Adequate language and good language help children grow up healthily. Lack and negative language will greatly dampen children's self-confidence and reduce their sense of security to the outside world.
There is Longquan on the tongue, but killing people does not see blood. Words are like knives. Use them carefully and make good use of them. I was black and blue because of my mother's sharp and hurtful language. Looking back now, I am a little scared. Fortunately, I didn't spend all my childhood with her, but grew up in a warmer language environment.
Before reading the book "Parents' Language", I always thought that we should pay attention to children, that is, after children go to school, that is, after 4 or 5 years old. Because at that time, children had just begun to learn, and they could also show their own advantages or disadvantages. In order to solve it in a targeted manner. But after listening to this book, I found that I was all wet! That exposed only the tip of the iceberg, and the real problem iceberg is still hidden under the ocean of consciousness.
? If you only worry about superficial phenomena, winning the prize will cure the symptoms rather than the root cause. So how do you learn the language of your parents? We study in books. The original work is divided into three modules. I took the content apart and divided it into six parts.
0 1 cochlear implant doctor's discovery
A cochlear implant doctor devoted himself to studying the effect of cochlear implant in children, and found that the postoperative effect of children in different families was very different, especially Zach and Michelle. Through further exploration, we found the reason, because the number and quality of languages given to children by parents in two families are very different, so children have different performances. This further reveals the importance of the early language environment.
The real reason for the gap in children's learning ability
? After understanding the importance of the early language environment, the doctor made a specific experimental investigation and found the real reason for the gap in children's learning ability. One is the poor vocabulary of 30 million words heard before the age of three, and the other is that parents use more positive words and less negative words. The quantity and quality of language that children come into contact with before the age of three will be the base of the pyramid of life. The reserve before the age of three has created the performance after the age of three, and a sufficient vocabulary and good positive language will benefit children endlessly. The original name of this book is also called 30 million words, which emphasizes this point.
Neuroplasticity in children's brain
We have learned the foreign language, so now we have to learn children's brains and nerves. Learn more about the influence of language on children's brains.
Stress hormones are harmful to the construction of neural connections in children's brains. If Ma Bao is anxious during the child-rearing period and his language quality is very low, it will inevitably lead to children's anxiety, such as the secretion of stress hormones. And this will always accompany the child to grow up, even throughout his life. Many children with depression suffered from excessive anxiety and negative language from their parents in childhood.
Before the age of three, the child's brain is developing. Language can stimulate the development of children's brains and nerves, so pay special attention.
04
The influence of language
So how does language affect children? It will have a far-reaching impact on the establishment and cultivation of mathematical ability, spatial ability, gender stereotype, willpower, self-control and execution, compassion and moral outlook.
Some of these influences belong to the ability category, but I pay more attention to two points, namely, compassion and morality, which determine the healthy and sound personality foundation of children, and they can sympathize with others without hurting others. The establishment of moral values is also very important. Many people with antisocial personality or violent tendencies are mostly caused by their failure to establish these two points in their childhood, and they do not feel the influence of their performance on others. To make an inappropriate analogy, just like "painless" patients, they can't get pain feedback when they are injured. In the long run, you will ignore the pain.
Therefore, the influence of language can never be ignored.
05 3T
Principle: Parent-child communication optimizes brain development
After understanding the powerful influence of language, we naturally have to start learning how to communicate with children, such as the 3T principle:
Tune Out of concern. * * * is self-evident. To understand the child's mood, you can't always ask for it according to the standards of adults. Always pay attention to the child's attention point, and then start from that point, or return to the main line. For example, if we read to a child, but the child doesn't listen, but looks at his own bear, then we can understand his feelings, pay attention to the bear, and pay attention to asking in the child's language: "You really want to touch the bear your mother gave you now, right?" Is it super cute? I like you. Would you like to listen to stories with it? "In this way, children can feel that they are cared for and taken care of, and they can accept your other languages more naturally and trustfully.
Talk? There are several points to pay attention to in fuller communication, such as parallel dialogue, less use of pronouns and so on. What impressed me most was the unrealistic expansion of communication language. We can now think of other things through visualization, such as saving a puppy and comforting it. It can be said that if we help this puppy now, it can be reunited with its mother. You are doing very well. Let children imagine the language and have a sense of picture.
In addition, with the expansion of language, children will only say a few words at first, such as hugs and kisses. Then we can tell him in complete language: "Baby, because you miss your mother, you want your mother to hug you, right?"
In the long run, it can help children to establish complete language habits.
Take? Take turns talking. Conversation is a matter for both sides, which requires input, output and feedback. Never spoon-feed communication, so that children's minds are only piled with countless words, but it is useless.
When we communicate with children, we should pay attention to wait patiently for the response, because children need to mobilize many things in their brains for feedback, and their attention is often attracted by other things, so we should be patient.
At the same time, we should use more open-ended questions, not to clarify right and wrong, but to make children think hard and feel more involved, and no matter what the answer is, they can have a certain sense of accomplishment.
In addition to the above 3T, in the new digital age, a new T-turn it off is integrated to turn off electronic equipment. Let the language be carried out between parents and children, and the temperature language between people with love and feedback is better than the indiscriminate language without feedback carried out by electronic devices. So put down your mobile phone and communicate with your children more!
06"3000
The meaning of "ten thousand words"
? 3000
All kinds of words make up for the imbalance of educational resources, change traditional views, break the inherent thinking and further develop children's potential. I hope parents and prospective parents will study hard.
Parents are children's guides and life mentors. In fact, children are also teachers of adults. They teach us with petite and thin bodies, imperfect brains and all kinds of strange questions, which require us to study hard to care for and guide them.
Children can't choose their parents, but parents can choose what language to give their children and what life beliefs to give them.
Parents' mouths are feng shui at home. If you want to have a prosperous family, please work hard