The king who failed the exam
Scene: Reconstruction classroom Characters: Xiao Ai, Xiao Wu, Xiao Ling
Content:
Xiao Ai appears : (Holding a book in hand) The flower of the modern social network (shaking his head and reciting a poem)
Fighting on the battlefield day and night
As soon as the final results come out
Hanging ! hang! hang!
(shakes head, sits down)
Xiao Wu comes on: (flicks hair) Public lovers are carefree (shakes head and recites poems)
Crazy pursuit of beauties Never give up
How about the examination room after failing in love
Retake it! Rebuild!
(See Xiao Ai, shake hands: comrade-in-arms. Sit down)
Xiao Ling comes on stage (in the tone of Song Dandan’s sketch): Some people sing out of tune
Some people are worried about love I have a unique habit of falling asleep in class without fear of being laughed at. I will report to the refresher class today.
(Sit down next to Xiao Wu)
Xiao Ai: Why hasn’t this teacher come yet? I waited until the flowers were dry! If I had known this, I would have played another round of CS today. (The tone of a Northeastern family)
Xiao Wu: (Take out a mirror and look at it) Yes, he came in such a hurry that my hair was messed up! Haven't you heard? You can bleed, your head can be severed, and your hair can't be messed up!
Xiao Ling: I want to sleep anyway! It's time to bid farewell to Athens for the Olympics, and there's an election in the United States. It's time to go to bed in class. (Song Dandan)
Xiao Ai: Alas, I miss the heroes of my generation who have to rebuild their fields! Let me introduce myself, my name is Xiao Ai.
Xiao Wu: My name is Xiao Wu.
Xiao Ling: My name is Xiao Ling.
Xiao Ai: Nice to meet you! We, Ai Wuling (250), gather together! Why did you two join this team?
Xiao Wu: Brother, it’s a long story------
Xiao Ai, Xiao Ling: Then stop talking!
Xiao Wu: Huh? These two are so heartless! Reminds me of the sad past... Alas, bad luck and misfortune! I think back then I was just a flower...
Xiao Ai Xiaoling: Flowers? !
Xiao Wu: Our final destination!
Xiao Ai, Xiao Ling (looking at each other): Oh! It turned out to be cow dung!
Xiao Wu stood up and asked: What are you two talking about? I can't bear it! No, it is unbearable! Such a rude thing to say to a handsome guy like me!
Xiao Ai Xiaoling: Calm down, calm down!
Xiao Wu (yelling) Come on, open the door and let the dogs out!
Little Ai Xiaoling held her head in fear.
Xiao Wu rushed out.
Xiao Ling: Why did he go out by himself?
Xiao Ai: Fortunately, I have taken rabies prevention! What if I get bitten?
(Looking down in thought) Have we gone too far?
Xiao Ling: No?
Xiao Ai: Are you sure?
Xiao Ling nodded.
Xiao Ai: Then go a little further! (Stand up) Let’s go, the teacher has called the roll! Ha ha!
Xiao Wu appeared immediately.
Xiao Ai: Brother Mad Dog? (Smiling playfully) No, Brother Cow Dung! (Seeing that Xiao Wu’s expression was wrong) No, brother, you are back! I'm just missing you!
Xiao Wu sat down: We are such stingy people! We are both re-study students, so why should we have known each other before?
Xiao Ai Xiaoling: Yes, yes, yes!
Xiao Wu: I will continue to tell you that my story is long. Alas, where do I start? (In retrospect) Since it is so long, I won’t say it anymore! In a word: beauties have a bad fate!
Xiao Ai Xiaoling: Huh?
Xiao Wu: Sorry. Beauty is a curse! Haven't you heard of a famous saying...
Xiao Ai Xiaoling: No!
Xiao Wu: I haven’t said it yet! If you don’t fall in love out of boredom, just pervert out of boredom!
Xiao Ai: Brother, don’t say anything! Long live understanding! Seeing that you have also been in love for a long time, you are a pear blossom that overwhelms Begonia.
