"Can you wash the dishes? Don't count on me for everything. I'm exhausted. Who will serve you? "
"You don't make money, cooking is not good, health is so bad. What do you need? "
"M gone, didn't you see? Blind! Why not buy it in time? "
……
These quarrels often occur in the kitchen of every household.
A small kitchen, ranging from ten square meters to five or six square meters, is the most basic level and ensures the cornerstone of marriage.
In other words, the wind and water related to the happiness of marriage are hidden in the kitchen of every household.
0 1, nanny kitchen.
"My kitchen is my own home, but there are five people sitting on the dining table with their mouths open and their clothes stretched." It is the helplessness of housewife Wang Li (a pseudonym).
Wang Li introduced that her marriage mode is a typical mode in which men are superior to women.
Her husband has a good job and a high income. Soon after marriage, my in-laws became ill. In addition, she has given birth to two children in a row and has to quit the workplace and return to her family.
However, she also admitted that leaving the workplace and having a second child were the two most wrong choices in her life.
Because of these two things, her marriage was directly forced into a "nanny marriage."
For a family of six, it's Wang Li's job to update seasonal clothes, clean socks and underwear, cultivate children's habits, and socialize for weddings and funerals.
Catch up with the sick old people and children, she is more like an ant on hot bricks, running around in schools, hospitals and families, with three heads and six arms.
However, in the six years of marriage, she always lived like a nanny who could be called at any time, and this conclusion was confirmed again and again in her kitchen!
In Wang Lijia, it is unfilial to let old people into the kitchen.
It is thoughtless to let her husband into the kitchen;
It is irresponsible to let children into the kitchen. ...
In a word, Wang Li is responsible for the daily necessities of a family of three, and there should be no complaints.
Wang Li recalled that in the second month, her mother-in-law not only didn't take care of herself, but also often listened to the doctor's advice that "mother should exercise properly" and let Wang Li do everything herself, saying that her figure recovered quickly and she didn't have to lose weight deliberately.
Because there was not enough milk, Wang Li bought crucian carp soup to drink, but her mother-in-law said she couldn't smell the fishy smell, so she quarreled with Wang Li. Finally, she said, "You are in our house, eating my food, drinking my food, living with me, and even making me angry. My heart is really vicious. "
Wang Li still remembers that in the past six years, apart from the heavy housework and child-rearing work, there was always not enough time to cook by herself, and even less was done. She was sarcastically "shabby" by her in-laws and husband, and she cooked too much, so she had to eat the last meal by herself.
On another occasion, when her husband was late from work, Wang Li took two children to cook for her husband, holding the crying second child in one hand and frying the dishes in the pot in the other. Her thigh was still held by the second child, and the food was served. Because it was not to her husband's taste and because her husband was angry outside, she swept the food on the table to the ground at once.
The child cried, and the husband kept cursing: "You don't do anything every day, you don't earn a penny, and you can't even cook well. What can you do besides eating? "
Wang Li remembers that one year, her mother was ill and hospitalized. Because her home was close to the hospital, her mother wanted to drink millet porridge, so Wang Li cooked porridge for her mother at home.
When the in-laws saw it, they immediately pulled down their faces. The husband even bluntly said, "There is a canteen in the hospital and a restaurant outside. Just buy millet porridge for mom. The kitchen at home is for my own use. Is the lunch box you sent to the hospital and sent home dirty? "
……
Repeated injuries made Wang Li realize that if she didn't make money, she would be a nanny in that family for life.
Finally, after her youngest son entered the park, she began to go out to work, but middle-aged women with low education, family and no skills had little choice.
Finally, she chose a housekeeping company.
She learned that cooking three meals a day for a family of five earns no less than 3,000 yuan a month;
A family with two children, the monthly income will not be less than 4000 yuan;
Help a family clean every day, with a monthly income of not less than 3000 yuan;
Take care of two elderly people, with a monthly income of not less than 2,000 yuan;
The monthly income of picking up and dropping off children is not less than 2000 yuan. ...
That is to say, in six years of marriage, she didn't get a free meal, but gave up the opportunity to serve a family with a monthly salary of more than 10 thousand yuan, and she was always treated like a nanny.
Finally, after working for one year, in the case that her parents-in-law and her husband were all xenophobic and once again kicked her out of the house, she filed for divorce and asked her husband to pay all the expenses she had paid in the past six years of 6.5438+0.8 million yuan.
The husband was blindsided at once, but Wang Li made up her mind.
Wang Li's kitchen is full of grievances and tears from Wang Li, as well as her in-laws and husband.
