Nothing in the world is perfect. Read more books. In fact, the best way for people to deal with things is moderation. You can look for books about moderation. If you study below, it is actually rare to be confused and it is a kind of moderate thought. How does "rarely confused" Zheng Banqiao deal with the world? Zheng Banqiao had a wide circle of friends and constantly exchanged letters with relatives and friends. He specially selected sixteen family letters written to his cousin Zheng Mo, compiled them into a collection of works, and placed them at the beginning of the volume. He said that these family letters did not talk about anything, but only dealt with daily household matters. Compared with those Neo-Confucian articles that are "useful when you are free, but not when you are busy", Zheng Banqiao is quite self-admiring. In fact, it is no wonder that in the eyes of outsiders, he is arrogant, unruly, unruly, and behaves strangely. The person in these sixteen letters home is actually a warm and restrained, tolerant, gentle, honest and lovely little old man. Taking off the shell of survival and self-protection, Zheng Banqiao candidly revealed his true self. He claims that he has no confidant and no one knows himself, but who doesn’t long for the understanding and recognition of others in his heart? From the letters home, I saw Banqiao's sincerity and his worldliness. "Always think good things about people" Zheng Banqiao admired Su Dongpo very much, because in Su Dongpo's eyes, there were no bad people in the world. If you look at others as cute, you are also a lovely person; if you look at others as hateful, you are also a hateful person. Zheng Banqiao was particularly disgusted with fake monks and sour scholars, and he never hesitated to laugh at them with harsh words. One year, he stayed in a temple, and the head monk said to him: Yes, but you have to copy several volumes of scriptures for me. Banqiao had no choice but to spread paper and grind ink. After the sutra was copied, the monk saw that his calligraphy was beautiful and asked further: If you write another couplet for me, I will give you a quilt. Banqiao was impatient in his heart, but could not refuse, so he wrote: The phoenix flies under the grass and the birds fly away, and the horse reaches the donkey and no grass grows. He secretly called the snobbish monk a bald donkey. The monk didn't understand the meaning of the couplet, so he framed the couplet and hung it in the Buddhist hall, which made the pilgrims laugh. In fact, Zheng Banqiao likes to associate with monks and Taoists, and there are at least twenty people who have a close relationship with him. He said in his letter to his family: Many monks entered Buddhism because they were in trouble and had no choice. Naturally, there are many who pretend to be heretics. It would be too much to treat them as heretics and hate them deeply. When Banqiao was an official in Weixian County, Shandong Province, he tried the sensational "monk and nun affair case". It turned out that the monk and the nun were a couple before they became monks, but later they encountered changes and escaped into Buddhism. The two were still in love, so they met in private and were caught red-handed. If such immoral things are brought to court, the outcome can be imagined. Zheng Banqiao conducted detailed interrogation and learned the "story behind the news", so he simply fulfilled them and put them on trial immediately: the monks and nuns all returned to secular life, and the affair case was settled with one stroke. To know the evil of others, you must also know the goodness of others. Zheng Banqiao takes this as the criterion for treating others. He warned his cousin that you must love others, and then people will love you. To love others is to love their kindness and their benefits. When Zheng Banqiao went out, he often carried a sack with money or fruit and food in it. When he met the poor and helpless people, he took out his money to help them. When you discover the beauty of other people's skills and words and deeds, give them warm praise. There were once two young scholars who braved the wind and rain to come to Banqiao for advice. Seeing that the two were so poor that they had nothing to eat but were full of passion to talk about the past and the present, Banqiao was greatly moved and stayed with them to have a meal together. Before leaving, he gave them a silver quilt. He empathizes with the scholar's experience. If he had not been appreciated and helped by others, how could he be the Zheng Banqiao he is today. I see how charming Qingshan is, and I don’t expect Qingshan to be like this when seeing me. If you always think good things about people, there will be countless more lovely people in the world. What you do for others is what you do for yourself. Zheng Banqiao has been away from home all year round and has not forgotten to plan for his death. There is a geomantic treasure land in Haojiazhuang near his hometown. Father Zheng wanted to buy it when he was still alive, but there was an isolated grave that had to be dug out. Father Zheng said, "How could you dig someone else's grave to bury your own?" So he didn't buy it. Zheng Banqiao thought, this piece of land has good feng shui and the price is reasonable. If he doesn't buy it, others will buy it. The lonely grave is even more unsafe, so he might as well buy it. So how to deal with the problem of lonely graves? Zheng Banqiao said: If you don't leave it alone, it will have a companion after death. Carve a monument for it so that future generations can burn incense and worship it. As for the worry that solitary graves will bring misfortune to the family, Zheng Banqiao said: This kind of superstition is not trustworthy. Besides, when we treat solitary graves with loyalty, we are accumulating merit, and bad feng shui will turn into good places. Later, Zheng Banqiao wrote to his younger brother: I have no troubles outside and my career is going smoothly, all thanks to the good feng shui of the cemetery at home. This land should belong to everyone. Now it belongs to my family to enjoy the feng shui benefits exclusively. Cheap for villagers. He repeatedly asked: We must know how to be grateful and give back to the elders in our hometown. Zheng Banqiao put forward the "nine-character policy": the Dun clans should live in harmony with each other and cherish their old friends.