Xiao Wu: (crying face) What a close friend!
Xiao Ling: Yes, I think you are quite cool, big brother, and I was very moved when I saw you!
Xiao Wu: What? What do you think, sister?
Xiao Ling: Your fate cannot be changed.
Xiao Wu: (smiling face) What!
Xiao Ling: (smiling, suddenly changing her face) Dumped!
Xiao Ai snickered, admired!
Xiao Wu turned to Xiao Ai: Why are brothers in such trouble?
Xiao Ai: I am also a noble warrior!
Xiao Wu: Traveling together?
Xiao Ai: I am taking the normal path and I will not take it! I can also show my skills in the dark night!
Xiao Wu Xiaoling (fearing): You, who are you?
Xiao Ai (shaking his head and tail in a noble manner): Hum! I am the leader of the new generation! Internet killer!
Xiao Wu: In the end, my studies were all in vain!
Xiao Ai: Let me tell you that studying is a piece of cake for me! Besides, do you think I'm a candidate for failure?
The two said in unison: Like!
Xiao Ai: I ----- have nothing to say!
Xiao Ling: Hey, you are not as miserable as me!
Xiao Wu: Sister, there are mostly boys in this major, why are you so depraved?
Xiao Ling: Forget it, don’t you know? Arafat is gone.
Xiao Ai, Xiao Wu: Yes, yes, sorry (the two began to sigh at each other)
Xiao Ling: Do you still listen to me?
Xiao Ai, Xiao Wu: We can understand your mood!
Xiao Ling: But this is none of my business.
Xiao Ai Xiao Wu: Huh?
Xiao Ling: I have my own troubles. If I don't sleep for a day, I can't sleep.
Xiao Ai: Sister, is this talking?
Xiao Ling: Anyway, you won’t understand my troubles. People who don't sleep are all similar, but people who sleep sleep in their own way.
Xiao Wu: That makes sense!
Xiao Ai: In short, we all failed the exam!
The three of them sighed at the same time: Alas! ! ! ! ! !
Xiao Ai: Look! The teacher has started class!
Xiao Ai and Xiao Wu turned around and saw that Xiao Ling had fallen asleep and exclaimed: What a speed!
Xiao Wu: No! It's time to do something serious. Let's seize the time. Let me see if there are any pretty girls in this class.
Xiao Ai: Let me think about today’s new tactics! One class can accurately study each one and block countless!
Ring the bell.
Xiao Ling woke up immediately.
Xiao Wu: Really on time!
Xiao Ling: That is! This is called the biological clock! Go to sleep and wake up easily! (stands up) Goodbye! You said, will we still fail the class?
Xiao Ai and Xiao Wu looked at each other: She asked, will we still fail the class?
Characters: League Secretary, Xiao Ai, Xiao Ling, Xiao Wu
Scene: Classroom
League Secretary: classmates, classmates, comrades, compatriots We, same. . . same. . . What are you with? Please listen to what I have to say!
Three people: Tell me.
League Secretary: Do you listen?
Three people: Listen!
League Secretary: Really listen?
Three people: Really!
League Secretary: Are you sure?
Three people: OK.
League Secretary: No regrets?
Three people: No regrets.
League Secretary: Are you serious? Didn't you lie to me?
Three people: Do you want to say it?
League Secretary: Oh, I’m starting to talk! ----What am I going to say?
Three people fainted.
League Secretary: Ah! ! ! ! That’s right!
The three of them sat up.
League Secretary: I really forgot what I was going to say!
The three fainted again.
Secretary of the Communist Youth League: Okay, let’s get back to the point, you can no longer be drunk and dreamy! You must constantly strive for self-improvement, come forward, be self-motivated, self-motivated, self-motivated. . .
Make a change and boycott Japanese products!
Xiao Ling: What a mess!
League Secretary: Xiaoling! Why do you have to sleep in class?
Xiao Ling: I’m sleepy, so I sleep!
League Secretary: Why don’t you sleep in the dormitory?
Xiao Ling: I want it too! But the teacher wouldn’t let me go!
