My officer and my regiment

Colonel said that he was tried for the first time after being arrested by Yu Xiaoqing, which seemed to be the sixteenth episode. The second time, when he discussed attacking the Nantianmen in the Temple of Sacrifice to the Flag, he cried and said to Yu: I can't stand it, I surrender. Everyone believes in you, and everyone gives his life for you. What do I believe? Who should I give my life to? Thinking is tiring and troublesome. I don't want to be paranoid. I just want to find someone I can trust, do things and make things the way they are ... It seems to be 39 episodes.