I didn't go to college in Sun Shan for a time, but I am a young man with ideals and ambitions. The annual national conscription began again, and I signed up enthusiastically. ...
The villagers beat gongs and drums to see me off.
Father's exhortation, in mind, thick maternal love, sprinkled on the journey, like bright sunshine.
Tearfully bid farewell to my poor home where I was born and raised, to the graceful poplars on the beautiful hills, and to the flocks of cattle and sheep on the vast grassland. ...
Time flies.
I went back to my hometown and was still poor.
I saw a thatched cottage, low, damp and dark.
I saw that on a starry night, simple and kind villagers were still burning kerosene lamps, which rang loudly.
I saw that there was only one bed left in the hut where the villagers lived, except for a jar.
I saw that all the girls in the village ran away one by one and married in a far-away village.
I saw the young man in the village, looking ill and crying for his wife. ...
In the democratic election, I became the village head. I swear to God, I will make Gankun a new face and the old village look brand-new!
I saw that the school building in the village was cracked, and I wanted to build a teaching building so that children could sit in the spacious and bright classroom to study.
Run money, one trip after another, run to the countryside, run to the county seat, and even run to the province ... run a broken leg, sharpen your mouth, and finally ...
I mobilized villagers to actively donate money, which is a long-term plan, focusing on education.
I see, every household, every household, hiding.
At night, under the dim light in the room, mahjong "crashed".
When I saw the temple being built in the village, the villagers put 20, 30, 50, 100 yuan into the donation box one by one. ...
Ever since I saw Prose 2, I have been longing for the sea. The book says that the heart of the sea is vast and moody, which makes me feel desperate.
Not desire.
Then the first thing I did when I came to this city was to feel the charm of the sea. I have been here several times and always have a very special mood.
I want to feel its vastness and be told of its danger. I want to experience its thinking. I don't know east, west, north and south. I want to experience its tolerance, surrounded by cables. I'm beginning to be disappointed in the sea. I think maybe many people who come to the seaside have my ideas. Standing on the beach, experiencing the feeling of being washed away by the waves, I hope the sea can wash away my confusion in its unique way and let me see my heart.
But the sea, people who don't know it, worship it like a god. After touching it, they unconsciously have more awe of it. Indeed, the sea is not blindly inclusive, it also has its waywardness. The sea in the book is calm and angry, but the real sea is not calm. It can contain all the sins you commit, but it is not gentle and quiet at the same time. Every wave strikes, it is its roar.
I read the prose for three nights, silently. With a hint of coolness, it is as pervasive as mercury. I reached out and watched the night flow in my hand. She is lonely, just like me. She tried to get into every lighted window, and every time she approached, she was torn by the light. I came in at night without turning on the light. I have a lonely soul like her, and loneliness makes me speechless with her. The night surrounds me, my hands, my shoulders and my eyes are all flowing at night, and I stand in the center of the night. In the heart of the night, I see the night crying. She cried her heart out. I have no choice. I asked her why she was so sad, but she kept crying at night. So I watched her cry quietly. I knew she would tell me. Lonely hearts are interlinked. I looked up out of the window, and the crescent moon hung like a hook in the night sky.
I lit a cigarette, and the burner flashed at night, and the smoke emitted showed blue loneliness in the moonlight. I can't help sighing. Why is my life always accompanied by loneliness and cigarettes? I should have asked myself this question many times, but in the end I always couldn't answer it myself.
The fast-paced life in the city is difficult for many people, including me. Everything I do every day is the same as yesterday, and the life of formula words makes me feel passionless. I feel depressed every day. I feel like something is missing from my life, but I can't say what it is.
I read Prose 4. Since I was born, I have seen complicated things, mostly those annoying things. Gradually, some negative things appeared, and a synonym came-"happiness".
Many people, at work and in life, are very vague, unable to see themselves clearly and others clearly. Mostly camouflage, there are high and low points, and there are also good and evil thoughts. Many times, a lot of things can't be taken away, leaving unforgettable memories.
Want to hate, what can hate bring me. I hate myself more, but I don't think about it. Maybe I can forget what just happened. As the days passed, the wind erased the memory of the clouds, and the rain recalled the baptism of lightning.
