Northerners celebrate the 24th of the twelfth lunar month, which is called off-year. On the second day of the lunar new year, my daughter and I sent you to catch the train. It's foggy in the morning, grab a handful of water. Walking in fog is like sinking into water. People in the fog have a sense of ups and downs and gradually feel suffocated.
Come to the station. The platform was crowded with people and voices were boiling. They help the old and carry the young, carrying gongs and drums, mostly for new year's goods. The driver looked anxious and eager to return. Knowing that they couldn't see the distance in the dense fog, they kept looking in the direction of the car. I'm afraid I can't get on the bus or sit on the seat. "Here comes the car." Someone in the crowd shouted. You can vaguely hear the clang of wheels. There was a commotion in the crowd. Train-catchers are busy moving things on the ground. Some hold children tightly, hold old people and rush to the platform. The station attendant blew his whistle and told people to stand outside the cordon. The train stopped panting. The crowd pushed towards the car door. My daughter and I watched you get on the platform and get caught in the crowd. Disappear in the crowd at the trunk door. After a loud whistle, the train disappeared into the fog. The sound of wheels is dull and not as crisp as before. In a short time, the train was swallowed up by the thick fog. At this moment, I was still standing there. My daughter reminded me: "Uncle has long gone, Dad, let's go home!" " "At that time I didn't look back. Everyone who saw me off at the station left. We just walked slowly back.
I didn't go back to my hometown for the first time since I worked. On the first day of work, Xiao Zhang in the office said to me, "Your brother is dead."
"What?"
Xiao Zhang looked at me stiffly and whispered, "Your brother is dead."
……
I froze, and my head went blank. I don't know how long it will be, and I don't know when I will leave. I didn't remember until today. Later, as soon as I walked into the station, your back was submerged by the fog.
I'm here because you care. Your grave is close to your parents' grave. When I was looking at the cemetery, Mr. Feng Shui told me: "On the Yellow River levee, your head is on the levee and your feet are on the Yellow River. His parents are in the north and he is in the south. It's called holding a baby. Parents will also block the biting north wind for him. He will sleep well. " Mr. Feng Shui was reasonable, and I agreed. Later, every time I went to the grave, I left the last two clusters of three-dimensional loess on the earth to my parents and you, standing in front of me forever like two tall monuments without words. I can't help kneeling in front of the monument and crying. In my memory, in addition to kneeling to heaven and earth and my parents, I also kneel to you in this world-brother! People often say that big brother is like a father. In my mind, besides my parents, you are the one who lit candles for me in the dark and let me walk through the swamp and trap of life. Ah! This land where I was born and raised has given me a broad mind and a tough will. How time flies! It's almost dusk in the blink of an eye. When I am alone at night, I miss that land more and more, as well as the two monuments left by you and your parents on the bank of the Yellow River.
Now the river is dry. The river at that time was just like you. In the vigorous days, the Yellow River is mighty, ups and downs, rushing to the sea and looking for a broader life world. Today, it finally leaves only a vast valley on the earth, just like the towering Kunlun Mountain, which stands sadly between heaven and earth and remains in my heart forever. I often play with you in this river. Now that I think about it, we are all too small, just like a leaf floating in the river. Like a small spray, it blooms in the river and disappears in a flash. I remember once I was swimming by the river, and the river taught me a lesson. I was almost washed away by the Yellow River and ran to the sea. Now I think, if I was sent to the sea by the Yellow River and merged into the vast expanse, there would be no distress in my later life. I was swept and played by the waves, yellow and yellow, sinking, floating, sinking again and entering the dark world ... I choked. The river flooded into my mouth and I had to take a bite or two ... if I didn't drink it, I had to drink it. I was knocked unconscious by the water. Humble life is played in the palm of your hand by the river. Then a hand grabbed me and lifted me out of the water. Later, I heard that you were lying on the ground, and you asked the children who went with you to put me on your waist. You have been crawling on the ground, gently bumping, and the water spit out from my stomach ... The Yellow River has given me a new life. A layer of skin has worn off your knee. I don't hate this river, but I like its bohemian nature. I can't forget my parents, nor can I forget you and this river. What you gave me was the river and my childhood memories.
Just after the wheat harvest, we picked up the ears of wheat in the newly cut stubble field. You are much older than me. You bet with the two brothers next door: "Both brothers are running barefoot in the newly cut wheat stubble field. The winner gets a handful of ears of wheat from the other side. " The newly cut wheat field is not only hard, but also as hard as a stone. It is impossible for children nowadays to understand! At that time, we had no shoes and were used to barefoot. Now that I think about it, this competition is not only absurd, but also feels that your decision is somewhat unkind. But I accepted the mission. I'm happy to gamble for my brother. I remember I was very excited before the game. I ran away and won. Used up my memory. In the depths of my soul, it has also been deeply branded. In order to win a handful of insignificant ears of wheat, my feet were pricked with several blood stains. Now I feel sad every time I think about it.
