2. Two tomatoes cross the road, a car flies by, one of them can't escape and is squashed, and the other tomato points to the squashed tomato and laughs: dig hahaha, ketchup …
3. There is a duck named Xiao Huang. One day, he was hit by a car. He shouted, "Gung!" From then on, he became a cucumber! !
4. The matchstick suddenly felt itchy, so I reached out and scratched it, and I burned myself to death …
Once upon a time, there was a bird that passed a cornfield every day. Unfortunately.
One day, a fire broke out in the corn field and all the corn turned into popcorn.
After the bird flew by ... it thought it was snowing, so it was very cold. ...
6. When will Taiwan Province Province be reunified? When buying instant noodles
7. Asun and appa have nothing to talk about, telling each other that time waits for no man.
A song: "Recalling childhood, the happiest thing is Children's Day."
Apa: "Youth Day is in ten years."
A song: "Father's Day is in ten years."
Apa: "It will be the days of the elderly in a few decades."
A song: "In a few decades."
Appa: Tomb-Sweeping Day.
8. What did mung bean become after jumping off the fifth floor and committing suicide? -Red beans, because they are bleeding.
9. When riding a motorcycle, a person likes to wear his clothes backwards, that is, buckle his back to keep out the wind.
One day, he drove under the influence of alcohol, overturned and fell headlong on the side of the road.
When the police arrived, ...
Policeman A: What a terrible car accident.
Policeman B: Yes, I hit my head in the back.
Officer A: Well, he's still breathing. Let's help him turn his head back.
Policeman B: OK ... One, two, push, turn around.
Policeman A: Well, I'm not breathing. ......
10. What did the cucumber become when it fell from the upstairs? eggplant
The doctor asked the patient how the fracture happened. The patient said, I felt sand in my shoes, so I shook my shoes with a telephone pole. A fucking * * * passed by and thought I was electrocuted, so he grabbed a stick and gave me two sticks!
12. The tortoise is hurt. Let snails buy medicine. Two hours have passed and the snail hasn't come back yet. The tortoise was in a hurry to scold: if I don't fucking come back, I'll die! At this time, the snail's voice came from outside the door: * * Besides, I'm not going!
13. A couple quarreled. Woman: "You can't compare with anyone!" " "
Man: "Yes, especially girlfriends!" "
14. A Yue wants to cook and asks her mother who plays mahjong, how many meters should she wash?
Mom didn't hear Ah Yue's question. She played the cards in her hand and said, "Nine drums".
As a result, this pot of rice kept them eating for a whole week.
15. You said: I love you 52 1.
+Say it again: 365 per day.
-
Result = 886
16. The flight attendant greeted the guests at the airport gate. A young man came up and said, "Welcome aboard. Which seat are you in? "
The passenger replied, "I'm Scorpio, and you?"
"I'm a Scorpio. I mean, which seat are you sitting in? . . .
17. People are in a meeting: The doctor said, "I'm a doctor." The monk said, "I am a monk." The soldier said, "I am a soldier." The swordsman said, "You go first, I'll go first."
18. The woman is ugly and can't get married, hoping to be trafficked. Finally, my dream came true, but I couldn't sell it for half a month. When the kidnapper brought it back, she insisted on not getting off the bus. The kidnapper gritted his teeth and stamped his feet: go, don't take the car!
19. One day, A picked a mirror and looked at it. People here are too familiar.
B said; Is it? Let me see (holding a mirror), me! You don't even know me?
Teacher: "Xiao Ming, please come up and do this quadratic equation."
Xiao Ming: "Teacher ~ ~ ~ I only have one dollar ..."
2 1. A caterpillar in the tree has nothing to do. It plucks its hair, plucks its hair. It found that its panel was so smooth. When it was about to say this feeling, it was kicked out of the tree by another caterpillar. The caterpillar that kicked it off the tree said angrily, you dead earthworm, don't think that you can become a caterpillar by climbing the tree.
22. A college student was caught by the enemy. The enemy tied him to a telephone pole and asked him, where are you from? I'll electrocute you if you don't tell me! The college student replied to the enemy's words and was electrocuted. He said, I'm from TV University!
23. Once upon a time, a steamed bread ~ ate a meatball ~ became a steamed bread.
1. It's good to paddle when you get on the boat, but who knows it's refueling!
When someone asks you what you are doing, you simply say "I am alive".
The pie in the sky falls on people who know how to open their mouths.
Don't argue with a NB, because he will bring your IQ to the same level as him, and then beat you with rich experience.
