1. If someone doesn’t offend me, I won’t offend anyone. If someone offends me, I’ll be polite. If someone offends me again, I’ll give him a shot in return. If someone offends me again, I’ll eliminate the root cause.
2. I allow you to enter my world, but you are not allowed to walk around in it.
3. It is easy to hide when you are exposed, but it is difficult to prevent when you are undercover.
4. God has not given me any great responsibilities, but it still tortures my mind and strains my muscles and bones.
5. When you hold your hand, you will know that your son is ugly, and your face will burst into tears. If you don’t leave, I will leave.
6. The red beans don’t grow in the south, but grow on my face. I really think about it!
7. I firmly believe that there will be a man who came to this world to be tortured by me.
8. Journey to the West tells us: All monsters with a backing were picked up, and all monsters without a backing were beaten to death with a stick.
9. What are you unhappy about? Say it to make everyone happy.
10. I like you so much, you will die if you like me.
11. Even though you are wearing cologne, I can still vaguely smell the smell of scum.
12. I curse you for buying instant noodles without seasoning packets for the rest of your life.
13. How can you lose weight if you don’t eat enough?
14. My mother asked me if I had a boyfriend. I said no. My mother said: I can have this. I said: I really don’t have a boyfriend...
15. Ideals are very full. The reality is very skinny.
16. Lei Feng did not leave a name for his good deeds, but he recorded everything in his diary.
17. I am not RMB, how can I make everyone like me? !
18. Apart from teeth, there is also love that makes people unable to extricate themselves.
19. When life viciously turned everything into black humor, I turned myself into a highly educated gangster.
20. Time is too thin and the gaps between fingers are too wide.
21. Little girls all want to find a white horse in their dreams. When they open their eyes, they find that the world is full of gray donkeys. After being heartbroken, they can only choose one of the donkeys. Strong and strong, such a donkey is named: Economical Male.
22. I want to cry, I want to make trouble, stay up all night, holding a bottle of sleeping pills in my hand, and a small rope to hang myself. No matter how ugly you are, you still have to fall in love and the world is filled with love.
23. Our goal: focus on money and make big profits.
24. I am a passerby that you turn around and forget about. Why should I accompany you to the end of the world in wasting time?
25. During an episode of intermittent depression, do not disturb strangers and do not seek acquaintances.
26. If you don’t have medical insurance or life insurance, don’t act bravely after dark...
27. You can’t play music, chess, calligraphy and painting, and washing and cooking are too tiring.
28. If you say money is a sin, everyone is trying to get it; if you say beauty is a disaster, everyone wants it; if you say the heights are too cold, everyone is crawling; if you say smoking and drinking are harmful to the body, everyone will not quit; if you say heaven is the best It’s so beautiful, don’t even go!
29. Bus squeeze is a comprehensive sport that includes Sanda, yoga, judo, balance beam and other sports and fitness projects.
30. I will know that you are a monster as soon as I open my eyes.
31. No one loves anyone with his hands in his pockets.
32. Cutting wires with a kitchen knife, sparks and lightning along the way.
33. Being single is not difficult. What is difficult is dealing with those people who try their best to make you end your singlehood.
34. What is happiness? Happiness is when you eat fish, I eat meat, and watch others chew bones.
35. After studying for more than ten years, I think it is easier to get along in kindergarten!
36. They said I was BT and asked me to do a CT scan. It turned out that I was ET.
37. My advantage is: I am very handsome; but my disadvantage is: I am not obviously handsome.
38. I was also an infatuated person back then, but it rained... and I drowned.
39. Many people say that marriage is the tomb of love, but it is better for love to be buried in peace than to die on the street.
40. Learn Feng Shui when you have time. Having a good tomb after your death can make up for the regret of not being able to afford a good house during your lifetime.
41. It is said that people only have two choices. Busy dying or busy living, I think I have a third choice: busy waiting to die.
42. Spring is sleepy, summer is weak, autumn is weak, and winter is just the right time to sleep.
43. You can’t miss yourself, take care of your pain, get your results, and give yourself happiness.
44. When I was a child, I thought I could save the whole world when I grew up. But when I grew up, I realized that the whole world could not save me.
45. If you are destined not to give me the response I expect, then keep at a safe distance.
46. Please don’t regard my tolerance of you as your shameless capital.
47. It is virtue for a woman to have no talent. I must be too wicked.
48. Zhuge Liang had never led an army before he left the mountain. Why do you want me to have work experience?
49. Use the blues spirit of hip-hop to live a life like the erhu.
50. The happiness of an ostrich is just a pile of sand.
51. God, it’s too blue! The sea is too salty! Life is so difficult! Work is so boring! I am destined to be with you! Miss you, sleepless! It’s too far to see you!
52. When I woke up, it was dark.
53. Drinking medicine and passing bottles, hanging people with ropes, and jumping off buildings waving small handkerchiefs to see them off.
54. An iron pestle can be ground into a needle, but a wooden pestle can only be ground into a toothpick. If the material is wrong, no matter how hard you try, it will be useless.
55. A fool stole a beggar's wallet, and the blind man saw it. The mute roared, which frightened the deaf man. The hunchback stepped forward, and the lame man kicked up, and the wanted prisoner tried to pull him away. Public Security Bureau, Mazi said, forget it because of my face.
57. You need to understand the script of your life - it is not a sequel to your parents, not a prequel to your children, and not a sequel to your friends.
59. The trees become quieter but the wind does not stop, the more I fall in love but he is not here.
60. I wish I woke up and opened my eyes one day and found myself sitting on a desk and chair in a primary school classroom. The chalk tip thrown by the teacher hit me squarely on my forehead.
61. Young people don’t act recklessly and are bold and unrestrained. I wonder where the themes come from in old age.
62. As a monster, my wish is to destroy at least one Ultraman.
64. In a few decades, we will meet and be sent to the crematorium, all of which will be burned to ashes. You will be in a pile and I will be in a pile, no one knows anyone. All of them will be sent to the countryside to be used as fertilizer~
65. The beauty of knowledge lies in making people confused; the beauty of poetry lies in inciting men and women to cheat; the beauty of women lies in being so stupid that they have no regrets; the beauty of men lies in lying so that they can see ghosts in daylight.
66. I thought I was decadent, but today I found out that I was already scrapped.
67. The sign of an immature man is that he can make heroic sacrifices for his ideals, while the sign of a mature man is that he can live a humble life for his ideals.
68. Life is like Song Zude’s mouth, you never know who will be unlucky next.
69. The sun is warm and the years are quiet. How dare I grow old before you come?
70. People are not smart, so they imitate others’ baldness.
71. I shine in this beautiful moment as a god. Don’t disturb me, mortals...
73. When we are young, we often make faces in the mirror; when we are old, , the mirror is evenly matched.
76. Work hard! ! For your Audi, my Dior.
77. I am a white-collar worker: I received my salary today, paid the rent, water and electricity, bought oil, rice and instant noodles, touched my pockets, and sighed, this month’s salary is white-collar again...
78. Hold the child’s hand and drag the child away.
If the son says not to leave, fine, close the door and let the dogs out!
79. Life is like this. It always occupies the position of absolute leadership. When countless fools shout that they control life and master their destiny, they fail to see that they live in a higher sky. .Showing a mocking and mocking face.
80. He is like a basin of water, poured into your pile of rice. After a few years, the clear water turns into mellow wine, and you become a pile of discarded rotten rice. It is not useless. , and can also be used to feed pigs.