How can parents help their children to stabilize their emotions?
First, parents should set an example, control their emotions, don't let their emotions be led by their children's emotions, and don't form confrontation with their children;
Second, when the child loses his temper, parents should divert his attention with interesting things, correct the child with a calm attitude, and tell him the harm of losing his temper when the child is emotionally stable. You can also guide the child to put himself in the other's shoes, guide him to empathize with the consequences of losing his temper, and understand the bad feelings that his emotions bring to others.
Third, parents should also care about the reasons why their children lose their temper. If it is a reasonable request, it should be met in time.
In addition, eating more vegetables and listening to soothing music can also help children calm down.
I am a mother, with many children around me, and I have met children who are out of control. Tell me about my handling method.
My aim is to treat children as an independent person and deal with problems from their perspective.
We often see some children who are out of control in some public places, such as shopping malls, supermarkets or amusement parks, crying behind their mother or father's ass, and the same out-of-control parents just want to move on by themselves. Even some babies can't get up directly lying on the ground. At this time, many parents will collapse on the spot and put down their malicious words. "If you make trouble here, I'll go by myself." These scenes are familiar.
I've met it before, and it was a hurricane on the spot. If both sides are out of control, it is who is better than who. In the end, parents will forcibly solve the problem and make a quick decision to avoid "losing face" in the crowd.
Later, I adjusted my handling method. When the child was about to lose control, I quickly found out what the child was struggling with, and then handled the problem from the child's point of view.
For example, once, my daughter wanted to buy snacks and stood in the snack area and refused to leave. When she saw that I ignored her, she immediately pursed her lips and raised her head, ready to cry. I quickly walked up to her, squatted down, hugged her, really hugged her and gave her a big hug. Then she said, mom knows you want to eat snacks, but you have eaten a lot of snacks recently, so I can't buy it for you today. Wait a minute.
Although a little reluctant, at least the scene is not out of control.
Many times, children are really not bears, not ignorant, but our parents are too impatient to give them the right emotional outlet to guide and help them deal with their emotions correctly.
There is no great truth or methodology, that is, we replace ourselves with children who are troubled by emotions at that moment. If you put yourself in the other's shoes, how do you want to be guided when your emotions are out of control for a while? After such a change, many parents will no longer be depressed.
At the moment, my doll is sleeping sweetly. Before going to bed, she said, mom, I love you. Children are really angels, and we need our parents to think of them from different angles.
Of course, our parents should also control their emotions at ordinary times. Children are naturally observant and need parents who know and do together, hand in hand. If you say you want to be a happy child without losing your temper, then parents should do the same.
I hope my answer can help you.
To help children adjust their emotional state, parents should first return their emotional state to a calm state. Unfortunately, it is impolite to tell you that children's bad emotional state, including some bad emotional response patterns, is learned from their parents. And the child basically learned it before he was 6 years old. Parents' own emotional state, including bad emotional state, is also known from their parents' family before they were 6 years old. It seems simple to help children adjust their emotional state, but it is really, really difficult. Sometimes it's like shaking your hair to improve yourself.
Adjusting emotional state includes two aspects: skill and skill. The skills that others can tell you are all in online books. You must make up your mind to practice your skills. Improve your emotional benchmark level.
Here are eight sentences for everyone first.
I am responsible for my own mood and always keep a good mood.
I was calm when the child cried.
My family is angry, I am calm, my lover is angry and I am calm.
For the sake of children, I am willing to change myself to grow.
I love my family and revitalize it, starting with me. This sentence is the opening remarks. Every time you take out the key, remind yourself before opening the door, throw away negative emotions as much as possible, and then go into the house. )
For the sake of children, I am willing to change myself to grow.
I am a very, very important person. Important people don't lose their temper easily.
Smile on your face, be happy in your heart and be beaming. Read this sentence 20 times a day 10 times to calm down. )
Speak quietly and create a good feng shui for your family. Speak with breath, speak with saliva, this is the feng shui at home. Speak softly and slowly, and the feng shui at home will gradually get better. )
Tutoring homework, angry to the heart; Scold children and get angry until blood pressure soars; The child resisted and was overwhelmed by anger.
Many parents will look for ways to educate their children when they have problems, thinking that only ways can solve all problems.
However, have you ever asked yourself: "Is your education emotionally healthy?"
This is probably the status quo of most family education-impatience, anxiety and emotion.
The emotional minefield education of education basically relies on yelling, and there is almost no communication.
Think about it, when will you say something that is particularly unacceptable for children? It should always be when you are angry.
Then why are you angry? Is this a bad job? Is it a family conflict? Is it the pressure of life? Or the obsession in your heart?
You want to tell your child emotionally: I am angry because of you. Only if you change, I won't be so angry and will be kind to you.
