children born are also inherited by others.
Therefore, focusing on reality, if a man is forced to be a door-to-door son-in-law, then the chain reaction that may occur behind him must be considered clearly. Marriage is not that simple, nor is it as naive as you think. Marriage is more of a compromise arrangement after the interest game, and behind the interests is also a contradictory tit for tat. As a man, it is not only as simple as a son-in-law, but also many things that you need to compromise and accept. Going door to door makes men feel hurt except.