The teacher said angrily, "Good morning? What shall I do in the afternoon? Not good? "
So the students shouted together: "Good afternoon, teacher!"
The teacher said angrily, "What about my evening?"
The students shouted together again: "Good evening, teacher!" "
The teacher nodded and said, "That's it. Now shout it again! " "
The students shouted: "Good morning, teacher, good afternoon and good evening!" "
The teacher said, "Sit down! Today we are going to review antonyms. Let's practice like this. When I say something, you say the antonym loudly. Start now. "
Teacher: "The weather is fine today."
Teacher: "There is sunshine everywhere."
Student: "There are clouds everywhere."
Teacher: "The road is crowded with people."
Student: "There is no one on the road."
Teacher: "Young."
Student: "Old."
Student: "Lie down"
Teacher: "There is a young man standing on the road."
Student: "There is an old man lying on the road."
Teacher: "I found a dollar."
Student: "I lost a dollar."
Teacher: "I found a dollar and gave it to the teacher."
$
Student: "I stole a teacher and lost a dollar."
Teacher: "No, you can't say that!" " "
Student: "Correct, you should say so!" " "
Teacher: "Wrong."
Student: "Correct."
Teacher: "that won't do, it's illegal!" " "
Student: "This is ok, this is a legal act!" " "
Teacher: "I was wrong."
Student: "We are right."
Teacher: "Listen to the teacher, what the teacher said is right!" " "
Student: "Listen to us, everything the teacher said is wrong!" " "
Teacher: "You are so stupid."
Student: "We are very smart."
Teacher: "Stop!"
Student: "Go on!"
Teacher: "You stop now! Stop it! "
Student: "Go on now! Say it! "
Teacher: "You stupid pigs, I said stop!" " "
Student: "We are all geniuses, we say go on!" " "
Teacher: "You listen to the teacher!" " "
Student: "The teacher listens to us!" " "
Teacher: "all students have to listen to the teacher!" " "
Student: "The teacher should listen to the students!" " "
Teacher: "now you stop practicing!" " "
Student: "Now let's continue to practice!" "
Teacher: "Are you endless?"
Student: "We finish what we started!" "
Teacher: "Then stop! Stupid pig! "
Student: "Then we should continue! Genius! "
..... Then the teacher walked out of the classroom angrily with a book in his arms.
All the people riding white horses are not necessarily princes, but they may be Tang Priest.
You are handsome, and your whole family is handsome.
What's your mother's name?
Fuck, don't curse. ...
Q: Do you think my head is Niu B?
A: Yes!
Clear water means no fish, while lowly people are invincible!
The following joke is best to laugh ... wait a minute, let me laugh first ... I can't breathe ... Hahahaha ... It's so funny ... Ha.
Ha ... why don't you laugh ... ha ha laugh ... Let's laugh together ... Come on!
Mouse: I'm in love with bats now, and children live in the air from now on, so I'm not afraid of your cats. The cat sneered, pointed to the owl in the tree and said, look
Do you see it? She's pregnant with my baby!
Pig Bajie was making out with Chang 'e on the moon when suddenly a dark shadow passed by and Pig Bajie hurriedly carried a rake.
After chasing him out, he came back after a while and said, damn it, Yang Liwei. ......
Mr banana is dating his girlfriend and walking down the street. It was very hot, so Mr banana took off his clothes, and then his girlfriend fell down. ...
Cold drinks are sold as new products: "Heartache", a glass of 20 yuan. Curious to buy one, it really hurts: it's just a cup of boiled water!
The little white rabbit met a wolf while walking in the forest. He came up and put two big ear stickers on the little white rabbit and said, "I told you not to wear a hat."
. The little white rabbit left very grievance.
The next day, she skipped out of the house wearing a hat and met the wolf again. He came up and gave the little white rabbit two big mouths and said, "me!" "
Let you put on your hat. "
Tutu is depressed. After thinking for a long time, I finally decided to complain to the king of the forest, Tiger.
After explaining the situation, the tiger said, "OK, I see. I will handle this matter, so trust the organization." On the same day, the tiger found his partner.
Wolves. "It is wrong for you to do so. It is very difficult for me. " Then he wiped the dust off the table: "Do you think this will work?" you can
So, Tutu, come and find me a piece of meat! She found the fat one, and you said you wanted the thin one. She found a thin one, and you said you wanted a fat one. So you can beat
She died. Of course, you can also say that. Tutu, come and find me a woman. She found plump ones, and you said you liked slim ones. She found slim.
Yes, you said you like plump ones. You can beat her. It is both reasonable and powerful. "The wolf nodded and clapped his hands, and his reverence for the tiger reached a new height.
Peak. Unexpectedly, the above instructions were heard by the little white rabbit who was weeding the tiger's house outside the window. I hate this in my heart.
The next day, the little white rabbit went out again. What a coincidence! It's the big bad wolf coming. The wolf said, "Tutu, come and find me a piece of meat."
Tutu said, "So, do you want to be fat or thin?" The wolf listened, his heart sank and he was happy again. He said it was a good thing there was a plan B, he added.
