The demeanor of not complaining when being humiliated
When talking about the history of Han Xin, Mr. Nan said: Before Han Xin succeeded, he not only had to be humiliated by the scoundrels in the market, but also suffered from hunger. , it was not easy to even get a bite of food, and no one paid attention to him. There was only an unknown old lady who was washing clothes. She took pity on his situation and gave him the rice bag she brought out, so that he could have a full meal. Later, when Han Xin became famous and became the king of Qi and returned to his hometown, instead of taking revenge on the rogue boy who asked him to crawl under his crotch, he encouraged him and thanked him. At the same time, he looked for the washerwoman who gave him a rice bag, but he never found her. So Han Xin had no choice but to throw a thousand taels of gold into the river where the washerwoman washed her clothes to express his infinite gratitude. This is the famous story in history that Han Xin threw a thousand pieces of gold into a river to thank his mother Piao for her kindness. Mr. Nan Huaijin said: Han Xin has the tolerance and character to endure humiliation, repay kindness, and not complain when humiliated. This is also the main condition for his success in life.
It can be seen that the reason why Han Xin succeeded was not only because of his ability, but also because of his broad mind, knowing how to repay kindness, and having the demeanor to repay evil with kindness.
In life, you will inevitably encounter misunderstandings, grievances, and even insults and frame-ups from others. If you feel resentful and resentful about this, and still want to retaliate, even if you can finally escape the humiliation, And the result is that you can't really be happy. Why? Because you live in hatred and cannot relax yourself, of course there is no happiness. As the saying goes, "When is the time to retaliate?" Love and hatred in the world are always tormenting the hearts of secular people, making people's already full of conflicts and troubles even more painful. Why bother?
In fact, no one is perfect, there are no absolutely good people, and there are no absolutely bad people. Everyone makes mistakes and should be given a chance to correct them. Of course, some mistakes are fatal, have serious consequences, and cause lifelong regrets. Even so, you can't hate him forever or forgive him for this - in fact, everyone has self-respect and self-motivation, a sense of morality in their hearts, and a conscience. Even if he is not punished, the mistake itself can be forgiven. He accepted endless torment and pain in his heart. As a normative tool, the law has to exist, but it is only a means. The real purpose is to correct mistakes and make a new beginning, so as to cultivate oneself and improve awareness; at the same time, it also needs others to understand him. Education and understanding. Only in this way can the warmth and strength of this world be revealed.
Therefore, if there is some resentment between people, there is no need to characterize him, and there is no need to have hatred. Instead, we should learn to tolerate, understand, and forgive the other person. It is also about saving yourself - liberating yourself from that unbalanced mentality, relaxing and doing whatever you need to do. In this way, you can generate a kind of power, and you will also feel that you are maturing in this kind of power. , my self-cultivation has improved, and I feel how amazing I am! Everyone, when there is a problem in their relationship with others, should look for the cause within themselves instead of shirk themselves and blame others. Because I was so demanding of others, I let myself down, so I turned to hate. This is the most inappropriate thing - what qualifications do you have to ask others to treat you well? What qualifications do you have to ask others to treat you well? Even if it is his fault, maybe he did it unintentionally or was confused for a moment; even if he did it intentionally, with bad intentions, or even the behavior of a villain, there is no need to be unforgiving, catch him, and put him to death. He was determined to be a bad person, and they broke off their friendship and never interacted with each other until death.
Opportunities between people are rare, and meeting each other is fate. A person should have the principle of starting well and ending well. No matter who you are, you should not offend easily or jump to conclusions easily. Instead, you should be friendly and considerate. The world sounds big, but in fact it is very small. Can you guarantee that you will not meet and have another chance next time? Therefore, it is better to be broad-minded and tolerant of others, learn to be patient and calm, and repay evil with kindness. This is not weakness and incompetence, but a kind of cultivation, which reflects a high-profile demeanor and a kind of wisdom for survival.
If no one wants to suffer a loss and all compete for the short term, then the world will never be peaceful. Therefore, what matters is cultivation and temperament. People who achieve extraordinary things are those who have a broad mind, are tolerant of others, can repay evil with kindness, constantly conquer others, and ultimately achieve their own success.
Lou Shide of the Tang Dynasty was the son of an aristocratic family. His grandfather had been a high official in all dynasties. This family was very good at being an official.
One year, his younger brother was going to Daizhou to be the governor. Before leaving, he told his younger brother: "Our Lou family has been around for many generations, so it is inevitable that people will say it. If you go out to be an official, You have to understand this and be patient when things happen."
My brother said, "I understand, don't worry. Even if someone spits on my face, I won't show anger. Just wipe it off yourself."
Lou Shide said: "That's not enough."
The younger brother said, "Then let it dry on the face."
Lou Shide said: "That's right."
Although it makes people feel unhappy, it still illustrates the principle of being patient, even enduring humiliation. Don't make enemies for yourself. In response to the offenses and offenses of others, you should put defense first, suppress resentment with virtue, tolerate what others can't tolerate, and do what others can't do. Only in this way can you finally defeat those who are difficult for you and win.
Zhang Dai of the Ming Dynasty said it well: "The first thing to do is to be patient and endure all the stumbling, stumbling, joy, and admiration. Only those who are good at economics. If you are excited and attracted, the final result will be Limited. "You have to be patient in doing things, and the same is true in life. Otherwise, it will be difficult to achieve things, it will be even more difficult to conquer others, and it will be impossible to settle down and live in peace, let alone govern the country.
Forbearance may seem weak and not fight back, but in fact, it is a huge strength. This kind of power first restrains and defeats the self from the heart, thereby breaking through the self and improving self-cultivation. The psychological endurance has improved, and the inner energy and tension have also increased and expanded. Therefore, tolerance has become the most important cultivation for a person. With it, many things and many people can be handled by themselves without being troubled by patience - because he truly regards patience as a kind of conscious tempering of his own will and quality, as a necessary Therefore, he does not feel that enduring humiliation is a shame, a uselessness, or a weakness. On the contrary, he will get the greatest breakthrough and improvement for himself here, which will not only improve his psychological endurance and energy, but also his ability to deal with others. wisdom. A wise person will of course be more powerful.
Buddhism also regards "forbearance" as the greatest cultivation skill. Keep the precepts and practice while enduring humiliation, make endless efforts while enduring humiliation, surpass yourself, and save others. In their eyes, there is no distinction between high and low, gentlemen and villains, good and bad people in the world. All living beings can be saved and become Buddhas as long as they do not lose their original nature, do not change their nature, and have a Buddha mind.
Of course, this does not mean that you should not fight back against any attack, but it means that you should not be impulsive in everything, be tolerant, do not strive for temporary anger, and do not easily build grudges with others. But for issues of principle, once someone is offended, it is of course necessary to bravely face the challenge, fight back in time, and strive for victory.