At that time, my uncle was invited to take care of it, and the keys and everything were in his hand. Then my uncle wanted to live in our house because he moved and had no place to live. My father didn't say strong opposition because of his kindness, but my mother's good-natured people wouldn't let me, and finally asked for a dollar to let them live in.
The reason why I want a dollar is because the nature has changed. It's not that they borrow our house to live in, but that they rent it to him and give them a dollar.
I didn't understand this behavior at that time. Anyway, we are related. It's empty after all. Although it doesn't matter if the new house is not dirty, of course it doesn't matter if you live. Why do you have to rent it to them officially?
In fact, it means that it is unlucky to lend your house to others for funeral, but people would rather lend their house to others for funeral than lend it to couples or couples for accommodation, which shows how taboo and sympathetic this is in the hearts of rural people.
I can't understand the reason for this custom or this concept, but judging from the life performance of the older generation, it really hates this kind of behavior, so gentle people like my mother will strongly oppose it, and even insist that a dollar is just for rent, and then the nature changes and they don't borrow it.
It is said that the reason for doing this is that it will cause great harm to the owner, that is, it will bring bad things and bad luck to the owner.
Maybe at the beginning of this kind of thing, it is to prevent couples from sleeping together where they have been. Because the ancients were always secretive about these aspects, they used this method to avoid accidents, and finally formed this concept and linked it with the fate of future generations.
Then it has been handed down and become something that rural people care about very much. My mother called it a rule, but she couldn't tell what it was to prevent. Anyway, it has something to do with the so-called fate.
Our place is in the northwest of Anhui, which is very close to Henan. I wonder if there is such a custom in other places. ...
"I would rather borrow a house than hold a funeral", which means that when someone holds a funeral, if there is not enough space for the funeral, they need to borrow a neighbor's space. As a neighbor, they can help others.
Because in our traditional culture, benevolence, loyalty and filial piety are regarded as the most important qualities of a person. When an old man in a family dies, it is filial to ask for help in front of a filial person. If you help him, you are doing good deeds and accumulating virtue.
And it is often said that "the dead are the heaviest, and it is safe to be buried underground." When handling the funeral, other unimportant things should make way for the funeral, because the deceased is the noblest at this time, and he will finally bid farewell to the world and relatives and friends, and it is the right thing to let him leave safely.
When Dai Xiao's dutiful son came to ask for help, he must have no other way. We are all fellow villagers, so we will not hesitate to help him tide over the difficulties at this moment, and at the same time, we will accumulate reputation and character for ourselves.
"Don't borrow houses in pairs" means don't lend houses to couples casually, because it will bring unnecessary consequences.
In the era of extremely underdeveloped traffic in ancient times, ordinary people traveled far away, mainly relying on walking, which took a long time to reach their destination. Therefore, when traveling, you often need to prepare enough dry food to satisfy your hunger. Either find a ruined temple for the night, live in a private house, or bite the bullet and spend some money in the inn.
Most temples are located in remote places. Living in a broken temple may be attacked by wild animals, and staying in an inn costs money, so living in a private house has become the choice of most people.
When you meet someone who stays out for the night, the host will generally agree with you. This is an established rule of the ancients. Maybe you will ask for help if you encounter the same problem in the future.
If you spend the night for two, it's either a husband-and-wife relationship or a lover relationship. If you live alone, having sex is inevitable. Making love will not only dirty the bedding of the owner, but the ancients also believed that if it is a new house where the owner has never lived, lonely men and few women will bring bad luck to the owner.
So if couples come to spend the night, the host either refuses or prepares two houses for them to live separately.
In addition, if the tenants are all dirty hands and feet and do something after midnight, isn't the host inviting the wolf into the room?
In other words, the men and women who spend the night are elopers, which will bring trouble to the main family, because the punishment for elopement in ancient times is quite serious, and providing hiding places for elopers will also be severely punished.
Therefore, people often warn the world with "Never borrow a house in pairs".
Simon's point of view: it means that it is ok to park the coffin in a room that others don't use, but couples can't have sex in their wives' homes.
The meaning of "I would rather borrow a house to stop mourning" is easy to understand, that is, someone in my family died, but because my family is too small or for other reasons, I can borrow someone else's idle house.
"You can't borrow a house in pairs" is a relatively obscure statement, that is, a husband and wife can't spend the night at their wife's home, let alone share the same bed, especially not have sex.
This is the traditional concept and custom of the past. Husband and wife go back to their parents' home together. If they need to spend the night, they have to sleep separately at night. It is said that if you share a room with your wife at your parents' house, it will be bad for your parents and unlucky for your family. Therefore, "you can't borrow a house in pairs" is an insurmountable concept.
In fact, I think these customs are more due to the poor housing conditions in rural areas in the past. The family lived in a room and even slept in a pit. When the wife and husband return to their parents' home, they are likely to live in the same room with their parents. So in order to avoid embarrassment, the wife and mother usually sleep next to each other, and the husband and father-in-law also sleep next to each other.
