The road is tortuous and bumpy, and there are also Ma Pingchuan; The scenery is magnificent, and there are also wasteland; People are as warm as jade and as cold as frost.
Why do some people drift away?
Why do some feelings break as soon as they are spoken?
People are complicated. I don't know when, from being a stranger, from being inseparable to parting ways, from falling in love to dying.
In this world, it is not easy to communicate with people. No matter who you associate with, you should remember these three words: remember the benefits of others, help others with their difficulties, and tolerate their shortcomings.
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Remember the interests of the people.
Zeng Guofan once said: Don't abandon people's great beauty with small evils, and don't forget people's great kindness with small grievances.
The meaning of this sentence is not to forget the advantages of others because of their small shortcomings, and not to forget the great kindness of others because of their small grievances.
Be a man with a conscience. It is an obligation for others to help you, and it is an obligation not to help you. People who have helped you will never forget.
In the Song Dynasty, there was a foreign minister, Guo, whose family was well-off and charitable.
One year, there was a drought, and the people almost failed to harvest, and the people were in dire straits.
Without saying a word, Mr. Guo began to distribute disaster relief food, holding several cauldrons every day, cooking porridge and distributing it to the affected people. People who can't live in ten miles and eight townships come to get porridge to drink. If there are old people at home, Mr. Guo will specially send some rice to take back. Everyone says Mr. Guo is good.
However, Lv Xiucai said privately that Mr Guo's food was not good. He used so much food at home, and all the food for disaster relief was poor quality rice mixed with many chaff, which was really hard to swallow.
What's more, the rice I brought back had bugs and a musty smell.
Generous appearance is actually just a cover for charity.
When this word reached Mr. Guo's ears, he was not annoyed and continued to provide disaster relief until everyone survived this disaster year.
However, Lv Xiucai can't get rice, so he can only get some gruel every day.
Many years later, Lv Xiucai was admitted to Jinshi and became a senior official. At the thought of the humiliation he suffered that day, he was restless and wanted to teach Mr. Guo a lesson.
Unfortunately, Mr. Guo's house was robbed, and Mr. Guo reported the case with a cane.
In court, Lv Xiucai ordered his subordinates to arrest the thief as soon as possible, but privately, he was not active and perfunctory.
In fact, Mr. Guo's family has long been down and out, counting on that little money to support the elderly.
When my mother learned of her son's behavior, she angered her son: in the famine year, Mr. Guo's porridge saved his life. As the parents of the people, he has the responsibility to do so. Can't you do that?
Lv Xiucai felt ashamed after hearing this.
After that, he not only solved the case early, but also provided help to Mr. Guo in his later years.
In life, you need to learn to put yourself in others' shoes and remember the benefits of others.
For others, it may be a small favor, but for the recipient, it may be a life-saving favor and a great favor.
You can't forget your great kindness just because of your small kindness.
Write "resentment" in the sand and go with the wind, and engrave "grace" in the stone and keep it in mind.
02
It is difficult to help others.
People are selfish by nature. Why should we always be ready to help others?
There is a great answer: because altruism is the real self-interest.
I'm impressed.
There was a famous Huizhou merchant named Hu Xueyan in Qing Dynasty.
Hu Xueyan told a story when he was young:
"When I was young, I was a shop assistant and often helped my boss collect debts.
Once, I was caught in a heavy rain when I rushed to another creditor's house, and a stranger on the roadside was also wet by the rain. I happened to bring an umbrella that day, so I helped others open an umbrella.
Over time, more people will know me on that road.
Sometimes, I forget to bring my umbrella, because there will be many people I have helped to give me an umbrella. "
After a pause, Hu Xueyan continued: "You are willing to pay for others, and others will be willing to pay for you. When everyone is in trouble, help if you can. "
Later, he was called the Red Top Merchant.
Both the government and business circles are very happy, which is incredible in the era of attaching importance to agriculture and neglecting business.
People with altruistic thinking are long-term, regardless of temporary gains and losses, and have a long-term vision.
Give others the help they can, and naturally someone will lend them a helping hand when they are in trouble.
Helping others is actually helping yourself.
Tao Te Ching wrote: If you want to take it, you must give it first.
There is a saying that bodhisattvas are afraid of cause, while mortals are afraid of fruit.
As the saying goes, if you plant good causes, you will get good results, and if you plant evil causes, you will get bad consequences. Don't always focus on the results, no matter why.
03
Allow people's shortcomings
No one is perfect. When dealing with people, we should look at their strengths and tolerate their weaknesses.
"Han Shu" has a cloud: there is no fish when the water is clear, and there is no disciple when people look at it.
Zen master and his disciples died while practicing and almsgiving.
Zen master knows herbs and often treats some patients. He takes nothing when he meets the poor and takes some when he meets the rich.
I don't understand dust. Herbs were collected by master and apprentice while walking. Why does Zen master collect yellow and white things?
Zen master often teaches that money is a thing outside the body.
Why does the Zen master have a different view?
Once, I finally couldn't help it and said, "Master, I don't want to practice with you."
The Zen master asked, "Why?"
Dust: "I am suffering from different words and deeds."
Zen master: "You mean the charge for treatment?"
Dust nodded his head.
The Zen master told Chen a story that used to be free, but was questioned as a liar.
After listening to the story, he blushed and stammered. It turned out that he was wrong about the Zen master.
Seeing his disciples embarrassed, the Zen master said, "As long as you are kind, stick to your true heart. You don't have to learn from me. "
After the introduction of herbs, no matter rich or poor, they are free. Although he has been hit and questioned many times, his kindness has never changed.
The Zen master died on the way to practice.
While I was taking care of Master's funeral, I saw a letter in the dust. The first sentence is that I was photographed and always wanted to rebuild the ancient temple.
There are several silver tickets in the letter, all of which are not small.
The dust suddenly.
After the reconstruction of the ancient temple, the Zen master returned to his original place, but he still treated people for free, but he just stopped running around.
The ancient temples gradually became popular, and the incense reached its peak after more than ten years.
The ruler is good, but the inch is short.
Both Zen master and Chen have their own shortcomings and advantages. The Zen master respected Chen's initial heart and allowed him to follow his own heart. In order to point out the problems of the Zen master, this is a letter of introspection from the Zen master.
Maslow said:
"The mentality has changed, and the attitude will change accordingly; Attitude changes, habits change; Habits have changed, and so has personality; When personality changes, life changes. "
Dong Qing said in The Reader:
Everything in the world meets, just like cold meets warm, rainy; Spring meets winter, and there are years; When heaven and earth meet, there is eternity, and when people meet, there is life.
People know fate, love each other, cherish character and respect virtue.
Remembering people's interests is a kind of gratitude and a kind of morality;
Helping people in trouble is an attitude and wisdom;
Tolerance of people's shortcomings is a kind of cultivation and a realm.
In this life, if you are complicated, the world will be complicated. If you are simple, the world will be simple.
It's a rare encounter between people. I hope you don't live up to the good times, let alone yourself.