The first incense was burned for her by her mother. It was the intimate relationship between Bu Yiming and Han Shanggong (a teacher who often entered the imperial court and took care of Chang Jin like a mother).
The second fragrance, she inadvertently helped the dying Min (the lover who was later dependent on her life and death), and it was this fragrance that made Min's love for Changjin last forever.
Thirdly, in Duozaixuan, she has established a good relationship with Zheng (the master book of the inner court, the teacher who later studied medicine, and the person in charge of the inner court affairs).
The fourth fragrance is his childhood, including his sincere feelings with Liansheng (Liansheng later became a imperial concubine, which enhanced Changjin's power in the palace).
This series of characters built a complete and powerful network around Changjin, which became the source of Changjin's constant release of strength and finally benefited Changjin a lot.
The most taboo in investing in interpersonal relationships is quick success and instant benefit. You are willing to pay for it only when you see the benefits, otherwise you will look on coldly. Because you only pay attention to the investment of interests, not the investment based on friendship, this is a trading and profit mentality. If the other person is a person with backbone and virtue, he will feel unhappy, even if he reluctantly accepts your investment, he will not take it seriously, so he will not help you sincerely at all, which is not good for you.
As the saying goes, there are many friends. For friends who want to make friends, we should not wait for the price, we should not just stare at their hot power, status and money, but should burn incense in the temple. Because of the same incense, you burn to a temple with a strong incense, and he won't think how good you are to yourself, but that you just like his aura now, but you just want to shine; But the people in Lengmiao think this is a great favor and will appreciate you. In the future, if you want his things, he will take special care of them and even go through fire and water. And the tables have turned, and when he gets to his house, he becomes a climate, and he will still take care of you as always, and will not think that you are a snob.
In fact, there is no difference between cold and hot in temples, and so are we, because a person's development depends not only on his own strength, but also on relationships and opportunities. If one of your friends has talent but no talent, you can rely on your relationship to give him a chance to develop. This is your investment, and he owes you one. The more you invest, the more he owes you. The debt that people don't want to take is a debt of gratitude, so once he succeeds, he will actively try to pay you back as soon as possible.
Sometimes, although some people are incompetent, they will become people who cannot be ignored because of luck. If people are proud of the spring breeze, they will think that everything is normal and find it easy to do anything. Therefore, if your situation is not as good as his, but you take the initiative to curry favor with him, it will make him suspected of curry favor with others, but even if you try your best to get to know him, it is normal for him, and the feelings between you will not be greatly improved, or even counterproductive.
However, if the other person is in trouble, he will feel cold, because the people who followed him before left him for themselves. Originally crowded, it is now empty and deserted. At this time, he will understand the relationship between many people and understand who is a friend and who is a villain. Therefore, if you think someone is not a thing in the pool, he will eventually succeed in his career, so don't care whether he is in power or not, get to know each other as soon as possible, establish friendly relations as soon as possible, or give him advice and try to get rid of the unsatisfactory state as soon as possible.
The help you gave him spiritually and materially is now his lifeline, and he will remember it all his life. And if you ask him for help in the future, he will certainly have nothing to say. Even if you don't ask him for anything, he will try his best to repay you.
So when we still have the ability, help those who need help, get to know some people who are not talented, and let them develop relationships for their own use, so that your development will continue. Give your opponent more "rewards"
Bulgaria and Czechoslovakia once met at the European Basketball Championship. With eight seconds left in the game, Bulgaria led by two points and the ball was still in Bulgaria's hands.
It is said that it is a shoo-in, but the tournament is a round robin system, and Bulgaria must win more than 5 points to win. At this time, the coach of the Bulgarian team asked for a time-out. At that time, many people thought it was unnecessary.
However, when the game resumed, something unexpected happened on the court: I saw the Bulgarian player with the ball suddenly dribbling to his own basket and throwing the ball into his own basket accurately. The opposing players and spectators were dumbfounded when they saw this move, and the whole game time was over.
However, when the referee announced that the two sides were tied in overtime, everyone suddenly realized. The result of overtime was that Bulgaria scored six points, and they finally created a chance for themselves to come back to life with this abnormal behavior.
Considering the interests of the opponent, it sounds like nonsense. In fact, what you do is sometimes just to create an opportunity for yourself and open up a new path for yourself. If you want to take it, you must give it first. This is a clever way.
Some people say that peers are enemies, so we should haggle over every ounce for them, and don't let them live if we can trample them to death, so as to develop ourselves. In fact, our own development depends not on the failure of others, but on our own progress.
In life, we often see such a situation: many people are very polite to people who meet for the first time, and they can get along well in a short time, but after a long time, they will show their "fox" tail-they just want to harvest, are unwilling to pay, and haggle over every ounce, especially for competitors.
If you want to succeed, don't care about temporary gains and losses, and don't always keep defensive and alert because the other side is competing with yourself. As everyone knows, this will only make enemies for yourself and build hidden enemies. Because once you encounter misfortune, those who are ironically excluded by you, those who have never received your good looks, are most likely to become people who gloat or even throw stones when they are down.
