2. Work in the morning. There are all kinds of school friends on the bus, as well as their grandparents. They only listen to credit card machines: Didi, student cards. Drop the old card. On the road, a middle-aged woman came over and only listened to the front row.
Two-cargo little basin friend shouted: Didi, the old ladies are stuck ... In an instant, everyone in the car laughed. ...
3. Teacher: Xiaoming, your problem is the improper use of words. Now I'll test you, and use an idiom to describe the teacher's happiness. Xiaoming: Smile.
Teacher Jiuquan: You'd better get out. ...
4. Dad found that his daughter in primary school was using QQ, so he sent her a friend application, and as a result, the authentication box immediately jumped out. Dad thought his daughter was safe and knew how to stop strangers. So he marked his father in the verification box, thinking that he would pass the verification soon. 0. The application was rejected by my daughter on the grounds that the child is the only one!
One day when I was a child, I broke the piggy bank and counted the money dime by dime. Mom: Baby, what are you doing? Me: Count the money. Mom: Why count the money? Me: Buy a mother who won't hit me. Mom: ...
6. The Jane Doe's neck was bitten by a mosquito. In autumn, mosquitoes fly slowly, so she catches them and wants to throw them away. Her boyfriend said, no, it can also give you breast enhancement in a bra. She tore open her boyfriend's crotch in a rage and threw it in, saying, I'll give you a strong aphrodisiac first.
7. Friends and sisters, hospital nurses! One day, a super handsome guy came to the ward. My sister is shy and excited with a syringe. Handsome, it's an injection. Come on, take off your pants! The handsome boy clung to his underwear. Sister, I seldom come to the hospital, but don't lie to me. I've seen intravenous drip and spanking for the first time since I was so big. ...
8. Girlfriend is ugly. Turn off the lights every time I come, and imagine my girlfriend as a goddess in the dark. Later, I felt very guilty. Once, my girlfriend was about to turn off the lights. I said, leave it open and let me have a good look at you. My girlfriend slapped me in the face: How can I imagine that you are Daniel Wu with the light on?
9. mom asked.
Five-year-old daughter: What do you want for your birthday this year? Daughter: I want a box of birth control pills! What are you doing here? I already have it
Four dolls, I don't want them. 10. Teenagers have an ancestral treasure jade. On this day, while riding a horse, jade fell to the ground and was seen to pick it up and run. The teenager quickly rode his horse and shouted, Drive, give me my jade back ... Yuyu, drive, Yuyu Yuyu ... Can I run or not? Then the horse began to scold. 1 1. A couple both like durian, but they are afraid of being smoked.
Five-year-old son, just hiding in the kitchen to eat, at this time.
The five-year-old son pushed open the door and shouted, OK, you eat shit behind my back.
12. One day, I was in the street. Suddenly I was in a hurry. After searching for a long time, I finally found a pay toilet. Aunt said
Fifty cents a time, I searched all over my body and only found
Forty cents change, but it was urgent. Finally, I choked and said, Aunt, I only have.
Forty cents, can you pee less?