You went to a private school. Shortly after liberation, I went to primary school again. He is a cultural person in the village. You are shorter and thinner than me, and you work as an accountant in the village. One afternoon, when you came back from the brigade, you saw a group of men around a cow, smoking and betting together. Most of them are famous strong men in the village. The master said, "If anyone can pull this cow up without digging, I will give a dollar as a reward." One yuan was already a lot of gambling money at that time. Two or three men threw away cigarettes and tried a few times. Niu Jue did not move, and everyone shook their heads. You read it and said to everyone, "I can pull it up." Those people are laughing at you. One of them made fun of him and said, "Let's take a picture of the Tang King. Come back and talk about it. " You said calmly, "Don't laugh, I have conditions." Everyone stopped laughing and asked, "What conditions?" "I need a pole and a rope." Everyone is puzzled. The master said to you, "meet your requirements." If you can't pull it out, you give me a dollar. " You happily took out a dollar from your body, put it on the ground and said, "If you are not convinced, you should also participate. Put the gambling money here. If I lose, you can accept it. If you lose, I can accept. You are not allowed to cheat. " Two or three of them were unconvinced and took out a dollar according to the rules. The main family brought ropes and poles from home. You unhurriedly moved a stone, put it more than a foot away from Niujue, tied the rope with a fast knot, and tied Niujue up. You put the pole in the rope buckle and tried it. The length is just right. You hold the other end of the pole. I heard you hum twice in a row and press down hard. The ox is loose. The third time, the cow was pulled out of the ground. Everyone said in unison, "Well done!" You said unhurriedly, "This is called the lever principle-understand?" Those strong men don't understand a word, and they don't know what leverage is. You put the gambling money away on the ground, took out a yuan and handed it to me, saying, "You can buy two packs of cigarettes in the small shop and the rest can buy sugar." After a while, I ran back and handed you the cigarette. You ask your family to share it with everyone. The remaining sugar is in my pocket. Since then, your image has grown in my heart, which can be said to be the point of worship. Later, you went to work in the village and were sent to Nanjing Accounting Institute for training. Soon transferred to the county agricultural and industrial departments.
Educational resources were scarce at that time. Key schools will brush more than half when they arrive at the senior high school entrance examination. When I am admitted to a university, I want to be admitted to a national first-class university. When you volunteered, you bought me a white short-sleeved coat. I am ecstatic. I remember I couldn't bear to wear it until I went to school. I don't know how long I have worn this dress. My mother mended it again and again until I lost it when I couldn't wear it. I don't know how many coats I have worn in my life, but this dress left me with memories. It is like a flag flying in my memory, which makes the neckline and cuffs of my clothes worn out and I can't bear to lose it. My family will steal it and help me throw it away. The college entrance examination, before the Cultural Revolution, was changed over and over again when filling in the volunteers. One night, you asked me out for a walk. You said to me earnestly, "My parents have lost their ability to work. My salary is only over 40 yuan, and my family depends on my brother. Brother chose a school with a grant for you. What do you think? " At that time, you were the father of three children. I looked at you and said nothing. I can't convince myself, let alone refuse you. We walked a long way slowly. Finally, you sighed and said, "It's up to you." I didn't sleep well all night. The next day, I went to school to change my wish. I majored in mining and don't want to do it. This is destiny. After school, you send me ten catties of grain and five yuan every month. In that hungry day, all this can't be measured by natural numbers.
Remember that every Spring Festival, the whole family is waiting for you to come back. Your coming back will surprise the whole family. Because they always bring new year's goods, a big fish or a pig's head, and Yanghe Daqu wine that parents love to drink, the family is happy. There are thousands of people in the family, and one person is in charge. When I ask my parents anything about their family, they always say, "Ask your brother." After my parents died, I still took my family home to celebrate the New Year with you. I didn't go back in the last year, but you came to me with a case of Yanghe wine before the Spring Festival. On the day you came, I took my family to my father-in-law's house in the morning. Communication was not as convenient at that time as it is now. I didn't come back until four in the afternoon. My heart tightened when I saw you sitting next to the flower bed downstairs in my dormitory.