League Secretary: Can’t you sleep after class?
Xiao Ling: I’ll sleep after class!
League Secretary: What do you do at night?
Xiao Ling: What do you do at night?
League Secretary: Go to sleep!
Xiao Ling: We have the same habits!
League Secretary: What else do you do besides sleeping?
Xiao Ling: Very important thing! ----Have a meal!
League Secretary: What about studying?
Xiao Ling: I also want to ask this question!
League Secretary: Classmate! Please correct your attitude! Why do you sleep all day and night?
Xiao Ling: Yes!
League Secretary: Can’t you sleep all night?
Xiao Ling fainted.
Xiao Ai: Hahaha!
League Secretary: Xiao Ai, why do you always play games?
Xiao Ai: Psychological needs!
League Secretary: What’s so fun about the game? Just have fun in your spare time! I look down upon those of you who play games the most, you have no technical skills at all! Tell you that the teacher is very angry and the consequences will be serious!
Xiao Wu: Haha, you died again!
League Secretary: And you, Xiao Wu!
Xiao Wu: Yes!
League Secretary: Look at your day, apart from dating girls, drinking tea and taking walks, is it worth it for you to get all the results?
Xiao Wu: Yes! The future is not bright! ---No pretty girl!
The Youth League Secretary: The future is bleak, - no bright!
Classmates, classmates, comrades, fellow--
Three people: Just say it!
League Secretary: What are you talking about!
Three people fainted.
League Secretary: Burn our youth!
Xiao Ling: No matches!
Leader of the Communist Youth League: Work hard and forge ahead!
Xiao Ai: No strength!
League Secretary: Abandon your bad habits!
Xiao Wu: It won’t abandon me!
League Secretary: Come on, let’s study together!
The three of them lay down: Alas!
Secretary of the Youth League: Cheer up, seize the time, let us...
The bell rings.
League Secretary: ... Let’s go have a meal!
Three people: Yeah!
League Secretary: How can you do this? Are you worthy of the party, the country, the people, and your mother? Are you worthy of...me?
Xiao Airuo felt something: Mom!
League Secretary: Hey!
Xiao Ai: Take advantage of me!
League Secretary: It was a complete accident! music!
(
Xiao Ling: Actually, I don’t really want to sleep that much! Go to sleep, just to escape reality! When you fall asleep, you can't see the teacher giving lectures, you can't see the serious classmates, you don't have to think about anything, you don't have to think about anything! I also want to study, but I always feel like I want to rest. . .
The other three applauded.
Xiao Ai: To be honest, I don’t necessarily want to play games. It’s because I feel tired from studying and can’t learn well. I just want to use games to numb myself! The more depressed I am, the more I play games. In the game, I am the king, which gives me temporary happiness, but the worse my results are. The worse your grades are, the more depressed you will be!
The other three applauded.
Xiao Wu: To be honest, I do have a lot of desire for love. I want to experience the romance of willow trees above the moon and people meeting at dusk, but I also make excuses to avoid studying! Once you relax yourself, you will become lazy, let alone want to study.
The three applauded.
League Secretary: I think I understand your mood. You have entered the shadow of your soul! So I want to give you a hand! As the league secretary, it is my responsibility to help you! As a classmate, I hope that the students who have fallen behind will return to the team!
(Music stops!) Because we came to the same group, from that day on, we were a family! (Music "Because We Are a Family")
League Secretary: OK! Maybe you can't adapt for a while, but I will always help you, guide you, and seduce you!
Three people: Huh?
League Secretary: No! To guide you! To seduce you!
Three people: Huh?
League Secretary: In short, let’s work hard together!
Three people: fighting!
Several people study hard together and help each other, next.
Xiao Ling: With the help of the Youth League Secretary, I finally understood that thirty-six thousand days should be held up every night! My results finally appeared (Take out the sign!) Excellent!
(Singing) I like sour sweetness. This is the real me. The door to the re-education class will never come again. What a beautiful world, waiting for me to discover!
