Part 1
In my hometown of northern Shaanxi, the overgrown trees and weeds have already covered up the barren and barren mountain ridges in people’s habitual impressions, and the ditches in the mountains are occasionally filled with birds and swallows. There were even sounds of cranes and fish in the water and cackling wild pigeons and pheasants. In my mind, I subconsciously had the joy and rush of the spring breeze accompanying me to go home, and the warm sadness and resentment that I couldn't bear to abandon had been hidden deep in my heart. The love is picked up casually by thoughts, and the love becomes more and more heavy with the waves of time, but the heart is moved by the wheel going north to become more relaxed and even sweet.
Those unforgettable and interesting past events in my hometown are like a picture that will never fade. The eight smoke curls that are always scattered around and have different fragrances; Or the cave dwellings made of stacked green brick hoops, which are warm in winter and cool in summer, and are burned by firewood at night, which makes the heart burn and the lungs are so hot that the dreams accompany sleep; It is very similar to the swing that is tied up with well ropes on the branches of the old locust tree every Qingming Festival and is swinging high and high by gay men and women; the dry land is always tied to the waist of the male owner There is a large locked water cellar in Dojing that can collect rainwater and quench thirst for more than 10 years; living under the sun mother-in-law makes her feel messy and annoying, but occasionally the children and grandchildren in front of her pass by, but she can jump up and grab the penis. The dusty grandfathers and the lazy pigs running around in the narrow alleys scoured the dirty cats, mad dogs, teased the idle chickens and fierce donkeys to take a closer look at the scenery where the cows chewed cud and foam was flying everywhere.
Tianzhuang Town Houxiang Natural Village is the largest village in the northern edge of Huangling County, Yan'an City, Shaanxi Province. Although I was not born in this place because my parents worked in other places, there is no miscellaneous village here or even in the whole town. The town with the only surname Ge spent the hardest and sweetest time in my life. This is indeed my hometown, because my father, my father and I are all the eldest in the family according to the clan rules. Naturally, I am the leader of the clan, and because I have been making a living in other places for these years, I only come back when there is trouble in my hometown. Although those affectionate memories are fresh and fresh, those closest relatives in the village are already quite unfamiliar, and they often come back to me. Returning to the indispensable many sincere greetings, I walked through the streets and alleys and entered the kiln. After placing my old heart on the hot earthen bed, since I am old, I will get used to it sooner or later. Known as Lao Ge, I will always occupy a hill of loess here, which is my final destination.
The spring breeze does not understand love and does not understand the ordinary heart. It insists that longing disturbs the mortal world. Although the wanderer wanders thousands of miles, the nostalgia has solidified into a sweet and fragrant fragrance that always lingers in the heart and nourishes the soul. Those bumps in the hometown The bumps and bumps sometimes combined with the ups and downs of my time in a foreign country made me become a man who has no regrets for my old age and has no hesitation. No matter how noisy and noisy the world is, the struggle for fame and interests has been able to make my heart as silent as smoke and always contain what I should have. That simplicity and magnanimity, I have long been accustomed to falling and getting up, I have long been accustomed to having nothing, I have long been accustomed to being injured again and again, I have long been accustomed to being solitary at night, the tossing and turning of those brick kilns and earthen courtyards, Huangqiangwu Village and those The sleepless nights of hastily picking up my bags and wandering around the world have become a journey in the world of mortals in exchange for a fleeting past. Occasionally writing about the sunset in the dusk of life, savoring the mottled and relieved memories, how many romances you have had before you sing and I will appear. They all turned into dreamlike flowing clouds in the sky. The passage of time has left ruthless traces like soft ripples. The feeling of stepping forward still feels light and rewarding.
After decades of wandering in the mortal world, the billowing dust has quietly changed its appearance, and the falling dust tells a soliloquy of frustration. How many tears can you bear? How many rivers of hardship and sweat have flowed through? How many wings have been cut? Can we reach the ideal destination? No longer intoxicated by the colorful and strange short-term dreams, let the years wash away the vast smoke and dust, drift away the last clouds, and enjoy the evening fragrance of the sunset.
Walking on the snow, chasing the sweet smile in the beautiful scenery of dreams; touching the stars, releasing the arrogant hope in the ideal in the heart. The catharsis of the day has been swallowed up by the night, and everything is settling in the quiet teacup, perfunctory with the hypocrisy of the cliff of the soul, and the intoxication of listening to lies in a willful way. Silently waiting for the hardship after betrayal, the blue sky blurred the flowing rhythm of the six-stringed guqin.