Now many traditional ideas have changed and housing conditions are much better. Every family has a guest room. After relatives and friends come, they usually stay in the guest room. Although many places and people still keep the rule of "not sharing a room with their wives at their parents' home", some young people no longer care about these stereotypes. When they spend the night at their parents' house, they still sleep together and do what they should do.
Thank you for your attention and look forward to your comments!
Hello, I'm Tong Tong Liao vlog. Let me answer this question for you?
First of all? In the traditional culture of China, the concept of "the dead are the greatest" has been thoroughly implemented. No matter what this man was like before his life, what should he do in the countryside if he dies? Leave it there first. If a person come to a bad end, it is disrespectful to the deceased.
Many people think it is unlucky to lend the house to others for funeral. Lending one's house to others for funeral is unwilling to lend it to couples or couples for accommodation, which shows how taboo rural people are, responsive and psychologically struggling!
In another case, the house was lent to a married young couple, and then they shared a room here and soon had children. Medical conditions were not as good as they are now. Children must be born at home. Great, young couples have their own children in other people's homes, which is a bad sign for the head of the household.
Since ancient times, we have been taught that we should all lend a helping hand. Help orphans and widows who are in trouble, donate money and materials to provide funeral supplies, and even let them bury their parents' bodies in their own homes. After all, the ancients thought that the dead were big and buried safely. Let the dead rest in peace is the most important thing. If no one is willing to help, they will die in the wilderness. What a sad thing!
And finally? We have entered a new era, a new society, and traditional concepts have to be changed, but some concepts are still deeply rooted in the hearts of the people. Young people in rural areas probably won't borrow other people's houses when they get married, right? Even if you lose everything, you should prepare a house. However, in the city, renting a house to get married is also a ridicule of many people. Why get married when you can't afford a house? Many places in China have unique rural customs, and each place has different traditional views?
There is a saying in the countryside that "it is better to borrow a house than to lose it, and not to borrow a house in pairs".
Some people say that this custom stems from an old story. It is said that once upon a time, when a man was away, his wife lent her house to a couple, but she lived in different rooms. As a result, one night in the middle of the night, the man suddenly came home and saw men and women playing on his kang. In a rage, he cut it with a knife! The result was a disaster and a big mistake! This is the crime of decapitation, but the reason is that the wife borrows the house! So later people have this old saying to warn people.
Since ancient times, there have been many hotels and post stations for couples to live in, and people say that they pay for it, breaking the taboo! I can see that the mouth is fleshy, so you can say whatever you want!
Therefore, I personally think that the phrase "it is better to borrow a house to stop mourning than to borrow a house in pairs" should be unreasonable. It is a special product of the feudal era! In particular, there are many only-child families in modern people, and it is even more impossible to be so poor! The family with boys and girls is the base of children, and children can live as they please!
what do you think?
There is indeed a saying in the countryside that "it is better to borrow a house to stop mourning than to borrow a house in pairs."
Obviously, this sentence is also easy to understand. In rural areas, it is generally possible to borrow a house for funerals. After all, the dead are the oldest. This is also a kind of respect for the deceased, so it is not taboo to do such a thing in the countryside.
However, it is not feasible to buy a house with loans in pairs.
Is marriage more unlucky than funeral? Why is there such a statement?
I believe that there are still many rural areas with such a rule that no son-in-law and daughter are allowed to share the same bed whenever they return to their parents' home.
At least in Anhui and Henan, there are such customs.
The reason for this statement is that if the daughter and son-in-law share a room in someone else's house, it will be bad for the owner of this house. It will bring bad luck to the owner.
So you must never lend your house to others to get married.
However, if you accept money from others and are lending your house to others, that would be great.
Of course, these are old sayings handed down from generation to generation, which has always been the case in rural areas.
But in the eyes of our present people, of course, this statement has no scientific basis, but everyone has always believed first and then followed.
After all, everyone wants their family to be safe. As the saying goes, more is better than less. Since there is such a saying, it is good for everyone to abide by it.
We all know that it is 2 1 century. In fact, these are all credible. Nowadays, many people get married in hotels, and many spend the night in hotels. I haven't heard that the hotel is ruined because of such a thing.
There are also most hotels, which seem to be opened for the convenience of men and women sharing beds. So we can observe folk customs, but there is really no scientific basis.
Of course, no one will borrow someone else's house because they want to get married. After all, without a house, you can't get a wife at all, right?
A brother's "vulgar social vision"—
The old saying "four don't borrow"
In the past, there was a shortage of materials, and it was common to be in a hurry. Neighbors have become a habit to borrow them. It's easy to borrow it quickly, and it's not difficult to borrow it again. It's normal for guests to borrow salt and return it when they come back from the market tomorrow. You borrow my cow to plow the fields and I borrow your donkey to catch feet. However, there are four things that cannot be borrowed, and borrowing is taboo. There are different opinions in different places, but they are basically the same. What is said here is "don't borrow houses in pairs, don't borrow paper money to burn incense, don't borrow finger prints, and don't borrow sleeves and crotch". And listen to the laity.
