Abstract: Common problems in tackling key projects, collusion between officials and businessmen, and illegal contracting; Jerry-built, shoddy, regardless of quality "achievement project" and "gift project".
Features: few characters, large space for actors to re-create.
Person: contractor, male, 40 years old, nicknamed "Liu Liangyou".
Village head, male, 45 years old.
Time: one day at noon
Location: the contractor's home
(The contractor hums a side dish ditty)
Bao: I took a few people to Gai Lou to keep up with the climate of making money. My brother has connections in town. He is the manager and I am the contractor. In recent years, rural development has used electricity. I sharpened my head and made a lot of money, building schools, shops, roads and hospitals. As long as this work is done, I will take care of it! Why do you ask? I'm telling you, it's not because we work well, it's because someone in the county is sure and the village has great opinions. Guess what, it's helpless. (talking while taking bowls and chopsticks, wine bottles, wine glasses, etc. How fat you have been in recent years! No, my name is Lu Liangyou, Lu Tudi, a kind, cordial and friendly friend, but everyone says that I have great strength to scrape around, and one catty of meat can scrape six ounces of oil, so I am secretly called six ounces of oil. That's it. Just don't call it gutter oil. (I pour myself a drink as I talk) I just finished the acceptance of the kindergarten two days ago, and I earned hundreds of thousands just by shortening the construction period. My wife went back to her mother's house and my son went to the restaurant. I rewarded myself with a chubby belly.
(Village head takes the stage)
Village: something is wrong! Kindergarten has just started one day, and we had a get-together today. The gongs and drums rang. Bang-bang, bang-this is not a cymbal. Three ceilings fell and four children were injured. The secretary reported the case immediately. There is something wrong with the quality of the project, and Liu Liangyou is the suspect. I hurried to the city to prevent him from running away for fear of sin. If he wants to go abroad illegally on 12, what should I do as a village head? (to the screen) Xiao Zhang and Xiao Li guard the north and south gates, while Xiao Liu and Zhao guard the west window. Don't let him escape. I'll go in and stabilize him, and the police will deal with it according to law when they come.
(The village chief rings the doorbell)
Village: Is Liu Liangyou at home?
Bao: Who is it? (Opening the door) Yo, village head! What brings you here?
Village: Feng, it's Feng. I stopped you from coming.
Bao: What did you say? The broken lock of the school is broken again?
Village: No, I ... I gave you another job. Well, a cultural activity center, an auditorium, movies and public hearings will be built in the village …
Bao: A public trial?
Village: No, it's my father-in-law ... aunt ... Oh, it's a mother-in-law meeting, which is held by a man and a woman.
Bao: It's called dancing.
Village: Yes, it's dancing.
Bao: How much are you going to invest?
Village: It's worth tens of millions.
Bao: (exulting) Someone has made money again! (Pretend) Aren't you always opposed to using a team like me that can only build a chicken nest? how do you ...
Village: Look at what you said. We have cooperated for so many years, and everyone knows your virtue.
Bao: What did you say?
Village: I mean, who knows your background? Your brother is a big manager, a member of CPPCC, driving a Mercedes-Benz and riding a BMW, which is a famous obstacle in our county!
Bao: Huh?
Village: I mean, the most famous is his blue Land Rover.
Bao: You know all about it?
Village: I see.
Bao: Then let's cooperate again. Come on, let's have a drink together.
(Add chopsticks and wine glasses. In the following dialogue, the actions of clinking glasses, drinking and picking up food are added, as well as languages such as "dry", "pour wine" and "full serve".
Village: OK. Say your brother is capable, but he really can't.
B: That's right. Brother Liu Lianghu, known as Lu Tiger, has no drums that can't be knocked.
Village: That's, that's, how could he do that?
Bao: Have you ever heard of the Three Character Classics?
Village: The beginning of life is naturally beautiful. ...
Bao: What! The "three-character classic" is three words.
Village: Which three words?
Bao: I tell you, the first word is this "wine". On the wine table, I'm on the left, turn right, fully enclosed, with a spin-dry, large cup! It shook after a few clicks. My brother takes a small cup, drinks it slowly, and speaks slang slowly (pointing to the cup in his hand). Here it is. Look, it's called a four-ball cup. When it fell, it was full of balls. Spill it at the touch, dry it in one bite, and get drunk in a daze. Ha ha! Take off their gentleman's coat first. Then go to the karaoke bar to drink, take a sauna to drink, wake up … wake up … say to drink another day.
Village: Can't you drink to death?
Bao: If you want to live, just do as I say! Guess what? I'm not afraid. I have anti-hangover medicine and trained two drinking buddies. One person supplies two bottles of Erguotou a day, and the business training fee is reimbursed. Haha, this solves the problem of 20% to 30% on the wine table.
Village: What about the second word?
Bao: The second word is "bed".
Village: Bed? Go to bed after drinking? A group of dissolute!
Bao: Look, look, when you get to bed, you squint. Do you know how much the world situation is reversed in bed? Do you know to what extent the fate of cadres is decided in bed? Do you know how many of my projects were killed in bed? I tell you, in big things, you book more in bed than in the office!