Xiao Ai: (holding the book) Since I stopped playing games, I passed CET-4 easily. Now I am working hard to learn English. My goal is: - No. 1!
(Singing) Hahaha hi, stop playing games! Hahaha hi, stop playing games! The sign of the King of Reconstruction was kicked away by me!
Xiao Wu: There is Yan Ruyu in the book, and there is Yan Ruyu in the book... It is still Yan Ruyu! Since I have been accompanied by books, my empty heart has finally been filled! I waved my sleeves and never accepted another repair order!
(Chorus) I want to become the hard-working child in the fairy tale, and I will no longer have to relearn and study happily!
Secretary of the Communist Youth League: Classmates, classmates, comrades, classmates - how come they are all gone? What are you with? You have finally become an outstanding team member! Keep working hard and never give up!
Three people: Thanks! What are you with?
Or:
Examination Crazy Cloud (Campus Sketch)
Characters: Xiao Ai, Xiao Wu, Xiao Ling, Teacher
Scene: Classroom
Content:
Xiao Ling is sleeping on the table.
Xiao Ai left the book beside him and went out.
Xiao Wu came in and sat in Xiao Ai's seat.
Xiao Ai (comes in): Oh, man, this is really baffling. Are you kidding me? Don’t you see, I’ve already taken this seat!
Xiao Wu: Ding is Ding, and Mao is Mao. In fact, I got it earlier than you!
Xiao Ai: I came early in the morning, why didn’t I see you?
Xiao Wu: I took it last night.
Xiao Ai: The last row is my patent! For it, I got up early every day, scratched my head, and my blood was flowing. I couldn’t lose this position!
Xiao Wu: The last row is my pride. The Feng Shui here is unique. If you want to drive me away from here (Xiao Ai: - How?) I advise you to pull me down as soon as possible!
Xiao Ling woke up: Why are you making noise?
Having a quarrel in such a sacred classroom early in the morning is a waste of youth!
Do you know what mistakes you made? ah?
Xiao Ai: I know.
Xiao Wu: We won’t argue anymore.
Xiao Ling: The most unforgivable thing about you is that you woke me up!
Xiao Ai sat in front of Xiao Ling.
Xiao Ai: The last word is to carry forward the style.
Brother, follow my lead in the exam!
Xiao Wu: Huh? Is there an exam today?
Xiao Ling: Can you? My hands are numb today!
Xiao Ai: Are you scared?
Xiao Wu: Are you sleeping?
Xiao Ling: None of them are right! Tired of fighting grass!
Xiao Ai: Hey, I think I spent most of the night lighting the lamp and burning oil!
Xiao Wu: Oh, are you studying hard?
Xiaoling: Do you also fight grass?
Xiao Ai: Oh no, I’m thinking about exam strategies!
Xiao Wu and Xiao Ling came over: What are you thinking of?
Xiao Ai laughed wildly: Let me tell you, this trick is amazing!
Xiao Wu, Xiao Ling: Come on!
Xiao Ai: Copy according to the book - (pick up the book)
Xiao Ling: Go to hell!
Xiao Wu: That’s a good idea! Why didn't I think of that?
Xiao Ling: Come on. You call this a trick?
Hey, in order to relieve the tense atmosphere, I will give you a humorous puzzle.
Xiao Ai and Xiao Wu ignored her.
Xiao Ling: Tell me, how many steps are there to answer the exam?
Xiao Ai and Xiao Wu approached: How many steps?
Xiao Ling: Three steps!
Step one: write your name. (Both of them nodded)
Step 2: Read the question again! (Both of them nodded)
Step three: - hand over the rolling paper!
Xiao Ai: Hand in blank!
Xiao Wu: What’s wrong?
Xiao Ling: Let me ask you another question: There is an exam today, who didn’t come?
Xiao Ai: Who can’t come to the exam today? Xiaoling?
Xiao Ling: I’m not here!
Xiao Ai: Look around, Xiao Wu?
Xiao Wu: Here you are!
Xiao Ai: Ah! I know—Xiao Ai!
