My mother-in-law has abandoned her husband and children since she was in her forties and went to a different place to live with her mother, my husband’s grandmother, to take care of this paralyzed old lady. She is now almost 20 years old. years. My husband's family has been in this state of division for many years. In fact, in addition to my mother-in-law, the old man also has a son. He is rich and filial. However, the old man is paralyzed and cannot take care of himself. It is unrealistic for his daughter-in-law to serve him every day. So I pity my mother-in-law because she is tied to death by her mother. Get in quickly. Twenty years of dedicated service have also allowed my husband and children to live a life that feels like home for many years.
For me, having such a mother-in-law in the stall is also full of grievances. The first time I met my husband's parents, I had to run in two directions, to one city to meet my mother-in-law, and to another city to meet my father-in-law. After that, every time I went back to my husband's house, I had to deal with both ends. This state will last until my husband and grandma pass away. The problem is that the old man is now hearing and seeing well, and can eat and drink. Who knows how many more years of trouble there will be?
The whole process of the wedding ceremony was organized by my husband and I, because my husband was getting married in our provincial capital city, and his family was from another place, or two places, and he couldn't take care of us. The most chilling thing is that no one from the husband's family contributed any effort, money, or even asked about it. My husband and I spent our own money to get married. Sometimes I wonder if I really married into my husband’s family? What does this have to do with me? The mother-in-law arrived before the wedding. After attending the wedding, she left on the day and went back to take care of the old lady. She was more of a guest than the host.
After we got married, my husband said that he and I were dependent on each other. Every time I heard my husband say this, I felt sad. My husband also has a younger brother. Now that the younger brother is married, my parents-in-law will live with this younger son. When my younger son got married, my mother-in-law also attended the wedding to settle the matter. However, she was worried that her younger son had no money, so she first gave her 50,000 yuan, and then she brought another 10,000 yuan to the wedding, and she gave it to me in front of me. It left me with mixed feelings.
After I got married, I had a miscarriage and no one in my husband’s family cared about it. To say that they are out of town is no excuse. Don’t they have my mobile phone number? Are you going to ask my husband, or call my husband’s cell phone and ask me to pick up? It’s understandable that my father-in-law, as a man, is hard to interfere with, but what about my mother-in-law? She was also a woman, and she also lost her voice at this time, which made me feel so uncomfortable.
An episode comes to mind here. When I first got married, I really had the traditional idea of ??marrying into the groom’s family. I wanted to have a good relationship with the family, especially to be a sensible and filial daughter-in-law. When I visited my mother-in-law during the Chinese New Year, I bought her a set of thermal underwear. I bought it only for her, not my own mother. When I gave it to her, my mother-in-law said directly: Don’t buy it for her. She will bring it to me when I have children. No. hehe! What these words said was so chilling, it made me give up on my idea of ??being a filial daughter-in-law. I didn't expect her to be of much help to me in the future, but you said this from the beginning and put yourself far away. How do you want a new wife to treat you?
Encountering such an extremely special situation in my husband’s family, and meeting a woman like my mother-in-law who doesn’t know how to deal with others, plus there are two brothers in my husband’s family, my parents must have lived with this local son. , would not travel thousands of miles away from home to find us. My husband and I did not get any support from my husband's family in our married life. We relied entirely on ourselves. At best, we shamelessly relied on my biological mother and natal family. Thinking about my pregnancy and post-confinement period and taking care of my baby makes me sigh.
The poster asked how to stop the mother-in-law from coming to his home every day. Let’s look at my situation. If you want others to come, no one else will come. You have to take care of her mother until the old man passes away. Would you say this situation makes you feel comfortable or sad? Objectively speaking, my mother-in-law is definitely a filial daughter. She has taken care of a paralyzed old man for decades and left her own family behind. This is something that no ordinary person can do. But because of this, she missed nearly 20 years of spending time with her husband and children, and missed their children's growth. The family was in a state of division, and her husband was like a widowed widower, and he had no affection for the new daughter-in-law. No, it didn’t leave a good impression on others. How can you ask people to be filial to you? I'm not convinced either verbally or mentally. As for the grandchildren, she is just a title as grandma, which has no effect. She can neither help take care of them, nor even meet them. After all, after I have a child, I won’t take her to my husband’s house when the child is one or two years old. of.