Village: That's just crooked ways. You said I was thinking crooked ways.
Bao: No, the first thing we see is the role of a wife. One day, couples are grateful for a hundred days.
Village: The pillow wind has a great effect. The husband is in power and the wife is in power.
Bao: Hey-the second is to arrange confidante. Who says belated love is not love, but the sunset is the most beautiful?
Village: a typical theory of "small three children are reasonable" You are absurd and evil!
Bao: Not evil, but a threat. The third step is exposure. How can it really be exposed, but everyone is afraid of exposure? Revolutionary cadres want a future and face-saving, but the peach news is extremely lethal!
Village: sugar-coated shells, poor picture!
Bao: "Bed" is an important position for us. Since ancient times, officials have learned a lot and we have more experience. They wave upon wave, and we have made great achievements. Some eagles have broken their wings, some tigers have lost their teeth, and some people call me uncle when they are 50 years old in the rooster lay eggs.
Village: gentle trap, fatal trap!
Bao: Fatal? Not fatal. The degree of "bed" solving problems is only 30% to 40%.
Village: Only 30% to 40%?
B: Ah. How much time does a person spend in bed in his life? Only 30% to 40%.
Village: What kind of argument is this?
Bao: The key is that there is another word.
Village: I know this word. It's money.
Bao: Vulgar, too vulgar. Who is raising money now? Money will depreciate, money will be dirty and money will make people breathless. You see how disturbing the US Treasury bonds are. Obama coordinates bipartisan discussions, discusses the past, discusses the past …
Village: Come, come, don't drink. Tell me what that word is first.
Bao: There are too many things in one word, even money.
Village: Car?
B: That's right. You must have a wife's car, a child's car, a work car, a life car, a city car and an off-road vehicle. Car brands should also be considered comprehensively, lucky numbers, odd and even numbers, parking spaces, travel taxes …
Village: What else?
Bao: (wine again, excited) and cards! There are bank cards, insurance cards, shopping cards, entertainment cards, fitness cards, birthday cards, membership cards, gas cards, warranty cards, pass cards, catering cards, bus cards, study abroad cards, cosmetic cards …
Village: What kind of pimp?
B: It's a beauty card. Now is a world of cards.
Village: Why not?
Bao: You're right. We just want to stop you from working for us. Don't look at my brother nodding and wagging his tail with them all day. He said, who is the dog?
Village: You are terrible!
Bao: What's this? There is a room! This is called real estate. The card cost a penny less, but the house kept its value and increased its value. One for the east and one for the west. Your third uncle, his cousin, your in-laws and sister-in-law, and his fourth uncle's adopted son will be sent as long as necessary.
Villager: So you won't lose a lot of money?
Bao: Compensation? Hum! It's all state money. I gave you a few words, just waiting to change them for you two.
Village: Which two words?
Bao: One is land and the other is work. With land, everything is there; With a job, money has a life. This is called the wool comes from the sheep, the country pays the bill, and we develop together for mutual benefit and win-win results.
Village: Aren't you afraid of the relevant departments to check?
Bao: What are you afraid of? It is authoritative for the "relevant departments" to scare the people, but for us, it is "empty talk, and it doesn't matter if you say it." Now it's the brave who die, the timid who starve to death, and the tall people who support the sky when it falls. Do you think the buildings in XX city are magnificent? Built opposite the municipal government, it is an illegal building; Do you think the villas in XX county are big? That is illegal development; Do you think it is important to build a bridge on the Yangtze River? It still collapses. Who cares about us?
Village: (angry) moths, a group of black-hearted moths!
Bao: What's the hurry? Don't worry, drink, drink, for so many years, although you don't like me, you didn't confess, let alone you, and the village didn't confess. Over the years, when I was in the village, I earned this number (sticking out five fingers) ... Stop talking, stop talking, and stop talking when I die.
Village: We all know that. Six taels of oil are deducted from a catty.
Bao: What is six taels of oil? Kindergarten decoration ten days in advance, I earned … hehe! Beautiful!
(The village chief is angry and drinks on the table. )
Village: You are the most beautiful! Six ounces of oil, you cut corners when decorating the kindergarten, which has caused an accident. Four children were injured in the morning, and now life and death are unknown, and they can't escape from the French Open!
(The contractor wakes up drunk)
Bao: It's not my fault, this early construction. The township head said, what is the most important thing in 2 1 century? Education! Education should be grasped early, and I will ensure that it will be completed before June 1, and county magistrate Li will cut the ribbon.
Village: Are you rushing for the construction period at the expense of project quality and children's lives? Huh? !
Bao: Huh? ! Someone's dead! Then I will run.
Village: You can't run away! Xiao Zhang, Liu, Xiao Li and. (Behind the scenes: here) Do you hear that? You are surrounded by us!
Bao: (stunned) Surrounded? Guerrillas? Me? Am I a traitor?
