Yes, that's great. The bright smile covered the wrinkles around her eyes, which made her look particularly beautiful.
one
First into the world. Or the name given by grandma, the first year of grandma's care.
Beeping, the other end of the phone is just a busy signal.
He said that he would never come back this year. Tell her to take good care of his wife and children, Tian Xin, and have a good New Year. However, how can we have a good year without him? What is a good year for Tian Xin without her husband? Not to mention that she is a little old lady without a son, that is, ... Thinking of this, she dialed the phone number that she just called, beeping and ringing. Once, very busy, twice, very busy, and three times still very busy.
Alas, it's much colder this year.
This is the only canteen in the village with a telephone, and there is a faint light hanging outside the eaves. You can vaguely see an old man wearing a green cloth and linen with a slight sigh, covered with a tattered cloak, and strands of white silk looming in the dim light. One turned into a downpour.
The rain lasted only one day. It stopped the next morning and built a lot of dirt roads in the afternoon. Tian Xin started to move a small stool to sit outside the eaves from the beginning of 12, and looked at the straight road paved with stones with expectant eyes for a while. That road is very narrow and can only accommodate one tricycle. I still remember her happiest year, when her husband rode a tricycle from that road to her direction. The car was loaded with half a car full of fish, which her husband picked up by the river.
She was always thinking about it, so she cried. The old lady didn't tell her daughter-in-law that her son wouldn't come back for the Spring Festival, and Tian Xin was still waiting. On the fifteenth day, I heard that Wang Er, the daughter-in-law of the Wangs across the river, came back and brought many new year's goods from other places. By the time I was twenty years old, my neighbor, Brother Zhu, also came back with many foreign products. In fact, Tian Xin didn't want him to bring back anything precious and strange. He just wants him to come back for a reunion year and give the baby a name. This is what she needs.
The old lady looked at Tian Xin's loss and felt uncomfortable, so she called the canteen every day. Walking on a muddy path, people can't walk well with half a hundred legs and feet, but they still insist on walking every day. That day, she wanted to say that Tian Xin's baby was about to be born, and wanted him to change his mind and come back to see their mother and son. She is just very busy, very busy, forgetting what he said last year, and she will definitely come back for the New Year.
The 26th finally arrived. During the day, daughter-in-law Tian Xin is still fine. In the middle of the night, she screamed that she had a stomachache and that her amniotic fluid was broken, which made the old lady too anxious. On the other side of the river, Wang's daughter-in-law groped for the dark road in the middle of the night and caught up. Neighbor Mrs. Zhu also came, busy boiling water and preparing scissors. When the old lady looked out, it was snowing fluffy outside. It snowed strangely, falling like a fairy in a cold house.
19931February 27th, at two o'clock in the morning, I heard a baby crying in the room. Tian Xin's baby was born, and it went smoothly. The old lady held the newborn baby, uncovered the wrapped cloth, squinted and smiled, and said happily, "My granddaughter, granddaughter. Hehehehe. "
The snow stopped at dawn and a red ball appeared in the east. The sunrise came, shining brilliantly on a rubble house. The old lady killed an old hen that had been raised for several years and put it in a pot to stew soup. When she showed it to her daughter-in-law, she saw the sunrise in the east, which was colorful. I happily ran to my daughter-in-law's room and told her the idea of naming the child. Therefore, the child was named Leng. The moral is, bleak redemption. Yesterday was cold and cheerless, but today is lively. Just like that snow, it cleared up the next day.
In a few days, the Chinese New Year will be celebrated. This year, because of the birth of snow, the color has increased a little. The old lady holds her granddaughter and looks at her facial features, just like her son. Two big eyes and black eyes, full of hope for everything. The child blinked at the old lady and giggled, as if the laughter had spread thousands of miles away.
two
Youth. She said that she saw a bright red dress full of happiness. It was the most beautiful year.
It's1February, and it's snowing more than a month before the Spring Festival. Xueya is six years old and has grown into a girl. She stood outside the house with her head held high and her arms open, as if to embrace the earth and enjoy the virtual temperature of the snow elf. Grandma was busy collecting firewood under the eaves and turned to see Xueya's little head with two braids, much like Nezha in the Heavenly Palace.