I feel a little depressed because of surge of emotion.
6. Be nice to others when you climb up, because you will meet them when you go down.
7. When we were young, we cried and laughed. When we grew up, we laughed and cried.
8. Although godfather and boyfriend have different meanings these days, they do the same thing.
9. Today is MM's birthday. In order to be the first to send my blessing, I picked up my mobile phone on time early in the morning and sent a message: sofa.
10. Many people come into your life just to teach you a lesson and then turn around and leave.
1 1. Passengers who have already bought tickets, please get off!
12. I just want to live my favorite life simply, and life also likes to filter me simply.
13. A man felt guilty after cheating and confessed to his wife: I took the bullet train. The wife said: hmm. The man added: I took the bullet train. The wife said without looking up: Oh. Husband is anxious: Cao, I cheated.
14. I hope I can lie on the sunflower and face the sunshine even if I am depressed.
15. There is a bright spring in everyone's heart, and we always let it snow intentionally or unintentionally.
16. I just wanted to turn gracefully, but I accidentally ran into a wall.
17. The boss may not be able to forgive what the teacher can forgive.
18. You are in my heart, but you are not with me.
19. You have to live in a complicated society, not a university or a paradise.
20. People like you, I forgot that you don't have anyone's qualification certificate, so you should die of old age.
2 1. Is it important? Is it big news? I don't think this is big news.
22. Everyone has the right to humiliate himself.
23. It's autumn again by accident!
Be careful of your enthusiasm, you may burn others.
25. Many things are really more than fake, just like news and movies.
26. If there is an earthquake, will the ear digger be unlucky?
27. Laugh naturally when you are happy, and laugh naturally when you are unhappy.
28. All good beginnings and endings happen in bed. Sleep!
29. There is no permanent interest, only a permanent position.
30. The best proof of maturity is a fake smile.
3 1. 13, 13, shiny, full big biscuit.
32. Bury the bullet train in the soil until a new bullet train grows next year.
33. I am just your symbol, drawing a perfect ending for you and her.
The cruelest reality is that the girl you like belongs to others, and the girl you don't like belongs to others.
For an impotent person, "premature ejaculation" is an extravagant hope!
When I have money, I will buy a bus, take the bus lane and stop at the bus stop. If someone wants to get on the bus, I will say: Sorry, this is a private car.
2. Guest, are you staying in a hotel or a hotel?
I shit.
I was very young. What about you? Are you old?
A gentleman is just a patient wolf.
5. It is not necessarily a good thing for everyone to stand on one side, such as standing on the side of the ship.
6. relax, I'm not a good person ...
7. You said ... you like me? Actually ... first of all ... actually, I also ... well, to be honest, I actually like myself.
As a typical loser, you are really successful.
9. I just learned to ride a bike when I was a child. Before I knew it, I ran into the street. When I saw an old man walking in front of me, I felt I was going to hit it. I said, don't move, don't move. The old man stood there for a while without moving, so I turned around and hit him. The old man stood up and said, did you aim?
10, if there is 300W, everyone says it is better to buy Mercedes or Ferrari.
It's best to buy 300 second-hand Otto cars and hire 300 drivers to drive behind you, one in an S shape and the other in a B shape.
1 1, smile more, and beware of catching a cold on cloudy days!
12, I laughed at the sky from the horizontal knife and went to bed after laughing!
13, Lu Yao knows that the horsepower is insufficient, and people will watch for a long time.
14, my father expressed his views on my obesity: Han Hong's life was not lost, but Han Hong's disease was also found.
15, I never hold a grudge, but I usually report it on the spot.
16, don't cry at my grave. Dirty my path of reincarnation.
17, that's right, Mr. Zhang. You can't press CTRL+C on your home computer and then CTRL+V on your company computer. Not even the same article. No, no, it's not even an expensive computer.
18, I thought you were just a number between 1 and 3, but I didn't expect you to be a combination of 1 and 3.
20. A cannibal went to work, and the manager repeatedly told him not to eat his colleagues and agreed. I couldn't help eating a detergent in a few days.
People were discovered immediately. The sentiment is: never eat people who really do things.
2 1. Now you scold me because you don't know me yet. When you get to know me later, you will definitely hit me.
22. People never know who inadvertently said goodbye to you and then really disappeared.
23. The road to success is always under construction.
24, I don't go to hell, who loves who.