Poor all his life, really? And my answer is very affirmative-yes, words are the most worthless thing, and they are given to too many people for free. Some people use it to become lofty, some people use it to do all the bad things, some people use it to move into an empty door, and some people use it to educate human beings, but I think free is the best.
Our life is always nothing. From the baby, naked arrival, that cry is soft and weak, and the soul is tightly wrapped naked. Life is full of waves, until the end of life, it is just a dry corpse, where did it come from?
However, some things have been left behind more or less and become a part of others' lives. When they left, it seemed that nothing was left, but those people were very sad, one step at a time, one look.
We gradually divided a lot of things, and pronouns "blue face" and "red face" appeared between people, and more were naming loneliness. There is no love in this world. People who enter the marriage hall for love begin to fall in love, and life tends to be mediocre, dim and even separated. People who part ways for love are always unwilling, more sad, too deep or unable to extricate themselves.
Some people say don't write poetry, I think it's funny. Poetry plays a role in my life. It seems that it has nothing to do with you, and it also refers to other people's life trajectories. If you put your hands together at this moment, dreaming of this world and feeling it inadvertently, I think you will let it go.
Talking about contradictions, there are different opinions. There is no definition. Life is a contradiction, so why bother? Pick it up if you like it, and put it down if you don't like it.
The world is so big that you don't even know where to go. Small things are always humble. I began to doubt how my life would end and how to plant flowers.
Most of the time, all I see is a wilderness. When Buddhism is relieved, it's Buddhist's turn to love others more than yourself. I started trying. I started getting black and blue.
I saw Prose 5. I see your indifference.
But I want to warm this indifference
I saw it.
Actually, I haven't accepted your indifference yet.
I understand your pain.
But I want to end this pain
I saw it.
Actually, I didn't accompany you in pain.
I see your selfishness.
But judging your selfishness
I saw it.
What really surges up is my selfishness.
I see your anger.
But I want to avoid your anger
I saw it.
Actually, I won't allow you to be angry.
I understand your anxiety.
But worry about your anxiety.
I saw it.
Actually, I'm already getting anxious.
I see your weakness.
But I don't know which hand to hold you with.
I saw it.
In fact, there is nothing I can do at the moment.
I see your beauty.
Appreciate your beauty.
I saw it.
Now I'm beautiful, too.
I see your kindness.
Rejoice in your kindness.
I saw it.
I was kind, too.
I understand your point.
Believe your truth.
I saw it.
I am so real.
I see your firmness.
See the tenderness together.
I saw it.
I am firm and gentle.
I saw your power.
Feel the power of flexibility
I saw it.
I am accepting such power.
I see your humility.
Feel your inner confidence.
I saw it.
I also began to bow my head and feel inferior.
I see your calmness.
And feel calm sympathy.
I saw it.
I'm approaching sympathy.
I see your openness.
Embrace your openness
I saw it.
Actually, I'm also open.
I saw what you gave me.
There are no conditions
I saw it.
In fact, I also learned to share myself.
I see your purity.
only
Do what you want.
Love the person you want to love.
Go your own way.
Cry when it hurts, and laugh when you are happy.
Rest when you are tired and leave when you are ready.
I saw myself, too
If you're interested.
just have a look
Accept what you see.
And I don't want to change right away.
Through observation
I saw myself.
See also.
The initial purity and thoroughness of life
Be a warm person
I saw the sun, and it lit up the world. This is a warm reflection of the soul. The sun shines on me, I sit cross-legged on the top of the mountain, and the wind is sobbing with my dreams. I closed my eyes, and the sobbing river washed away the sun and the moon on the waves and the beach. I stopped thinking about the world and watched the sun rise quietly.
The sun is the love that rises in my hands, and I have poured all the joys and sorrows of my life into it. In the storm, the Woods are full of unintentional strangers walking. I set foot on the ancient road in the sunset, and an old horse hobbled with my fatigue. I was surrounded by the sound of flowing water from a small bridge, and the loneliness of the world flooded into my heart.
