In the winter of 1985, my grandma passed away in a bungalow in Pingdingshan, Urumqi. Three years later, in 1988, I had just arrived in a mountain valley in southern Xinjiang to serve as a soldier for less than half a year. In a correspondence with my uncle, my uncle said that I was very nervous about returning to my hometown because it was for my grandfather’s future. It was only after I got back that I found out that my grandpa had also passed away. Because after grandma passed away, we kept it secret from grandpa, for fear that he would be too old to think about it and have some shortcomings. Therefore, how did he know that grandma passed away three years ago?
After my grandmother passed away, she was buried in Dongshan, Urumqi, which is now a hillside on the north side of the Xinjiang Coal Mine Chemical Plant in Jianquangou, Urumqi. After my grandfather passed away, he was buried in the old cemetery of my grandfather's home. After the Qingming Festival in 2003, my grandma's remains were exhumed and brought back to the cemetery in her hometown by her uncle and aunt, and she was buried with my grandpa, bringing the old couple back together after nearly 20 years of passing away.
Before grandma’s remains were brought back to her hometown, every Qingming Festival, aunts, uncles, and mother would go to grandma’s cemetery to sweep her grave. Since my grandma’s remains were transported back to my hometown, my aunt, uncle, me, and my mother have never been to the cemetery where my grandma was buried.
Grandma and grandpa passed away nearly 30 years ago, but the image of the old couple during their lifetime has always been very clear in my mind. Because, in my childhood, because my grandfather and grandmother died early, I was not yet born when my grandfather passed away, and I was only four or five years old when my grandmother passed away. Therefore, in the lifetimes of my grandma and grandpa, , that is to say, among all the elderly people who are close to us in our family, I have the deepest impression on my grandma and grandpa.
The deep impression I have on my grandma and grandpa has a lot to do with the fact that I lived with an old couple in my childhood and adolescence. Therefore, it is not difficult for me to recall some of the circumstances of my grandma and grandpa’s lifetime. Even though, during the years when I lived with the old couple, I also caused them a lot of trouble because I was young and ignorant. I was very angry, but the constant separation of family ties between the old couple and I will be unforgettable for the rest of my life.
I remember when I was four or five years old, my sister had osteomyelitis and my parents had to see her for medical treatment. My brother was young and my parents couldn’t take care of me, so they sent me to my grandma’s house. My grandma makes egg batter for me every day and lets me eat the egg batter. From then on, in my childhood years, I felt that the relatives around me were not only my parents, but also my grandmother and grandfather.
When I was four or five years old, I didn’t have a deep impression of my grandfather. Maybe it was because he often worked in the fields. What impressed me most at the time was that my grandma had a grandma and an aunt who has now retired from a coal mining and chemical plant in Xinjiang (she had not yet come to Urumqi to work at that time). Later, I don’t know how I returned to my hometown, Qiancun, to go to school. Now I know that it was my aunt who told me that I was thinking about going home to take my younger brother Haisheng with me every day (my younger brother Haisheng was probably not yet one year old at the time), so my aunt carried me back on her back. Qiancun, I met my brother.
Later, when I was in elementary school, my grandma was taken to Urumqi, Xinjiang by my uncle and aunt, leaving my grandpa to live alone in my hometown.
My grandpa can only steam rice but not steamed buns at home. My mother was afraid that he would not be able to eat well. Every Saturday afternoon, she would steam a basket of steamed buns in advance and let me hike after school. Send it to grandpa ten miles away.
In order to take a shortcut, I drove straight from the wilderness to a train station now called Zhandian, passing through a few scattered cemeteries, but I don’t know where I got the courage at that time, but I didn’t have the slightest bit of courage. Not afraid.
After arriving at my grandpa’s house, I met him. It was getting dark and I couldn’t go back, so I slept with him. On the afternoon of the next day (Sunday), I walked back to my hometown of Qiancun, and even Don't delay school on Monday.
Every time I come home, my mother wants to learn the latest about my grandfather’s life at home from me. Every time I go to deliver steamed buns to my grandpa, I will learn from his neighbors that my grandpa looks forward to his grandma coming back from Xinjiang every day so that he can cook for him.
Once, I heard that he angrily asked someone to write a letter to his grandmother in Urumqi, Xinjiang. The content of the letter was: "Do you still want me?" This trick was so effective that my aunt quickly took advantage of the opportunity to visit relatives. Opportunity sent grandma back to her hometown.
My grandma’s family lives in a village on the north bank of the Yellow River, very close to the Yellow River beach. In the south of the village, there are two Yellow River embankments, which the villagers call the first embankment and the second embankment. Erdaodi is close to the village. There is a tributary of the Yellow River under the embankment. The water flowing is no different from the Yellow River. The current is very fast, but the children in the village often swim in it, but they have never heard of the Yellow River. People have drowned in the tributaries.
My grandfather once warned me not to bathe in that river, as people would drown. However, I did not take my grandfather’s words to heart. In the end, I went to the south of the village with someone I knew. Several friends went to the river to swim, more than once.
