Tomb-Sweeping Day's daughter's rules of going to the grave.
Customs vary from place to place.
Unmarried daughters can't go to the grave.
In some villages in southwestern Shandong and central and southern Shandong, unmarried daughters can't go to the cemetery of the deceased, which is even an inviolable family rule. If there are no children at home, let the son and nephew in the next room do it for them. This is my daughter's, not her own, so my daughter can't go to her family's grave. She is her husband's family after marriage, so she can go to her husband's family's grave.
A married daughter cannot go to the grave.
Some places think that the married daughter belongs to someone else's family. If there is a son at home, no one in the family wants her to go back to her family to visit the grave, for fear that others will say that there is no one at home. Only a family without a son can a girl return to the family grave. Some people think that after their daughters get married, they can't sweep their ancestral graves, otherwise they will take away their geomantic omen. Traditionally, in a nutshell, married women belong to the husband's family. She won't and can't sweep someone's grave. She can't be buried on her parents' land in a hundred years. This concept is generally believed? Daughters don't pass it on to future generations? . Only the names of sons and daughters can be engraved on the tombstones of ancestors, while the names of girls are generally not engraved on the tombstones of parents and ancestors. In some places, this custom continues to this day.
Whether you are married or not, you can go to the grave.
The traditional concept is more because of the concept that men are superior to women, so that there are many sayings about daughters going to the grave. But now it is emphasized that boys and girls are the same, daughters are as important as sons, and many families are only daughters, so this concept has been changing. As long as parents and elders do not have the idea of son preference, then natural daughters can go to the grave whether they are married or not.
Pay attention to the daughter's grave.
1. Sick women can't go to the grave. If they have to go, they must wear amulets, such as jade or jade Buddha.
2. Pregnant women and women who come to the festival can't go to the grave;
3. A woman who only has a girlfriend but is not formally married can't accompany her boyfriend to visit the grave.
In some places, it is also stipulated that a woman whose husband died less than three years ago can't go to the grave.
5. For families with new wives and newly born children, Tomb-Sweeping Day must take the new wives and newly born mothers to visit the graves this year. First of all, explain that ancestors belong to sects, and then comfort ancestors: there are new people in the family! If such a family goes to the grave, they should set off firecrackers. In the curling cigarette that sets off firecrackers, a couple kowtows and salutes at the grave, while children are asked to be held and saluted by adults. What are they talking about? Father (mother) and daughter-in-law (grandson) salute you! ? Of course, how to call it depends on the identity and seniority of the ancestors.
6. The new daughter-in-law or newborn who goes to the grave must not wear plain clothes, but must wear festive clothes, at least a red dress and an ornament. One is to report good news, so that ancestors can see the branches and leaves at home and add people to import them; The second is to ward off evil spirits and not let ghosts around you invade. It is these festive colors that add different meanings to Tomb-Sweeping Day's grave-sweeping, and also symbolize the continuation of this life and the inheritance of incense.
Brief introduction of Tomb-Sweeping Day's grave-sweeping dress.
Tomb-Sweeping Day generally chooses plain colors to sweep graves. Some people think that when sweeping graves, we should avoid wearing black clothes, and wear bright colors such as red or yellow, on the grounds that black clothes easily irritate Yin Qi. This view is unreasonable. In fact, wearing black clothes is more solemn and solemn, which can express grief for ancestors. It is not appropriate to wear red and green clothes when sweeping graves. This kind of clothes is not in harmony with the atmosphere of sweeping graves, and it may also appear disrespectful to the deceased, so it is better to wear plain clothes.
In addition, when sweeping the grave, it is often necessary to cultivate the soil to repair the grave. If you wear too much and too complicated, you may be inflexible and clumsy. In addition, there will be plants such as Ziziphus jujuba and Pueraria lobata growing in the cemetery, which are very stinging and should not wear expensive clothes. When the grave is finished, sacrifices should be offered to burn incense, and the younger generation should kneel and kowtow to the deceased. Women wearing one-step skirts will also be awkward and inconvenient to move.
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