2. In winter without your hand, I can still live a wonderful life with a hot water bottle.
3, there is no scandal in the world, and I am afraid there will be bitches. If you are a bitch, you are thirteen demons.
4, 80 points before the exam, just like the dead; Now getting an 80 is like being a father.
Xiaoming doesn't wear high heels, and he doesn't need a ladder to change light bulbs. Who is Xiaoming?
6, mosquitoes fly to the sleeping baby * *, dad drives away mosquitoes and puts toilet water on them. The baby woke up and shouted, Mom, the mosquito just peed on me!
7. For a road idiot, the most precious thing is that you stand still and I'll pick you up.
8, the water is shallow and there are more than eight kings, and there are big bosses everywhere.
9. Don't move. Robbery! Hands up. Men stand on the left and women stand on the right. Standing among perverts, talking about you and reading text messages!
10, holding a kitchen knife to cut the wire, sparking all the way.
1 1. I was cooking in the canteen and a sister paper was rudely inserted in front of me. I leaned over and said, beauty, do you have a boyfriend? Sister paper said: No, why? Go up and say with a big mouth: little bitch, how dare you come to my place to jump the queue without a boyfriend?
12, you are not only lucky, but also have good athlete's foot!
13, broke up once and said I had a stomachache.
14, I'm not a male, can I have a little monster? I'm not the wolf. Hirotaro won't fight? I'm not Spongebob, so I cried.
15, measure the bed by measuring the window, jump on the bed and measure the bed against the wall by measuring the window. The wall is longer than the bed, the bed is longer than the window, the window is longer than the bed and the bed is longer than the wall, so the wall is longer than the bed. If you don't study hard, you will hit a wall.
16, * *, is the man holding me in your hand very proud? I told you politely that I left it!
17, obviously stupid, but not reverse thinking.
18, "You never know a child's ugliness unless you hold his hand. Drag the child away, but the child saysno. " All right! Close the door and let the dog go!
19, I don't know what frivolity is, I only know that the winner is king.
20. What is a friend? Put a dollar on the table and you won't lose it. If you put a bag of melon seeds back, there will be a pile of skin left.
2 1. I wanted to be a lady, but life forced me to be a bitch.
22. I heard that it's 35 degrees on Tanabata, and it's so hot that you hit it one-on-one
23. He is waiting for the Year of the Tang Priest and the Year of the Little Brother, but you forget that the Monkey King is waiting for the Year of the Tang Priest.
24. A girl who has been single for a long time told me that she recently found the feeling of falling in love. It turns out that every time she goes downstairs to pick up the courier, the courier brother will ask her plaintively. Do you know how long I have been waiting for you?
25. We can't be lovers, we can be sexual partners, and we can't play home runs every night without a shot.
26, blind date is to show feng shui to the grave, confession is to dig the grave, marriage is both selfish, * * is to rob the grave, divorce is to move the grave.
Please don't giggle at me when I call your full name, because I'm serious at this moment.
28. It's hard to love someone. It's fun to love two people, but it's over to love three.
29. Help if you are in trouble, and help if you are not.
30. During the military training, the instructor joked with us: What's the girl opposite? A great male student in the class replied: Power Ranger. There was a burst of laughter. The instructor asked again, what are we? Wonderful man replied: anti-terrorist elite.
3 1, give me three months. I will become two me and reappear in front of you.
32. In fact, the reason why the wolf failed is that all other wolves eat it raw. This product must be cooked.
33. We are not afraid of teachers, but we are afraid that teachers will call their parents.
Don't be infatuated with me, because I'm just a legend. Don't be infatuated with elder sister, she will make you vomit blood after removing makeup.
If you can't tolerate me, it means that you are either too narrow-minded or my personality is too great.
If you are ill, don't call me. I'm not a vet.
37. The hearts of employers and employees are also made of meat. You think it's stainless steel and waterproof.
38. As soon as others praise me, I worry that others praise me for not being good enough.
39. On a night without orangutans, I attract you with monkeys.
40. When I was young, my mother often gave me a cup of foreign coffee. I didn't know it was Banlangen until I grew up.
4 1, Baidu can't find you, so we have to go to sogou!
42. A friend fell in love for two years and was heartbroken. I comforted him, "Don't be sad, you are someone else's daughter-in-law who has slept for two years."
43. I want to say goodbye to you. I am sad to see innocent written on your face. Why did I choose deeply, but I had to give up in a hurry? I want to keep you around forever, but my mother said "pigs are not allowed in the city"!
44. The difference between people and pigs is that pigs have always been pigs, but people are sometimes not people!
45. When I was three years old, I unfortunately fell off a cliff and met the extinct teacher. He gave me a book. I thought it was a street fighter, but I didn't expect it to be a crayon Shinchan.
46. My best friend and I agreed that if one day we became rivals in love, we would abandon the man together and walk hand in hand.