25. Guess an English sentence: "ababbaaaaaaaaaabbaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
26, think of your eyebrows, think of ambiguity. I suddenly feel that most of my thoughts are like this, and they are getting weaker and weaker (I vaguely remember that this is the lyrics of Faye Wong's "I don't want this either", don't you know? )
27. Years later, I lamented those two teenagers: one was amazing and the other was gentle.
28. If she (he) says to you, "Forget me." You tell each other, "I never remember."
29. You are very kind to us. I will always remember that I will never let you go if I am a ghost.
Dear female colleagues, please don't be angry with me. My wife has a caller ID.
3 1, smile, wave, goodbye, over.
I remember I decided to be an interesting person.
33. Think about the salary ratio, forget it, and don't want to live.
34. Well, give me an affordable grave.
35. I have lived for more than 20 years and have done nothing for the motherland and the people. Every time I think about it, my heart aches.
36. Do all the bad things you can while you are young. There are only a few years left.
37. Earn money selling cabbage and white powder.
38. A seven-year-old boy is the most terrible creature on earth. They are curious, active, destructive and have the law on the protection of minors.
39. A man keeps his word-I won't pay back the money if I say no!
40. Laozi said: Sleep can sleep, very sleep.
4 1. Although I believe in vows of eternal love, I may not believe you.
42. God said: Don't forget to take an umbrella when you go out. I will water the flowers later.
43. Special people never say they are special, such as me.
44. My answer was good, but Tai said he couldn't come.
45. I know all banquets must come to an end, but at least I want to eat well at the banquet!
46. I will take my sunshine road and you will cross your Naihe Bridge.
47. The world belongs to us and our children, but ultimately to our children and grandchildren!
48. Whenever I encounter difficulties, I will read Tibetan scriptures: "Oh, moo, coax", which translates into English: all the money goes to my house!
49, the simplest secret of longevity-keep breathing, don't die.
50. Confucius said: Sleepless at noon, collapse at noon. Mencius said: Confucius is right!
5 1, kindness means that bia ji doesn't eat meat when others are hungry.
52, the long road of life, there will always be a few wrong steps.
53. I never bully the weak ~ ~ ~ I didn't know he was weaker than me before I bullied him …
54. You take your overpass and I'll take my underground passage.
55. My hobbies can be divided into static and dynamic, static is sleeping, and dynamic is turning over …
56, where you fall, you get up from there ... always fall there, I suspect there is a pit!
57, alas ~ this person is not straight, even the headache is partial.
58. I don't know much about music, so sometimes it's unreliable and sometimes it's out of tune.
59. When people do good deeds, they always want ghosts and gods to know. They have done bad things and always think that ghosts and gods don't know. We embarrassed ghosts and gods.
60. Ask who is the most enlightened person in the world, and I will do my part.
6 1. If you can't tolerate me, it means that either your mind is too narrow or my personality is too great.
62. I will go on until the river stops my thirst; Then sit and watch the rising clouds, dizzy.
63. I want to learn from the phoenix nirvana, but I accidentally ... cooked it!
Anyway, my life is always different from their calculations. I don't know whether they are wrong or I am wrong.
65. You have a 30-degree smile at the corner of your mouth, which Baidu can't find.
66. Of course God will forgive me, because that's his profession.
When you hold your hand, you will know that your child is ugly and your face is covered with tears. If you don't go, I will.
68. Does handsome have a P? Probably eaten by a pawn!
69. Don't tell me to bring it on-I have two generations of feelings!
70. If you bother me again, I'll tie you to a straw boat and borrow an arrow!
7 1, if people don't attack me, I won't attack; If people offend me, comity three points; If people force me again, I'll give you an injection; People still attack me and kill the grass.
72. I am not RMB. How can I make everyone like me? !
73. It's not difficult to be single, but it's difficult to deal with people who try their best to get you to end it.
74. If you have time to learn Feng Shui, you can make up for the regret that you can't afford a good house before you die.
75. At one time, we all thought we could die for love. In fact, love can't kill people. It will only stick a needle in the most painful place, and then we want to cry. We tossed and turned, and after a long illness, we became a doctor. You are not the wind, and I am not the sand. No matter how lingering, you can't reach the end of the world. Dry your tears. Tomorrow morning, we will all go to work.
76. The world is a giant doll machine. I just want to see you through the window.
If you go first, don't blame me for turning my back on you.
78. A person has only one heart, but two atria. A happy life; A person lives in sadness. Don't laugh too loudly, or you will wake up the sadness next to you.
79. Be good to yourself, because life is not long; Be kind to people around you, because you may not meet them in the next life.
Some people say that the merry-go-round is the cruelest game, but there is an eternal distance between chasing each other.
