I am very happy to answer this question. I did not only have one daughter as you said, but I have two daughters. From the perspective of continuing the incense, one daughter and two daughters are the same. When your daughter's next generation comes, your family tree will no longer be recorded. The line that started branching from you will be discontinued from now on. Therefore, people say that only by giving birth to a boy can the incense be continued, which still makes sense.
I think that if you only give birth to one daughter, you will gradually lose your incest, but you will not be extinct.
Nowadays, boys and girls are the same, but for rural people like me, having a son is the expectation of the family, because I am the only son in the family, and also because I need to continue the family line. Before the child was born, I saw that all my friends around me had sons, and I really wanted a son.
However, if you want a son, you may not be able to give birth to a son. As a result, my wife actually gave birth to two daughters. I once experienced a very complicated ideological struggle, but now I have put it aside and can't bear it. It doesn't matter anymore. Then some people will refute it. Daughters will also inherit the bloodline of their parents. How can they say it's over? In fact, it is good to have a daughter, but we must also look at the issue of inheriting the incense objectively.
Incense is actually the patrilineal society of our Chinese people. If you give birth to a son, you will have incense, but if you give birth to a daughter, there will be no incense. Why? Because in ancient times, inheriting incense, inheriting family property, hosting sacrificial activities, etc. all needed to be completed by men, but women did not have such rights.
Giving birth to a daughter does not cut off the incense. The essential meaning of the incense is that later generations miss their ancestors and respect them. Its purpose is to prevent future generations from forgetting our sages and ancestors. The ancestors are used to commemorate our predecessors.
Why is it said that a daughter cannot inherit the incense and is said to be a dead child?
When my daughter grows up, she will definitely get married. As the saying goes, "A married daughter is like water thrown out." Once a daughter is married, she becomes a member of her husband's family. The children she has with her husband will also take her husband's surname, inherit her husband's bloodline, and continue the bloodline of their family. , and for the daughter's father, the relationship only exists as a grandfather. After all, it cannot continue like a "grandfather and grandson".
Therefore, the children born to a daughter are the blood of her husband's family, inherit the surname of her husband's family, and at the same time continue the incense of her husband's family.
The reason for ending the relationship is not because of the daughter we gave birth to, but whether the daughter we gave birth to will remember her family and her ancestors in the distant future. If they don’t forget If you are grateful to your ancestors for their efforts for the family, then their family's incense will not be cut off.
However, after giving birth to a daughter, the incense in her own family will gradually be cut off in the future. This is because when her parents are old, the daughter's children will not be able to continue the incense for their grandparents or even their predecessors. Even her grandparents will eventually be gradually forgotten by her generation. From now on, their children will have no concept of their predecessors.
Even so, it does not mean that it will be bad just because you gave birth to a daughter. The incest and the marriage will all come later. As long as the daughter lives a healthy life, she will be his offspring. And her children will also have her own blood in the future.
Therefore, although the daughter will no longer be incestuous in the future, it is all illusory after all. Now it is the same for boys and girls. As long as it is your own child, it can be anything. There is no need to distinguish between words. Let’s live life, let’s talk about what will happen a hundred years from now, or even longer, who can predict?
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Regarding incense, I would like to ask you a few questions.
What are your grandparents’ names? Where do you live? When is your birthday? What have you done?
Where is your great-great-grandfather?
Where is your great-grandpa?
Where is your great-great-grandfather?
Can’t answer the question?
You don’t even remember your grandpa Zeng’s name? How can you be sure that your great-grandson will remember your name?
Is a person named Li willing to recognize Li Shimin as his ancestor? Or would you like to recognize Li San, a farmer, as your ancestor?
Would a person named Zhao be willing to recognize Zhao Kuangyin as his ancestor? Or are you willing to recognize the beggar Zhao Si as your ancestor?
Would a person named Liu be willing to recognize Liu Che, Emperor Wu of the Han Dynasty, as his ancestor? Or are you willing to recognize Liu Wu as your ancestor?
There is no doubt that everyone is willing to recognize a talented person as their ancestor, and will not recognize an incompetent person as their ancestor.
If your grandson immigrated to the United States, he would not be able to speak complete Chinese and would only speak ABCD. He would believe that he was an American when he was born and an American ghost when he died.
Do you still recognize him as your queen?
Does he still recognize you as his first?
Do you remember your wife’s birthday? You know what she likes to eat, right?
Do you remember how old your daughter is? Does she love ice cream or lace dresses, you know?
Their happiness, anger, sorrow and joy are closely related to you, right?
