It is said that women are made of water. In fact, a good woman is feng shui at home. A good woman can be prosperous for three generations, and her husband is prosperous, even more.
If a mother always despises her father, one will dampen your father's enthusiasm, and men's self-esteem is particularly strong. If you always say that he is not good, he will really get worse and worse. When you have time to read Carnegie's The Weakness of Human Nature, people often brag about it. No matter how many imperfections he has, you should not only see his shortcomings, enlarge them infinitely and find fault with him. Isn't this your own pleasure?
You should learn to praise him more and see his merits. You hope he doesn't change too bluntly. To put it mildly, you can change the best. If you can't change, change yourself. It's not a saying that it's a psycho who always wants to change others, and it's God who can change himself.
When you always like to find fault with someone, in fact, in the end, you are not dissatisfied with this person, but with yourself and your present life. You feel that everything is not going according to your original expectations. You feel that life is not as beautiful as you imagined, so you have to vent, and you have to find an outlet for your emotions.
Naturally, your disappointing husband became a thorn in your side. You can't do anything to see him. You may even feel that your life today is not as comfortable as your little sister. Without their money, you will be attributed to your husband's incompetence. In fact, this is typical of not managing your emotions, so your life will only get worse and worse, even affecting your children.
Everyone has emotions, but if you can't control your emotions well, your child will be very painful. She will be afraid of getting married and becoming someone like you. A good father is equivalent to 100 principals, but the mother always belittles the father in front of the children, so the father can't establish any authority in front of the children, which leads to his inability to communicate well with the children and educate them well. The whole family is moving in the opposite direction and becoming more and more alienated.
You obviously want to make this family better, you obviously want to make your husband better, you obviously want your children to have a happy family, but in the end it backfired. Some people say that all happy families are similar, and each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.
Give me an example. A couple born after 1980s, with their children in kindergarten, usually have a good relationship. That is, men prefer to play games. When they play games, they forget everything. They play games when they get home from work, and nothing else matters.
In the later days, they quarreled every day, and the woman scolded him: I have to take care of everything at home, and I don't expect you to cook and wash dishes. My son doesn't care what you can do except play games. If you go on like this, you will be in your thirties. People of your age have long been the backbone of the family and are still enjoying the cool under the big tree.
Noisy every day, the atmosphere at home becomes very strange, and the situation of playing games has not changed at all. What the woman said is very reasonable, but it is virtually belittling the man. All she can see is how bad he is. There is no good place at all. This kind of emotional complaint is not good for the status quo you want to change, and may even bring side effects.
You have to negotiate with him, and of course negotiation also requires skill. You said it was understandable to play games after a busy day, and you had no other hobbies. Then, before playing games, you should finish some of your own work. For example, as a father, you should spend more time with your child, even if it is to play with him. Children need their father's company when they grow up, such as sharing some housework.
I once listened to a lecture on psychology. What does the professor say is the biggest difference between men and women? Is that women like to beat around the bush, men like to go straight. For example, when a woman wants a gift on Valentine's Day, she will tell her husband that so-and-so has received a bag and so-and-so has received an Apple mobile phone, and then her husband will listen. Then you sulk around. Why is this man so ungrateful? Even if he doesn't have a gift, it doesn't mean to remind him.
In fact, he didn't understand your innuendo. He thought you would tell her the truth, so he called you back. There's no need to get angry. You can just tell him what I want to buy for Valentine's Day today. If he had, he would have called. Try it if you don't believe me. Tell him what you need him to do, and he will carry it out.
But you saw his problem. If you want to scold him, you'd better be tactful, which will help solve the problem. Now that you are 25 years old, it's time to fall in love. You take your mother as a negative example, take it as a warning, and guide her to conduct appropriate psychological counseling. As long as the psychology is passable, women are generally quite easy to talk to. Might as well try.
Being born in a family really affects a person. Maybe your parents are old and some behavior habits are hard to change, but you are still young and you can judge what is good and what is not. You can take the essence and discard the dross, change the status quo and live the life you want.