The phrase "the water spilled by the married daughter" has been lingering in the mouth of the elders since I can remember. Getting married and having a baby is like a frog jumping out of the bottom of a well, and some problems that were not seen before can be seen clearly.
A week before my cousin got married, my uncle was sitting in the yard complaining with his neighbors: "The new daughter-in-law will be able to go back to her mother's house on the second day of the Lunar New Year, and the rest of the time, including New Year's Eve and New Year's Eve. Therefore, raising children to prevent old age, raising daughters is losing money. " The scorching sun in summer scorched the land under their feet, as if agreeing with their view that "a daughter will not be responsible for family of origin". But on the other side, the husband-in-law who took his daughter away from family of origin also muttered, "No matter how good a daughter-in-law is, she can't be treated as a daughter.".
As a woman, I don't understand how this idea of "splashing water" came down. From when to get married to when to have children, from office workers to full-time housewives ... Women's marriage is more like a kind of prison, and it is a kind of ingratiation to "mother's family" and "in-law's family".
Cousin has always maintained the image of a "good woman": before getting married, she worked part-time to support her family, and a large part of the money she earned also became her cousin's tuition; After getting married, she took care of three meals a day for a family of five, got up the earliest and went to bed the latest, and vividly interpreted the role of China's traditional daughter-in-law. I admire her "professionalism" when I look at her face that is yellow with oil smoke day after day. Last month, my cousin called and said: She is sick and tired. My husband's family wanted to have another grandson, and after two weeks of pregnancy, she miscarried. The doctor said that it was because the uterus was thin, overworked and in poor mental state, and it was necessary to raise the body. Keeping fit in the small confinement, my brother-in-law knew that he was distressed by her and began to take on the responsibility of breakfast so that she could rest a little more. At first, my mother-in-law also said to let her rest more. But a week passed, and her mother-in-law seemed to think that she had a little' peace of mind' and began to run on her intentionally or unintentionally.
Cousin confided: "The other day, my mother-in-law talked to her mother's family on the phone, deliberately putting her on speakerphone and saying,' Your daughter is ill, why don't you care? Don't come to take care of it. I have to be busy, this daughter-in-law is in bed, and outsiders say that this daughter-in-law has a good life! I'm exhausted.' Married daughter poured out of the water. In-laws, she is your family now ...', I was lying in my bedroom, listening to the conversation between the two families outside, and suddenly I felt very embarrassed. "
people are born, but everyone fails to care about each other. I am sandwiched between my husband's family and her mother's family. On the one hand, I am the' water' that has been thrown out, and on the other hand, I am the' daughter-in-law' who has never been sincerely classified as a family member. In the relationship between cold and hot, I was still worried about my cousin's situation, but I found from the gift she sent me last week that my worry seemed redundant.
cousin sent a pot of clivia. She said: I have recently opened my mind and the whole person has become transparent. I used to play the role of a good daughter-in-law, taking care of my husband's family and caring about my mother's family. I never settled down to seriously consider myself and my true self. Now think about it: I am a woman, and I can't escape the problem of marriage. Marriage is filial piety to my parents, and it is the responsibility of my daughter-in-law to take care of her husband's family. Dealing with two families is a problem that any married woman must face. In this relationship, what really deserves her attention is not the "embarrassment" given by the two families, but how to maintain an independent heart in this "embarrassment". Now, even if she is still nagged by her mother-in-law, she will be used as a shield to deal with the relationship between the two families, but she has become accustomed to it. Because I feel that crying is also a day, and laughing is also a day. She chose the latter.
Emotional message: The value of marriage is not enjoyment, but a journey of life. In this long journey, it allows us to see the truth of marriage clearly, so that after ending the fairy-tale vision, we can still keep a mirror-like heart and learn to face those cold and hot days. In the end, these paved a colorful road and decorated our lives.