Western jackdaw in the west falls on my shoulder, and the barking of dogs sounds like the distant thoughts of my hometown. I walked through the fragrant flowers in spring, and the flowers fell like water. I also wander alone in the clouds, and flocks of geese flying south are getting farther and farther away from me.
It suddenly occurred to me that you are my infatuated peach blossom misty rain. You walked through my heart with an umbrella, and the drizzle all over the sky wet my heart. I turn to the end of the world and sincerely pray on the earth, wishing you happiness.
I packed my bags and left with endless joys and sorrows. The sunset in the desert surrounded me, and my life fell into a hellish desolation. I dance sword, cut off worldly desires, cut off affairs, cut off human joys and sorrows.
Sometimes I can see flocks of cattle and sheep burying their heads in the grass. Sometimes, I can hear the plateau eagle wailing in the sky because of missing. Sometimes, I can smell the fragrance of highland barley wine floating from the farmhouse. Yes! Three thousand years in a blink of an eye, but I can't wait for the sun to rise.
This time, I will sink into the night before dawn, which is the starting point for me to see all the Chang 'an flowers in one day, and it is also my epiphany that "a misty rain will last a lifetime". I don't want to be drunk, and I don't want to be held back by snow.
Flowers bloom and fall in this life. Looking at the moon occasionally makes me feel frustrated. I've seen acacia live up to expectations, and I've seen people feel uncomfortable at the sight of the moon.
Wuyi Lane, I grow with weeds, I fly with orioles. The old days are old, and my beard is as white as wind and frost. I live on the love and hate you gave me for the rest of my life.
It's too far. I miss you deeply, your flowery smile appears, I write down your long hair, I write down your smile. I held out my hand, and your cheeks were covered with sadness. You are so gentle and moving, you are so moving.
The days of flying together in western Western jackdaw are drawing near, and the beauty is unbearable. Smiling at flowers is true love, and life and death hate people. My sadness comes from it, and I stopped in LAM Raymond to wait for it.
I buried the sun for inner peace. The sound of my green hair falling to the ground comes from the ancient Deng Qing Temple, and the freedom of wooden fish sneaking around the world also comes from this. I don't worry about the long night, and the moon is always crying. I think my previous life should be a boat on the river, drifting all my life. I have heard of Long song on the Qinhuai River and the bitter days in the eight hutongs.
Finally, I stopped thinking before a flower. I swept all the fallen flowers in front of the courtyard and removed the swing in the wall. Butterflies are flying and chasing in the garden, new red beans are sprouting, and honeysuckle crawling all over the courtyard wall has a home.
I was in heaven, sitting in a rocking chair and taking a nap with a cat. Lazy sunshine permeates my skin, and every minute about you is late. So, I walked quietly through a strange city in the fleeting time, so I watched the sun rise quietly in the quiet years.
Prose 7 suddenly remembered when I saw the phone ringing. Listening to the familiar voice, it turned out to be my old classmate Cai Fang downstairs. She asked me to open the window and look at the new clothes she bought. I opened the window and made a phone call, looking at the well-dressed beauty below. We looked at it from a distance and greeted each other. Although I can't see it clearly, I can see the clothes that fit me, the symmetrical figure and the smiling face of the sun. Enthusiasm is fading. A beautiful morning begins with laughter and accompanies me, just like a song on the stereo: it's raining heavily and it's raining outside, just in line with the mood at this time.
Once upon a time, we were confused and tired by family chores. After painful suffering and reflection, we seem to have realized something, that is, don't be sad for others, treat ourselves well, find our lost youth, dress ourselves up and make wedding dresses for others for so many years, but we have become a weaver without clothes, learned not to hurt ourselves and learned to be good to ourselves. We used to buy clothes to wear.
I tried on clothes in the shopping mall yesterday, wearing clothes that fit me and swinging back and forth in front of the mirror. Suddenly I heard a compliment: Your figure is really good! I am secretly pleased! This is the first time someone has praised me for my good figure. Laughing me to death, this is really the first time! Because the figure is really poor, there is no line at all, just like a bucket, there is no S-shape. At first glance, the editor's figure is very fat. No wonder he praised me. It is really more than enough. It's nice to get a compliment from someone. Vanity is satisfied. It's good to be appreciated!
