You and your husband are both filial and kind, which is a good thing, but if you go too far, it is not a good thing, so you feel very tired. As the saying goes: A good man will be bullied by others, and a good horse will be ridden by others. Maybe this statement is inappropriate here, but life experience tells us that this is the case. So, if you want to get rid of this situation, the best solution is that you must stop in moderation. Of course, this does not mean that you will not be filial to your parents and ignore your brother-in-law who is in college, but you should have a specific plan. You don’t have to pay for all the school expenses. You can either agree on a fixed amount every month, or you can help when your parents are really embarrassed and can’t afford it. As for my 18-year-old sister, there is no need to care about her so much. She has healthy hands and feet. Why should she live like a parasite? There is no need for you to satisfy her life like a parasite. . As for her making irresponsible remarks to her family, let her go. You don’t need to pay attention to it. As long as you do what you should do, if you want to care about other people’s thoughts and opinions, , you will live very tiredly, and in the end you may be physically and mentally exhausted, scarred, and you will not get recognition and gratitude from others.
Now, perhaps it is important that both you and your husband realize what I am saying and then act on it. However, this is just a summary of my personal life experience. As for where you should go, it is up to you.