Our company is engaged in engineering. At that time, I was responsible for a project in Tangshan. Because I basically had to live on the construction site, over time I came to know that the phenomenon of temporary couples on construction sites does exist. For some reasons, some men go out to work, and some women go out to work. People have emotions and desires, and they all have physiological needs over time, so they will naturally form temporary couples. However, this approach is not only harmful to ethics and morals, but also detrimental to the family, and will ultimately harm others and ourselves.
This phenomenon is especially common on construction sites, because most of the migrant workers work in the same place or nearby villages, and some of them have relatives. Young men and women have been together for a long time, and they have mutual feelings for each other. If you have a good impression, you will inevitably cheat. Rural workers are the hardest working people and also the most respectable people. Most of them have little knowledge and don’t think too much about what they do. Among the huge migrant workers, there are many temporary couples. To put it bluntly, temporary couples are cheating and marital betrayal.
There are often reports on the Internet about murders due to cheating. No matter what, everyone should not choose temporary couples, because this kind of behavior is inherently a betrayal of ethics, and temporary couples are tantamount to playing with fire. Temporary couples are not acceptable from a legal or moral perspective. But it is also a normal phenomenon from a human nature point of view. How did the temporary couple come into being? A netizen revealed his situation! After meeting by chance, they spoke quite honestly. We met a few more times and learned that this girl's family was very tired.
This guy said, anyway, the house I rent costs the same amount for one person and the same amount for two people. Why don't you give up your house and live with me? At first the woman disagreed. Later, my family was also waiting for money, and I felt that what the buddy said was right. So the two of them lived together. After consultation, the AA system was adopted for meals. The rent is still paid by the man. After get off work, whoever comes back early cooks. This seems to be similar to the life of a normal married couple.
But there is no airtight wall in the world. Finally one day, my wife found out about this brother. Find a place to live, fight, and get divorced. Later, after being persuaded by many people, we finally decided not to divorce. Although the family relationship is still maintained, it exists in name only. So don’t take the path of a temporary couple. From this point of view, there are many reasons for forming temporary couples. The rent is high and wages are low. Beyond that, there’s the human side. Living alone for a long time is indeed lonely and lonely.
Not to mention a person, even a small insect or animal needs a companion. This reminds me of a few days ago when I saw on the Internet that some migrant workers brought their wives to the construction site. Since they could not afford to rent a house, they had to stay in a dormitory with a piece of cloth to cover them. These things do exist, and there is really no way to solve them. In short, life is not easy and life is difficult. Although the temporary couple solved many practical problems, once it was exposed, the family became cold. Just don’t do it.
This phenomenon is relatively common. Last winter, I conducted an in-depth investigation into a company and discovered this problem. This company has more than 800 migrant workers, 132 of whom have stayed in the company for a long time, and the rest have food and shelter. Among these 132 people, 21 were "temporary couples". In addition, 4 women who lived at home had improper relationships with men who stayed for a long time. This company accounted for more than 20% of those who maintained such relationships.
These people live in different dormitories in this company, but these people sometimes stay in small hotels next to the company. Third, some people in the enterprise do not avoid others at all. They eat together and go out together on the street. It is very open for a woman to wash clothes for a man, and it is also open for a man to help a woman do heavy work. Others said it, and they all laughed it off.
Don’t think that being a temporary couple will bring any benefits to one party! Something happened and it’s too late to regret!
There is a woman among our relatives, I call her cousin!
My cousin drinks alcohol all the year round, which damages his health. They can't have sex as husband and wife. All relatives know that they have been sleeping in separate beds for 20 years! The cousin's aunt left her cousin at home in order to earn tuition for her daughter who was going to college. I went alone to a pig farm in Yunxiao, Xiamen to cook for the workers.
The workers on the pig farm are all men of similar age to her. She fell in love with a man who often helped her and started a temporary husband and wife pig farm. They rented a house to live outside, and my cousin was very happy. When she has physical needs, the man will give her an additional 1,000 yuan.