She is responsible for her own life choices. For me, a daughter-in-law, this mother-in-law has nothing to do with me. I will not prevent my husband from being filial, but don't expect me. She is not kind to me, cold and blunt, who knows who she is?
My mother-in-law wants to come and see her grandson, why don’t you want her to come? You probably gave birth to a daughter. If you give birth to a son, and think that a few decades later, you will also be a mother-in-law, and compare your feelings with others, you won't be so heartless, right? Besides, wouldn’t it be nice to have one more person to love your child?
My mother-in-law and I get along very well.
Yesterday, my mother-in-law came home from outside with a little unhappy face. I asked her what was wrong, and she said: Several mothers-in-law in the yard said it was good to raise a daughter.
Talking about raising children to provide for old age is all nonsense, and all the daughters-in-law are frowning upon it. It's not good to do this or that while you're waiting.
I want to go back to my own home, but I can’t bear to leave my grandson. When people get old, don’t they just want to have family happiness?
My mother-in-law said: Hello, my daughter-in-law! Just like a daughter!
Those mother-in-laws didn’t believe it, saying that it was all just for show and to deceive others.
After listening to my mother-in-law, I immediately went into the room and gave it 10,000 yuan to her. I said to her: Mom, I originally planned to buy you a bracelet for your birthday. I heard that the elderly wear it. Jade bracelets are good for your health. Go buy one tomorrow!
My mother-in-law refused to give up and said: My child, as long as you are good to your mother, it’s okay for her to know. You don’t need to show it to anyone! Besides, business is not easy to do now!
I said: I just want to prove it to them. And all this money is earned by your son, so just take it! Besides, while you are here, I don’t have to take care of anything at home, even if I hire a nanny, I still have to pay for it!
This afternoon, I saw my mother-in-law showing off in the yard wearing a bracelet from afar.
Put away your dislike of your mother-in-law! Everyone gets old one day! When people get old, they really don’t care about their children, as long as the family can be happy together.
It seems that you are not a kind-hearted daughter-in-law, a kind-hearted person, but you have the nerve to show it to others and make yourself look ugly. Your husband is your husband and your mother-in-law’s son. If you can possess his son, he can also possess your husband. For you, for your husband, and for her son, the only thing between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is to protect this man together. , the family is prosperous. Isn’t it good for the mother-in-law to visit her son, daughter-in-law, and grandson every day? Do you have to make a fuss and never interact with each other until you die? Let me tell you here, no matter how bad your mother-in-law is, no matter how dissatisfied you are, and no matter how much you dislike her, she is still a member of your family, and you can never get rid of her. I would like to ask if she falls ill and is bedridden, will you and your husband really leave her alone? Here I would like to advise the host, if you don’t want to call your mother-in-law, do you know what your child thinks? Are you not afraid of retribution for being like this? When you are old and your son and daughter-in-law treat you like this, who do you blame? My words above may be a little harsh, but I mean no harm. Of course, as a mother-in-law, you should also examine yourself. Why doesn’t your daughter-in-law want to see you? Don't like you coming? As the saying goes, a slap cannot make a difference.
It seems that this daughter-in-law is not afraid of other people’s jokes, and she exposes the bad relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law to the public; in order to deal with her mother-in-law, she asks everyone for "tactful" ways. Since I was invited by you, let me share some personal opinions.
Let me ask you first, who is your husband, mother-in-law? You will definitely say that she is your husband’s biological mother; in this case, you should know that it was your parents-in-law who gave your husband life and worked hard to raise him; they helped him start a family and start a business, and gave you a warm home; it is only natural for mother to come to her son’s house, grandma thought It is natural for my grandson to enter his own house. Is it wrong? You know, pity the hearts of parents in the world. The reason why your mother-in-law comes to your door to make you happy is because the old man cares about your younger generation. It is a blessing for the younger generation to have an old man who cares about you. You should feel happy and proud and warmly welcome your mother-in-law to your home. Is it okay to shut out the elderly? Could it be that you can’t tolerate your husband’s own mother? Is it because your mother-in-law worked so hard to help you bring up your children, and now you want to burn down the bridges instead of destroying them? I think if you need a mother-in-law now, you would like to have her live in your home.