Village: Yes! You are a traitor and a moth of the new era. You must confess your guilt and fight for leniency.
Bao: I confess, I confess, I embezzled and wooed the Eighth Route Army, oh no, revolutionary cadres.
Village: And.
Bao: I cut corners and shoddy.
Village: Be more specific.
Bao: it is to buy bricks in black brick kilns, instead of exchanging earth sand for medium sand; Copper wire and aluminum do not need heavy industry, defective decoration materials and waste water to heat lamps. Well, thick steel bars are replaced by thin ones, and thin steel bars are paved into thin ones. (Gradually proud) The cement is mixed less, the label is lowered a little, the foundation is dug shallowly, the solid wood is softened, the ground is thinned, the bay is shortened, and we are fattened bit by bit (on a par with the village head).
Village: Who's with you? You have made our village suffer all these years. Every construction site is a big slogan that says "race against time, race against time, build the village road in 30 days".
Bao: That's what the township head said. He said: What is the most important thing in 2 1 century? Ah-traffic! Roads are like human blood vessels. If the blood vessels are blocked, you will be paralyzed, just like your father.
Village: Who are you talking about?
Bao: It was the head of the township who said me. Don't take it personally.
Village: Who took it? !
Bao: The township head also said (learn from the township head): One day earlier, there will be more than 10,000 families, and the superiors will come to inspect on May Day. We must race against time to complete the road around the village in 30 days, and ask the county magistrate Li to cut the ribbon on May Day. I'll hang up the quotations of the township head and kiss up.
Village: The road was open in 30 days. In less than 30 days, more than 30 pits and more than 30 cars were trapped on the road!
Bao: Not much, just 3 1 piece.
Village: When you built a new school last year, your slogan was even more bluffing: "Work hard for 90 days and win the new campus in three months." You finished the 4000 square meters project in three months, so use paper!
Bao: Wrong! That's what the township head said. He said: What is the most important thing in 2 1 century? Ah-talent! Talents should start with dolls, dragons give birth to dragons, and phoenix gives birth to phoenix. Rats burrow as soon as they are born. You teach them to be dragons, you teach them to make holes, and they are mice. Therefore, this is a political task that must be grasped. There are still three months before the 11th National Day. We should strive for a new campus and give gifts to county magistrate Li, no, for the National Day.
Village: a poor old headmaster who came to teach in our village. He came to school to work overtime on Saturday, but he couldn't open the office door when he left. It's really called "everyday" and it doesn't work. He was only locked up in the principal's office for two days. When he opened the door on Monday, the headmaster was pale, his eyes were green, and his mouth shouted: Water ... Water ... The Director of Education quickly poured water from the thermos (the expression was very pungent), and the kettle was full of urine!
Bao: It's all the fault of the broken lock.
Village: (to the contractor) Bah! (The contractor wipes his face) It's all your fault! In addition to the dairy farm renovation project, the slogan reads "Not afraid of the snow, build a new cowshed in half a month". As a result, just half a month after the new cowshed was built, two pieces of the ceiling were blown off by the wind and the snow poured in. The most terrible thing is the wind, meowing-like a howl, scaring more than 60 cows back to milk!
Bao: Village head, the slogan of my exposure was also said by the village head. He said: What is the most important thing in 2 1 century? Ah-health! If you want to be healthy, you must drink milk. You have to raise cattle if you drink milk. If you raise cattle, you must build a cowshed. Only when the cowshed is built can there be milk to drink. Didn't you grow up drinking milk? Don't you have to drink milk when you grow up? Drink milk to supplement calcium and enjoy it. As soon as New Year's Day is over, elections will be organized, and delegates will drink milk when they come, so I'll give you half a month to build a new bullpen, and county magistrate Li will ... this bullpen ... county magistrate Li will not come.
Village: county magistrate Li, county magistrate Li, everyone in our village turned county magistrate Li upside down and shouted privately.
Bao: Why are you yelling?
Village: "Always give gifts".
Bao: People also know this nickname.
Village: You rob the project, cut corners and hollow out the project, shorten the project under the pretext of giving gifts, engage in political achievements projects, and harm the country and the people. (Police car siren rings) Listen, it's time to settle accounts with you.
Bao: Village head, village head, you must put in a good word for me. (Holding wine) Look, I have wine. I turned right at my left hand end, completely sealed and still holding it to dry.
Village: You can put this away.
Bao: I have a card (wallet). My card is enough for you to play poker.
Village: Keep it for the detention center.
Bao: OK, I'll, I'll get you another wife ...
Village: What did you say? !
Bao: That's impossible, that's impossible. I mean, I wish your wife would be flexible.
Village: Give me a pillow wind. You can't dream.
Bao: Brother Village Head, Grandpa Village Head, Grandpa Village Head, you have to do me a favor anyway (kneel down).
Village: What are you busy with?
Bao: You can testify for me, and I'll confess voluntarily.
Village: What did you confess voluntarily?
Bao: (to the audience) You all saw it. The San Zi Jing was my voluntary surrender before committing a crime.
(end of the play)