"Tutu, Mary, find me a woman." Tutu asked, "So, do you like plump or slim?" The wolf was silent for 2 seconds.
The clock raised its hand and gave Tutu two big ear tags. "Shit, I told you not to wear a hat."
The story of two psychopaths
It is said that two mental patients managed to escape from the mental hospital.
But when you get out of the door, you have to climb over the wall of 100 to reach the expressway.
They climbed 60 walls together. One of them was mentally ill and asked the other, "Are you tired, man?"
The other replied that he was not tired.
He said that it was very tiring. Let's keep turning.
When turning to the 99th wall, a psychopath asked another psychopath, "Are you tired, man?"
The other replied, "I'm tired! Let's go back! "
So they returned it. ......
Chu Xiang Yang: I failed the arithmetic exam today.
Dad: Why?
Chu Yangxiang: The teacher asked me what 2×3 was, and I said 6.
Dad: That's right!
Chu Xiang Yang: The teacher asked me how much 3x2 equals.
Dad: What the fuck's the difference!
Chu Xiang Yang: That's what I said.
It is said that a little boy rushed to the police station and said to the police: no, no, my father had a fight with his neighbor! Go now! Will it come out?
Life! The policeman asked: When did it start? Almost half an hour. "Then why didn't you report earlier?" "Just now has been my father has the upper hand.
Yes, but now I think he will be in pain! "
Barry: I seem to be in love with a dog.
Fairy: What? A male dog?
Barry: Of course it's a bitch! You think I'm a pervert?
Abby and Artie went to the bar and got drunk. There are only two female guests in it. Abby, the leader, suddenly jumped out and whispered to Artie.
He said, "Let's go! I can't believe my wife and mistress are in there. " Ah di probe a look, and his face changed way:
"Strange! My wife and mistress are also in it. 」
Once upon a time, two people lived on both sides of the river. They have bad ears, but they are polite. One morning,
People in Hexi saw people in Hedong go out with sickles and shouted at each other: Hey! I said, are you going to mow the grass? river
When Dongfang saw Xihe shouting at him, knowing that he was concerned about what he was going to do, he shouted, Oh, no, I'm going to cut it.
Grass! Seeing the people on the other side of the river shouting at him, he knew that the other side had answered himself and said politely, Oh, yes.
Really, I thought you were mowing the grass!
An American hacker threatened to hack a China website, but as soon as he opened the webpage, he got four or five viruses …
Women are so ugly that they will never get married, hoping to be trafficked. One day, her dream finally came true and she was kidnapped. The kidnapper thought she was ugly and sent her home. This woman is determined not to
Get off the bus, the kidnapper leader gnashed his teeth and stamped his foot, fuck, go! No car! !
1. Title: Although .........
Child: He took off his clothes and put on his trousers.
Teacher's comment: Is he going to take it off? Still have to wear it?
2. Title: Among them
Children: I hurt my left foot.
Teacher's comment: Are you a centipede?
3. Title: One by one
Child: After work, Dad goes home one after another.
Teacher's comment: How many dads do you have?
4. Theme: Sadness
Child: There is a ditch in front of my house, which is really sad.
Teacher's comment: The teacher is even sadder.
5. Title: Once again
Child: My mother is short, tall, fat and thin.
Teacher's comment: Is your mother a deformed diamond?
6. Title: Look.
Children: What are you looking at? Never seen it?
Teacher's comment: Don't procrastinate too much.
7. title: prosperity
Children write: bustling confession.
Teacher's comment: Don't watch too many series!
8. Title: Delicious
Children write: delicious fart.
Teacher: .........
9. Title: Innocence
The child wrote: It's really hot today.
Teacher's comment: You are so naive.
10. Title: Sure enough
The children said: I ate fruit yesterday. Then I drank cold water.
Teacher's comment: a sentence that cannot be separated.
1 1. theme: first ... then ... example: eat first, then take a bath.
Children: Goodbye, sir!
Teacher's comments: .................
12. Title: In addition,
Child: A train passes by, besides, besides.
Teacher's comment: forget it if I die.
10 A name that administrators can't stand.
1 "I don't know"
Whistleblower: "Administrator, someone uses a plug-in, and I report it."
Administrator: "Who?"
Whistleblower: "I don't know."
Administrator: "-Get out-"
"It's me"
Whistleblower: "Administrator, someone uses a plug-in, and I report it."
Administrator: "OK, who is it?"
Whistleblower: "That's me."
Administrator: "Very good, all of you, seal!" " "
Whistleblower: "-Help!"
3 "Please wait"
Whistleblower: "Administrator, someone uses a plug-in, and I report it."
Administrator: "Report again, who?"
Whistleblower: "Please wait a moment."
Manager: "OK, hurry up."
A minute later
Administrator: "Who is it?"
Whistleblower: "Please wait a moment."
Administrator: "I'll wait for you."
4 "Not me."
Whistleblower: "Administrator, someone uses a plug-in, and I report it."
Administrator: "Who is it?"
Whistleblower: "Not me."
