An official was promoted and said to his wife, "My official position is bigger than before."
The wife said, "officer, I wonder if this thing is big?"
The official said: "naturally."
When it comes to acting, my wife blames her for being so young. The official said, "You are much older and have no feelings."
The wife said, "Why don't you feel it?"
The official said, "Is it true that your master has been promoted and your grandmother will remain the same?"? Without me, mine is big and yours is big. "
Job comparison
A and B are junior high schools in the same year. A chooses the storehouse post, and B grants the county magistrate. One day, A said haughtily, "I was in Tsinghua and was banned by Chen, so my qualification is far from that of my elder brother. He didn't have a theory, but chose to pay homage with posters, and his status was decent. It's a paradise. " B said, "How many words can you use in your post? Is it not much bigger than that in my notice? The people listened to the advice and persisted in the end, but it was useless to miss my brother. " A said, "But the golden melon is yellow, showing off magnificently. Do you, brother? " B said, "Brother Zanjia has cleared the way, and it is all over the street. How many times more than my brother? " Jia Yue said, "I am a great teacher, and my name is Shang Yuan. Can I miss my brother without envy? " B said, "My brother has the right to seal a letter. Life and death are in the imperial court, but I am in charge of it. Look at my brother living in Lengcao, who is afraid of you? " A didn't feel shy, just said, "In short, the voice of Hanlin is worth thousands of dollars." B smiled and said, "When I was sitting in court, people called me Grandpa Qingtian. Isn't it a thousand dollars? "
Fashili
An official came, and the ceremony was over. There was unwrapped paper money on the ground. The official took a tin ingot and hid it. "Sir, this is paper money. What's the use? " Asked at the door. The official said: "I know, wait until I make a profit."
Greedy officials
Some farmers plan to go to the old nursery before they live. Laopu said, "It's not difficult. Bury your money under every tree in front of your door and you can live. " Asked why, he replied, "the rich live, but the poor die."
reasonable
Officials are the greediest. One day, two people were arrested (tried) for dysprosium, and the plaintiff gave fifty gold. When the defendant heard about it, he paid double the bribe. The trial, regardless of the reason, draws lots to beat the plaintiff. The plaintiff will make a gesture of counting to five and say, "Small is reasonable." The official also replied with his hand: "Slave, you are right." He shook his hand and said, "He is more reasonable than you."
Gold extraction
An official gave a Zhu ticket, took two ingots of red gold, and gave them to the shopkeeper. This is the hall price. The official asked, "Value geometry?" The shopkeeper said, "A reasonable price should be a certain amount. Now the master takes it and can only take half price. " Guan Gu said, "Wait a minute. Give him back an ingot." After the payment, the shopkeeper is still waiting for the price. The official said, "The price has been paid." The shopkeeper said, "I haven't sent it." The official said angrily, "Diao Nu, you said you only got half the price, so I'll give you an ingot back, which is half the price." The county hasn't lost you, how can it be entangled? Get out! "
Paste coating
A young blind man was involved in a lawsuit. He complained that he was blind. The official said, "How can you cheat when you have a pair of white eyes?" Answer: "The master thinks that the villain is innocent, and the villain thinks that the master is confused."
ignorant
It's hard to argue with an official, who is lazy in drinking wine and greedy for money. The people were disgusted, so they wrote a poem, and a cloud said, "Black patent leather lanterns, fireflies for a long time. Draw a white tiger on the white wall and write an oolong on the yellow paper. Eggplant knocks on the mud, while wax gourd knocks on the wooden bell. I only know money and wine, regardless of justice and fairness. "
Let's play
An official was trampled by his wife and shouted angrily, "Your Majesty, my wife Luo Chan fought yesterday and stepped on my veil." Upload a message: "You must be patient. The queen is a little tired. She doesn't agree with me. The flat crown is smashed to pieces, and your gauze cap is just an egg bag. "
Stealing cattle
If the cow was stolen and prosecuted by an official, the official asked, "When did you steal it?" A: "Sir, there will be no tomorrow." The official was very angry and said, "I think you stole it!" " "The official scattered two cuffs:" Let the master search. "