In psychotherapy, Milton H. Erikson is the most skilled person who uses metaphorical stories and has become his own family. Eriksson is a master of hypnotherapy. The hypnosis method he invented broke the traditional form of hypnosis. Telling a story lightly with his unique slow tone magically brings people into hypnosis, and in the hypnotic story, what he wants to say to the case owner is hidden in the story in the form of metaphor. In this process, many cases have made new changes in behavior and changed their lives. Eriksson regards the human subconscious as a powerful resource, which can help us live a healthier, fuller and more complete life. Therefore, when telling a story, it is often told to the consciousness and subconscious of the case owner at the same time. Consciousness listens to the surface content of the story, while subconscious listens to the deep structure of the story. But the structure of the story is another story, with implicit answers, which accords with the mental structure of the case owner. The subconscious of the case owner received this story, which means that it has a powerful power to change.
In the 38th episode of Everything is Fine, Su Mingyu had a conversation with Manager Zhou in order to help his second brother solve his work problems. Mingyu started by letting Manager Zhou's boss take the lead and appeared higher than Manager Zhou. But in the end, instead of bullying others by force, she skillfully used a figurative story. Let manager Zhou make a choice willingly. The dialogue is as follows:
Mingyu: "When I first started selling, I was young and naive. I offended a female boss without knowing it, so that people gave me little shoes for half a year. " All my colleagues came to persuade me to say, Mingyu, what can you do if you bow your head and admit your mistake? But with my character, how can I apologize for what I didn't do wrong? With that little time and energy, I might as well run more business! Fortunately, I lived up to expectations, and then I was promoted and raised by running a business. Soon she was on an equal footing with her, then she became her boss, and then the boss's boss. We are here today. How is she? Anyway, she didn't leave for some objective reasons. It has been handed over to me. At this time, I am faced with two choices, one is to do my best to retaliate and the other is to forgive. Manager Zhou, if it were you, what would you choose? "
Manager Zhou: "Go on, I want to hear your choice."
Mingyu: "I'm sure it's revenge. I am not a saint. " (This kind of answer makes the other person feel no denial and criticism, so there will be no sense of shame and resistance. )
Manager Zhou: "How did you get revenge?"
Mingyu: "I thought about demoting her and letting her disappear from my eyes. I even thought about making her unemployed and asking her to beg me in turn. Tell me to my face that she is wrong and shouldn't treat me like that. Then on second thought, I ran over and left people there. I turned around and knocked the man down. I can't win without force! Besides, I can't sail before the wind. What if the wind turns? Do things or leave some room for yourself! Anyway, this incident made me understand that confrontation and confrontation between two people will only hurt each other in the end. There is no winner, which is even more meaningless. Manager Zhou, my story is over. "
Manager Zhou: "OK, I see what you mean. Don't worry, I know what to do. "
In fact, such communication skills are also applicable to parent-child communication!