People need to be considerate and put themselves in someone else’s shoes. If your mother always comes to visit your grandson, should you also tactfully persuade her not to come home? I think you would never do that, because she is the mother who gave birth to you and raised you. I wish your mother could stay with you all day long. If you don't see her for a whole day, I might have to make a video call. In comparison, look at your attitude towards your mother-in-law, it's like heaven and earth.
What would you think if your husband didn’t let your mother come to the house? What can you do? I think you will definitely not agree, and you will even get angry and quarrel with your husband.
If you become a mother-in-law in the future, your daughter-in-law will also use your methods; if your grandson 1 does not let you come to the house, you will definitely wipe the tears of sadness every day.
Young people! Think more about how to honor the elderly, and don’t always think about ways to “deal with” the elderly. Mother-in-law and daughter-in-law tolerate each other, and the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is harmonious; a harmonious family is a perfect and happy home.
You can’t be selfish, I hope you can understand the old man’s mood!
Why do I say this to you? Because your child is her grandson, and grandma is here to see her grandson. Old people, they all have the idea of ????passing generations! All love grandchildren! I just come to see my grandson more and spend more time with you.
Besides, you probably don’t have the power to prevent her from seeing her grandson, right? At least you can’t get through from your husband!
Grandma comes to see her grandson and can give you a helping hand. Wouldn’t it be easier for you? Why not?
Even if you don’t want your mother-in-law to come every day! You should also communicate with your mother-in-law, explain your reasons and reasons, and gain her understanding.
Or you can communicate with your husband first to get your husband’s approval and let him do your mother-in-law’s ideological work, which is easy to do and will not affect the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law! This is the wisest choice!
We might as well consider this issue from another angle!
If it were your mother, would you think the same way?
If not, then why! Once you find the crux, it's easy to solve the problem!
You may also be a mother-in-law. If you give birth to a boy, you also want to see your grandson one day. If your daughter-in-law thinks the same as you do now, how would you feel?
Are you planning to take care of your children at home for a long time in the future?
If not, and you still expect your mother-in-law to help you take care of your children in the future, just be tolerant!
Your children, her grandchildren, are all loved!
Your mother-in-law, your husband’s mother, the whole family, why bother!
Everyone said it was a tactful way to ask her not to come every day. Those who criticize her father and mother are not jumping up and down. They even scolded the questioner as uneducated. You must be the most uneducated! You always stand on the moral high ground and criticize others. Where is your education? The conflict between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law has been going on for a long time in China. The subject of this thread did not criticize her mother-in-law. She just wanted to have her own living space. She neither said she would not let her see her nor that she would not support her mother-in-law in her old age. Why are you so excited? Is it interesting to scold someone’s parents? No matter your parents or parents-in-law, you should not get too involved in the lives of younger generations, and you should leave enough private space for young people. In some families, the mother-in-law and father-in-law understand the truth and live together, and everyone is harmonious, but not every family is like this, and I have always felt that male and female parents should be treated equally. They should be filial to their parents-in-law every day, and their parents only go back occasionally. After just one look, you think you have done a good job. Are you really filial to such a person? Have you fulfilled your obligations to your parents? What right do you have to accuse others? You even boast about how filial you are to your parents-in-law. How can you be so filial if your parents-in-law don’t make money and don’t have any property? Double standards, very good!
The answer above is not what you asked. Regarding the question, I think you can tell your husband that you can send your children to your parents-in-law’s house to spend a day with them during the weekend. Sometimes you can still live together as two people, and at night Picking them up and bringing them back by yourself will not tire the elderly, but also satisfy their desire to see their grandchildren. Take two nights from Monday to Friday to take the children back for dinner, and ask your husband to tell your mother-in-law that it is hard to run around like this every day. Say you often take your child out, and sometimes you don’t see her when she comes. Children also need to rest. It is important to develop good living habits for children. If you see them frequently, the child needs to sleep, and it happens that the mother-in-law comes. , is likely to disrupt the child's biological clock. As long as she is a reasonable mother-in-law, she will understand if she explains it well. If she is not the kind of reasonable mother-in-law, she will make it clear that walking three times a day is disrupting your life. Neither I nor my parents would do anything like this to overly interfere in the lives of younger people. So trolls, please shut up.