Children may indeed become obedient, but temporary obedience is only because of fear, and children may become worse in the future.
Are you in a good mood to pour the accumulated mud in your heart on your child? However, it is not so easy, but it also adds a sense of guilt and self-blame.
Emotional expression is a double-edged sword, which hurts not only children but also parents. Your hard-earned parent-child relationship fell apart in this roar.
Did you hear that? Stop playing with your mobile phone!
Have you finished your homework? And watch TV!
It's so late, don't go to bed!
How can you be so stupid!
……
Are you playing with your mobile phone, watching TV, staying up late or doing something bad when you ask your child like this?
You may say, "I am an adult, I can do this, but children can't do this." Do you think children will do things that even adults can't help themselves?
I'm afraid what parents often say to their children is: "We are going to die soon, so it's up to you." This is probably the most annoying sentence for children. You can't even do it yourself. Why do children have to do it?
This sentence does not express parents' love, trust and encouragement to their children, but more is to pin their dreams that they cannot complete on their children. You muddle along, don't want to work hard, lose yourself, but you are so hard on your children.
This is our family education. Parents always ask their children what they can't do and are so confident.
Whenever a child's performance fails to meet parents' expectations, parents' negative emotions erupt like a volcano.
Indiscriminately scold children: parents bought you such an expensive school district, spent so much money on training courses, and lost many development opportunities for you ... My parents sacrificed so much for you, and you are still so bad. You are too sorry for your parents' efforts and too embarrassed for them.
Kidnapping children with emotions will make them feel that their study life is accompanied by their parents' anxiety. These are what my parents want, not what I want.
Parents' anxiety mainly stems from the selfishness of love, and they think that what they have paid for their children will be rewarded accordingly. Therefore, the more you pay, the higher your expectations and the more you ask for in return.
This kind of love with excessive conditions will cause more pressure on children, make them feel terrible about their studies and parents' education, and thus lead them to anxiety, depression or rebellion.
The emotional cartoon "The Lion King", which controls education, begins with a father-son interaction: Simba caused a lot of trouble and almost died because he was competitive, but his father didn't criticize him, just said, "I'm afraid, I'm afraid of losing you." Then he told Simba what to do: "Only when it is necessary, when there is no choice, courage is truly brave, otherwise it is adventure."
Turn emotional expression into emotional expression.
When a child has a problem, you should first adjust your emotions and then face the problem. Communicate with your child calmly and frankly, tell your true feelings and expectations, and believe that your child can be honest with you.
"Only a calm heart can precipitate and absorb the rational thinking of education." Only when parents calm down can education for their children be effective.
Do you know that children nowadays give their parents the title of "leader", which means "preaching the most".
All parents want to establish an authoritative image in front of their children and become superman in their eyes. However, China's parents are often "giants who have been passed down by word of mouth and dwarfs who set an example", and their children simply don't listen to a laundry list of educational principles.
Parents only see the Excellence of other people's children, but ignore the behind of these excellent children. There are always parents who set an example and set an excellent example for their children.
You want your child to concentrate on his homework, but write his own plan but brush his mobile phone from time to time; You want your child to develop a good habit of reading, but you are holding a mobile phone instead of a book every day; You want your children to practice dancing, drawing and playing the piano, but you can't even keep exercising for half an hour every day …
Hope is not for the next generation, but for yourself. What kind of person do you want your children to be? First of all, you must be that person yourself. Remember, your behavior will become a benchmark for children.
There is no love for no reason, and there is no hate for no reason. All love is conditional, including parents' love for their children.
You love your child because he can bring you happiness, because he can accompany you to your old age, because he can bring you hope and pride.
Conditional love is not shameful, which is in line with a person's true psychology. But if you don't want to admit that your love for children is conditional, you always feel psychologically unbalanced, which will lead to a strong sense of anxiety.
Admit conditional love frankly, think about your deformed figure, missed promotion opportunities, and spend a lot of time for your children ... these can all be exchanged for your child's company, your child's sound personality, your child's happiness and so on.
If education becomes anxiety, then education becomes a kind of negative energy. Admit the selfishness of love and balance your heart, and everyone will live better.
Love is conditional, but education needs no sacrifice.
Children's emotions are sometimes difficult to control because their upper brain and cerebral cortex are not well developed and need to start developing around the age of 25. Children sometimes get out of control. Adults understand, because even adults sometimes lose control. So should the child's out-of-control emotions be let go? In fact, our parents can train their children's brains when their emotions come.
The human brain is divided into upper brain and lower brain. The lower brain is used to deal with people's instinctive and emotional reactions, and the upper brain is used to make rational decisions, such as language ability. When children's emotions are out of control, they can be expressed in words by mobilizing their language organization ability. Sad? Sad? What is the cause of sadness? What do you want your family to do? And what should be done to alleviate these emotions. This is suitable for children to communicate.