The good times didn't last long, and my cousin's lower body hurt and itched. Genital warts are a sexually transmitted disease. The man admitted that he got the disease from the young lady and passed it on to her. The disease has not been cured even after spending 20,000 yuan, and the man only paid half of the treatment fee.
My cousin secretly went back to the local area to see a doctor. Unexpectedly, she was discovered by people in the village when she was seeing a sexually transmitted disease, and the news spread in the village. Naturally, it reached the ears of my cousin, who knew that he felt guilty towards his aunt. He did not divorce his cousin, but he went to the pig farm to argue with the man. They have already left, and the tea will be cold when they leave! My cousin spent another 10,000 yuan to cure the disease, which was a waste of time. All the money she earned from her part-time job was used to treat sexually transmitted diseases. From then on, facing the criticism of everyone, my cousin regretted it and suffered terribly!
Yeah, what a bullshit temporary couple. To put it bluntly, it means having an affair with someone. If you do this kind of thing, if someone finds out about it, you will have to accept moral criticism from others, which is like rubbing your spine. Being looked down upon and scolded by others can only hide and cry! So don’t joke about this kind of thing!
I have seen a real example. A migrant worker posted various WeChat messages with women near his workplace. Not to mention, casting a wide net to catch more fish really makes sense, and he got what he wanted. He hooked up with two women. One bought him clothes and fruits, and the other took him shopping malls and mobile phones when he was off work. He spent more than 3,000 at a time. The problem is that these two women have husbands. She has a child, she is around 40 years old, her looks are indeed average, and the man is married and has children in his hometown. It may be more appropriate to say that it is an extramarital affair, but the important thing is that the two women know each other, so there is no solution. , I can only suspect that the man’s ability is too strong? But there is no leakage. One of the women's husband found out and came to the house with a knife to kill people. The worker jumped over the wall and ran away. He never came back. His things were not packed. He later called the boss to ask for his wages. Personally, I feel that if you are not a reasonable and legal partner for a lifetime, you should not harm yourself or deceive others just for the sake of illusory loneliness. After all, it is not nice to say that it is an affair that destroys the family. What do you think?
I think it is There is nothing wrong with being a temporary couple, as long as it does not affect the families of both parties, it is fine. Three chapters of the agreement. I am a rather carefree person, my wife is at home, but everyone has emotions and desires, and it is impossible not to have sex all year round. Even men cannot bear it, unless they are sick.
I found a guy from Guizhou in 2008, but I told him first that it was just for fun, not serious. For example, one party calls home, and the other party cannot say anything. There is also an AA budget for renting a house, but I still have to pay more. We are a husband and wife outside the home. During the New Year holidays, we each go to our own homes and find our own mothers. If one party's family is in trouble, he borrows from the other party, but pays back what he borrows. For example, when my family bought a house and was short of money, she lent me 60,000 yuan, which was not enough. She asked her fellow villager to borrow it, but I had to pay it back. The year before last, her husband fell to death after drinking. , I sent her to the car. Last year, when her family was building a house, I lent her 35,000 yuan (the money she lent me before has been repaid). In fact, we trust each other and support each other. It’s nothing, and the physical problems have been solved. I asked her now if she is still looking for a husband, and she said that she is not looking for her anymore. She will no longer work part-time and will go back to take care of her grandson. If she finds a husband, she is asking for trouble. But she is very strict with me and is not allowed to play with other women. If she finds out, she will beat that woman. She is stricter than my wife. My brother and sister-in-law came to my place to play. She also called her brother and sister-in-law. It didn’t matter. My son came and she was very nice to my son. As long as it doesn't affect the family and the confidentiality is kept well, it's okay. We have been together for ten years, and she cried once when we separated. Please be kind and don't scold me.