47. Your face is so dusty that you can't even say a simple greeting, because I stole your QQ!
48. At the beginning of life, you are kind in nature, and you are a hero if you don't do your homework. What should the teacher do when checking? Raise the broom and work with him.
49. Everything will be fine. All shall be well, jack shall have Jill, but there is no lover suffering from heatstroke in summer.
50. I want to be strong. God put me on the earth to make me a boss.
5 1, Rain God Rain God, come to my house and give us a heavy rain.
52. There are plenty of grass in the sea, and there are few generations. Now the only child is a treasure, and it is hard to find without a car or a house. The skin is white and beautiful, why doesn't anyone pick it? Where can I find a reason to be single? Well done in family planning!
53. You are a genius, I am a talented person, and you have no second one more than me.
54. Advertising tells you that money can be spent like this.
55. My greatest wish is: the school has collapsed, the teacher is crazy, the homework belongs to others, and you are mine.
Don't think you are too arrogant in my heart. You are driving me crazy. Even if my heart is riddled with holes, I will take you out.
57. My parents quarreled fiercely. My mother suddenly picked up a bottle of dichlorvos and said to my father, if you do this to me again, I will let you taste the loss of your loved ones! Then he opened my mouth.
58. During this period, I tried to turn over the salted fish, but it completely stuck.
59. Tell you a ghost story: school will start soon.
60. Who told me that Nokia can smash walnuts? Now it is black.
6 1, the sudden rain can't wet the wings of ducks; Strong winds can't extinguish the light of fireflies.
62. My girlfriend is in a bad mood these days. I acted carefully so as not to annoy her. I was washing dishes after dinner, and she suddenly said, I wash dishes clockwise and you wash dishes counterclockwise. I can't live this life!
63. After a long flight, I want to play drift by bike!
I have told you many times that I love you. Will you be constipated once?
65. I quarreled with my girlfriend and threatened to wait and see. Now I have looked at each other for more than ten miles.
66. Abandoned? Being bullied? Homeless? Don't be sad, don't be discouraged, even if the whole world dislikes you, at least there are us, the state-owned pig farm-your warm home.
67. My son wants to use my toothpaste when he brushes his teeth in the morning. I said, you can't use it You are young, you can use baby toothpaste. He gave me a cold look and said, Mom, you are so stingy. Did I tell you that you use my baby cream every day?
You are the biggest pencil box I have ever seen. Aren't you tired of holding so many pens?
69.DM: You have no right to see me unhappy, but you have the right to deceive yourself.
70. Spring is a season of colds and high spirits. Someone accidentally caught a cold, and someone accidentally fell in love. I belong to the former. I was also an infatuated seed, but it rained and drowned.
7 1, I have to work hard, otherwise people will say, look, that man is nothing but good-looking.
72. The rooster and hen are husband and wife, and they are busy incubating chickens all day. There is something wrong with the chicken's brain. It doesn't eat, drink or rest. The rooster and hen are anxious, so they hide to see the chickens. Silly chicken didn't pay attention, secretly looking at his mobile phone.
73. When the clouds pass by, it is the trace that I miss you; That's how I miss you when the light shines; When it rains, it is evidence that I miss you; When it thundered, I prayed to heaven that you were struck by lightning!
74. Is there a loan? I can't borrow it any more. Can I borrow it? Are you sleepy? Again? .
75. There are fewer people crossing the road with grandma, but more people crossing the road with * *.
76. As soon as I got a zero in math, I cried and begged God to give me a chance to start over. Sure enough, I got a zero in chemistry the next day.
77. The weather is hot in early autumn, and the mood is really wonderful; You can see that your body is hot, and you can run around in shorts. When it is hot, insert an ice cream and the bathtub will bubble; Watermelon and melon are chewed indiscriminately, and sweat is used as glue. Let go of your troubles on the spot and be happy and happy.
78. The simplest IQ test, please see the following paragraph: Sister, go forward boldly! The river flows eastward. Wow, the stars in the sky join Beidou! Those who have music hum can go to the hospital for psychiatric registration in the near future!
79, don't give elder brother discharge, sister-in-law there is caller id!
80, breaking up is boring, and we can play divorce if we can!
8 1, leave a name for doing good, and run away for doing bad.
82. Just now, someone said he liked me, so I just deleted him. In September, when he said he liked me, he definitely wanted to trick me into going to his hometown to break corn and cut beans.
83. I am scum. I always cover up my answers when the teacher passes me in every exam, mainly for fear that the teacher will see my stupid answers.
84, the price of green onions doubled, and the onion asked garlic: Why do we have a pile of one yuan? Garlic: Singles are popular now. I've never seen a garlic or a nobleman! Onion: I am single, too! Garlic: Your name is onion. Go abroad for development!
85, handsome can't go to the bank to swipe his card.
86. Have you been single for a long time? I saw a sow with beautiful eyes recently.