He felt sad when he thought that the villagers wore rags all year round, ate rice bran, and regarded vegetable soup and buckwheat pancakes as delicacies. And the friend who was a high-spirited person in his youth is now nowhere to be found and has no food to eat. Zheng Banqiao took a very realistic approach and took out his salary and asked his cousin to distribute it to each household to implement the policy. Zheng Banqiao became an official, had a stable job and salary, and began to consider buying a house and land. In his letter, he designed an open-plan natural villa for himself: two huts, one for guests and one for living room (one bedroom and one living room); three main rooms, two living rooms, and one slave room (four rooms). room and two living rooms). He also plans to buy a piece of land, which will be divided equally between the two brothers. Zheng Banqiao is not greedy for more when he buys property. He said: "If you ask for more, you will be occupying people's property. It is a great sin. There are many landless and unemployed people in the world. Who am I? I am greedy and greedy. What will the poor people do?" !” Banqiao had good intentions and told the current real estate speculators and real estate developers hundreds of years in advance. Zheng Banqiao always thinks about the impact on others when he does something. This is his philosophy of "doing what you do with others is what you do with yourself". Just imagine if you don't care about other people's graves, how can you have the feng shui of your home? Be sensible and be a good person After the death of his wife, Zheng Banqiao lived as a bachelor for some time. He was lonely and bored, so he went out drinking and looking for friends, but his disciples couldn't stand it and said: "Teacher, you are extremely talented, don't ruin your future." Zheng Banqiao said: "What do you know? What I drink is not wine, but loneliness." Same thing. I go my own way. He acts spontaneously, especially in front of friends. There was a businessman Cheng Yuchen who once saw a couplet inscribed by Banqiao in a teahouse and was extremely impressed. When he found out that Zheng Banqiao was in Yangzhou, he made a special trip to visit him and offered him a thousand pieces of silver to wash away his poverty for his idol. Thanks to Boss Cheng's help, Banqiao was able to marry back his concubine. From then on, the two became very close. Boss Cheng, who was close to the water, got the moon first, and often asked Zheng Banqiao for calligraphy and paintings. Banqiao depends on his mood. If he is in a good mood, he will paint; if he is in a bad mood, Boss Cheng will not pay for it. Cheng Yuchen knew his personality and did not dare to force him. Zheng Banqiao advocates nature, nature, and the equality of all living beings, and knows how to respect life. In his eyes, everyone is naked when they take off their clothes. When he hires a domestic helper, he treats each other with the courtesy of host and guest, and does not think that there is any difference between the two parties. When poor relatives and friends come to the door, they first make a large bowl of fried rice and deliver it to their hands. When he encounters a girl with bad luck in the deep lane of Luyang, he wishes he could save her. When a beautiful woman comes out of the mud; when you meet an orphan or a widowed mother, you help her secretly and take care of the dignity of mother and child; your family and children should be treated as if they were your own, and they should be cherished as ordinary people in the world; when you hire a tutor, you must respect the teacher. If you are not satisfied with the contract when it expires, you should Dismissal. He said to his cousin: Educating children is like raising birds in a cage. What is the difference between educating children and reforming them in prison? How does it make sense to discipline children in a way that distorts human nature? Banqiao's expectations for his children were not to seek wealth and prosperity, nor to seek fame and success, nor for high officials and salaries. These were all trivial matters. He said: First, be sensible and be a good person. First, he must be sensible and be a good person. This is also his small request to all sentient beings. What a simple wish, but how beautiful it is.