Physiological needs are normal, temporary couples are immoral. After I got divorced 15 years ago, my colleague introduced me to a woman who was 5 years younger than me. We were both working in Shanghai. She had a family. She said she wanted a divorce, so I loved her with all my heart. My brother and sister-in-law also live about 50 meters away from me, and we all look familiar. Her brother and sister-in-law didn't object to us being together. During this period, my relatives in my hometown helped me introduce her to my wife many times, and I politely declined many times. After being together for a long time, I found that she had no intention of divorce. Later, I focused on getting to know her and her family better, and she told the truth. When I learned that her husband loved her very much but could not satisfy her physically, I chose to persuade her. After all, life is short and they have a lovely and well-behaved daughter. They should cherish the hard-won complete family. Later, I offered to stop being together because I still wanted to find a wife to get married with and I wanted to have a perfect, legal and perfect family. She agreed that I could find a wife, but every time my sister-in-law called me to come home. She seemed so helpless during the blind date and tried every means to stop me.
Later, I changed my workplace and moved away. Even though she got motion sick, she still found me. She said that as long as you don’t find a wife, I will always stick to you! Later, my uncle helped me introduce my current wife. She came to stay with me for the last time two days before my wife came to Shanghai. She cried all night. Although the relationship only lasted for three or four years, it was something I will never forget for the rest of my life!
Temporary couples will not be accepted from a legal or moral perspective. But it is also a normal phenomenon from a human nature point of view.
How do temporary couples come into being? A buddy revealed the details. His monthly salary is 4,000 yuan and the rent is 400 yuan. In addition to living expenses, I have 2,000 yuan left per month. There is a woman near him with a salary of 3,000 yuan. If there is not much left except rent and living expenses. After meeting by chance, they spoke quite honestly. We met a few more times and learned that this girl's family was very tired. This guy said, anyway, the house I rent costs the same amount for one person, and the same amount for two people. Why don't you give up your house and live with me? At first the woman didn't agree. Later, my family was also waiting for money, and I felt that what the buddy said was right. So the two of them lived together. After consultation, the AA system was adopted for meals. The rent is still paid by the man. After get off work, whoever comes back early cooks. This seems to be similar to the life of a normal married couple. But there is no airtight wall in the world, and finally one day my wife found out about this buddy. Find a place to live, fight, and get divorced. Later, after being persuaded by many people, we finally decided not to divorce. Although the family relationship is still maintained, it exists in name only. So don’t take the path of a temporary couple.
From this point of view, there are many reasons for the formation of temporary couples. The rent is high and wages are low. Beyond that, there’s the human side. Living alone for a long time is indeed lonely and lonely. Not to mention a person, even a small insect or animal needs a companion. This reminds me of a few days ago when I saw on the Internet that some migrant workers brought their wives to the construction site. Since they could not afford to rent a house, they had to stay in a dormitory with a piece of cloth to cover them. These things do exist, and there is really no way to solve them. In short, life is not easy and life is difficult. Although the temporary couple solved many practical problems, once it was exposed, the family became cold. Just don’t do it.
Text/Zhu Gedaotao
My view on the phenomenon of "temporary couples" among migrant workers is: reasonable and unreasonable, absurd but helpless.
About 10 years ago, I came into contact with a temporary couple of migrant workers. The husband, Xiao Xue, met at a hometown gathering. Since we were not far apart and both of us had left our hometowns, we kept in touch from time to time.
Xiao Xue was 28 years old at that time. His wife and children were in his hometown, and he was working alone on a construction site in other places. As we got to know each other better, he told me that he had a lover who was also on a construction site, a cook, 26 years old, and her husband and children were in his hometown. Like him, they were both outsiders.
One morning, I went to the construction site to look for Xiao Xue and happened to see the two of them sleeping together. When the woman saw me coming in, she hurriedly got into bed and covered her head. There were bras and underwear beside the bed... Xiao Xue was used to it, and she didn't show any shame at all. I withdrew and waited for Xiao Xue to get dressed, and then we left together. The woman was also neatly dressed and greeted him at the door. Her simple clothes could not hide her plump body.