Administrator: "Who is that?"
Whistleblower: "Not me."
Administrator: "You are talking nonsense, not who are you?"
Whistleblower: "Really, it's not me."
Administrator: "Fuck you."
5 "Hee hee hee"
Whistleblower: "Administrator, someone uses a plug-in, and I report it."
Administrator: "Report again. Tell me who it is. "
Whistleblower: "Hee hee hee."
Administrator: "Who's calling, please?"
Whistleblower: "Hee hee hee."
Administrator: "Somebody, call the mental hospital."
6 "I am your father."
Whistleblower: "Administrator, someone uses a plug-in, and I report it."
Administrator: "Who! ? "
Whistleblower: "I am your father."
Administrator: "I'm your grandfather."
7 "I lied to you"
Whistleblower: "Administrator, someone uses a plug-in, and I report it."
Librarian: "Give me your name."
Whistleblower: "I lied to you."
Administrator: "I have nothing to do when I am full." Go home and drink milk. "
8 "I am dead"
Whistleblower: "Administrator, someone uses a plug-in, and I report it."
Administrator: "Boy, I've been played all day. If you report a false case, I will kill you. Tell me who it is! "
Whistleblower: "I am dead."
Administrator: "You-what's the trouble if you die? Come to me when you are alive. "
9 "Administrator"
Whistleblower: "Administrator, someone uses a plug-in, and I report it."
Administrator: "Say it! ! ! "
Whistleblower: "Administrator."
Administrator: "Is it necessary for me to use a plug-in? Ruin you! "
10 "I won't say anything until I'm killed."
Whistleblower: "Administrator, someone uses a plug-in, and I report it."
Administrator: "Come on! ! ! ! ! "
Whistleblower: "I will not say anything until I die."
Administrator: "You-you have nothing to do when you are full, get out!" " "
A group of animals crossed the river until the boat in the middle of the river began to enter the water, and some of them had to go into the water.
The clever monkey came up with an idea for everyone to tell a joke. If the joke doesn't make everyone laugh, he must throw the speaker into the water.
So we began to draw lots, and the result was that the cat was the first, followed by the monkey and the chicken. . .
The cat tried to tell a joke, and everyone laughed except the pig. But the animals had to throw the cat into the water.
The monkey's jokes make people laugh their heads off, but the pig still doesn't laugh, and the monkey has to feed the fish.
Chickens are afraid, even the cleverest monkeys can't escape this fate. . .
Unexpectedly, the pig smiled at this time, and all the animals said strangely, why did you laugh before the chicken spoke?
The pig said, the cat joke is really funny. . .
2. I said that day, "You are a pig." You said, "I am a pig." So from now on, I will call you "pig"! Finally, one day, you can't stand it in public.
People shouted in front of them: "I'm not a pig!" " "
The ugly man sent ninety-nine roses to his beautiful female colleague.
Marry me! I love you!
Woman: Forget it! I have no feelings for you.
Man: Please tell me that's not good, and I'll replace it.
W: What do you like about me? I changed
One day, Xiao Qiang asked his father, Dad, am I a stupid boy? Dad said: silly child, how can you be a silly child?
Thief A: Count how much money was robbed today? Thief B: No, just read the newspaper tomorrow.
Stand higher and pee farther.
Mom: Everything goes up, such as water, electricity, gas and air pollution. Son: There is always something to go down! Mom: What about my humorous and clever son?
Son: Look at my report card.
Mouse: I'm in love with bats now, and children live in the air from now on, so I'm not afraid of your cats. The cat sneered, pointed to the owl in the tree and said, look
Do you see it? She's pregnant with my baby!
People don't attack me, I don't attack; If people offend me, comity three points; If people force me again, I'll give you an injection; People still attack me and kill the grass.
I allow you to walk into my world, but I don't allow you to walk around in my world.
3, Ming Sao is easy to hide and hard to prevent.
4. The sky didn't fall on me, so it broke my heart and hurt my bones and muscles.
5, holding the child's hand, I know that the child is ugly and full of tears. If the child doesn't leave, I will leave.
6, red beans don't grow in the south, they grow on my face, I really miss it!
7. I am convinced that a person will come to this world because of my torture.
8. Journey to the West tells us that monsters with backgrounds are all picked up, and those without backgrounds are killed with a stick.
9. What are you unhappy about? Say it to make everyone happy.
10, I like you so much. If you like me, you will die.
My mother asked me if I had a boyfriend, and I said no. My mother said: I can have this, and I said: I really don't have this ~ ~ ~
A mental patient ran out of the hospital and kidnapped a young man with a real gun. He asked the young man, "1+ 1=?" The young man thought for a moment,
Nervously said: ". . . . "As a result, he killed the young man. Why do you ask? Oh, he said to the young man before he killed him, "You know too much.
This ... "
Two colleagues got drunk after drinking. One of them dragged his tongue and said, "What I see now is double-layered."
The other man quickly took out a 10 dollar bill from his pocket and said, "Here's my $20."
Who came up with it? , not bad! I want to support his lungs.
Reply: Sorry to say.