In real life, we often meet some invisible people and things.
For example, if someone sees a tattoo, they will think that the other person is definitely not a good person; When you meet a person with shabby clothes, you will look down on others' poor economic situation; When you see people who don't make progress and muddle along, you will look down on them from your heart.
Living in the sea, you will inevitably meet people who are different from you, or people who have no speculative psychology.
People often think it's someone else's problem, but it's actually a bad look at others' eyes because they haven't practiced enough.
People with real high emotional intelligence see who is pleasing to the eye because they know how to observe their own hearts, respect the differences between people and tolerate others.
Deep down, there is only yourself.
Psychologists have a famous "projection effect":
People always habitually impose their knowledge on others, regard others as themselves and think that others should belong to them. In other words, the external world we see comes from the heart.
This is a short story:
A wealthy family held a full moon banquet for their children. Many people came to the party, but a beggar came to eat and drink.
A young father licked his calf deeply and no one was allowed to touch his child until he washed his hands. He thought the beggar was dirty and smelly, so he hurried away and kicked him.
The child's mother said that beggars can stay, and the full moon is the wedding day, followed by the child's blessing. She asked the servant to take the beggar to wash clothes and give him food and clean clothes after eating.
Until one day, young parents took their children back to their grandmother's house and met robbers when passing through remote mountainous areas. While taking the money, you should also save your life.
At this time, a man with high martial arts beat off the robbers and saved the lives of their whole family.
The young mother panicked and recognized that the beggar who had eaten that day had saved them.
The husband and wife are grateful, and the young father is ashamed and blames himself.
In Meeting the Unknown Self, Teacher Zhang Defen said, "Dear, there is no one but yourself.
A state of mind, seeing people at first sight.
Many times, it's not that others are bad, but that we overestimate ourselves.
A muscular man with a tattoo on his arm may be a warm man who is enthusiastic about public welfare;
An old man in rags may be a rich man who pursues spiritual wealth;
People who don't pursue progress can feel their own life value, and living in the present is the highest pursuit.
Don't like people, even look down on people, is the performance of narrow vision and low emotional intelligence; This sense of superiority will collapse at any time.
There are good thoughts in the heart, no distractions in the heart, no distractions in the heart, and the world is only air-cooled.
True EQ is to know the existence of one's own heart, let go of the inherent stubbornness and prejudice, and get satisfaction and value from one's rich heart.
Emotional people,
Know how to respect the differences between people.
The great philosopher Russell once said, "Unequal polymorphism is the root of happiness."
In the video, Teacher Li Meijin said:
"No matter who conflicts with you, there are usually only 3-5 sentences. For example, if you argue, I'll say something, you answer something, I'll say something, and then come back. Don't say anything at this time, turn around.
In this way, the matter is unclear and there is no need to argue again. "
I am convinced that the argument in a few words is too much.
When it's time to stop, this is the "wise man"
In Qufu, Confucius' hometown, there is a famous saying "Three Seasons":
There are several seasons in a year when people come to ask Confucius for advice.
Confucius' disciples told the guests that they thought there were four seasons in a year, while the visitors insisted that there were only three seasons in a year.
Confucius listened, but said to the guest, "Yes, there are three seasons in a year.
The guests left contentedly. The apprentices are confused.
Confucius explained, "Look, this man is wearing Tsing Yi. He was raised by a grasshopper and died in three seasons. He has never seen all the seasons.
As the saying goes: always compete with the same hobby for height, not with fools for height.
There is no distinction between high and low, but there are grades.
Don't force different grades; There is no need to argue because of different opinions.
Time flies, precious as a pearl. Instead of wasting time on people you don't like, turn around and improve yourself.
The world is ever-changing, everything is multifaceted, people are born different, everyone has their own way of life and choices, and they are all "different fireworks".
As the author Yi Shu said: Everyone says that truth is always a basket, a basket and eight lights, and you see others, not yourself.
Seeking other people's answers by their own standards always ends with zero; As the saying goes, "gentlemen are harmonious but different", there is no need to expect to reach an agreement on specific issues.
A philosopher once said: The people we meet in this world are the people we meet, and the people we don't like, come and tell us something.
Smart people know how to respect the differences between people and not interfere in other people's lives.
True emotional intelligence is tolerance.
Lin Zexu, a national hero, wrote in his letter of encouragement: "All rivers run into the sea, and tolerance is great.
A tolerant person must be an open-minded person. Generosity to others is a sign of confidence.
When studying at Yuelu Academy in Changsha, Zeng Guofan's experience made him think:
Zeng Guofan's desk was placed by the window, and one of his classmates deliberately found fault and said, get out of the way, the light in my study came from the window, and you blocked the sun!
This classmate is a lascivious, lascivious and grumpy; Zeng Guofan studied hard, often stayed up late to study, and thrifty housekeeping made him get good grades.
This classmate was obviously jealous of him, but Zeng Guofan didn't argue with him. He moved the table silently and changed the position.
Later, Zeng Guofan won the prize, and the classmate was furious and resented Zeng Guofan for taking away the geomantic omen of the house.
The other students couldn't stand it anymore and asked, Does Zeng Guofan want to change tables? Complain about others!
Many people spoke highly of Zeng Guofan, but Zeng Guofan calmly advised his classmates not to quarrel.
Zeng Guofan thought, it is better to read more articles, or learn new knowledge for a while, arguing over this trivial matter; What's wrong with him as long as he doesn't delay himself?
There is also a saying that "no matter how clever a person is, he is stupid." A tolerant person looks weak, but in fact he needs to master the highest wisdom and understand what is most important to him.
Thackeray once said: The world is a mirror, and everyone can see his own shadow.
In the TV series "Nothing but Thirty", the elder sister dressed simply and bought the most expensive set of jewelry from Wang Manni.
She made it clear: I will only buy it for you. I will only go to these high-end stores if you warmly receive me.
Another seller can see that when she thought she couldn't afford jewelry and didn't want to meet her, only Wang Manni fell in love at first sight. In her eyes, every customer is God.
Nothing lucky will happen.
"The Second Flower Blossom" wrote: When you let go of prejudice and disguise, you are no longer anxious and eager, and your heart is truly open.
The true EQ is to treat people and things with a "normal heart" and respect others' choices with a "tolerant heart".
Blessing will come naturally.