I asked Xiao Xue, when you live with a woman outside, don’t you consider your wife’s feelings? Xiao Xue said nonchalantly that he had been out for at least a few months and sometimes almost a year. He was a normal man with needs. What else would he do? I asked if I had never thought about finding a young lady. Xiao Xue said that I had. Firstly, it would cost money to find a young lady. He didn’t earn much to begin with, and secondly, he was afraid of getting sick.
After a while, Xiao Xue got together with the woman who was cooking at the construction site. Both of them worked outside, and the other half was in their hometown, so they became a temporary couple. On the one hand, they meet their physiological needs, and on the other hand, they also form a temporary companionship to keep each other warm in a strange city.
Brother Zhu’s point of view:
my country has a large group of migrant workers who are forced to leave their homes for a living, but they also have physiological needs. For various reasons, they chose the safest and most economical way, which was to find a woman who was also a migrant worker and become a temporary couple.
The temporary marriage of migrant workers is reasonable but unreasonable, because it is a betrayal of the other half, but there is no other way, which is absurd but helpless.
Although I do not agree with this phenomenon and behavior, I understand the difficulties of migrant workers. Who is willing to leave their hometown and abandon their wives and children?
Text/Zhu Ge Daotao
In 2002, I followed the Murakami people to work in a small toy factory in Tang Town, Pudong New District, Shanghai. There were many boys and girls there, and many men. The women who work outside stay at home and take care of their children.
Something will happen over time.
There is a woman who seems to be Huo Shan. She is not tall, but she can talk well and has a pretty face. This has happened to many men.
It was a mess with the mechanic, the printer, and the security guard.
In the printing workshop, there is also a couple who are both fellow villagers. One is the wife (Male A) and the other is the husband (Female A). After a long time, they went out to rent a house, and then they went together to and from work every day. . It was a very nourishing life!
Later, the man’s wife (girl B) came, probably because the children at home had grown up. The woman's husband (Male B) also came. I heard that he found out about their affairs, and one night the two women started to fight because the man (Male A) went to look for the woman. (Female A), was caught by his wife. The man said that she lent me five hundred yuan and asked her for money. The woman's husband (Male B) found out and said that what you have done in recent years is not worth 500 yuan?
Then there was a fight, and the whole factory knew about it.
There is also a woman from Sichuan. Her husband is from Lujiang. It seems that she can’t satisfy her physically. She has an affair with a man from Feidong and rents a house. The whole factory is from Lujiang. , you said that everyone in the family knows about it, even if your husband comes! Finally, due to pressure, the man from Feidong resigned.
Let me talk about another one, also in Pudong, Shanghai. This time it is at the toy factory in Lujiazhai, Xinguang Village. The man is the workshop director and the woman works in the workshop. Because she is more active and smart, she is special. striking. In 2004 and 2005, there were relatively few mobile phones. Because they both had mobile phones, they interacted frequently. In the end, the two of them actually switched mobile phones. Then his wife found out and scolded the girl. The girl's brother wanted to hit the director's wife, and then the director's brother-in-law came up and beat her brother, and then things started to break out.
There is another girl from Huo Qiu’s side in the printing workshop. Girls must not work in the printing workshop. The workshop director will give hints from time to time. The workshop director’s wife is in the printing room. So she didn't dare to make mistakes.
There was a kid from Fuyang. His boss liked his hard work, so he ran to the workshop when he had nothing to do. When he caught the Huoqiu girl, he just hugged and kneaded her. Her screams filled the workshop. ! (To be continued)
With the increase in migrant workers in rural areas, many bad habits have emerged, especially the "temporary couples" we mentioned today. It is stated here that "temporary" is naturally not In fact, this term is a beautified word for a real couple. Strictly speaking, it is an affair within marriage. Once the affair is exposed, it will cause great harm to the families and even the children of both parties.
When I was interning in Shandong, my team leader was in the same situation. His hometown was far away from the construction site, and the elderly and children at home needed to be taken care of, so his wife did not come with him. We were a lathe team. The workshop is responsible for the first step of the workpiece. After the workpiece is processed, the transportation team will send the workpiece to the opposite workshop for the next process. Since the workpiece is transported by vehicle, the labor intensity is not high, so most of them are done by women.