I remember that the most interesting thing in that river was Zha Mengzi. He jumped in from the river and did not show his head under the water. He could be washed dozens of meters away by the rushing Yellow River water before he could be exposed. It was thrilling and exciting. Now I think about how dangerous it was!
The water in the Yellow River is muddy and sandy, and is not clean. My friends and I often climb out of the river with mud on our faces and legs, and then go to the river beach to find some clarified water. The small puddle in the water to wash away the yellow mud on the body.
There are many tall walnut trees on both sides of the river. In summer, the walnut trees are covered with green walnuts. When the breeze blows, the dense leaves of the walnut trees make a swishing sound, making you feel extra cool under the trees. My friends and I climbed up the walnut tree many times to pick the immature green walnuts.
Not far to the south of Erdaodi, there is a Yellow River embankment. The reason why it is called a big embankment is because it is higher and much longer than Erdaodi. There are dense woods on both sides of the Yellow River embankment. At the top of the Yellow River embankment is a dirt road, and various vehicles can be seen passing by from time to time. On one side of the dirt road, there is a wooden tower. Whenever the sun goes down, you can climb up to the wooden tower and look far south. You can see the Yellow River Bridge across the north and south of Zhengzhou City, as well as the winding trains passing on the bridge.
I am timid and have never climbed to the top of a wooden tower. I heard that some people have. Villagers said that this wooden tower was used as a sentry tower when the Japanese invaded China. In 2006, I was a guest at the home of a fellow villager from my mother’s former village who had lived in Urumqi for 40 years. He also spent his childhood here. He said that it was a weather vane to measure the wind direction. I never verified it for this purpose. . At that time, some of the wood at the bottom of the wooden tower had corroded due to exposure to wind, sun, and rain, so many people did not dare to climb up, for fear that the wooden tower would break when they reached the middle and fall down. Many times, I climbed to one or two floors before not daring to climb any higher.
In my childhood, it can be said that my grandma and grandpa’s house was the place I longed for day and night. Not only me, my second brother, my younger brother and I also have the same feelings as me.
My grandma loved us very much. I remember one time during the summer vacation, my grandma’s neighbor named "Guadan'er" and I went to the melon field south of the Yellow River embankment to pick up melon seeds. Picking up melon seeds means taking out the pulp of a rotten watermelon, then picking out the seeds one by one with your fingers and putting them in a basket. After returning home, without my knowledge, my grandma spread the melon seeds I picked up on the west edge of the small kitchen on the east edge of their house to expose them in the sun. After drying, what I didn't expect was that, My grandma had already put them away for me, and when I returned to Qiancun, she asked me to take them all home without leaving a single penny.
When I was in junior high school, my mother had the idea of ??letting me go to school at my grandma’s house. Her intention is that, first, she can help her grandma and grandpa do some work and take care of the two elderly people. Second, if possible in the future, she can live directly with her grandma and inherit their five-room old house. house. But in fact, I completely went against my mother's intentions and made my grandma and grandpa angry.
When I first moved from our village to my grandma and grandpa’s home to attend school, my relationship with them was still very harmonious.
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I think now that what my mother said is not unreasonable. Because in the early 1980s, no one’s family lived a wealthy life. I lived in my grandma’s house and never gave them anything. Taking food and living in other people's homes all the time, the couple couldn't go out freely as they wanted to eat, because they had to think about cooking three meals for me every day. It was okay for a short time, but if it lasted more than a year, it wouldn't be possible. Not necessarily.
I brought some kilograms of flour (coarse grains and fine grains) at home and gave them to the director of the school cafeteria. After that, I was in the same class as my classmates who lived on campus. Or students from different classes lived together on campus.
During the days of living on campus, I was always in a depressed state. Fortunately, it didn’t take too long, so I took the exam. High school. I never had the courage to go to my grandma's house again. But one day, even worse news happened. My grandpa accidentally fell while working in the paddy field and broke his intestines. Great! So my uncle had to rush back from the distant city of Urumqi.
Later I heard that my grandpa was sent to Xinxiang Hospital on the spot, and my mother came back to take care of him. At home, I slept on the floor. I heard that my uncle was back. One night, I mustered up the courage to go to my grandma’s house and explained to my uncle the story of the conflict between me and my grandma and grandpa. Unexpectedly, my uncle didn’t listen to me at all. To explain, just say: “Let’s go! Go back to school! "
I had a stubborn temper at the time. After my uncle said this, I felt aggrieved, so I left my grandma's house without saying anything and went to school without looking back.
The estrangement between my grandma, grandpa, and uncle was not resolved until I came to Urumqi in November 1983.
In the autumn of 1984, when my aunt returned to her hometown to visit her, she discovered that. When my grandma got sick, she took her to Urumqi and lived in a shantytown on Pingdingshan, considering that her aunt and my mother had no time to take care of her. At that time, I was already working at the Urumqi Milk Company Dairy Factory. I still lived with my grandma until I later worked as a loader and moved to the factory. Later, I worked as a milk pump and then moved back home. I had a very harmonious relationship with my grandma.