After my parents are old and I have my own home, you often come to see me. Come and see my life. I take care of my life. I made the bed, folded the quilt, washed my feet and face, and prepared toothpaste and toothbrush. Later, for some reason, you lost sleep. I'll take you to the mountain and give it to an old man who looks after the mountain. I will lend you a shotgun. Although I have never caught any competition, it is also a comfort to you.
Who knows that the last time I sent you away, your back was submerged by fog. You only give me the above good memories, but make me miss you often. In that world, brother, can you really block the cold north wind for you as Mr. Feng Shui said? Did you sleep well in your parents' arms?
Fishing for the moon
The moon rises from the house in the town. The moon is flat, gentle and bright. The small town under the moon is very much like the ink painting of the famous painter Wu Daozi, and it is also very much like the Zen sacred package floating outside the mountain forest. In the moonlight, I vaguely heard the fisherman singing on Wu Peng's boat: "Cao Qingyue is full, and Baling fishermen sing." Catch a car and drown a boat. Happiness in a storm doesn't need a fairy. " The song came intermittently through the moonlight, with a little drunkenness from the fisherman.
The moon is weak and pure. There is an ancient river not far from the town. A full moon in the river. The night wind makes small waves from time to time and licks the moon. After the wind, the moon blooms in the water again. The moon and the wind are playing cat and cat. The road by the river is winding and crawling in the grass, with no starting point and no ending point. There is a forest not far away. I can't tell my eyebrows apart in the moonlight. Moonlight also faded the stalwart of the daytime trees, and became soft and black in the moonlight. There are two figures on the path around the corner of the forest. The shadow is thick and light, tall and short. From a distance, it looks like ink on rice paper. As people get closer, they gradually distinguish between tall men and short women.
A covered boat descended the river. There was a man sitting at the stern, wedged there, unable to distinguish his eyebrows from his eyes in the moonlight, and it was dark. It's the rudder There is a ray of fire shining, and the bean fire is a cigarette held by the helmsman, flashing. The flame dispelled the surrounding blur and outlined his face. The boat rowed across the middle of the river and there was a gentle sound of water. The boat went away, drowned by the moonlight in the distance, and gradually disappeared.
He and she just sat down. ...
On the path by the river, there is a small figure moving. Xiaoying walked to the river and they saw a little boy. The little boy squatted down and stood up again. Gaze at the river for a while. He bent down to pick up a stone, stood for a while, suddenly waved his arm and shot the stone at the water. The stone head slides forward quickly on the water like a mandarin duck. There was a little smile and splash on the sparkling water. When the water calmed down, he stared at the river for a while. The little boy fished around in the water with a bamboo pole. I don't know whether to fish or catch the moon.
They sat speechless. Look at the little boy by the river.
Quiet as a virgin on a moonlit night.
At this time, the distant lights burst into a call: "Bitter gourd!" " The long voice broke the silence of the moonlit night, and the voice was full of anxiety.
The child in front answered irrelevant questions and said, "Alas, Dad! Here we are. " His childish voice rang in Hetao. He suddenly threw away the bamboo pole in his hand and rowed towards the light like a black meteor. In an instant, the small figure was drowned by the moonlight. The river is calm again.
"Why is it called bitter gourd?" He seems to be talking to himself.
"Maybe there is no mother." She answered.
"How is your mother?"
"I miss my father!"
She was a little melancholy and looked at the soft moon in the river. The bamboo pole was left alone by the river. She bent down to pick it up. He followed her silently. He asked, "What's the matter?" She threw the bamboo pole in her hand into the river, disturbing the calm of the water and breaking the moon in the river.
She said, "I don't remember my mother. When I learned that everyone else had a mother and asked my father for one, my father said to me,' Your mother is not at home.'
I asked my father again,' What does mother look like?'
My father told me:' Your mother is like the moon.' "
She was silent for a moment, then said, "I fished for the moon in front of my big jar, just like a child just now." The bamboo pole is broken every month. I'm angry that I can't catch it. I threw away the bamboo pole and used my arm to catch the moon in the water. So I plunged into the water in the tank. If my father hadn't arrived in time, I might have been drowned in the water tank. "
At this point, she paused and then said, "When I was thirteen, my mother suddenly came back. Father knew that she had jumped into the river for another man. She didn't die, and since then her father has been as silent as an old urn. One moonlit night, I vaguely heard my mother crying. Only when I woke up did I know that my father had drowned in the river in front of my house. Father's face after death is brighter and more peaceful than when he was alive. Look up at the sky, there is a moon in the sky. Looking down at the water, there is a bright moon in the water. Look at my father's face. There is also a moon in those eyes that are not closed. Mother's face is nothing like the moon. "
"Your father-"
"The disillusionment of love."
