Characters: dormitory uncle, n boys, n girls props: table, chair, brand, money, watercolor pen, newspaper, etc.
Opening (one table, uncle sitting on a stool (Part 1)
Uncle: The world is deteriorating, morality has declined, people's hearts are scattered, and it is difficult to lead a team. Nowadays, some male students are a bit naughty and want to rush in when they see the girls' dormitory.
(At this time, a boy planned to sneak in)
Uncle: (slapping the table) Stop! (Loudly) Baby, you're still a little too young to play dirty with me.
Male A: What are you yelling about? I’ve never seen a handsome guy before.
Uncle: Just you? From a distance, you can see the green mountains and green water, but from a close look, you can see the grinning lips.
Male A: You dare to insult me, do you know who I am?
Male A: I am the legendary handsome and unrestrained, the wind in the jade forest, known as the one who can see landslides and cracks in the ground and water flow backwards, the ghost who sees sorrow, the combination of beauty and wisdom, the embodiment of hero and chivalry, loved by everyone and loved by cars. Car-mounted, stabbing your friends, and stabbing your girlfriends.
Uncle: Oh, are you the one who has been beaten since you were a child, scolded when you grew up, and has no money to buy a card when you go online? Are you cheating on Tetris?
Male armor: low-key and low-key.
Uncle: I don’t know.
Male A: It’s okay if you don’t know me. You’ll get to know me if I come here often. We are all from the Normal University. We are our own people. You can watch here. I will help you go in and patrol.
Uncle: This is troubling you, thank you (Fan Wei).
Male A: No need to thank me, this is what our Young Pioneers should do.
Uncle: Stop! Come back, come back, I almost got you in.
Uncle: Are you the one who wants to get in? The word "kuo" (the first tone) is written on your face, but you are a freshman and yet you have the nerve to accuse you of being a Young Pioneer. Disappeared immediately before my eyes.
(action: Male A makes a stop motion)
Male A: My dad works in a factory.
Uncle: Which factory is your dad from?
Male A: My dad works in a crematorium and my mom works in a funeral home. This is my business card. I can give you a 99% discount if anything happens to your family in the future.
Uncle: Your skin is itching.
Male A: I see that your face is blue, your pupils are dilated, you have epilepsy in your upper body, and you have a stroke in your lower body. How about I book a seat for you first?
Uncle: If you don’t fight for three days, go to the house and uncover the roof!
(Two people came out - thug A, thug B)
Uncle: Who is that? ? Get him.
(Male A is dragged out)
Male A (loudly): 10% off! 50% off! Buy one get one free!
(Male A disappears, Male B enters, uncle continues to read the newspaper)
Male B: (While singing, he goes on stage) People say I look like Chow Yun-fat, but actually I look like Andy Lau.
Male B: I’m so annoyed (emphasis added on “death”). He’s so handsome that I’m annoyed. If I were a girl, I would have married myself long ago.
Uncle: What do you call me?
Male B: Please call me by my nickname. My nickname is Jaylen.
Uncle: Jay, what are you doing here? Is there any intention?
Male B: It’s nothing, just wandering around.
Uncle: Then why did you come here after going around and around? Do you know where this is?
Man B: Isn’t it just a girls’ dormitory? Girls' dormitory, boys goose-stepping.
(After speaking, he walked in with goose steps)
Uncle: The lower abdomen is slightly closed, the chest is naturally raised, the shoulders are stretched back, and the neck is pushed upward~~~, the feet cannot be raised high, right? .
Uncle: If you go further, you will be fined, 10 yuan, 30 yuan, 50 yuan!
Man B: You are robbing money. I am a child from a poor family. You can’t treat me like this.
Uncle: (Looking up and down) Why can’t I see that you are poor?
Man B: Let me sing you a little song and you will understand: I am holding a steamed bun in my hand, and there is not a drop of oil in the dish~~~ In my place, transportation is basically by walking, and communication is basically by foot. Roar, you basically rely on shivering for warmth, and basically rely on dogs for public security. Are you as poor as my family?
Uncle: My family is constantly selling things and selling iron. Are you crying about poverty with me? Growing up, I never knew how sweet sugar was and how salty salt was. Besides, you’re not young anymore, so why don’t you go out and make money? Steal, rob, cheat, and kidnap. If you can’t do it, you can sell it! Nowadays, there are so many college students starting their own businesses, so you can also learn from them.
Man B: Steal, I have no skills, I rob, I have no courage, I cheat, I have no IQ, I kidnap, and I have no ability, I have no choice but to sell things. How much do these pants cost?
Uncle: Do you still sell clothes? These are all leftovers from playing when I was a child. I sold my blood on the Internet, and donated my kidneys to Glorious Edition. I remember you were still in the atom when I sold my body to bury my dog. What's the status?
Male B: I didn't expect there to be someone poorer than me. In this case, you can keep this trivial thing for now. I'll treat you to a drink later and we two brothers can talk.