8 1. If there is an afterlife, be a tree and stand forever, without the gesture of sadness and joy. Half is peaceful in the dust, half is flying in the wind, half is cool, and half is bathed in the sun. Very silent and proud, never relying on and never looking for!
82. Picking up people should also pay attention to technology, and find the right person at the right time and place. For example, I am online at the moment.
83. I think when I love you, I am too low in the dust, but I don't bloom. Later, there was more and more dust, and finally we were buried alive. It turns out that love really can't be too humble. There can be no dust without nutrients.
84. I feel unhappy because I am not pursuing "happiness" but "being happier than others".
My 85-year-old and 5-year-old daughters ask her father to do something for her.
Dad: "Dad is very tired. Give me a compliment, and I will be refreshed again. "
Daughter: "Lao Zheng!"
Dad: "Hey!"
Daughter: "Your Niu Niu is really beautiful."
Let the old couple take pictures. The photographer asked, "Grandpa, do you want side light, backlight or full light?" Grandpa said shyly, "I don't care." Can you leave a pair of underwear for your aunt? " Wife's Quotation: You are allowed to get drunk and hook up with girls, but you must return to the team at night. If you dare to break my heart and my lungs, I will definitely cripple your third leg and let your bird sleep forever.
After seeing off the guests, the groom returned to the bedroom, only to find a meatball lying on the bed! The groom was frightened and asked where the bride was. Meatball said shyly, I hate it, you don't even know people when they take off their clothes!
Two old couples had a whim when they were eating one day: naked rice! Get back to your old feelings! * * * The old woman said: I still have a reaction! The nursing room is as hot as when I was young! The old man squinted and said, it's drooping in the soup!
Four mice brag: a: I eat rat poison as candy every day; B: it itches if you don't step on a mouse for a day; C: Don't go to the streets several times a day. D: it's getting late. Let's go home and hug the cat.
The sky is blue, the sea is deep, and nothing a person says is true; Love is eternal, blood is bright red, and it is impossible for a man not to fight; When a man has money, he is destined for everyone. If a person can rely on it, pigs can climb trees.
A group of ants climbed up the elephant's back, but were knocked down by the earthquake. Only one ant sticks to the elephant's neck. The ant below shouted: strangle him, strangle him, demo, it's fucking backwards!
The child stole a parrot from a prostitute's house. As soon as he entered the door, the parrot called, Move! Seeing his mother, he shouted: The boss has changed, too! Seeing his sister, he shouted, Miss has changed! Seeing his father, he shouted, I'm still an old customer!
Long life, who is not bad! Family to take care of, lovers to get along! There is a cook at home, a kind-hearted person outside, a nice table and a missing person in the distance! Keep two, keep one, develop three, four, five, six, seven!
A puppy climbed onto your dining table and onto a roast chicken. You're furious: I'll do whatever you dare to do to that roast chicken. As a result, the dog licked the chicken and you fainted. The dog said, Look who is cruel.
Legend has it that tonight, ghosts wander, death rays reappear, and ghosts turn around! May the ghost hear my call, come to your bedside in the middle of the night, touch your face with pale face, green eyes and dry hands and say good night to you for me!
Men, always smiling, eyes discharging, either disgusting and mean, or cheating! A woman with breast enhancement and waist reduction is dissolute, either take out your pocket or let you have a black knife! These days, freaks and banshees, look out!
When you were walking on the road, a bitch jumped on you, bit off a piece of meat from your foot and swallowed it quickly. When you put out your foot to kick it, the dog said with tears: You fight, anyway, I already have your flesh and blood in my stomach!
The mouse is particularly depressed because he has no girlfriend. Finally, a bat agreed to marry him, and the mouse was very happy. Others laughed at his lack of foresight. Mouse: What do you know? She is at least a stewardess.
A friend asked the bat how he married a mouse. The bat has tears in his eyes, which is meaningful: alas! That day, he ate Brother Wei, with strong firepower, and jumped on the ceiling to let him succeed.
I'm sending you this dime message to tell you that I'm not a penniless person. For example, this ten-dollar newsletter is my birthday present to you.
The ant lay lazily in the soil and stretched out a leg. A friend asked you why. Ant: Then the elephant came and tripped him.
Magpie came, and my mother said it was like a bird, like a guest; The swallow came, and my mother said it was a good bird or a guest. The crow came, and the child asked, are you a guest? The crow cried, Yes, I am a hacker!
