In September, 2005, I started a formal life outside school. I took exams, divided classes, moved desks and chairs ... The first time I saw you was when I was waiting to enter the classroom door in junior high school 18 class. Although it's just my back, my first reaction is that I'm so thin and my hair is so long. After simply arranging the location, everyone began to get familiar with it. I didn't expect to get familiar with it so soon. At that time, only fun and trouble were left. But life is also very happy. After all, I often go to the head teacher's office. I still remember that it was always annoying you to grab your pen. Now I often sigh that it is good to put my pen on the table without a box, unlike now I don't know where my pen is. The days after everyone became familiar gradually calmed down, and there were not so many new things. Eating, attending classes, playing ... tossing and turning again and again. One thing impressed me the most on the dull first day. I didn't know what it was at first, but I remember you gave me some lead boxes and a duty rope at random, saying that I gave it to you. For some reason, I stayed. I saw it when I was sorting things out in the third grade. It's really funny to think about it now.
In September 2006, the second grade began to turn. From the original first floor to the second floor, life became dull. Living in the first grade, studying the textbooks of the second grade, fighting on weekdays, and those boring gossip and some unfounded. However, it has changed. With the change of the head teacher, the number of times I go to the office seems to have increased again. You're still the same. Nothing has changed. It's just that your long braid is gone. Short hair, I was still a little uncomfortable at that time, and my mind kept hovering. Why did you cut it? Speaking of which, I kind of miss the math teacher at that time. Although I shamefully forgot her name, you should remember it. It seems that I taught you in elementary school. Well, I represent the math class. In this way, we all live a mechanical life of studying at school.
In September 2007, the familiar building became a brick house. Considering the problem of school geomantic omen, we moved to a village near the playground. Identity has also officially become a junior high school student. I can only say that this is a difficult time, which leads to my happiness in high school. There was no sun in the morning and evening, except that the damn alarm clock fell on the bed and didn't ring. I was confused and went into the classroom. When I saw the light, I didn't see the sun. When I compromised and enjoyed myself and sang Lickitung in the dark, your father laughed at me happily. In a year's time, the question about your short hair has already flown away, and my position has changed many times. However, thanks to the great history teacher, his teaching method of letting us check each other's recitation deeply touched me. You asked me to listen to you recite history, when I was not full and even my mouth was full of food. At that time, I thought, you recite it and I'll eat it. But your old man insisted that I finish eating, and I almost choked to death. Well, I admit that I never thought about the image problem. In those years before liberation, I was proud of it.
It's been three years now. In these three years, you have your own little secrets and your own little happiness. Three years have passed like this, but these three years are the most carefree three years when I met you. I am glad to meet you in your best three years. Before graduation, the whole class gave photos to each other. Now that I think about it, our class is unique. Other classes send each other suicide notes, and our class sends each other photos. You have had short hair for two years, and the only impression I have left is a lovely girl with short hair. Today, I still only stay in the back of your long hair. Graduation season, I said your photos are not good-looking, and I took pains to ask you for three more. Finally, you are no longer just stupid in your photo album at home.
In September 2008, after many twists and turns, I finally transferred to No.1 Middle School as I wanted when I was about to give up, so I got double tuition and stayed in Class 5 at the expense of no textbooks. On the first day of reporting to school, I just saw you leave school with several junior high school students. I didn't call you, although it was a scene of deja vu. The two branches are not far apart, but they are also two worlds. I'm living a happy life in Grade One with my new class teacher and a group of perverts. Getting up in the morning is much later than junior high school. I run, eat, read in the morning and enjoy life. It's another year in a flash. This year is more dull than the previous three years. It's nothing but writing something to adjust. But thanks to this year's writing and painting, at least I still have something in my mind. I don't have that much communication with you. I don't know if you are happy or unhappy. Unless by chance, we seldom meet.
In September 2009, under the great wave of education reform, we were all honored to be mice and bathed in the great glory of our motherland. Bye-bye, physiology, and embrace historical geography. When I walked into the door of Class 9, I was still looking forward to my future life-shaking my head and endorsing, looking up at beautiful women. When I was sure that the liberal arts paradise was for fun, I completely gave up my fantasy. Compared with the change of life trajectory, this can only be sesame seeds. Having a party at my house this summer vacation is really like a watermelon falling from the sky. It was a very happy thing, but we didn't connect it well and it fell apart with a bang. Bright red finally stung everyone's eyes At that time, it was the most reunion and harmonious eating and drinking based on the time from 2005 to 2009. Of course, now that I think about it, it's nothing, even that everyone has forgotten it for a long time. After all, it is not as vigorous as the junior high school graduation season. We didn't even have a photo, so we just turned over a page.
