In my impression, she has always been a lively, beautiful and capable girl, and her death is a real tragedy.
The so-called tragedy is to destroy beautiful things for people to see. A happy family, a thriving life and an initial career all came to an abrupt end because of her death. Young children have to mourn their young mother, Dai Xiao, while old people have to mourn their young daughter.
Over the past year, watching her condition deteriorate gradually, watching her suffer in the hospital bed, and finally being skinny and weak, we closed our eyes in despair, but there was nothing we could do. What could be more cruel and tragic in the world?
Swallow made his last wish before his death, hoping to take the ashes back to his hometown in Weinan and bury them in the lush wheat field on the iron stove. The ashes are buried in the ground, leaving a mark for future generations. It is human nature that the fallen leaves return to their roots and the soul returns home.
The land is our own land and the plateau is the plateau of our hometown. We all think it should not be difficult to realize her last wish.
However, things are not as simple as we thought.
On May 9th, the farewell ceremony of Swallow's body was held in Xi 'an Funeral Home. As a guest representative, I read the eulogy: "In the summer when the grass grows and the orioles fly, our swallows fly away".
The article writes that during the Qingming Festival, we helped seriously ill swallows to Weinan Garden. It's raining in Mao Mao, and the wheat seedlings are green. Facing the endless green wheat fields and grandparents' graves, her eyes filled with tears and her face was sad. She solemnly proposed that she hoped to bury her ashes in this land.
Hearing this, relatives and friends were moved, and sobbing sounded in the special hall.
After the ceremony, she was cremated and her ashes were temporarily stored in the funeral home. Since then, the elderly parents-in-law have rushed back to their hometown to negotiate burial matters.
The acres of land in Weinan's hometown were left by grandparents when they died. There are graves of two old people in it, which were cultivated by neighbors in recent years.
We promised to wait until the wheat was harvested before burial. I thought this was not a problem, but I met with all kinds of opposition.
My wife's uncle is the owner of that land. He has always been sensible and respectable, but he is firmly opposed at the moment. Bad words are chilling.
The village head in charge, who has a good relationship with his father-in-law, also clearly expressed his opposition at this time.
Neighbors who farm land, as well as other villagers, have come out to oppose it, with all kinds of dissatisfaction and excuses.
In a word, almost everyone in my hometown is against it. Only then can I understand that it is not easy to realize the last wish of the swallow, and then I have to face all kinds of difficulties.
Why do they object? I think there are two reasons, one is outdated ideas, and the other is self-interest.
In the 40 years of reform and opening up, the market economy has swept across the country, and great changes have taken place in urban and rural society. The popularity of the Internet and mobile phones has profoundly changed people's spiritual level. Whether in urban or rural areas, the traditional moral order has completely collapsed and modern life has been established. However, the feudal hierarchy is still stubbornly growing in some people's minds, and stereotypes often jump out to make trouble.
In the vast rural areas, the concept that men are superior to women is deeply rooted and has various forms of expression. The water spilled by the married daughter will belong to someone else's family in the future, and major festivals can't be spent at her mother's house. Tomb-Sweeping Day can't go to her ancestral grave, can't enter her village after death, and can't be buried in her grave.
So we have to take the ashes of swallows back to their parents' home for burial, which is unacceptable to the villagers. Even the relatives and neighbors who have a good relationship on weekdays have completely ignored face and jumped out to interfere. This is the problem of concept, which is the main reason for people's opposition.
Market economy makes people become mercenary, and rural people are becoming more and more unkind. Selfishness, narrowness, snobbery and ruthlessness have become the behavioral characteristics of many rural people. My father-in-law and mother-in-law have lived in Xi 'an for a long time, and their relationship with the villagers is relatively cold. They can't help each other and are easily overlooked.
When we want to bury the ashes of swallows in our hometown, we will inevitably pass by the door of other people's homes, step on their crops, touch their branches, move their stones, and even occupy public roads and land, which will inevitably involve interests.
Due to the double obstruction of traditional ideas and interest considerations, the swallow's last wish is difficult to realize.
In the past month, the white-haired father-in-law has rushed back to his hometown many times. I don't know how many miles he ran, how much he spent and how many smiling faces he accompanied before he managed to coordinate successfully. So, we made a concession, no longer insisted on burying the swallow in the feng shui treasure house of grandparents, but buried her ashes on a slope at the end of the cliff.
In this way, the uncle reluctantly agreed, the village chief reluctantly accepted, and the neighbors no longer opposed it.
Relatives or I am sad, others have already sung, what is the way to die? The death of the swallow is a tragedy for our family, but for others, it may be just talk.
Our sorrow can't touch all the villagers. They want to obstruct or blackmail.
Burying ashes is not complicated, but the cost is as high as 10 thousand yuan. The amount of red bricks, sand and cement is not much, but it is as expensive as labor. It is said that my father-in-law broke several pepper branches in his neighbor's house during construction, and he has to pay compensation. The wheel crushed a rag in front of the neighbor's house, and the old father-in-law had to pay for it. In order to realize the swallow's last wish, these are trivial things that can be ignored.
On Saturday, June 9th, the little swallow's ashes were finally buried. Early in the morning, my wife and brother-in-law, together with the swallow's children and our own children, and two white-haired old people, brought back the urn from Xi 'an funeral home and rushed all the way to Weinan Railway Hospital to hold a funeral for the swallow.
The sun is shining and the wheat field is flowing with gold. The summer harvest in Guanzhong Plain is drawing to a close, and yellow straws are scattered everywhere in the fields. The swallow tomb is located on the edge of a large wheat field, on a newly harvested soil slope, facing the graves of grandparents.
The funeral was simple and solemn. Many villagers came to help. Paper money, paper flowers, fireworks, firecrackers and the old man's sobs echoed in that ancient field.
On the golden day in the wheat field, our swallows finally came home. How sad and hard!
Poor Swallow, rest in peace. We will often bring our children back to see you!
Written on June 20 15 18.