Our team leader formed a temporary family with one of the female riders. At first, the two of them were more concerned about the opinions of their colleagues. They just helped our team leader wash clothes every day. Because our team leader is " "Old employee", so he got off work ten minutes early, just in time to help the riders make meals. After a long time, this matter was no longer a secret. The two of them simply moved in together and lived like this on weekdays. During the holidays last year When the time comes, they go back to their respective homes.
Originally, we were living in peace and harmony. We each got what we needed and helped each other in life. However, in April of this year, our team leader’s mother fell ill. It was quite serious. It happened that our team leader’s mobile phone was crushed while working. His wife was worried that the old man had no money for medical treatment, so she took a taxi to our factory and asked the team leader to get some money. It was a coincidence that she happened to meet the team leader and the driver in the car. They hugged each other, and his wife threw her hands away and slapped the team leader on the face.
The team leader quickly coaxed his wife to tell her that it was not what she saw. The team leader’s wife didn’t say anything else and just told her to go home and talk. Later, the team leader never came to work again. I don’t know what happened. , the husband of the female driver also found out about this and beat her severely, and later divorced her because of this.
It can be said that you are harming others and yourself, just for your own temporary needs, ruining the happiness of two families, how stupid.
I even heard from some friends that my daughter-in-law knew that she was forming a "temporary couple" outside her home, and she secretly did it at home. "Ask for it."
This kind of "temporary couple" is not an isolated case of migrant workers. It can be said that this situation occurs in all walks of life, but it is called by different names. You are like "second wife" or "mistress". Although the names are different, the harm caused to both families is the same.
If there is a friend around you who is making this kind of mistake, please correct him in time. Letting him go will be the greatest harm to him. Even if he complains a few words to you now, it will be a hundred times stronger than the hatred he will have in the future.
This kind of social phenomenon is normal. I have never seen "temporary couples" of migrant workers in person, but I have seen several pairs of temporary couples of underground workers. Some coal companies have employees from all over the world. For example, my company has workers from Zhejiang, Liaoning, Jilin, Inner Mongolia, Yunnan and other provinces. They all have their own house or land at home, and the wife takes the children to work or farm at home. For the sake of the children's study, the whole family does not move here. They work in our unit, and part of the money they earn every month is sent home and part is kept for themselves.
Some of them are restless and go to bathing and massage parlors, and more often find a divorced or husbandless woman nearby to live with. Like a couple, they go out shopping, buy groceries, and cook when they have time. They live more like a couple than a couple. Due to the high turnover of corporate employees, some employees resigned and returned to their hometowns, and they were not allowed to take women with them. The two parties just get along and part ways, and break up peacefully without any quarrel or fuss. After a while, this woman will find another one and continue to live like this. Moreover, even if you have just arrived in this unfamiliar area from another province, don't worry. If you want to find it, there are such advertisements on the telephone poles near your workplace, and the phone numbers are clearly written. I still get along quite well with a colleague from my former workplace. So far, he has found two in one day. A few days ago, he saw him coming back from grocery shopping with a lady after get off work.
People in the work unit are used to this kind of thing, and they never look at them strangely. A man works outside to earn money, and his wife and children are far away. He also has his own physical needs and pursuits in life. Find a woman to live temporarily, one who is willing to fight and one who is willing to be beaten, so as not to drink too much outside, cause some trouble, and cause social instability. But there is something very different that makes people uncomfortable. It's this man who doesn't care about his family and leaves his bankbook in the hands of his temporary wife. No matter how much money there is, it is this temporary wife who will open it. There is a friend named Li in the work unit. Because of this incident, his wife came to the mine many times and asked him to be transferred back to the province to work. Finally, this friend named Li returned to the province and had no contact with him for several years.
We should not just see the phenomenon of "temporary couples" among migrant workers. In fact, they exist in different industries, but everyone is covering them up. As long as the population is mobile and there is demand, it will always exist.