Yuyoumeng's affectionate thoughts linger in the soul, love and forgiveness sing about the infinite things in the world, and she clings to the false attachment. Her parents look at each other and blur the sorrows and joys of the world, which plays the role of the sparsely populated orphanage. The sun sets.
The cruelty of helplessness is suffocating. In a hurry to complete this lonely journey, even if you return home with nothing to serve your parents, you still express your filial piety a hundredfold with empty pens. You forget the sunshine during the day and the stars and moon at night. Why not return to your hometown with love?
Buddha said: No matter whether you are poor or rich, you can get rid of the worldly thoughts and become purified; whether you gain or lose, you can throw away all the emptiness and become fully enlightened. Although the crystal-clear Zen words are whispered in shallow rhymes, I have not forgotten that I have worked hard to be eloquent for alms; I have been opportunistic to make fasting porridge like a mirror; I have been racking my brains and intrigues to run the temple; I have been competing for vegetarian dishes. Big and small, cold and evil. The pure land of Buddhism is empty. How can my heart be pure and greedy towards Buddha? In the cold hometown, I used a pen to mention the past that could only rot in my stomach. I drank in anger and was drunk and speechless. I closed my eyes and let my heart sink, letting the ups and downs of emotions cool down and flow back into my heart. Love and hate control the kindness and weakness of human nature.
It has taken me a long way to know how to cherish, and I have tasted too many things to know how to remember. In addition to family, love, friendship, there is also the hope of romance and warmth by staying at the door and looking forward to it. The nostalgia that is unforgettable in my life. As I grow up and get older, the nostalgia seems to be pulled by an invisible force. When I think of it, I no longer feel sad and lonely. My mind is full of nostalgia. No matter how old or old I am, Nostalgia is still as attached to the flowers and plants of heaven and earth in the four seasons, and dreams are still the same. How can we forget the sweetness that disappears and appears at that time, just like a call, which will always be engraved in the bottom of my heart.
People are not grass and trees, how can they be ruthless? No matter how strong the wind or rain, the frankness and concern for the hometown and relatives are the intoxicating acquaintance, the free and easy passing, one flower, one world, one tree, one Bodhi. , no matter the world is lonely and complicated, the deep and long stay with one's hometown and relatives is a wonderful touch of soul-stirring love. Life goes round and round in the passing of time. Nostalgia refines the care of lovesickness, and the thoughts are deep in the heart. Then the vast world spreads its wings and soars, and the homesick love embraces each other and stays behind. Life is like a play but not a play. The beauty that cannot be returned is the most primitive and pure and beautiful paradise that can attract people's soul.
Although the concern that does not change the original intention is not as fresh and mellow as tea, it occupies the body and mind and makes people remember the lingering and tugging eternal prayers and blessings. The love is still unstoppable, and the heart remains unchanged for three generations. I firmly believe that there is no clear understanding without a life-long commitment, and I know that without the blood-melting persistence, there is no calm persistence. The tenderness that seems silent but firmly ties me back, how many beautiful stories are better than However, the unparalleled friendship of family, love, friendship and nostalgia leaves a piece of pure land in the heart, inviting those who love me and those who love me and those who hate and hate me to enjoy the feast of life surrounded by this life, and perhaps we can reunite with each other. The hot kang in the earthen kiln in my hometown, every plant, every tree, every brick and every eaves was so heartfelt that I turned my bones into ashes and dived into the dust to thicken my ancient and magical hometown!
Part 2
The sun was a bit cold due to the cold, and the remaining snow on the back was a bit shy. The birds that once danced and sang wildly on the plateau were gone. The naked old tree above was shaking and twitching its branches, and the local accent was heard in my ears, but it lacked a lot of the kindness that I once chewed and savored in my heart. Although I left my hometown when I was young, because I am the eldest in our generation and will be the future patriarch, Every time I return, I inevitably receive many affectionate greetings. I just walk across the street and enter the kiln, placing my old-hearted self on the hot earthen bed.
The centenary-year-old second master drove to the west, and I came back again. It seemed that I had a date with death, so I took the many brothers who I didn’t know kneeling behind me to look at me. The 80-year-old father, who had a refined appearance, burst into tears respectfully and sincerely.