Snow Girl suddenly turned her little head and moved her curious mouth, and asked, "Grandma, why is the snow shaped like wild flowers on the ridge?" Why did it fall into my hands and disappear? Why is it snowing now? "
Grandma doesn't know that much, so just talk about her own ideas. "Because our snow girl is a wild flower on the ridge, it's not surprising but beautiful. The snow fell on your hand and disappeared. It is naughty to play hide-and-seek with you. Cher was born in such snowflakes, so it began to snow every day you were born. "
Hearing this, Xueya's two big eyes blinked in surprise. Is that so? That's what it looks like So I kept nodding my head and looked at my grandmother devoutly, thinking that my grandmother was really a learned grandmother. In this absence, I seem to hear the voice of my neighbor, Miss Yang. Back to god, the neighbor really waved to her outside the eaves. This time, everything was completely forgotten, and even grandma said that she would meet someone in the future. Grandma watched the figure of Snow Girl disappear in a burst of skipping. I lost my voice and cried, "Girl, where are you going? Be careful that the snow slips on the road. "
She doesn't care about this, she just runs to that path. She replied that she would tell Sister Zhu Yang many answers about snow. She is going to play hide-and-seek with Xiao Yang's sister and find the snow elf hidden in their hands.
One day passed, Xueyan looked for hidden snow everywhere, but she couldn't find it for a long time. Come home at night, bored and don't talk. After eating, I climbed into bed and fell asleep soon.
In the morning, chickens crow. Grandma gets up early. It was a sunny day, and the snow gradually melted under the sunlight. Grandma is busy cooking and washing clothes. My hands were soaked in ice water and red with cold. At noon, Cher got up. Still boring, saying nothing. Grandma cooked a meal and ate it in a hurry. Grandma told her that she shouldn't just sit outside with a small stool. There are Wukesong trees outside the house, with lush foliage and dripping meltwater. Her eyes were fixed on the end of the path, and she lost her mind.
Grandma looked at her silence and must be thinking about them again. The year after she was born, her father came back to see her once. When he happily held her in his arms, she cried, but when someone else had a father, he still wondered what his father was like. When I was three years old, my mother went out with my father and hasn't come back to see her yet. Grandma knew that Cher was going to school in the New Year and her family was not rich, so she had to save money for her to go to school.
Xueyan vaguely heard a sob behind her, turned around and saw two lines of river-like tears hanging on grandma's face. Grandma saw that she was crying, too, and immediately wiped away the tears on her face. Her voice sounds a little hoarse. She said, "Girl, go ahead. Let's call them. "
Cher nodded on the surface, but the secret in her heart hurt her a little. She knows that Uncle Zhu from Xiao Yang's sister's house will come back every year and buy many things she has never seen before. And grandma has been working hard, so she understands, even if she is only six years old.
Another month, and in a few days, it will be the New Year. Grandma cooked salted fish and bacon at home and set the table. Cher just came back from playing outside, still dressed in a plain clothes without flowers, looking a little lost. But when she saw grandma, she smiled. Grandma actually saw Cher's unhappy expression, but that's all. She was spared. While eating, grandma sneaked into the room and took out a bright red dress. She actually knows the reason why she is in a bad mood. Zhu Yang came to see her that day and asked her if she had bought new clothes. Cher just went out to play. She thought for a long time alone in the room, thinking about the wedding dress she wore in those years, so she changed it and planned to surprise her schoolmate.
Xueyan looked at this red dress and couldn't help crying. Looking at the red dress, she saw happiness in an instant. This year is a bit special, adding a big red to her happiness, a very beautiful big red.
Cher cocked her head and looked at grandma's face. Somehow she felt so beautiful.
three
In fact, she knows. Every time, she will silently say in her heart, "Please forgive my willfulness, because I just want to keep my respect for you as always."
Big, has grown up. When you are old, you can speak recklessly regardless of your grandmother's feelings? Cher is no longer the child who always revolves around grandma. I didn't see grandma crying, but ran to hug her and said a lot of comforting words. I no longer think grandma is the most learned person in the world.
She hates grandma, grandma's making things up, grandma's nagging, the story of snow, the color and temperature of snow, and even more, grandma stands in the snow, so that she can't tell where grandma's hair is and where it should snow when she is old. Grandma, let her hate, also let her love dearly.