When we succeed or make progress ourselves, you are full of pride, and you want to have a few friends standing by you to be proud of yourself. However, when people around you, including your competitors, have developed a little, how do you treat them? Congratulations? Jealous? Clap your hands? Disdain? If the person who is nervous with you succeeds, you can offer your own appreciation and admiration, so that you can turn hostility into friendship and melt your long-standing dissatisfaction and disputes, and he will accept your kindness, pay his own gratitude and even become your friend from now on.
No lifelong friends, no lifelong enemies. Many friends, many roads, many enemies and many obstacles. In that case, why do we always make trouble for ourselves instead of making peace with the "enemy" or even letting the "enemy" help us?
Peter and Kahn are the two most valued sales directors of the company. Now that the supervisor is going to be transferred, the personnel department and the board of directors are worried about who the next sales supervisor will be! Because Peter and Kahn have their own strengths and made great contributions to the company, both of them are competent for the position of supervisor.
What shall we do? The decision of the board of directors is decided by the staff voting. The final voting result was that Kahn won, and 70% of employees chose Kahn. The chairman was surprised, why so many votes were missing?
The Minister of Human Resources replied: Kahn is quite influential in the company. It is said that Pete voted for him!
The chairman doesn't believe it. The personnel minister explained: this is a fact. Because Kahn not only has strong working ability, but also knows how to get along well with colleagues. No one in the whole company speaks ill of him, including Pete. I remember that when Peter first arrived at the company, he made a performance comparable to that of Kahn, which made Kahn feel threatened. But then Pete did something that almost cost him his job-he lost a large bill because of personal problems and offended the company's most important customer.
Originally, people thought that Kahn would hit people when they were down. If Kahn gloated at this time and made a few sarcastic remarks, a respectable person like Pete would leave. However, Kahn comforted Peter: He is willing to work with Peter to recover the loss. As a result, because Kahn took the responsibility on himself, the client finally forgave Pete.
Finally, the personnel minister said: Kahn's help to Pete shows everyone that Kahn is really a good leader and is willing to work under such people.
It is easy to pay for a friend, but it is difficult to pay for an opponent. From the beginning, it is psychologically unreasonable. However, if you want to make less trouble, you should reduce your opponents and even let them help you. Friends are not "band-AIDS"
A dying kite said to her mother, "Mom, please don't be sad!" " ! I'd better pray to God to bless my life. "
Mother replied, "Alas! My child, who do you think will pity you? Almost every god is angered by you, and you always steal people's sacrifices from their altars. "
The story is that if you want to get help from your friends in trouble, you must make friends in peacetime. You can't complain why you don't have friends to help you and why they are so cruel when you need them.
In daily life, we often hear people say: I only look for friends when I need them; I don't care about them at ordinary times-trouble.
I don't know what you think about this. It is estimated that most people don't like this kind of person who "asks for help when something happens, and stands aside when nothing happens". They treat their friends as band-AIDS after injury, and then throw them away after recovery. For such people, they are often abandoned by others or stay at a respectful distance from others, and can't make real friends. Even when asking others, it is difficult to get assistance.
Without mutual trust and assistance, there is no mutual benefit; Without deep feelings, there will be no trust in each other. Therefore, we should invest in friendship and give moral support or material encouragement to our friends in times of peace or in times of crisis, so as to establish mutual friendship and relations. As the saying goes, a friend in need is a friend indeed. Everyone is an emotional animal with flesh and blood. If you give and help others, they will care about you, trust you, appreciate you and lend a helping hand when you are in trouble. If you come to ruin and just want to ask for help when you need others, then even if you have the ability to help you, no one will help you because you don't have such a relationship.
Why did Guan Yu ignore the wealth, beauty, gold and silver given by Cao Cao and be so dead set on Liu Bei? Why did Liu Bei send troops angrily when Guan Yu died despite Zhuge Liang's dissuasion? Isn't it because there is a relationship between them that is worth paying regardless of cost? Has their steel alliance suddenly become so indestructible? No, it's because they confirmed the deep friendship of sharing weal and woe from the third wedding ceremony in Taoyuan, and stuck to it as a belief in successive years of elections. No matter how difficult the difficulties are and how attractive the interests are, they have never changed.
If you want to have a good relationship with a person, don't care too much about anything, especially the superficial things he has now-whether he has power or wealth, but should value his heart and exchange his sincerity for his help in the future. You shouldn't always depend on your money, status or anything else. A good relationship based on money and status will not last long and will not be strong.
In short, we should not only think about the importance of relationships when we want other people's things, but should strive to establish friendly, tacit and healthy interpersonal relationships with others in our daily lives. If people know that you have such a profound virtue, your influence will continue to expand, and then your network will become wider and closer.
-Quoted from Yanbian People's Publishing House, "Relationship Determines Achievement"