Pride and disdain, such a marriage, where does happiness come from?
02, AA kitchen.
"Our marriage died from the excessive pursuit of equality and calculation. You can see it from our kitchen. " It is the reflection of Li Ling (pseudonym), a working woman, on her failed marriage.
Li Ling said that shortly after she got married, she found that her husband's mouth-to-mouth and clothes opponents' bad habits remained unchanged.
But her education is higher than her husband's and her salary is richer than her husband's. Why should she be an "dissatisfied woman" who is responsible for her family career and the elderly and children?
In order to punish her husband, she made the AA principle that they lived in every detail.
Personal clothes should be cleaned separately;
She is responsible for wiping the table and sweeping the floor, and her husband is responsible for sweeping the floor;
She is responsible for helping the children with their homework, and her husband is responsible for sending the children to school. ...
A finer division of labor, in the marriage kitchen.
The husband is responsible for buying food and cooking, washing dishes and maintaining hygiene, and Li Ling is responsible.
But even with such a clear division of labor, the conflict between the two has never been broken.
Li Ling accused her husband of purchasing ingredients, only caring about his own likes and dislikes, and cooking is also his favorite taste.
Children get angry when they eat spicy food. Li Ling has a light taste, but it's selfish of her husband not to eat spicy food when cooking.
The husband accused Director Li Ling of being rough, the floor was not clean, and he often didn't clean the sink. In summer, the smell is strong, the items are not placed neatly, and the dishes and chopsticks are greasy and difficult to use. This is really sloppy and irresponsible.
Once, when her husband came home and found that there was no food to cook, Li Ling only ordered takeout for himself and his children. Her husband suddenly felt very cold and asked Li Ling why he was so cold. Li Ling retorted, "It was your own failure to fulfill your responsibilities that led to a family without food. How can you make a fuss? "
Li Ling also wronged to recall that once she was picking up fish, she was accidentally stabbed by a fishbone, which was very deep and bleeding, and it was very painful. Unexpectedly, her husband found her a pair of gloves and motioned for her to continue. When she cried about her husband's ruthlessness, he replied, "Only by doing their work well can we proceed in an orderly way."
The two men had a fierce quarrel and went on strike separately. There was no fire at home for a month, and mung bean sprouts were raised in the pool.
After a long time, the fireworks at home disappeared and the feelings faded. The dissolution of marriage seems to be between the next meal.
03, mutual kitchen.
"As long as the two of us are at home, there will never be only one person in the kitchen." It is the pride of Xiaoyang (a pseudonym) in marriage.
Xiaoyang admits that she and her husband don't like eating out, because it's expensive and because the quality and hygiene of the ingredients can't be guaranteed.
They belong to flash marriage, and their love after marriage is all discussed in the kitchen.
She often washes and cuts vegetables, and her husband cooks and washes dishes together after dinner.
If she doesn't feel well for a few days, her husband will give her a holiday a few days ago, so she can talk casually.
Later, when the child was born, one person was often busy in the kitchen, and another person stood at the door with the child in his arms and chatted.
Later, when the child grew up, he became a frequent visitor to the kitchen. They always help when choosing dishes and jiaozi, which is another kind of fun.
In terms of eating habits, the husband gave up the habit of emphasizing taste in order to take care of the health of his wife and children;
For her husband's liking, Xiaoyang stipulates that there must be peppers on the dinner table every Monday, Wednesday and Friday;
Because Xiao Yang said that "the meat stuffing made by himself is more fragrant", her husband will not buy ready-made dumpling stuffing, but will chop it himself;
Because her husband has the habit of eating hot meals and fast food, which seriously affects his health, Xiaoyang and her husband agreed that after the meal is ready, they can eat it half an hour later and are not allowed to finish it within half an hour;
The news they got was that they should leave the fresh and expensive shrimp to their son to supplement their nutrition;
Will also stir-fry vegetables into pulp to take care of the dietary requirements of the elderly living together. ...
In short, the small kitchen is often the place where their family has the most fun and gains more.
As the saying goes, people are iron, rice is steel, and they are hungry without eating a meal. This shows that the kitchen where cooking is done is really related to people's life and marriage.
That is to say:
If your marriage is not guaranteed by daily necessities, talking about happiness is simply an idiotic dream;
If there are no pots and pans in marriage, you must do the opposite if you want to be happy;
If your marriage is deeply involved in the problem of "disagreement" and you want to be happy, it must be wishful thinking.
So, if you want a happy marriage, please start with the harmony in the kitchen.
I hope the above words can encourage my readers.
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