Xiao Wu: You came here in vain! There is no difference between coming or not coming!
Xiao Ling: Answer, teacher! Not here yet!
The teacher walked in.
The three of them were startled: Are you here? Why did you come even though you said you couldn’t come? oops! (Noisy)
Teacher: What is it called? The toad has come in?
The three of them laughed.
Teacher: Be serious! What about this exam! No professional ethics at all! What is the most important thing these days? --Fraction! Minute by minute, your lifeblood! (Evil smile) Test, test, test, our magic weapon!
Xiao Ai: Copy, copy, copy, our trick!
Teacher: Hand out rolling papers quickly! Don’t come early even if you have an exam, what time is it already! I didn’t come until half an hour after the exam started! What have you been doing?
Hair curls.
Teacher: The exam lasts for *** two hours! No papers are allowed to be handed in for less than one hour! Students who want to answer the paper please pick up the pen, and students who do not want to answer the paper please rest where they are. Students who want to go to the toilet - please restrain yourself!
Xiao Ai: Let me compare the teacher,
He is like a mouse looking for a cat to be an escort - the request is unreasonable!
Xiao Ling: That’s right! Could it be that he is a legendary rapper, otherwise why would he keep mumbling?
Teacher: Be quiet! You are quieter than trees! Do you know what a serious mistake you have made? Heavier than the sea of ??salt!
Three people started copying.
Teacher: (referring to Xiao Ai) Please stop copying this student!
Xiao Wu, Xiao Ling: I didn’t copy it!
The teacher walked up to Xiao Ai: Classmate, stop copying!
Xiao Ai: How do you know? I put it on the table and copied it!
Teacher: The board in front of your desk fell off, I saw it!
Xiao Ai: (looked at it) Oops! What bad luck!
The teacher confiscated Xiao Ai's rolling paper, and Xiao Ai was about to stand up and walk.
Teacher: Sit down! You are not allowed to go out for less than an hour!
The teacher walked to Xiao Wu, and Xiao Wu took the roll of paper to the table and copied it.
Teacher: Okay, okay, stop pretending!
I look down upon those of you who cheat with books the most. You have no technical content at all.
How did you copy it just now? so? so?
Xiao Wu: Lower and lower!
Teacher: (confiscating Xiao Wu’s paper) Sit down and reflect, why did you cheat with the book?
Xiao Wu: I don’t want to take the book either! Why didn't I do a good job like her (Xiaoling)?
Xiao Ling looked at Xiao Wu with wide eyes.
Teacher: That’s right, remember to hit the grass next time! I just like this kind of hard-working children.
Teacher: It’s time! carry out an assignment.
Put away the roll paper.
Teacher: OK. Remember to take the high school math test in the afternoon! (Part 2)
Xiao Ai: Ah! Are you taking the high school math test in the afternoon?
Xiao Ling: Ah! ! High school math test in the afternoon! (Picks up the grass) What did you test just now?
Xiao Wu: High... number? ! What tree is that?
Three people: Let’s study how to kill grass!
The teacher walks in (each teacher can be played by one person in costume).
Xiao Ai: Chinese teacher!
Teacher: Xiao Ai, how do you write a composition! (Give the roll of paper to Xiao Ai)
Xiao Ai: What’s wrong?
Teacher: Read it.
Xiao Ai: "My Teacher", my teacher has an oval face...
Teacher: Wait, (take out a big sign with claws written on it) Are you a melon with an oval face? What you wrote is that my teacher has a clawed face!
Xiao Ai: Teacher, the paw face is also a face, can’t we just look at it?
Teacher: You continue reading.
Xiao Ai: My teacher is so beautiful, so beautiful, so beautiful, so beautiful, so beautiful, so beautiful...
Teacher: Stop! Why do you write so much about how beautiful it is? That’s how I wrote it until the end!
Xiao Ai: Teacher, isn’t it required that the composition should be no less than 500 words?
Teacher: Then you only take beautiful photos?
