On December 26, 2020, before the child was born and I was 3 months pregnant, I chose to leave. I left nothing but a video for the child. I was going to go back to my hometown of Dali to hide alone and rest for a few days. God, and then continue to work and study hard. I must be a good father to my children at all times in the future, but I will not go back to the city that I left for her.
One night 4 months ago, after struggling for a long time, we finally decided to temporarily give up on her idea of ????taking the exam from Fuling to work in a school in the main city of Chongqing due to the resistance of the new coronavirus epidemic and changes in recruitment policies, and prepared to Live seriously for your family first, even if you live in two places.
Not long after, she became pregnant with our child, unexpectedly
so fast that I was a little caught off guard, but mostly happy, and then I changed to I go to Fuling every weekend. She was almost exhausted every time she came to the main city before, but she also likes the prosperity of the main city and wants to come. Unlike her, now I go back to Fuling and enjoy it, happy and fulfilled, because The entire time cut out by the trip gave me more opportunities to study, think, and meditate. It seems that every time I return to Fuling, it is a good trip. I imagine teaching my children everything I have learned and letting him/her experience the wonders of the world. , the complexity and warmth of people make her/him fall in love with exploring, learning and experiencing.
Not long after, her father, who worked on a construction site in Xinjiang, came back (her mother passed away a few years ago, and my mother had ALS in her hometown in Yunnan), in order to take care of and accompany her from Monday to Friday. I feel sorry for her because she has morning sickness, but there is no way I really need to work in the main city to get an Internet job (Chongqing is an Internet desert, and I have been looking for opportunities to work in Fuling). Everything will be fine after my father comes back. Now, her symptoms of morning sickness are not very serious. What she really needs is someone to accompany her. The feeling of not being handed a glass of water to rinse her mouth after vomiting must be unbearable. But there were some minor problems that she complained about later. Her father always had to order her when driving, but he didn’t have a driver’s license, so I had no choice but to laugh it off. My father didn’t want to cook, but I solved it after doing ideological work. Dad cooked. It didn’t taste good, so I tried my best to teach him a lot, and by the way, I helped my father solve some unclear issues such as loan guarantees, finding a wife, debt collection, and family division of land. The solution was not that simple, but the appropriate communication method was still It was very warm. The three of us chatted for 3 or 4 hours, talking, laughing and gaining insights.
The accident happened when we had enough money to buy a 4-bedroom house on the 24th floor. It took two weeks to look at the house. She was pregnant and continued to look at several real estate houses around her, and finally chose After deciding on the set mentioned above, I found some internal connections to find a more favorable price, and she also participated in it. Just when it was about to finalize, my father said: "This Feng Shui has a green dragon on the left and a white tiger on the right. The front of this house is blocked by the "white tiger", so there is a problem." She quickly found out what the harm was in having the white tiger in the way, and the result was "a bloody disaster, I have to wear a mourning hat," so I didn't make the deal and went home first. After I got home, I started chatting with my father. I asked Dad: "Dad, how did you spot the green dragon on the left and the white tiger on the right? Originally, I didn't believe in superstition (the belief part was actually just to respect the person involved when it was harmless), but since you saw it, tell me Tell me about the secret, how did you figure it out? "We have been together for so many years and I have never heard from relatives or friends that my father knows Feng Shui, so I am very curious. Dad said mysteriously: "The left side is green, the right side is white." (The left side of the living room balcony has a view of the park, and the right side of the view is half blocked by a white building in front). I laughed innocently at that time, and I joked : "Even if you say that, even if I believe in superstition, you still can't convince me." Later, we also discussed some certain relationships between Feng Shui and terrain, light, humidity, and air convection. In short, the final conclusion is that Dad is just like that anyway. She said, forget it if she and I don’t believe in superstition.
At this time I thought the problem was solved, so I went to cook (I was the one who cooked on weekends, and she still couldn't eat too much of what her father cooked). After a while, she, who had not spoken much just now, started discussing it with her father again. I started to feel strange, and the more I spoke, the more seriously I took it. I could only walk out of the kitchen and interrupt, saying: "Well, we are not professionals, and we won't discuss it without checking. Find a Feng Shui master on Taobao, and tell him the longitude and latitude of the community." The layout floor told him to look at the satellite map and calculate carefully, including the surrounding mountains, streams, and depressions." (In order to relieve their psychological effects, people have some psychological effects that cannot be broken through. However, At this time, I was a little confused), and the discussion between father and daughter stopped.
After eating, I saw that everyone was in a good mood, so I said: "The price of the house has also reached the bottom. Let's go sign it in the afternoon. There is really only one set of that floor and apartment type left." , which one has a view of the park.” (Because of the epidemic, there are existing houses, and the ones with better views are all sold out. There is no room left on the 25th to 27th floors, and you can’t ask for the top floor. In fact, it’s okay to buy any floor. , I don’t live there often, I only come back on weekends. I told her this, mainly because I want her to like it.) After saying that, she said: "What problem has not been solved? There is another problem in my heart." I remembered: "Okay. Okay, I’ll place an order on Taobao for 298 yuan and start the calculation.” When I was about to pay, she stopped me: “We need to find a real person to see it.” I was stunned and couldn’t bear it anymore: “I think. This matter has been overdone. I don’t have enough energy to deal with it like this. If you think it is necessary, go ahead and buy it after it is done. I will not participate in this matter." She cried immediately and I said. I said I did." She hesitated and said something to the effect of following her father. I still think it’s over, and she decided not to go to a Feng Shui master again, but she doesn’t want to buy the 24th-floor house either. I think any floor is acceptable for changing floors, but I always change floors for such a reason. I feel that it is inconsistent with the values ????that I insist on. If either of them says that I like the 5th and 8th floors, and can see the campus gardens, etc., I will happily agree, but I really can't compromise on such reasons. . (I have compromised on many such unreasonable things in the past. After I gave in, my mental state plummeted, and my inconsistent personality kept emerging. It took me a year or two to adjust. Since I I almost died from myocarditis, and after surviving it alone, doing things that went against the values ??I adhered to would make me mentally broken.) Now that I have a child, I no longer want to be like this, my family is like this, and I follow her. Talking about how to educate children when encountering similar things in the future? Why do you want to put such a big psychological gap in front of you? She still didn't understand. She felt that her father had taken out 100,000 yuan, so she had to follow him and not let him complain about it in the future. In fact, I knew she couldn't get over it. This was just an excuse. Her father didn't care that much anymore. She cried and cried all night. , I tried to persuade, coax, and reason to no avail, and there was no serious quarrel in person. There are too many fears that she can't break through, but when faced with such an important thing, she is still overwhelmed by this ridiculous fear. My love and the heartfelt trust that we have only slowly established for a short time are useless. . I made a decision for the sake of my children.
I recorded a video in front of her the next day: first, to tell her that I was leaving; second, to tell my future children why I chose to do this; third, to tell her that children who are not well educated can be punished at any time. You can send the child to me, even if you give it to me on the day of birth.
Go back to Dali.