Describe the emotional state of the child by describing what just happened, depression? Still sad? The more accurate the parents describe their emotions, the next time their children's emotions come, they will call their brains to think about their emotional state and describe it in words. When the child calls language, the upper brain is turning and the child is slowly thinking rationally.
If the child's mood is intense, let him stay alone for a while, and then talk to him about what just happened, what happened to him, what his behavior just now is worth encouraging and what needs to be improved.
"Just now, you are very angry. The baby chooses to adjust his mood by playing with toys to divert his attention. Later, his mood gradually calmed down. The baby learned to divert attention to control his emotions. Mom thinks you did a good job. Are you proud of your progress? "
"Just now, you are very angry. You put the toy on the ground. Mom knows that the baby doesn't know how to control his emotions, so it will be like this. Mom understands your emotions very well. This kind of throwing behavior is wrong. We can divert our attention, play with toys, or take a deep breath to ease your mood and talk to your mother about your feelings. "
Parents must remember that when communicating with their children, emotions should be recognized and behaviors should be encouraged or improved. Every time he can slowly accept his emotions and adjust his behavior, and the encouraging behavior can be affirmed or get good results, then he will adjust his behavior in the following emotions.
While children adjust their behavior, parents should also set an example. Because the emotional brain develops before the rational brain, the emotional brain processes things faster than the rational brain. What we need to do is to mobilize the rational brain.
I think we should first provide a good family atmosphere and environment for our children.
A large number of facts have proved that a good family environment and harmonious relationship between husband and wife are easy to cultivate a lively, lovely and cheerful child. They will face things more actively, control their emotions and adjust their emotions subjectively, and their parents will also help them adjust their state.
Emotion may be the most influential thing to children's growth, but it is also the most easily overlooked thing. Children's correct understanding and effective use of emotions is an ability that every child should have, and the ability to use emotions can be improved through learning.
So how to manage emotions?
1. Parents should accept their children's negative emotions.
2. Parents should estimate that their children know, accept and admit their negative emotions.
Parents should teach their children to express negative emotions in a safe way.
Parents should guide their children to learn how to deal with the desires in life and every gain and loss.
Parents should not be afraid to show their emotions in front of their children, tell them the reasons and solutions, and listen to their thoughts.
6. Buddhist families instill Buddhist ideas in their children, and everything is open and not repressed.
For such a broad problem, parents' own feelings, understanding and expressing emotions may be broad, so there may be a feeling of being at a loss. We will do the same for things we don't know. If parents have nowhere to start with their emotions, children will, because children see their emotions from their parents' faces and learn how to deal with them.
Therefore, parents can try to accept and understand their children's emotions and learn from them. This kind of learning may be difficult for many parents to understand. They need to lower themselves to the same level as their children, listen to their feelings, then accept this emotion, and then start from the realistic rules and tell them what they can and can't do. The principle is "resolutely no hostility". You can resolutely stop it, but don't hurt the child violently. The child will gradually understand what can and can't be done.
To help children control their emotions and adjust their state, first of all, as parents, you should be able to control your emotions. It is said that parents are the best teachers for children, and parents can set a good example for their children by managing their emotions well!
I'm Amy, the mother of the dolphin. I have been studying the physical and mental health of children and adolescents for more than ten years.
There are many kinds of emotions, so are children. No matter what kind of emotions are normal, parents should pay attention if the child's emotions are out of control.
There is an absolute relationship between the emotional development of children and the adequacy of nutritional intake from birth. Even if the mother gets enough nutrition when she is pregnant, it will directly affect the emotional changes of the child after birth.
If the child has some abnormal emotions or behaviors to rule out certain diseases, we might as well adjust and improve the child's emotions by adjusting diet and changing bad eating habits.
If the child is moody, excited, noisy and irritable, it may be that he has eaten too many sweets and induced these emotions. Parents should limit their children's sugar intake.
If the child is depressed, unresponsive and numb-faced, it may be due to the lack of nutrition such as protein and multivitamins, which leads to decreased immunity, anemia and mental retardation. At this time, it is necessary to supplement high-protein foods such as meat and dairy products, and give children some fruits and vegetables, such as tomatoes, apples and vegetables rich in vitamins.
If children are often worried, afraid or forgetful, it may be a lack of B vitamins, then you can add some coarse grains, egg yolk, pork liver, nuts, dairy products and so on.
Among the parents I received who came to ask for help, many responded to their children's personality and emotions. These parents have seen many doctors. But the problem has not been solved. Many parents are looking forward to the day when their children can get better by themselves. In fact, this also indirectly caused many children's later problems. As long as some vitamins, minerals and protein are properly supplemented in the process of parenting, many children's moods can be improved.
It is difficult at present, because I control my emotions first!