In 2005, Cher was twelve years old and very tall. Her face is pretty, too. Everyone in the village says she should be from the city. She is naturally happy, and has never found the trance-like expression on her face after hearing it. In 2005, grandma will be old, very old. It is said that when people get old, their eyes become more and more useless, and most of them are blind. Unfortunately, Grandma Cha became one of them.
She doesn't know why grandma's eyes are blind, but she thinks that the New Year is a disaster. I hate Chinese New Year, and I hate grandma getting old after Chinese New Year. This is invisible to the naked eye. I don't know what will be useless next year or later. This kind of mood is very complicated. Maybe mom and dad will come back during the Spring Festival, just maybe. But grandma must be one year older.
Everyone knows that grandma is blind. When Cher was twelve, grandma went blind. Her eyes were covered with white gauze. Cher didn't know what it was, so she asked, Why is Grandma blind? Grandma always said that happiness can only be seen because of grandma. Because grandma has seen enough, God won't let her see it. Every time she hears this, she always asks in a false and trusting voice, doesn't she? After that, I will run to the room and cry alone, saying to myself, because it's the New Year, because it's the New Year.
Grandma can't see anything, and naturally she can't take Cher to her hometown to go to school. Grandma, desperate for disappointment, also called the distance and asked her son to pick up Cher. She didn't say to pick herself up, only said to pick up Cher. She plans to spend her old age at her daughter's house.
She didn't tell Cher, and she naturally knew she wouldn't. 1February 27th is Cher's birthday. Surprisingly, it is another snow flying all over the sky. Grandma couldn't see Cher, so she moved a stool and sat in the corridor under the eaves, listening to the children laughing and playing for her birthday. Her voice was full of innocence and satisfaction, and it sounded as if she was going to sleep. Thinking back to twelve years ago, the baby's crying was as warm as ever.
On New Year's Eve, mom and dad came home suddenly, which surprised Cher. But when mom and dad came straight to the point and said they would take her to work, she stood there and looked back at her grandmother. Grandma looked calm and unprepared, ran into the room and left with a bamboo board. Tears flowed out at this moment, many, many.
From then on, she ran away when she saw grandma, and she didn't listen to her. She felt that her favorite grandmother would betray her like this. Her image in her mind changed and she didn't know her. But how to resist, such as talking and cursing, can't change the fact that she follows her parents. After the New Year, she left. I got on Murakami's car and didn't say goodbye to my grandmother. Carrying grandma's lonely figure, her tears slipped quietly in the corner of her eyes. Sitting in the car and walking for a long time, she still saw her grandmother standing there, staring at the place where she was far away.
It seems that she suddenly remembered what her grandmother said to her six years ago. "Snow girl should study hard and be admitted to the university in the future to be a useful person. So you won't work as hard as grandma and parents. " She remembers it very clearly, really clearly. She will study hard and cure grandma's eyes.
She began to regret whether she was angry or not in her last time with her grandmother. She knew in her heart that she didn't even want grandma's great position in her mind to finally disappear. She is so headstrong that she just wants to keep it. Here, she can only say in her heart over and over again: "Grandma, I'm sorry."
At this time, a bird flew in the sky, and it was flying to a very distant place. Cher's head sticks out of the window, looks up and smiles. She will come back one day. Grandma also looked up, as if she saw a bird, heard Cher's cry and said she would wait for her to come back.
four
As an adult, I have never seen the Chinese New Year. Grandma, can you see happiness?
This is a visit with no return. When Xueer and her parents boarded the train from Shanghai to Sichuan, it was destined to be a home without a purpose. This is the saddest year, starting with a long-lost phone call at 2 am on 20 1 1 year 1 month 28th. This year, Cher did not choose to go back to visit her grandmother, which eventually became an unforgivable mistake in life.
Leng Qingxue, how can you forget what you said when you left? You will definitely come back to cure grandma's eyes. Grandma, how could you forget to say that you must wait for Cher to come back? Grandma, how can you wait for Cher? Grandma said something, and she seemed to say, how can you ... If you want to see Cher go to college and have a successful career, stay away from her?