Xiao Ai: Isn’t it required to write true feelings? This is all my feelings!
Teacher: Hum hum, tell you, you only have 496 words!
Xiao Ai: Oh! Then I’d like to add: It’s so beautiful!
Teacher: Look at your translation of ancient Chinese. How did you translate death by touching a locust tree?
Xiao Ai: Find an old locust tree and hang yourself!
Teacher: Why is it an old locust tree? Look, when you explain words and death, you actually write about death!
Xiao Ai: Oh, I wanted to write about death!
Teacher: (with a helpless look) You, you failed again!
Xiao Ai: Give me another chance! I've retaken it five times!
Teacher: Okay, I'll give you a chance. I've heard that phlegm can relieve cattle, is it easy? You make up a sentence using the word "easily done", and I'll pass it to you!
Xiao Ai: There is a fish in the swimming blade? ! Fish... fish, fish swim in the water, fish can swim with ease...
Teacher: (laughing) Congratulations, you got——
Xiao Ai: Passed?
Teacher: (indifferently) The sixth opportunity to retake the course. (Part 2)
Xiao Ling, Xiao Wu: Forget it, let’s study advanced mathematics.
The teacher comes in.
Xiao Wu: Philosophy teacher!
Teacher: Xiao Wu!
Xiao Wu: Yes!
Teacher: Look at your rolling paper!
My question is: this is the question, please answer it.
How did you answer?
Xiao Wu: This is the answer, please give me points...isn’t it right?
Teacher: Do you call this a problem?
Teacher: You——Okay, next question,
Essay question: What is courage? Why didn’t you answer?
Xiao Wu: I answered!
Teacher: I just wrote five words!
Xiao Wu: (reading) This is courage! That’s right! Then I handed in the paper without answering the following questions. How well I explained courage!
Teacher: You-just wait and die!
Xiao Wu: Teacher! Give me another chance! I failed fifteen times!
Teacher: Then let me ask you two questions.
It depends on your luck...
Xiao Wu: Two ways - too many!
Teacher: Okay, the first question is answered correctly! If you don't answer the second question, I'll let you pass. How many hairs do you have?
Xiao Wu: It would be nice if I were bald.
Teacher: Answer!
Xiao Wu: 123456789 roots!
Teacher: How do you know?
Xiao Wu: Teacher, I don’t have to answer the second question!
Teacher: OK! very good! very good! Take it (hand a piece of paper)
Xiao Wu: This is——
Teacher: Re-study! (Part 2)
Xiao Ling, Xiao Ai: Come and study advanced mathematics——
The teacher comes in.
Xiao Ling: English teacher! (wanting to run)
Teacher: Xiaoling, why are you running? Didn't have breakfast!
Xiao Ling: Didn’t eat——
Teacher: I saw you had eaten in the morning!
Xiao Ling: -Breakfast tomorrow!
Teacher: Xiaoling, look at the paper. None of your reading comprehension is correct! Did you just read the topic and choose it without even reading it?
Xiao Ling: No!
Teacher: How dare you quibble!
Xiao Ling: I didn’t even read the question, I just chose the answer!
Teacher: And your composition! Why does it look familiar?
Xiao Ling: Doesn’t it look familiar? Read and understand the first sentence of each paragraph...
Teacher: Xiaoling, it’s time for you to wake up! This time you——
Xiao Ling: Ah! Teacher, I have failed five, fifteen, no, fifty times! I can’t hang up anymore!
Teacher: It’s not that I didn’t teach you...this...for example, can you translate what evening dress means?
(To the audience) It’s an evening gown!
Xiao Ling looked at Xiao Ai and Xiao Wu.
Xiao Ai: Evening is at night, best for big games!
Xiao Wu: Dress is clothes, girls are always clamoring to buy them!
Xiao Ling: Oh! Teacher, I understand! It's night clothes!
The teacher shook his head. (Part 2)
Xiao Ling: No, I have to find a teacher! You two, study it slowly! (Part 2)
Xiao Ai: Forget it, let’s study hard
I think the second one is better