A beautiful woman found lipstick too heavy, wiped it with a wet tissue and threw it on the road. An old man picked it up, looked at it for a long time and suddenly woke up. He caught up and said, girl, this ultra-thin one is easy to fall off!
Cucumber was lovelorn and cried, and eggplant comforted her: love is not only sweet, but also intoxicated, heartbroken and tearful. Alas! Who made you fall in love with onions?
Yesterday, I dreamed that God said I could grant a wish. I took out a globe and said I wanted world peace. He said it was too difficult to change. I took out your photo and said I want this person to look good. On reflection, he said that I would take another look at the globe.
The woman is ugly, can't get married, and wants to be trafficked. Finally, my dream came true, but I couldn't sell it for half a month. The kidnapper sent him back, but she insisted on not getting off. The kidnapper gritted his teeth and stamped his feet: Let's go, don't want the car.
Twenty years ago, dad held you waiting for the bus. Everyone laughed at the ugly child, and dad cried. An old man selling bananas patted his father and said, "Don't cry, big brother, give the monkey a banana!" " ! Poor thing, I'm so hungry that I have no hair. "
On the plane, a parrot said to the stewardess, "Give me a glass of water." The pig followed the parrot's example and said to the stewardess, "Give me a glass of water." The stewardess was furious and threw the parrot and pig off the plane. At this time, the parrot said to the pig, "You are stupid, I can fly."
An old farmer was hoeing in the field, and a crow flew over and took a shit and landed on the old farmer's face. The old farmer looked up and cursed: "Cao, you mother! I don't know how to wear shorts when I go out! " The crow said, "Cao! You shit and wear underpants! "
Xiao Ming told his mother that my brother put a thumbtack on the guest's chair today, and I saw it. Mom said, "Then how did you do it?" Xiao Ming said, "I stood by. When the guest wanted to sit down, I took the chair away from behind him."
One day on a crowded bus, a conversation went like this: a standing pregnant woman said to a man sitting next to him, "Don't you know I'm pregnant?" (I want him to give up his seat ...) I saw the man nervously say, "The child is not mine! 』
Just a gust of wind, so eternal, just a dream, so real, you bowed your head and said nothing, but I couldn't calm down. I finally can't help telling you, let me know the next time you fart!
A couple of lovers were caught by a savage in the mountains and said that you would let you go if you ate each other's shit. The lover did it. On the way home, the woman cried. The man asked her why, and the woman said sadly: You don't love me, otherwise you wouldn't pull so much!
Remember the first military training in the Woods in junior high school? The coach said to the students: Count off in the first row! You looked at the coach in surprise, and the coach said loudly: Count off. So, reluctantly, you turned and hugged the tree! -
The old couple went to take pictures, and the photographer asked, "Grandpa, do you want side light, backlight or full light?" My uncle said shyly, "I don't care." Can you leave a pair of underwear for your aunt? " 2. Wife's Quotation: You are allowed to get drunk and hook up with girls, but you must return to the team at night. If you dare to break my heart and my lungs, I will definitely cripple your third leg and let your bird sleep forever. 3. Two charming children got married. After seeing off the guests, the groom returned to the bedroom and found a meatball lying on the bed! The groom was frightened and asked where the bride was. Meatball said shyly, I hate it, you don't even know people when they take off their clothes! 4. Two old couples had a whim while eating one day: naked rice! Get back to your old feelings! * * * The old woman said: I still have a reaction! The nursing room is as hot as when I was young! The old man squinted and said, it's drooping in the soup! 5. Four mice brag: A: I eat rat poison as candy every day; B: it itches if you don't step on a mouse for a day; C: Don't go to the streets several times a day. D: it's getting late. Let's go home and hug the cat. 6. The sky is blue and the sea is deep, and nothing a person says is true; Love is eternal, blood is bright red, and it is impossible for a man not to fight; When a man has money, he is destined for everyone. If a person can rely on it, pigs can climb trees. 7. A group of ants climbed up the elephant's back, but they were knocked down. Only one ant sticks to the elephant's neck. The ant below shouted: strangle him, strangle him, demo, it's fucking backwards! 8. The child stole a parrot from a brothel. As soon as he entered the door, the parrot called, Move! Seeing his mother, he shouted: The boss has changed, too! Seeing his sister, he shouted, Miss has changed! Seeing his father, he shouted, I'm still an old customer! 9. Long road of life, who is better! Family to take care of, lovers to get along! There is a cook at home, a kind-hearted person outside, a nice table and a missing person in the distance! Keep two, keep one, develop three, four, five, six, seven! 