Uncle (slapping the table): Who do you think I am? You won't be allowed in if you don't pay? What's wrong with this guy? Open your mouth, keep your mouth shut, make money, serve the people, who can tell you the beauty of adulthood? ...How many are there?
Uncle: This is a face value of 200. Why haven’t I seen it before? Man B: This was newly released in 2008. How could you have seen it? Uncle: This year seems to be 2007, right?
Male B (whispering): There is someone in charge of my bank.
Uncle: Oh.
Uncle Male B: Hush... (Uncle exits, female A enters)
Female A (loudly): Brother Jielun (Female A runs towards male B
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Male B: There are three words that I have been holding in my heart for a long time. I have never dared to say them, for fear that I would lose my friends if I said them. Today, I finally mustered up the courage. I want to say to you: "Who are you?" I really don't know you.
Female A: You accidentally stepped on me in the cafeteria that day and said sorry to me.
Male B. : No, is this okay? I can’t even count the number of girls I step on every day. Who are you?
Female A: Then why are you here?
Man B: I'm waiting for someone. Woman A: Can you promise me something? Man B: I'll try my best.
Female A: Can you give me a break? Money, you seem to be stepping on it. Man B: No wonder I feel something under my feet.
(Female A is below, Female B is above)
Male B: Xiaoli, is it Xiaoli? Woman B: Softly, here I come...
Man B (turns to Woman B, smiles, spreads his arms and walks over): You are a frequent visitor in my dreams, you are me The protagonist of life, without you, my world will stop breathing, without you, my life will be meaningless. Ah, RMB!
Nv B (gave him a hard look): Huh! I thought you missed me! You don’t know how much I miss you every day, (singing) I love you, I love you, just like a mouse loves rice .
Male B: Don’t do all these useless things. I’m here to talk to you about business. (Pretending to be serious) Have you done your homework? Lend me a loan. Female B: No. Man B : If you don’t borrow it, you’ll die!
Female B: I won’t borrow it even if you die! Man B: Niu*Female B: Why don’t you treat me to a meal. Man B: Where are you going? Female B: Hagen Das!
Male B: What are you talking about? I can’t understand, canyouspeakEnglish, Japanese, albalia, bulubulukaka?
Female B: I’m not as poor as you. Now, you can do your homework by yourself. Have you been lazy in studying recently? Man B: I have always kept your advice in mind, study hard and make progress every day. You said that if I don’t study hard, you will beat my face into a color screen and my head. The ears are made into a chord, the body is into a straight shape, and the hands and feet are into a second-hand shape. Female B: How do you explain your performance in the English test this time? None of the reading comprehension questions are correct. Did you just choose the questions without reading them? Man B: No! Female B: How dare you quibble! Man B: I didn’t even look at the questions and just tossed a coin to choose. Female B: And your composition, why does it look so familiar? Man B: Doesn’t it look familiar? Read and understand the first sentence of each paragraph... Female B: I really don’t know what you are busy with during this time. Man B: I miss you every day. Woman B: Men should put their studies and careers first, and we should all make good use of our four years in college. Man B: Why didn’t you tell me earlier?! You are right. It is true that college students are not guilty of falling in love, but we must also proceed from reality. Ah! For the great ideal and the lofty belief, you can never look back. What else can I say? Well, I understand you, I support you, and I also want to learn from you. You must know that you are the best choice for our college students. What a role model! Female B: Then, let’s work together? Man B: OK. Man B: I left as quietly as I came here. I waved my sleeves and said bye. You are so stupid. Of course we are all students. Every role in the script will be played by your classmates. Isn't that right? They are all junior high school students, and you have been in love all through college... Xiaoling was lying on the table sleeping. Xiao Ai left the book beside him and went out. Xiao Wu came in and sat in Xiao Ai's seat. Xiao Ai (comes in): Oh, man, this is really baffling. Are you kidding me? Don’t you see, I’ve already taken this seat! Xiao Wu: Ding is Ding, and Mao is Mao. In fact, I got it earlier than you! Xiao Ai: I came early in the morning, why didn’t I see you? Xiao Wu: I took it last night. Xiao Ai: The last row is my patent! For it, I got up early every day, scratched my head, and my blood was flowing. I couldn’t lose this position! Xiao Wu: The last row is my pride. The Feng Shui here is unique. If you want to drive me away from here (Xiao Ai: - How?) I advise you to pull me down as soon as possible! Xiaoling woke up: What's the fuss about? Quarreling in such a sacred classroom early in the morning is a waste of youth! Do you know what mistakes you made? ah? Xiao Ai: I know. Xiao Wu: Let’s stop arguing. Xiaoling: The most unforgivable thing about you is that you woke me up! Xiao Ai sat in front of Xiao Ling. Xiao Ai: Last but not least, let’s carry forward our style.