Our three old classmates, sisters and old buddies bought the same clothes, which can be said to be unified. Traveling together is more like sisters. I gained weight in front of my two slim sisters. Fortunately, because of mental reasons, I lost more than ten kilograms and lost a lot.
It's raining, I'm talking, and love continues. This disappointment will spread everywhere.
I read Prose 8. Once you made up beautiful fairy tales for me, and once I often wrote poems for you.
Seconds are minutes. In a blink of an eye, we have been apart for two years. Just yesterday, I agreed to let my friends come to my house for dinner. Of course, I know you two are together. Come to think of it, you and I haven't eaten face to face or met for more than two years. I once wrote it, and if I can, I hope I will never meet it again in my life. However, we meet again.
It was sunny yesterday afternoon, and I went home from work. I don't know why I don't want to see you, but I'm a little happy and sad. I know you have arrived at the mall, but I went home alone, washed my hair and shaved. Although it is unnecessary, I seem to feel that only in this way can you feel how well I am doing and don't want you to see me sad. Perhaps, only in this way, is the best gift you left me. Of course, I can't tell the difference. I said, "If you don't leave, I will never leave before you."
Right and wrong, only the blank has been slowly baptized by time. I think this is also the reason why I have the courage, or I don't hate you. I am willing to call you and I want to see you again.
I met you two in front of the mall. In order to ease the embarrassment, friends immediately told each other how not to say hello. The first thing you said: Long time no see, Changbai.
To ease the atmosphere, I said, I have been so white to find out. I don't know if you really laughed at the distance of less than 1 meter.
At the mall, I only buy vegetables. But I didn't tell you, and I don't know where to start. I'm really at a loss to talk about the past or the future. My friend asked privately, have you ever thought of meeting again one day? Are you embarrassed?
I smiled and answered frankly, things have long passed, nothing. But I don't know what's on your mind. Are you like me? You, standing on the opposite side, are so familiar and strange. I want to laugh and cry.
I don't want to cook at all when I get home. I think you want to eat my cooking, but I don't know why, so I asked another friend who lives with us to have dinner together, and asked her to help me cook, and I cooked with her. I don't know if I'm angry with you on purpose, or do I want you to know that I'm fine and carefree? Because some of our friends who live together are fellow villagers, they have a good relationship and are very casual. Some of her words may make you most dissatisfied. Later, you finally told me something by buying spices.
You ask the woman who cooks what is the relationship with me, why do you ask me so much, and tell me what to do. And I said: nothing, a good relationship. Make you speechless. In fact, we have nothing to talk about except having dinner occasionally, but among ordinary friends, I have never had wild thoughts about her. Even sometimes I hate them, but I think God sent them to torture me or help me, because I hate taking out the garbage and so on. With them, I hardly need to do this. So I always respect them. Besides, they are half good friends.
I don't know why, your mobile phone seems to be possessed, and it is a disaster to come to me. Actually, it's stuck, and the battery can't be taken off, so it's useless to turn it on and off. I'm sorry to hear you say that Feng Shui is not good, which reminds me of some unnecessary things. I won't mention it again.
You, or you I like to turn over my mobile phone and open the password. I don't care about anything I was suddenly sad to see you rummaging through my mobile phone. Unfortunately, I don't use BBK anymore. You have replaced Nokia. It seems that you still care about my privacy, whether it's QQ or WeChat. Ask her who she is. It's a pity that there is a lot of information in the mobile phone, but no one pursues you. I think we are all the same.
You don't seem to be in the mood for dinner. I ate very little, and I don't know if it was because I didn't cook it myself. After you finish eating, run to my house. It's already dark. I found you alone with your hands on the windowsill, and your long hair still caught my eye, as if thinking about something. ...
Soon, you have to go back. Seeing you walk out of the house seems to have a deep sob, which makes you feel strange and sad. So you're still the one who loves to cry. However, you can't cry, you know. I have not forgotten what you said. You once said: If we are separated in the future, I will be your mistress. Although I know that after our separation, according to my personality, we will not contact again, but you still said that sentence. I don't know why, other memories won't come to mind, but this sentence comes to mind, because that sentence really touched me.
