High score! Ask an expert to make a perspective or psychological analysis of my current situation ~ urgent ~

Don't get excited and don't worry. This kind of thing often happens to me. I don't think your behavior is abnormal, it's just a way of venting or can be understood as a way of transferring. Because you are exhausted by your dreams and your own guesses, you want to rest but don't have a good sleep, so your subconscious is eager for a way to escape this pain, at least temporarily, so you will choose to find something to watch. If you look for more things, you will think about yourself. I can't help saying something, just write it down. Writing it down means hinting at yourself. If you write it, you will be very happy. But you don't want to end this temporary improvement, so subconscious and psychological hints tell yourself not to stop. You can't stop because you want him to keep thinking, not stop! I suggest that you don't put your mental state in a tense atmosphere. No one forces you to make any response or choice as soon as possible. You put too much pressure on yourself. It is normal for ghosts to press their beds, but when you are highly nervous, insomnia and depression are accompanied by the long-term separation of lovers in your life, and you make things so serious that you give yourself the illusion. This is a very serious matter and I must solve it at once. So I forced myself to look up information, see things and write things in order to solve them satisfactorily and get rid of my psychological balance. But you know what? The more you do this, the worse your situation will be. You should relax and find a reasonable way to release yourself. For example, take a walk, listen to light music or chat with a good friend. If you want to go to him, go to him. Maybe you will feel at ease when you meet him, and these things will fade. Don't be afraid to tell him about it. He loves you, naturally blesses you and is willing to make you happy. You may be lonely. Go find him. Changes in the environment may change your mood. Some things may be seen more clearly and accurately from another angle, and you will never see clearly in chess. You can also forget about it, wait a long time, be quiet, and then run out. Remember, no matter what, you are not alone, you still have him! Don't be depressed. Although I am not an expert, I became a doctor after a long illness. I hope I can help you, and I hope you can get together soon.