It seems that the subject of the question is a woman with considerable ability in life.
A person has to take care of children and take care of the housework. Even if you are a full-time housewife, it is quite tiring without help!
Your mother-in-law comes to your house three times a day to help, and in between she has to go back to cook for your father-in-law. It’s so hard!
I don’t know whether the person in the question feels sorry for your mother-in-law because she is overworked, or you hate her for interfering in your life and making you feel disgusted? Judging from the title, you don’t want your mother-in-law to help, it’s too annoying! But it was hard to say no.
Ask your husband to go find your father-in-law and let him pretend to be sick for a few days. Your mother-in-law will naturally take on the responsibility and take care of him at home. It's also a good time for you to test whether you are capable of taking care of the children alone and doing housework without the help of your mother-in-law. Then make your final decision!
Gratitude is the basic moral bottom line of life. Please protect your bottom line!
I would like to ask two questions from the subject; 1. Does your mother-in-law come to your house to help you with things, clean things, take care of the children, or does she come to check on the hygiene? Or does she come and make your house a mess and point fingers? If not, then I'm just here to see my grandson. Doesn't she know that it makes you uncomfortable? According to what you said, your mother-in-law's house is not far away. Why is she so shameless and mean? Doesn’t she understand that there are high and low levels of people? Doesn’t she know that your family is a noble family that is beyond her reach? Or is there nowhere to go but your home? I suggest you come tomorrow and drive her away with a broom. 2. You said that the child should be a stay-at-home mother before the child is three years old, but then what? Need a nanny? Don't ask your mother-in-law to help you. If she looks at your child too much, she may become incapable of doing it. Remember this!
Why does your mother-in-law come to your house every day? If there weren't people she loved and cared about here, do you think she really wanted to come?
You have her son and grandson at home. When you are old, you don’t go shopping to pass the time like young people do in your free time. The old man is afraid of being alone. What’s wrong with coming to see your grandson?
If your biological mother comes every day, you will definitely not have any objection, but if your husband does, what will you think?
Put yourself in someone else's shoes. You are also a mother. Don't you understand the love a mother has for her children? Although her grandson is your child, she loves your child no less than you do.
I believe your mother-in-law didn’t come to your house just to wait for dinner, right? I will definitely help you take care of your children and comfort them. Wouldn’t you like it if someone helped you share the burden?
It’s really hard to be a mother-in-law now! If you don’t visit your grandson for a day, your daughter-in-law will tell you that you don’t want to help take care of the child. If you don’t visit your grandson every day, you will be disliked by others. No matter what you do, it’s wrong!
Things are changing. Think about your own future. If you want your children to know what it means to be filial to the elderly, then set a good example for your children!
Seeing this question, I want to say that it is really difficult to be a mother-in-law today! Some daughter-in-laws find fault with their mothers-in-law for not visiting their grandchildren often, but this daughter-in-law doesn’t want to see her mother-in-law come to the house every day...
This daughter-in-law, you really don’t want to see your mother-in-law. I don’t know what your mother-in-law has done to you, and she makes you worried. She just doesn’t want to see your mother-in-law come here every day.
You are already anxious about this. Ask your husband to tell his mother, Mom, if you are fine, don’t come over. You don’t need to see your grandson, and you don’t need to see us? No son would be able to say this!
Since you are anxious, you can tell your mother-in-law in person. You can tell your mother-in-law that you are old and you don’t need to come here every day. You can just take good care of you and your father-in-law at home. Ask your husband to take the children back to see your mother-in-law every weekend.
You will get old one day, and you will know when the time comes. When you are old, you are really a bitch. You go to see your grandson one day without knowing it, and you annoy your daughter-in-law, so you raise your son. When they grow up, they buy a house, marry a wife, see their son get married, have a wife, and have children. They are happy to be old people. They also like it when they see their grandchildren, so they are kissing each other.
I hope you can understand your mother-in-law better. She is not an enemy, she is the mother of the husband you love. Without your mother-in-law, where would the husband you love come from? If you can't love the house and the bird, don't bother your mother-in-law. How you treat your mother-in-law, your husband will treat his mother-in-law.
@清信笑 Thank you all for reading and watching. If you have anything to say about this issue, you are welcome to leave a comment below.