Couples who don't borrow money to buy a house, some say they don't borrow money to buy a house to get married or live together with men and women, and some say they are confinement. In the past, many people thought that things between men and women were not good, and it was even worse to do them in their own homes. This is a taboo for blood relatives. When a daughter marries and goes back to her mother's house, her daughter and son-in-law have to live separately, not to mention others. What's more, she said, "I would rather borrow a house to wake up than travel."
Second, you can't borrow things that fool ghosts and gods, such as burning incense with paper money and mounting gold ingots with yellow paper. It is natural for others to make a wish to God with their own things and do good deeds for their ancestors. What happened to ghosts and gods? It's hard to say.
Third, prove to others responsibly, make a guarantee, and don't borrow fingerprints. If a handprint goes down, a family will get money, a family will get benefits and they will get a burden. Most people don't do that.
Fourth, don't borrow sleeves and crotch. Sleeves are called wives by northerners, which may come from brothers like brothers and wives like sleeves. This is a bit humorous. Will you borrow your wife's underwear or will you borrow it? It's just a matter of stealing, not borrowing.
The ancients had wisdom, and the masters were among the people. There are joys and tears, laughter and sadness. In other words, laity, don't take it seriously. If you really want to borrow it, I won't stop you
It is better to borrow a house to stop mourning, not to borrow a house in pairs, but to talk alone. I'd rather borrow a house to stop the funeral, that is, when the old man next door dies, I always have to stay at home for a few days, one is to accept condolences from relatives and friends, the other is to wait for distant relatives to come back to pay homage, or three to five days, or seven or nine days. We seldom stop to rest for eleven days after a funeral. During the mourning period, if the mourners' houses are not enough, people are very willing to borrow houses from their neighbors next door and put wreaths and other funeral supplies, because rural people generally believe that the dead can take away bad luck, bring good luck, send away the plague and usher in peace, which not only helps their neighbors, but also adds auspiciousness to themselves. Why not kill two birds with one stone?
As for "don't borrow a house in pairs", it means that no matter how close couples are, they want them to sleep in separate beds. If men and women can't be separated, they must stick to a bed in other people's homes, which will make the host hate and angry, because if people make love in their own beds, rural people think it will bring ominous and human nature. In some places, even worse. Even if your daughter and son-in-law go home, it's a bit too much to sleep in separate beds.
Naturally, there is a saying that "it is better to borrow a house to stop mourning than to borrow a house in pairs", which is caused by customs and culture. The development of China for thousands of years is the continuation of agricultural society. Although there is street culture and urban culture, it is only the tip of the iceberg relative to the whole group and society. The vast rural development almost represents the historical development of China, so in the long history, due to the backwardness of economy and science, many rural proverbs have appeared, and people hope that these proverbs can avoid disasters and achieve peace and happiness.
Under this beautiful wish that everyone will have, there are many simple and easy-to-understand proverbs, either to persuade people to be good, or to warn people, or to avoid the world, or to watch the stars. Generally speaking, on the one hand, it is the accumulated experience of human life, on the other hand, it is a wise assumption. So, some of them are reasonable, and some of them are pure nonsense.
For example, rural people say: "My fingers are short and thick, and I have been busy all my life", "My face and shell are shaped like awl pears, and I am not afraid of losing my life" and "squinting is not a serious product", which is almost unbelievable; As well as "when you are buried, your family will be ruined", "when you are in front of a big house, you will cry every three years" and "I would rather lose my wealth than give up my house in the south", which are all reflections of rural geomancy. Believe it or not.
As for "water and fertilizer come to the moon, compost is hot", "jujube and persimmon have a bumper harvest for half a year, and they are not afraid of famine", "If you want corn to bear fruit, you must not leave leaves behind" and "a bowl of soup before meals will make you angry. A hundred steps after a meal is not as good as a pharmacy. , are all experiences in people's working life. Both the accumulation of experience and scientific practice are proverbs that guide people's production and life, and they are worth believing.
The original intention of this sentence is actually to say that in rural areas, farmers would rather lend their houses to people for funerals than to others, and at the same time, they cannot lend their houses to others to live with men and women. I believe many people will wonder. Is it unlucky to let the house handle people's funerals? It shouldn't be that they don't want to borrow a house to stop the funeral, but they are more willing to lend it to a couple.
In fact, this is not the case for farmers, because people live and die, and farmers know that they will have such a process. And generally speaking, people borrow houses to stop mourning, usually by neighbors or relatives. Everyone knows the deceased, and they all say that the deceased is older. In this context, farmers are generally willing to borrow.