Once you close your eyes, everything in this world has nothing to do with you. No matter you are poor or rich, you can take nothing with you. Do you still care about the incense? Just live the present moment.
Even if someone gives birth to a daughter, in a family that values ??boys over girls, it feels like they have lost their role. Everyone should also speak less about their family’s uniqueness.
In a family of daughters, some people also take good care of their elderly parents.
If a woman is famous, even after thousands of years, someone will remember her, such as Wu Zetian of the Tang Dynasty. He also served as emperor for many years.
Ordinary people should take care of one generation, or in other words, take care of the next generation. If you have a daughter, your grandson or granddaughter will remember you when you are a grandma.
Death is like a lamp going out. If you give birth to a daughter, there is nothing you can do even if you cut off the incense.
There are so many perfect families in the world, with both sons and daughters.
Nowadays, some people who have given birth to sons want to have another child, but they are worried that it will be a son again. I am afraid that the burden will be too heavy in the future. I have a headache just thinking about raising my two sons, providing them with education, buying them a car and a house, preparing a wedding room for them, and helping them raise their children. Parents who think this way will not have a second child in order to save themselves.
In China today, there are tens of millions more men than women. Some people are single all their lives and there is nothing to talk about.
Some people analyze that the main reason why there are tens of millions more men than women is that during family planning, some women in families will keep the ultrasound if it is a boy. If it's a girl, get rid of it. Later, there were more men than women.
Many of those married men have offspring who are also daughters, regardless of whether they have one, two or three daughters. If you tell people: There is no boy in your family and you are no longer a good person, they will definitely not like to hear it.
So we must remember Chairman Mao’s words: "Era have changed, men and women are the same. Whatever gay men can do, lesbians can also do."
Even if there are some men There are many things that women cannot do that they can do. Then we must also respect them. Because women work hard and suffer a lot for the next generation. It is said that it is not easy to conceive in ten months. Without a woman, there will be no offspring.
In addition to having children, many women also have to do housework and go to work. They have made great contributions to their families and society.
Please don’t talk about the topic of having only one daughter and ending your relationship.
Absolutely not, if you think so, the child of a daughter must be his biological child, must be his biological grandchild, and must have your blood, but the son's child may not be his biological child. It's not, but if you think it is, and you don't have another one, that's really the end of the world. Therefore, a daughter will never be a child, but a son may be a child.
The so-called "incense" is a bad habit left over from feudal society. It is deeply ingrained in rural areas, and this idea still exists in rural areas today.
Most of the rural areas are survived by clans. The ancestors of a village are either a branch or several brothers who reproduce. The father begets sons, the sons beget grandchildren, and the grandchildren beget great-grandchildren. They are passed down from generation to generation. Their ancestors are originally brothers. After generations of reproduction, they become like a family. Like an ancient tree, branches sprout from the outside. It has been passed down for several generations. Originally they grew from the same root. Later, no one recognized their ancestors and everyone took care of their own families. If it is passed down that a certain family has no sons, and there are no sons in that family, there was a remedy in the past, which was to adopt a son from one of the brothers and give it to the family without sons, in order to continue the incense.
Two situations will also arise. If both brothers have daughters, then there will be no adoption and the family will be cut off. There is also a situation where two brothers have only one only son, and it is difficult to adopt the child. Or if the two brothers have not reached the understanding of marriage and are unwilling to adopt the child, then the other family will also lose their relationship.
In rural areas, a family that only has daughters or is infertile cannot hold its head high in the village. If you don't say it to your face, there will be gossips behind your back, and a certain family will never succeed. If there is a conflict or quarrel with the villagers, you scold me, I scold you, until the last scolding, some unreasonable people will come up with a powerful "stopper", "You will have no children or grandchildren. Why are you trying to show off your authority here?" This scolding made the man who had no son speechless. When he got home, there was a grudge between husband and wife. It was because we failed to live up to our destiny and failed to create a son. Being exposed and pricked where it hurts.
Based on this situation, in rural areas, before family planning was implemented, even though the family was extremely poor, they continued to have children, one son after another. Even during the family planning period, some families ignored the heavy fines and violated the family planning policy. No matter how poor they were, they still had to give birth to a son to continue their family life.
In rural areas, there is another phenomenon: a family with more sons will be more powerful. Parents go out feeling proud, as if all their sons are promising. Those families who don’t have sons don’t dare to provoke families who have a group of sons. If there is a dispute, they have to bow their heads and give in. Otherwise, if they say you have a son if you have the ability, it will hurt your heart to hear this. go.