10. A puppy climbed onto your dining table and crawled towards a roast chicken. You are furious and say, if you dare to do anything to that roast chicken, I will dare to do anything to you. As a result, the dog licked the chicken and you fainted. The dog said, look who is cruel. 1 1. Legend has it that tonight, ghosts wander, dead light reappears, and ghosts turn around! May the ghost hear my call, come to your bedside in the middle of the night, touch your face with pale face, green eyes and dry hands and say good night to you for me! 12. Men are always laughing and their eyes are discharging. They are either sick or cheating! A woman with a big breast and a thin waist is dissolute, either take out your pocket or let you have a black knife! These days, freaks and banshees, look out! 13. When you were walking on the road, a bitch jumped on you, bit off a piece of meat from your foot and swallowed it quickly. When you put out your foot to kick it, the dog said with tears: You fight, anyway, I already have your flesh and blood in my stomach! 14. Mice are particularly depressed without girlfriends. Finally, a bat agreed to marry him, and the mouse was very happy. Others laughed at his lack of foresight. Mouse: What do you know? She is at least a stewardess. 15. A friend asked the bat how he married a mouse. The bat's eyes are full of tears, which is meaningful: alas! That day, he ate Brother Wei, with strong firepower, and jumped on the ceiling to let him succeed. 16. I sent you this ten-cent message to tell you that I am not a penniless person. For example, this ten-dollar newsletter is my birthday present to you. 17. The ant lay lazily in the soil and stretched out a leg. What is your friend asking you? Ant: Then the elephant came and tripped him. 18. The magpie is coming. Mom said it was a bird or a guest. The swallow came, and my mother said it was a good bird or a guest. The crow came, and the child asked, are you a guest? The crow cried, Yes, I am a hacker! 19. A beautiful woman found lipstick too heavy, wiped it with a wet tissue and threw it on the road. An old man picked it up, looked at it for a long time and suddenly woke up. He caught up and said, girl, this ultra-thin one is easy to fall off! 20. Cucumber was lovelorn and cried. Eggplant comforted her: Love is not only sweet, but also intoxicated, heartbroken and tearful. Alas! Who made you fall in love with onions? Yesterday, I dreamed that God said I could have a wish. I took out a globe and said I wanted world peace. He said it was too difficult to change. I took out your photo and said I wanted this person to look good. On reflection, he said that I would take another look at the globe. 22. A woman is too ugly to marry and wants to be trafficked. Finally, my dream came true, but I couldn't sell it for half a month. The kidnapper sent him back, but she insisted on not getting off. The kidnapper gritted his teeth and stamped his feet: Let's go, don't want the car. 23.20 years ago, dad held you waiting for the bus. Everyone laughed at the ugly child, and dad cried. An old man selling bananas patted his father and said, "Don't cry, big brother, give the monkey a banana!" " ! Poor thing, I'm so hungry that I have no hair. "24. On the plane, a parrot said to the stewardess," Give me a glass of water. The pig said to the stewardess like a parrot, "Give me a glass of water." "The stewardess was furious and threw the parrot and pig off the plane. At this time, the parrot said to the pig, "you are so stupid, I can fly." "25. An old farmer is hoeing in the field. A crow flew by and took a shit and landed on the old farmer's face. The old farmer looked up and cursed: "Cao, you mother! I don't know how to wear shorts when I go out! " The crow said, "Cao! You shit and wear underwear! "Section 26. Xiao Ming told his mother that a guest came to play at home today, and my brother put a thumbtack on the guest's chair. I saw it. Mom said, "Then how did you do it? "Xiao Ming said," I stood by, and when the guest wanted to sit down, I took the chair away from behind him. "27. One day on a crowded bus, a conversation went like this: A standing pregnant woman said to a man sitting next to him," Don't you know I'm pregnant? " (I want him to give up his seat ...) I saw the man nervously say, "The child is not mine! 28. Just a gust of wind, but so eternal, just a dream, but so real. You bowed your head and said nothing, but I couldn't calm down. I finally can't help telling you, let me know the next time you fart! 29. A pair of lovers were caught by a savage in the mountains and said that you would let you go if you ate each other's shit. The lover did it. On the way home, the woman cried. The man asked her why, and the woman said sadly, you don't love me, otherwise you won't pull so much! 30. Do you still remember the first military training in the Woods in junior high school? The coach said to the students: Count off in the first row! You looked at the coach in surprise, and the coach said loudly: Count off. So, reluctantly, you turned and hugged the tree! -