People are all mutually beneficial to each other. Only by comparing one's feelings with one's own can you win people's hearts.
In life, as long as you come into contact with others, you will inevitably encounter bumps and bumps.
If we can put ourselves in others' shoes and be more understanding and considerate of others, there will be much fewer conflicts and misunderstandings between people.
As the Analects of Confucius said:
"If you are generous to yourself and do not blame others, you will be far away from resentment."
Don't blame others at will. A person's best cultivation.
01
There is a story to the effect:
A doctor received a call for surgery, and he rushed over as quickly as possible. The boy's father asked the doctor how his child was doing.
The doctor smiled calmly and asked him to pray for his son.
The boy's father was even more angry because the doctor was too arrogant, had no bearing on other people's lives, and did not know how to take care of other people's emotions.
A few hours later, the operation went very smoothly and the child was saved. When the father told the doctor, the doctor still did not express congratulations and did not seem to have any sympathy. He just told him that it was true. Ask questions to the nurse.
At this time, the father became furious and accused him of being so arrogant.
Faced with the accusation, the doctor did not defend himself, but chose to leave.
However, if the nurse hadn't mentioned it, the man wouldn't have known that the doctor's son had died in a traffic accident yesterday. He was on his way to the funeral parlor when the hospital called him to come over for surgery.
He had saved the man's son and was now rushing to complete his son's funeral.
At this time, the boy's father felt ashamed of his attitude and the cruel words he had said.
Many times, we always like to consider problems from our own perspective without knowing what others have experienced. When you know what others have experienced, then I believe you will not blame the other person.
Not blaming someone when something happens is the best Feng Shui for a person.
When conflicts occur, you should think more about others, instead of blindly blaming and complaining endlessly from your own perspective.
Because you never know what just happened in other people's lives.
02
My colleague Momo’s face was dark all morning. I asked her the reason during lunch and found out that she had quarreled with her husband again and was getting divorced. .
After I listened, I told her something that happened to me.
My husband didn’t cook in the past. Although he occasionally cooked, sometimes he did so reluctantly.
Later, I became very fond of cooking, and every time I cooked, I was happy and humming a little tune.
Before, we had a big fight about cooking.
The reason was that he went to the kitchen to work in the kitchen right after he got home from get off work. I didn’t help him so I stopped talking. Finally, I accused him of cooking unpalatable food and said that all dishes have the same taste. There is no innovation at all.
Then, after criticizing every dish on the dinner table, his face became darker and darker, saying that you didn’t do anything and asked for too much.
So the two people started to quarrel.
Later, I used a method to improve this problem.
If the food is too salty when he cooks it, I will say that today’s dish is quite good for rice, and I can eat two more bowls of rice; if he puts too much water in the rice, I will say that it is soft. A little bit is good for the stomach.
Every time he listened to this, he was very benefited.
Sometimes, I would find something that needed to be adjusted, and then discuss it with me calmly. We have never had any quarrels about this matter, and he is more attentive to cooking.
Many times, when we encounter something, we like to blame others indiscriminately.
Regardless of whether it will hurt others, I just want to be happy for a while.
Those who think they are right impose their own understanding on others.
However, in a marriage, blind accusation will only make the two people's hearts grow further apart, while praise will make him willing to become what you like.
Lao Tzu said:
"To walk on the great road, do not blame others."
Not blaming others when things happen not only reflects your tolerance for others. , and also make married life more harmonious, which can be said to kill two birds with one stone.
03
An episode of the variety show "Human Laboratory" made people feel very angry.
When passers-by see a man who is tall, strong and covered in tattoos, they will think that he must not be a good person.
When I see a woman who is plump and voluptuous, I feel that she must not be a good woman.
When I see people cosplaying, I always think others are pretending to be cute.
In fact, the person who plays cospaly turned out to be a primary school music teacher. Because he particularly likes children and the two-dimensional dimension, he is not understood by others. In fact, what does this mean?
In life, we always like to judge others from our own perspective, thinking that we know it very well. In fact, if you don’t understand other people’s lives, you can’t empathize with others, let alone blame and criticize at will. Blame someone else.
Rabindranath Tagore once said:
"Don't blame your food because you have no appetite."
You are not me and will never understand me. Life.
A truly mature person never blames others at will, because you have not experienced his experience or felt his feelings.
As the saying goes:
"Sit quietly and think about your own mistakes, and don't talk about others' mistakes."
Thinking about your own mistakes is a kind of education rooted in the heart , because really good people know how not to blame others when things happen.
May you be gentle to others, and may you be treated gently by the world.
***Mian.