10 September, I forgot whether the big event that shocked the whole country and the world at that time was bird flu or SARS or the financial crisis. It doesn't matter. Because the word "things change" is so powerful that the so-called big things have changed hands long ago. This year, I gave you a birthday present for the first time, "the summer of solstice has not yet arrived." I looked for my classmates for two or three weeks, turned around for two weeks, and finally found a pirated book. The ending of the book is miserable, but it makes up for us at that time. All right, let's laugh together like this. In the next year 12 months and 365 days, the legendary senior three really roared and swallowed everything like the end. Of course, for me, I have to turn the direction of time forward again. The remedial class is the most beautiful and perfect unscrupulous excuse I have ever seen in the summer vacation. It seems that you came back from New Oriental as before, and you really forgot everything, but you always give me a deliberately indifferent and free and easy look. I know that no one has the strength to break away from the shackles of fate that strangles the throat. It is also the case that the straight line that should be deviated or parallel deviates again. See, people who should have drifted away also appeared in a comedy under the play of time. Time is really like God, and we are like pigs. However, no matter how disgusting time is, it really changes everything, good and bad. I don't know when I started to pay attention to your class time and give myself a chance to meet, even though I only saw you. Under the witness of the god of time, this habit lasted for two years.
1 1 September, when we should have strode into the long-awaited paradise full of happiness and freedom, we were thrown into the trash can by fate. In front of him, we always seem to play the role of clowns. The word "Senior Four" is as sacred as the degree of hardship. A group of people clamored to thank those who didn't repeat after being killed, picked up their schoolbags and sang "Kojiro" and went in. I thought the plush toy I gave you was the last gift, and we would sing in our own sky until the sky in the freshman liberated area was blue. When I looked at the results of the college entrance examination and called you and heard your crying, I knew that heaven was for the dead and we were still in hell. The same is death, people are happy, and we are the kind of people who kneel down after taking poison. I think senior three is too stressful for you, and all I can do is ask meaningless questions. I can only think so much, because I was played by fate. When I feel that you are in a bad mood and want to chat together as before, I know that your sustenance and motivation are still there, but it has nothing to do with me. Therefore, it really doesn't make sense to be caring and attentive. I hated myself at that time. Fortunately, I have nothing to make a fuss about, and nothing to sneer at with fate, so there is nothing ridiculous and sad. Then, after that, I was left alone in the circus. The boss named fate only thinks that the clown is his private property, and he doesn't need pity or sympathy, or even charity.
At this point, it has been four years. Compared with the previous three years, this is flesh and blood. A few years ago, I would write these stories into a book and win the tears and sympathy of thousands of ignorant boys and girls. It's just that the word untimely is applicable to all ages. The word sensational has long been a derogatory term. If I can stand on June 12, 10, I must embrace the earth, crawl for three minutes, thank myself for being so strong and alive, and then become brothers with Xiao Qiang.
/kloc-in September of 0/2, the long holiday finally left for Hexi. I really can't stand these irrelevant words, boring and gorgeous, which can be combined into a stove holiday. I have always spurned volunteering, and this is the biggest wave. I shouldn't look at the seaside and think it's a wonderful thing to go to school with you. So naturally, I was shot on the beach and didn't even drink the sea water. The day before I went to learn to report, I was trying to tell myself, just like this, what can a person who can be Xiao Qiang's big brother be persistent? No more contact, just back on track. Just like giving you a gift, it's not too much to keep telling yourself that this is your last birthday. Develop photos, origami, origami, buy photo frames, choose gifts ... When I forgot my identity and juggled on the stage without an audience again, I was smiling. Anyway, I took the first step with my eyes closed When I really did it, I felt like a hero at first, and I felt glittering behind me. I can clearly see my little vanity and self-esteem worship in front of me. But when I took another step, I knew I was completely defeated. I don't have to make phone calls, send text messages or chat about QQ, but I will always refresh my space and see what you are doing. Seeing your anger after sending me a happy birthday and deleting your friends, I suddenly felt anxious. I know the role position has changed again, or I'm playing in my true colors again. I am also Xiao Qiang's brother under the Buddha's seat, and there are others with glittering backs. The original trajectory turned a circle again, and no one could tell whether the dazzling lines were good or bad.