There are two rows of small benches placed on the edge of the lane. On one side, sitting on a slightly higher bench are the Third Master, the Fifth Master and their sons who are all grandfathers. Almost everyone has a burning cigarette. , basically holding a spare cigarette in their ears. On the lower bench on the other side were sitting a few grandmothers and mothers who were already grandmothers. They came out on time to bask in the sun. The weather was gloomy today, and the sun Fading and appearing, the cold wind whistled along the alley. In fact, they came out to bask in the habit they had developed over the years in the name of sunbathing.
Since the second master passed away, they had the topic of recollecting their memories. When the men loudly recited and savored the wonderful and heroic story of the second master passing five levels and killing six generals, they still did not forget to remember themselves. Drinking rice soup and peeing on the kang also evolved into something beautiful and majestic that resembled a story or legend. The smoke they exhaled ran away with the wind, but the past they talked about floated into the ears of future generations and became actually a story. History; the girls were talking softly about the romantic affairs that the second master may have had or never had at all, but they forced the handsome second master to create their ideal true love affair, Just because of this romance, they started to snicker coyly, and their faces even turned apple red.
They seemed unwilling to grieve for their newly deceased second master, because in their seemingly ordinary and casual hearts, they knew that the day they would sleep would probably come at any time. Since there is a day when everyone must die, Why do you have to make yourself nervous and anxious? Although they all live a somewhat impatient life, they are indeed reluctant to give up this disturbing impatience on an excuse.
It was time to have dinner, and the gongs and drums sounded, and they became anxious like children, because this was a grand play for the death of the second master, and they were the audience who had to be present, so Just eat and watch while holding the glutinous rice dumplings in your hands, and let everything that catches your eyes, ears, and stomach stay or hide in your heart.
The town no longer has the familiarity in memory, but there are many fashionable things that have to be familiar with. Brothers and sisters gather from all over the world, and the mother still strongly abides by the father's extravagance for his second big funeral, and even It is a waste of boldness. My mother has led my father with her eloquent words all her life, but often she is intoxicated by the seemingly majestic nagging, and still has to succumb to my father's cute presumption again and again.
My dad is an old scholar with a lot of books. He is very strict but kind at ordinary times. But whenever there is a wedding or funeral in his hometown, my dad who is ready to run will be overwhelmed by his gang. The younger brother's "boss" compliments one after another magically accelerated like a rocket. At this moment, the father became 100% cute with dignity.
The grandparents all lived long lives and were tortured by future generations, but they could not withstand the abomination of time. Now only the third master and the fifth master who are nearly a hundred years old are left. The third master is still lonely and basking in the lonely sun. , the fifth master is still guarding the lonely stove, hugging each other, my parents are old, and I am also habitually called Lao Ge. Why don't I feel that I have grown old all of a sudden? Now that we are all old, are we still far away from this ancient village and the yellow land of this village?
Part 3
The sky is cloudy and my eyes are wet. I am already on the way back, and the wheels are racing. In this state of mind, yesterday evening, my thousands of books on etiquette, filial piety, benevolence, righteousness, and virtue were basically full of heart. My father called me and told me that he was going to take advantage of the Qingming Festival to arrogantly build a monument for his second father, who was riding a dragon and a crane to the west at the age of 100, to show his courtesy and discipline to the public. I was so strict about this matter. The strong-spoken mother really couldn't bear to continue to criticize the father's arrogance for a long time. The mother was heartbroken and grieved for his nephew Liu Minsheng who passed away at a young age at noon yesterday. I was so confused that I had to rush back to my hometown from Xi'an to accompany my elders to take care of all the chores and attend the funeral of my cousin Minsheng who was suffering from hardship. In recent years, I seemed to be really careless. Every time I was called back to my hometown, I basically just participated in the funeral. The funerals of old relatives feel as if I have really become close to death and have an appointment with death.
There is thick fog outside the car window. It will be Qingming tomorrow. I no longer expect to see the sun that always feels old and boring today. The sound of wheels rolling over the road is as miserable as skin torn flesh. Oh my god, this disturbing voice lured my memory back to a day three years ago: that was when I was carrying pigs through the streets while holding a memorial ceremony for my second master who died at the age of 100 and went to the underworld. A little stranger behind me told me that there was an old woman who had been following the sacrifice procession and staring at me. When I turned around, it was my eldest sister with tears in her eyes. She stepped forward to greet her and asked her to go to my hometown. She was enjoying a short break at home, but she received a cold look from her old man. Alas, she was still grieving that my uncle had passed away and I had lost my life before I came home. With a smile and a slight scolding, she finally invited her old man into her home.