The first time I came back from get off work, my grandma always asked me: "Are you busy at work?" "I said that I worked in a dairy factory and was not busy at work. I often asked her about things in her hometown.
I remember once, the second brother in my hometown mailed me a photo of his eldest son Pengfei's one-year-old birthday. I After receiving it, I took it home and showed it to my grandma. Grandma was very happy. She smiled and said, "Look, how fat and good it is!" Your second brother knew I was here, so he sent the photo over! ”
Later I found out that my grandma was suffering from cervical cancer, which was in the advanced stage. However, my aunt had no intention of giving up treatment for my grandma’s disease. She tried every means to treat her, and even specially treated her. I asked an old Chinese medicine doctor to treat my grandma and prescribed several medicines. Although she took these medicines orally, they did not alleviate the symptoms at all, and they were getting worse day by day. The doctor said that there was nothing that could be done. Then I was taken home for recuperation.
One day after get off work, I saw that my grandma was able to walk and speak. I was very happy because I didn’t know that her illness was in an advanced stage. I secretly wished and hoped that my grandma would recover from her illness as soon as possible. I walked forward, sat on her bed, and talked to her. When grandma saw me, she spoke to me first: "Look at what grandma is like!" "Looking very helpless. I said: "Grandma, it's okay, your disease will be cured! "My grandma's feet are bound, and her feet are small, so she doesn't feel very stable when walking. It's obviously more difficult to walk when she's sick.
What I didn't expect was that I heard the old man say it later. Grandma got up and walked around, including what she said that day. The next day, grandma lay in bed and could no longer speak, and her breathing was extremely difficult. It felt like there was phlegm in her throat that was not clear. The person also felt extremely uncomfortable. This situation lasted for several days and nights.
Some old people who knew about this phenomenon said: "Hurry up and prepare for the funeral of the old man!" My aunt may have prepared my grandma's shroud, but I don't know.
There are only a few days apart. That afternoon, I came back from get off work at the dairy and it felt very cold. It may have snowed for the first time in Urumqi at that time. As soon as I entered the corridor of the bungalow where I lived in Pingdingshan, I felt very quiet. When I returned to the house, I felt that the lights were dim. I saw that my aunt was alone at home. The first thing she said when she saw me was: "Your grandma is gone!" I understood what my aunt meant.
Later I found out that the reason my grandma’s tone never stopped was because he had not seen her son, my uncle, before leaving. That afternoon, after my uncle came, although my grandma could no longer speak at all, she saw her son after all, so she finally breathed her last breath after seeing her son.
In the middle of the floor of the inner room, a bunk was made. Grandma was lying there quietly, with her head covered and a white sheet covering her body.
When my aunt saw that I was back, she asked me to stay by my grandma’s side while she went out to coordinate with others to help handle grandma’s funeral affairs.
I sat next to my grandma’s body and didn’t feel the slightest fear. Looking at my grandma’s body, I thought a lot. But it was more uncomfortable because it was impossible to see her again from now on. I thought to myself: How come human life is so short!
It wasn’t until very late that my aunt came back from outside, and behind her was a fellow from Henan who came to Xinjiang in the 1950s. He helped us come up with ideas and find ways to do it.
On the night of the second day, my uncle, aunt, and cousins ??all came. All the relatives gathered in the small bungalow in Pingdingshan that I will never forget for the rest of my life to keep vigil for my grandma. According to the customs in our hometown, when an old man passes away, he must stay at home for three days before and after the death, and he can only be buried in the afternoon of the third day.
After my grandma passed away, my aunt and uncle asked many people to help with her funeral arrangements. They bought a coffin for her and also found a feng shui expert to choose a burial site for her.
Later I found out that the Feng Shui was really good. The cemetery she designated for her grandma was located on a hillside. From a distance, there was a small hill at the foot of the hill, and a small stream under the hill. Vast and empty. But when someone was asked to dig the grave, they found a large stone underneath. How can the location of the tomb specified by the Feng Shui master be changed randomly? There was no other way, so the grave digger hired by my uncle at the work unit smashed most of the big stone with a pickaxe, and then dug out the entire tomb. On the afternoon of the third day, with the help of many kind people, my grandma's body was buried on the hillside.
I remember the day when my grandma’s body was buried, the weather was very cold, the sky was dark, the biting cold wind kept blowing, the hillside was covered with snow, and the road was very difficult to walk.
According to the customs in our hometown, on the second day of the burial, all relatives should go to the cemetery to "pick soup" for the old man. When "picking soup", everyone buried a dumpling in the soil of the grave, and dug it out after a while. Whose dumpling became bigger, which proved his filial piety to the old man. But the weather was too cold that day. The dumplings were frozen into lumps before they were even buried.
But no matter what, the burial of my grandma’s body went smoothly. In the words of my aunt, she was a good person throughout her life, with a good temper and a good heart, and she would not embarrass her descendants! This is the result of the old man's lifelong virtues!