/kloc-in September of 0/3, the day when the seniors were called and the two days when the freshmen were admitted, they were all talking about the problem of a junior. Well, I finally changed from a little brother to a big brother, and I can pretend to be 13 on campus. This is a good thing, as long as I am a fish. I thought this summer vacation would be a good holiday, but I just forgot the fate. This guy has never been to Tomb-Sweeping Day, and he is still watching our performance happily. In June, I specially took the college entrance examination. It turns out that I am really old, and children's things don't suit me. Then I look forward to seeing the children after the summer vacation. It's just that this summer vacation is like a Mito camera. You have to take pictures before you can beautify it. We melted before we saw the beautiful scenery. Strictly speaking, it is my first trip to see you in the summer vacation. I don't know why every time I say go, the result is like eating steamed bread raw, even if I don't choke to death, I almost suffocate. I walked a long way in the opposite direction that day and decided to come to you again. I knew I was right when I saw you. I wish I could hug you then, but I clearly know that nothing can help. I really want to turn around and leave, because I'm afraid I can't help but slap myself and say a dirty word to you. But I can only look at you like a trip in November. Since then, I don't know what my whole summer vacation is. If I use one word to describe it, it is vacuum. I admire that I can vacuum package my heart. Of course, the engineer is you. I will try my best to tell you that I will make myself stronger for half a year at most, at least don't always make tears so cheap. Actually, I'm just saying I don't have much hope. I know the pain and the situation. Even if I give you two years, I can't do it well, let alone six months. I just hope you can consciously change yourself instead of indulging in the past. But this summer is too hot and dry to be too calm. The first night you went back to school, I felt that I had won the prize, or that the Buddha's light shone behind me again. Xiao Qiang is not only full of energy, but also sober. I know what your purpose is, but I jumped voluntarily. The people I want to protect can risk their lives, not to mention this. So, it's good to be able to clear this muddy water with you. This is my way of comforting myself. However, you still made your own choice. I understand how you feel, so I just feel powerless. Even when I am with you after the holiday on 10/day, this sense of powerlessness is even more faithful. Round and round, the heart that has always been led by you has gone through half a year. Seeing you scold yourself like this, my brain began to congest. I ran to your school with a blank head, and when I saw you, I really experienced the feeling of being so close and so far away. Disappointment also began to turn into despair. Gradually, I understand that Xiao Qiang is full of energy, but he is not a fairy, and his job is to fuck off. It was a storm when I decided to listen to the Buddha's teachings devoutly. Then another word popped up in the dictionary, called coincidence. Words like resignation have been branded on the forehead like labels, and even have no value. By the end of the year, I really want to stick the ice mat I gave you on your birthday to my forehead and shout out God, Buddha and Hallelujah. What makes me happy these days is that you will use the wallet I gave you. Xiao Qiang is a nobody, and his heart is easily satisfied.
14 years, no September. On Lunar New Year's Eve, half a year came as scheduled. But in the last month of this half year, I thoroughly implemented the essence of Xiao Qiang's work. I played the leading role in another book, or I righted myself and rose from a supporting role. But job-hopping always requires a resignation letter. When everyone set off fireworks, listened to the countdown and shouted hallelujah, I silently handed this suicide note. A QQ number, a password. I wanted to apply for a trumpet of my own, but I was shamefully abandoned by the owner. Unfortunately, I am not a divine operator, and I am not sure about myself. The levee that was finally built can't stand a few drops of rain. I can only say that I cut corners too much, otherwise how can your words make me annihilate again. Well, I admit it's just proof that I lied to myself again. When the decision is not made, it seems to be an excuse, and all the truth will become pale and powerless. When I know that you are still living a bad life, how can I play the leading role on other stages? The existence of gravity failed to prevent the occurrence of earthquake volcanoes. How can a tiny ant among hundreds of millions of ants prevent Libra from swinging? Sometimes I often wonder, is fate playing with me like this to make me a hero and save the world? Bad luck, bad life, I should have asked for it in my previous life, and it must have been opened by the Buddha, otherwise it would be so effective. Whether it's going around or swinging around, I still go back to a certain point in the past and want to make a phone call and chat for a while every day. I said persistence needs motivation, but when persistence becomes a habit for a long time, it's easy to forget why you insisted in the first place. This time I want to prepare clothes only for your birthday, because I promised you last year. But since we have returned to a certain origin, it is still a necklace. No matter whether we go back to the original point or not, change is change, and no one can really go back to the past. I still want to watch you quietly and accompany you. I never think ten kilometers is a short distance, just as I don't think nine years is a long time.
Here, I gave you five birthdays, and every year I prepared them carefully, and every gift gave you a certain meaning. Fifth birthday, five years. In these five years, I will always admire myself for a moment, just because of what I have done. But I also despise myself because it really doesn't matter. After all, I'm just trying not to regret it, or for my own selfishness. Time will not stop, only memory will stop. On that day every year, if I can, I will carefully prepare a gift.
It has been nearly nine years since I came here. I didn't really sigh that time passed so quickly. In retrospect, I still shocked myself. I only write fragments of memories every year, but I still use nearly 4 thousand words. From the beginning of April to the present, writing or stopping, repeating, until now, I finally know that time and change are the same argument. There are too many facts that we don't want to admit, right or wrong, because when we understand, we all accept the existing results frankly. It turns out that anyone can, so the so-called missed loss will eventually become pale and powerless. We are all making decisions that we feel are right, but we have never considered anything else. Sometimes we wander around and don't understand what is right. But so what? Everything will be crushed under the wheel of time. The future is unknown and full of too many changes, but compared with time, compared with the unchangeable past, what is this? At least, the future is in our own hands. I wish I was still on my way, and you were ahead.
PS: I always say that the past is meaningless and true, but I know that when I write these words, no matter how light the cloud is, it will inevitably fluctuate in retrospect. However, I have thoroughly recognized the past, and I am far from giving up so much. For you, I hope so. Now we can only say that we know ourselves very well, whether we live well or not. As long as they are not drifting away from each other, they can still warm each other. I walked all the way and watched the scenery all the way. If I don't have a dream, maybe I can't go so far. Will cherish, all the efforts are valuable. We are struggling with each other, but we never want to hug. We have no oath to tell the world what it means to be old forever, and we will not admit our willfulness until we lose it. -Miss? dream