Having daughters but not sons, or having no children, is a normal fertility phenomenon. Some people only give birth to daughters, some people only give birth to sons, some give birth to boys and girls with a reasonable mix, and some are infertile. The family's misfortune and luck are not matched by it. It is a completely normal social phenomenon and there is no need to make a fuss about it, let alone it will never happen again. Humans are just a species in nature, and they are all passers-by in nature. Life and death are passed down from generation to generation in a cycle, which means that humans will never be extinct on the earth.
Besides, if every family gives birth to boys to continue the incense, but no daughters, then where does the incense in your family come from, and the incense in your family will also cease.
Society as a whole pursues a balance between men and women. It is abnormal to have more men than women, or more women than men. Only when the ratio of men to women is relatively balanced can society develop harmoniously.
The incense must have been cut off. What is incense? It means that after your death, on festivals such as Qingming Festival and Zhongyuan Festival, someone will come to visit your tomb and offer sacrifices to you to express your grief and remember yours and your children. day.
Once you give birth to a daughter, she may come back to offer incense after her parents die, but it may not last long.
Because the daughter’s husband’s family also needs to offer incense. If it is inconvenient to offer sacrifices, they may rarely offer incense.
Even if she could come in this generation, it would be difficult to count on her daughter’s children.
Even if the nephew can come, it will gradually become impossible to have him again.
Daughters cannot be included in the family tree. In fact, without a son, the incense has been cut off.
However, there are remedies.
The first is to recruit a son-in-law, and the second is to have a daughter give birth to more than two children, and adopt one of them. Even if the adoptive child is a girl, it will be fine. The adopted granddaughter can continue to take care of these two children. The plan continues until a male appears in the family.
Of course, this is considered a no-op solution.
Because no one can guarantee that every generation will give birth to a boy.
If you take good care of your own generation, the most you can do is watch your children work hard and help them bring up the next generation? All incense is nonsense, especially as the years go by and young people become more open-minded. Who will think about you and pay homage to you all day long? Some even don’t know what their grandparents are called. Don’t be ignorant. When you are alive, your happiness is stronger than anything else. When you die, you don’t need others to pay tribute and pass on your legacy.
This statement is not entirely correct. Yes, having a daughter means that your bloodline is passed on. Many people believe that if a daughter marries someone, there will be no male names on the family tree from now on, and she will be regarded as a descendant. There is no problem with this, but a daughter After marrying a man, part of the blood flowing in their children comes from their mother. Therefore, theoretically speaking, they are not extinct. Instead, they inherit the blood as their daughters marry elsewhere.
In fact, after death, a person knows nothing and cannot see anything. Even if he has millions of descendants, he is still a pile of bones. Therefore, it is most important for a person to live well in the present moment. Why bother to live in the present? Thinking about things after death is actually unnecessary.
The development of human nations has its own natural laws. Some people die, and some have descendants. This is related to fate and Feng Shui. Of course, some people may say it is superstitious, but it does exist in reality. There is a road near us. Xiaocun, surnamed Tang (commonly known as Tangwu Village). When our ancestors built the village there, a geography teacher once said that when building a village in this place, daily life was very smooth, and there were even a few talents. However, the hills, the house land, The housing and water laws are in short supply, and the population will not be prosperous in the future. No matter how many years later, the population of men, women, old and young will not exceed 23. In the past, the population was small, so I did not pay attention to the husband's prediction. However, as the population increased year by year, it turned out that the husband's prediction was true. It is very accurate. As long as the population reaches 23, one person must die that year.
What people actually fight for is a face. The final decision is not made by oneself, but depends on many factors, such as the village, the land, the residence, Feng Shui, fate, and water. Dharma, Tao, etc., these are all inseparable. Born to the same parents, some sons marry and have children, some are single all their lives, the eldest brother has a daughter but no children, and the second brother has children but no children, so some Things cannot be explained clearly, the way is unclear, and humans cannot understand.
A daughter has lost her incense. This is a traditional Chinese thought. If you don't have a son, if your daughter gets married and your grandson takes the son-in-law's surname, nothing will happen to you.
If you look at the traditional family tree, there are no daughters’ names. They are all passed down by men. If there are only daughters, your family tree will be your generation. If it disappears, the family inheritance will be drawn. period.
Therefore, there is a slight possibility that you must give birth to a son. In Shandong, some people give birth to five or six daughters before giving birth to a son, and everyone is happy. I just like my son so much, but I can't help it. It has been passed down for tens of thousands of years and I can't change it for a while!