She sighed, paused and said, "I love my father!" " "
The wind is thin, the moon is quiet, the waves are whispering, and the beach is white and soft.
Down the river, until the corner, out of the hearts of men and women. The lights in the town are far away, and I feel dizzy and sleepy. It's late at night, and the moon is silent, just a faint light. There are dogs in the distant village, barking fiercely. The voice is weak. Insects are singing in the grass. The night dew slipped in the moonlight. The night is quiet, as still as water; The moon is as bright as a mirror. I don't know when the wind started, but it was light and the wind was urgent. Yuehua was moved by the breeze. So he and her feet can feel it. There seems to be water flooding, clouds floating, delicate and graceful, wave after wave.
She told him, "I like the moonlight in the town. The moon is the lover's state of mind. "
A month, white and clean, floating a hazy river, softening the grandeur of the river. The river is surprisingly calm.
He said, "I-"He hesitated.
Someone passed by-a man and a woman, with a soft voice. A woman's voice is continuous, sweet, but a little timid.
The woman said, "There is a moon in the river."
The man said, "I'll throw you into the river." You will also become a full moon. "
The woman said, "Throw it away."
The man said, "Close your eyes."
The woman really closed her eyes.
The man smiled mysteriously, kissed the woman's eyes, picked up the woman and walked to the willow tree. After a while, a woman's angry voice came from Liulin: "No, you are really bad."
……
Forget, forget the westbound jathyapple.
From a distance, they hugged each other tightly, just like stone carvings forgotten on the beach by the river, and they were natural with the river and the beach.
He lifted her long black hair with his hand and asked in infinite disappointment, "Go back?"
She sighed: "Hmm!"
"……"
Before he could speak again, she shook her head and said, "I told you everything!" " "
"alas!" He gave a long sigh.
……
Rouliu, wake up from a dream. Willow seemed to be startled and made a rustling sound. Calm has been restored. After a while, the breeze blew two gray shadows from the willow tree and swam around like fish in the moonlight.
"ah! This quiet moonlit night. "
A fish jumped out of the water and took away the light of the moon. The stars are sparse and far away. The stars are not very bright because of the moon. When the moon goes down, it looks solemn, like a Buddha statue.
The road became crowded. The road under the moon, like a stream, seems to have water under its feet, which flows through its heart and is very depressing. Obviously, everyone wants to drag the road under their feet, but the road is bitten by their feet. He took her hand and sat on the beach by the river. The beach is a little cold for them and flows with relish. There are his and her footprints on the beach, full of moonlight. They stared blankly at the bonfire lit by the river in the distance. Two or three dark and strong figures flashed by the campfire. A man's voice came intermittently. The voice was mixed with drunkenness. Suddenly, a gruff man's song sounded:
"Elder sister, you boldly go forward, go forward, don't look back ..."
The voice is thick-thick.
This song reminds him and her of the past on and off. The past days have come and gone. Time is like a river in front of us, sour. Two lines of spiritual language overflow from her eyes.
"Farewell?" He said.
"hmm!" She answered. The voice is a little shaky.
An immortal moon quivered in the river, and was licked by small waves from time to time, but it did not dissolve, but gave glory to the river. Looking up at the moon, the moon is oblique to the west.
A ship came against the wind. There is a tracker pulling the fiber, a man and a woman, all bent like a bow. No prison, just breathing. The ship sailed slowly in the night, getting smaller and farther away, and was finally submerged by the night. Leaving only a heavy rope on the beach.
There was no moon in the river after the boat passed. The moon broke the water and burst out again. It was still the moon.
She sighed and said, "The moon is beyond our reach."
The wind sent a clear and elegant song, "When is the moon in spring flowers?"? How much do you know about the past? " It's Kunqu opera. Elegant voice, elegant and more elegant in the moonlight, clearer and clearer.
"The small building was easterly again last night, and the old country could not bear to look back at the moonlight! The jade fence should still exist, but Zhu Yan changed it. " This is a male voice, rich and pure.
"Candles have heart lights. Tears burned your lips. Has this hatred disappeared? Sitting on the weak floc of the east wind, I know where it will be after drifting! " Female voice.
Women cry in the wind.
"Ask how sad you are? Just like a river flowing eastward. " A man's voice, a little choked up.
There is a full moon in the water full of rivers. I don't know whether the river is sending the moon or the moon is in another river. The river always sends the moon away. Tomorrow, tomorrow, how many people are dreaming of "Yang Liuan's dying moon", and how many people are still fishing for the moon!