How generous you were when I sent you away, saying that you must come to me more often in the future and introduce me to your girlfriend when you have the opportunity. In fact, in the past two years, I have met many girls, many of whom are single and have a good relationship. But I can make them miss it again and again.
Once you were my most loyal reader, and you were willing to read every poem, every emotion, every sentence and every word I wrote. I know you still often sneak into my space, but now I have deleted Otawa's poems and sentences about you. But I found that you are still my most loyal reader, secretly reading my every mood and every article. However, now, I don't care much about those, just look, and I won't lack anything, just don't know if you have added much sadness because of it.
You have to go home. You don't know what to say, but what's on your mind. I don't know if you remember what I once said. If we are separated, I'm afraid it will be difficult for me to really get out in two years. In other words, it will be difficult to treat someone sincerely. Now that two years have passed, I don't know how long it will take to meet the real next one.
I think, if I meet him, I will give him a beautiful dream, just like the dream we once had. I think it would be better.
Looking at your distant back and the place where you left, I want to ask, if fate has not come, many years later, if I am old, I don't know who will accompany me in this life.
I saw Prose 9 (1)
I see the water in the lake is full, and so is the water in the river.
For example, whoever opened the floodgate at once flooded it overnight.
I stood on the shore and watched the current rush like a group of people rushing forward.
Everyone is crowded and scrambling. However, no one can tell where to go.
Follow the footsteps of time blindly, move forward, move forward. ...
(2)
I saw a stray cat running like a homeless person in the sudden rain.
It's raining hard and the world is very big.
And no matter how fast it runs, it can't find a place to stay.
Many people have their own homes and live in their own houses.
Heart, but has been on the road of wandering.
(3)
I saw two trees standing side by side and growing in the same posture for many years.
Roots, closely connected; Road traffic.
If one tree falls, another tree will not be lonely.
Obviously, two people haven't said love for a long time, but neither can live without the other.
(4)
I saw a large area of old trees leaning in the same direction at the same angle.
It's like a group of people bending down in front of life at the same time.
Don't laugh, don't sympathize.
Instead of bowing to the cruel reality, they made a pilgrimage in the direction of hope.
(5)
I saw a fish jump out of the fish tank.
It thinks that jumping is freedom, but in fact it is close to death.
Seeing the vast river, I don't want to be imprisoned by a layer of glass.
Scales were damaged, bones were injured, and even life was lost.
Do you think the value is still in the tank?
(6)
I saw an unknown flower in full bloom.
A big stone stood at its feet for many years.
I don't know, is it the stone that has been waiting for flowers to bloom?
In other words, flowers can't bear to live up to the firmness of stones?
(7)
I saw a group of ants gathering on a flower for a meeting.
Some roll in the pollen, some dance on the stamens, and some cross their legs on the petals.
Two of them fought in arms, skidded to the ground and got up again.
They don't care about seats, and it's not without grades.
(8)
I saw a tree full of strange fruits. I always thought it was a peach tree.
In fact, I pass by here every day and see the flowers in spring.
The fruit of the red branch, like hawthorn, is not hawthorn, but it is definitely not peach.
I trust my eyes too much to read the wrong tree. Like, I was wrong about the person I already recognized.
When I see you, I see the prose 10.
I haven't come out for a long time
walk around
Look at the outside world.
The cold sun hangs in the distant horizon.
Maybe shyness can't bring warmth to winter
I blushed.
Silently don't want to talk.
Several kites crossed the season.
Throw yourself into the arms of the sky
The child with the rope.
I fell twice and didn't cry.
I have one in my eye.
A boy who wears the same clothes as you.
The corners of the mouth can't help pulling up a beautiful arc.
Sigh silently in my heart
If that boy were you
Will I sneak away?
to dry one's eyes
then
I dare not look at you with red eyes.
2018 February 5
Spodoptera bugantia (native to Australia)
Postscript,
I miss you so much that I dare not see you. Do you understand this feeling?
If you are in full bloom, butterflies will come. If you are great, the days will be arranged by yourself.