The arrival of the eldest son brought a lot of sadness to the cave dwelling. It turned out that his second cousin Minsheng had been hospitalized in Xi'an due to vomiting blood. The 78-year-old eldest son walked more than ten miles to the town early in the morning to give birth to a child. My cousin who is hospitalized in Xi'an paid for it.
Da Jinzi was born into a wealthy family. She was the sweet daughter of her mother's family. She married the eldest son of my maternal grandfather who came to Shaanxi from Shandong to beg for food during the famine. However, he never had children and had no choice but to raise two sons and one daughter, Scholar, Minsheng and Ling'er. When he grew up, the scholar who married and had children turned into a white-eyed wolf. He lived across the wall but had no contact with his uncle's family. Ling'er married away from his hometown, and only this sick young man stayed by his side and remained filial.
More than 20 years ago, Minsheng’s wife left her two sons and one daughter, aged between one and ten, to go with the railway workers to defend her sacred and unconventional love. From then on, Minsheng found no daughter who dared to marry him. He never remarried, and with the help of relatives, he raised his three children to be college students. They all got married in other provinces and lived at home. But when it was time to enjoy happiness, his uncle passed away and people were suffering from many diseases. The eldest son was so full of tears that he still had to travel around. The tears flowed and the words were spoken. It was time for the eldest sister to go back. Mom, me, the eldest sister, and the second sister each took out hundreds of yuan and stuffed them into her hands to express mutual comfort, and then took them to the street and bought some more strips. Cigarettes, tea boxes, noodles and bottles of wine made her cry as she set out on the mountain road home. The older woman's retreating figure had become a looming dot. My mother, my son, and my daughter both stopped and shed tears. In these tears There is love, regret, and even some heart-wrenching pain.
Who would have thought that my cousin Minsheng, who is two years older than me, has been destitute and ruined his family due to the cost of long-term medication for treatment, and that his relatives and children have no choice but to support him. My cousin Minsheng has been tortured by the disease for nearly After three years, he finally exhaled it at noon yesterday and never breathed it back again, thus ending his miserable and miserable life that resembled the troubled Chinese style, leaving behind the 80-year-old eldest daughter. In the Kingdom of the Underworld, what was left to the young lady who was still sick and lonely was a heavy debt that could not be repaid and had to be repaid, and a heart full of sadness and hopelessness that could not be squeezed out. How could the powerful lady accept this?
The sun has not yet penetrated the clouds, the cold and confused sky still exists forever, adversity and hardship, sorrow and pain, understanding and listening, patience and tolerance, silence and outbreak, encounter and acquaintance, understanding and Love, hate and separation, the years and years crush the solidified thoughts, leaving a trace of beauty. What is left is only the helplessness of wanting to chase far away. There is no need for perfection. There is a name and two dates on the bluestone tablet. It is the real life of reincarnation of life and death.
I didn’t bother to practice pretending to be stupid, I didn’t have time to learn to let go, the sound of the storm, the bath in the scorching sun, the hugs for nine cold days, the soft persistence and late kindness that settled in my heart. The never-ending longing has created a strong and pure eternal care throughout life, and the traces of time are clearly presented in front of our eyes. The grass wakes up and the flowers bloom one spring after another, and it is difficult to wither and wither when winter comes again. Meteors streak across, like souls falling, taking away the underestimated human sophistication and impermanence of worldly affairs.
Born in tears and joy, parted in sorrow and resentment, has life chosen its destination before setting off? Although I cannot control it, I still want to control my own life and death. Yesterday, today, and tomorrow, sleeping with my eyes closed has created an end, and mediocrity and prominence are buried in a mound grave.
In fact, if you have a family, you may be a little happy and sometimes miserable for the rest of your life. They all say you don’t have to be too demanding and don’t have too many extravagant expectations, but they secretly strive to make themselves stand out from the crowd. The dragons and phoenixes of Chengxiang happily forced themselves into decadence and degradation, the smell of copper and impetuousness. They worked hard to harvest the past that was worth remembering, and rushed towards the future with all their lives. The horror, but the flowers fell helplessly, and the grudges and grudges were always entangled. After all, life does not bring death, and death does not take away the two boundless worlds. Is life still like a song with ups and downs? Is it still the late song of life’s precipitation and accumulation?
The real, almost silly you and me in Qianqiu Gentleness are like actors in disguise, vividly interpreting a dream of reincarnation. Life and death are a smooth past, but there are still some legends. There is heaven and hell, and the final destination still has to torture the soul!