It's a long way home, and Cher's heart drifted away with her thoughts. That year, when she fell to the ground, she cried, and saw her grandmother quietly wipe a sweat and see that bright red new dress full of happiness. When she recited the text, grandma stayed with her day and night until she knew how to recite it. Finally, I saw the lonely, helpless and stubborn figure standing by the bridge, looking at the place where the car was far away for a long time. All this warmth was given by an old man named Lengzeng. She still remembers that when she first learned to write, she asked her grandmother that Cher's name was Leng Qingxue. Where's her grandmother? Grandma said with a smile, grandma's name is Lengzeng. I didn't understand at first, but now I understand. Grandma has been a cold family all her life, so even her surname has changed.
This road seems endless. She doesn't know where grandma will wait for her on the way. Every moment, she dare not close her eyes, because as long as she closes her eyes, grandma is far away and she can't catch up. When I close my eyes, my grandmother is lonely.
The bumps all the way reminded her of grandma's kindness. What is her hard work? She lived for eighteen years and her grandmother loved her for eighteen years. It will be the same in the future.
She felt heartless. But if my heart is numb with pain after hearing the news of my death, if my heart is numb, where should I look?
This is a sad year to the bone, as if there were no cheers and all the complaints. The color of snow seems to be getting darker and colder. Cher can't cry or laugh, just like a wooden head. It's 1 February 27th, and in the early morning of the 30th of the lunar calendar1month, Cher knelt in front of her grandmother's body and didn't speak for a long time. Just watch, don't cry sadly. Grandma's face is peaceful and her eyes are easy to close. Cher watched, thinking about asking her why she couldn't see her eyes. Grandma said that she saw happiness because of Cher, and because she saw too much, God didn't want to show it to her anymore. So, does grandma know why Cher can still see happiness after reading it? Because of Cher, I haven't finished reading Grandma's Happiness, because Grandma's Happiness is not enough.
Grandma, I finally know why you are blind. I remember that every night, a faint oil lamp in the center of the room still makes your outline bright and clear, just like painting. You mended countless clothes for me to keep me warm, but you bought them with the light of life.
You once said that you love this nature, you love the arc of the blue sky where birds fly, you love the fragrance of wheat and millet, but you can't see the green and endless blue sky anymore.
The birth of children and the existence of old people must be like this: the children are getting bigger and bigger, but the old people are getting bigger and bigger. Year after year, year after year. It is equivalent to the age of the child being arrived by the grandmother, and the age of the grandmother is increased by the child.
On this day, grandma was buried. She witnessed the process of grandma's eternal silence on the loess, and her heart ached a little, but only in this way can grandma get eternal life. Cher knelt in front of grandma's new grave, knocked on countless heads and shed countless tears. Also said countless times in my mind, asked countless times:
Did you come to see me at my window when you left?
Have you ever seen heaven?
You must go to heaven. Be a shining night star and light my way.
I know, you can only go to heaven. Because you are the best person.
Best wishes to you. Be sure, no matter what, to smile.
postscript
This is, I wrote it to you. I don't want to, those memories are all deposited in the water. I want to write it down and write a novel for my good grandmother. Just for you, my grandma.
I will always remember that it snowed heavily on the day you left. I should have felt something. I couldn't sleep the night before. Of course, 20 ××××, 65438+1October 28th, at 5: 00 am, is your departure number. DuDu, DuDu, it rang for a long time. Dad said to dad, mom went. I don't understand. Where have you been? It was dad's sobbing. For a long time, it was unique The phone hung up, dad was busy buying train tickets, and I was lying in bed, looking at the ceiling, wondering what that smell was.
20××, 65438+1October 28th, oh, it's the day of Chinese New Year.
What you can't understand is that I have two grandmothers who have been gone for half a month.
It seems that after centuries, I asked my mother about the interesting things about our childhood, and my eyes got wet when I listened. There is a picture of an old man carrying a backpack with a girl with horns and braids standing in it. The old man stood by the wheat field and chatted with another mother-in-law who was weeding in the wheat field. The girl looked bored, so she shook her backpack and walked around inside, saying, Grandma, let's go. Facing the girl's willfulness, the old man smiled and walked forward. The front is green and the wheat is so prosperous.