Brother, follow my lead in the exam! Xiao Wu: Huh? Is there an exam today? Xiaoling: Can you? My hands are numb today! Xiao Ai: Are you scared? Xiao Wu: Are you sleeping? Xiaoling: None of them are right! Tired of fighting grass! Xiao Ai: Hey, I thought I spent most of the night lighting the lamp and burning oil! Xiao Wu: Oh, are you studying hard? Xiaoling: Do you also play grass? Xiao Ai: Oh no, I’m thinking about exam strategies! Xiao Wu and Xiao Ling came closer: What did you think of? Xiao Ai laughed wildly: Let me tell you, this trick is amazing! Xiao Wu, Xiao Ling: Come on! Xiao Ai: Copy according to the book - (picks up the book) Xiao Ling: Go to hell! Xiao Wu: That’s a good idea! Why didn't I think of that? Xiaoling: Come on. You call this a trick? Hey, in order to relieve the tense atmosphere, I will give you a humorous puzzle. Xiao Ai and Xiao Wu ignored her. Xiaoling: Tell me, how many steps are there to answer the exam? Xiao Ai and Xiao Wu came closer: How many steps? Xiaoling: Three steps! Step one: write your name. (Both nod) Step 2: Read the question again! (Both nod) Step 3: - Hand over the rolling paper! Xiao Ai: Hand in blank! Xiao Wu: What's wrong? Xiaoling: Let me ask you another question: There is an exam today, who didn’t come? Xiao Ai: Who can’t come to the exam today? Xiaoling? Xiaoling: I'm not here! Xiao Ai: Look around, Xiao Wu? Xiao Wu: Here! Xiao Ai: Ah! I know—Xiao Ai! Xiao Wu: You are here for nothing! There is no difference between coming or not coming! Xiaoling: Answer, teacher! Not here yet! The teacher walks in. The three of them were startled: Are you coming? Why did you come even though you said you couldn’t come? oops! (noisy) Teacher: What is it called? The toad has come in? The three of them laughed. Teacher: Be serious! What about this exam! No professional ethics at all! What is the most important thing these days? --Fraction! Minute by minute, your lifeblood! (Evil smile) Test, test, test, our magic weapon! Xiao Ai: Copy, copy, copy, our trick! Teacher: Hand out rolling papers quickly! Don’t come early even if you have an exam, what time is it already! I didn’t come until half an hour after the exam started! What have you been doing? Curly hair. Teacher: The exam time is *** two hours! No papers are allowed to be handed in for less than one hour! Students who want to answer the paper please pick up the pen, and students who do not want to answer the paper please rest where they are. Students who want to go to the toilet - please restrain yourself! Xiao Ai: Let me compare the teacher to someone else. He is like a mouse looking for a cat to be an escort - his request is unreasonable! Xiaoling: That’s right! Could it be that he is a legendary rapper, otherwise why would he keep mumbling? Teacher: Be quiet! You are quieter than trees! Do you know what a serious mistake you have made? Heavier than the sea of ??salt! Three people started copying. Teacher: (referring to Xiao Ai) This student, please stop copying! Xiao Wu, Xiao Ling: I didn’t copy it! The teacher walked up to Xiao Ai: Classmate, stop copying! Xiao Ai: How do you know? I put it on the table and copied it! Teacher: The board in front of your desk fell off, I saw it! Xiao Ai: (looked at it) Oops! What bad luck! The teacher confiscated Xiao Ai's rolling paper, and Xiao Ai was about to stand up and leave. Teacher: Sit down! You are not allowed to go out for less than an hour! The teacher walked to Xiao Wu, and Xiao Wu took the roll of paper to the table and copied it. Teacher: Okay, okay, stop pretending! I look down the most on those of you who cheat with books, you have no technical content at all. How did you copy it just now? so? so? Xiao Wu: Lower it, lower it! Teacher: (Confiscating Xiao Wu’s paper) Sit down and think about it, why did you cheat with the book? Xiao Wu: I don’t want to take the book either! Why didn't I do a good job like her (Xiaoling)? Xiaoling looked at Xiaowu with wide eyes. Teacher: That’s right, remember to hit the grass next time! I just like this kind of hard-working children. Teacher: It’s time! carry out an assignment. Put away the roll paper. Teacher: OK. Remember to take the high school math test in the afternoon! (Part 2) Xiao Ai: Ah! Are you taking the high school math test in the afternoon? Xiaoling: Ah! ! High school math test in the afternoon! (Picks up the grass) What did you test just now? Xiao Wu: High... number? ! What tree is that? Three people: Let’s study how to kill grass! The teacher walks in (each teacher can be played by one person in costume). Xiao Ai: Chinese teacher! Teacher: Xiao Ai, how do you write a composition? (Give the roll of paper to Xiao Ai) Xiao Ai: What's wrong? Teacher: Read it.
Xiao Ai: "My Teacher", my teacher has an oval face... Teacher: Wait, (takes out a big sign with claws written on it) Do you have an oval face? What you wrote is that my teacher has a clawed face! Xiao Ai: Teacher, the paw face is also a face, can’t we just look at it? Teacher: You continue reading.