Maybe it's because what she paid was not seen, cherished and responded.
No matter how selfless a person is, women are willing to pay for their families and hope that their actions can be perceived. The family cherished her efforts and thanked her at the right time, making her feel that everything she did was worthwhile. If what she does doesn't get enough response, it will kill her dedication in the long run. Even if you do charity, you will get a thank-you note, won't you?
Because I don't know what specific efforts she is talking about, and take such a small matter as brushing the toilet as an example.
If no one finds out about her efforts, it will definitely dampen her enthusiasm. When she was alone at home, she found the toilet dirty and cleaned it quietly. When her family came back, she didn't notice that the toilet was cleaned. She used it as usual, so she didn't see it. If you put yourself in the other person's shoes every time, will it affect the mentality of the giver? So she has to keep saying it and let everyone know. But if, on the other hand, someone asked her what she had done and told her the results of her labor, then she would stop talking.
Someone took the initiative to find out what she had done and tell her the fruits of her labor. This hides the family's attention and cherish to the fruits of her labor. If the family thinks that there is nothing to say about such a trivial matter as washing the toilet, which is to some extent denying her contribution and thinking that what she has done is not worth mentioning, then she will keep talking and prove that it is very important and her contribution is precious. If it is a greater effort, it needs as much treasure. Maybe it's not enough for someone to help her once, so she will feel cherished by the closest person, and maybe she will ask you to stop talking.
Everyone has a different understanding of everything. Sometimes, just being "seen" and "cherished" is not enough. Maybe it's a small matter of flushing the toilet, but she is very concerned about her family's attitude, so she has been talking and expecting her family's response. So sometimes it's not enough to just watch and cherish. You have to say it and let her know that you saw it and cherished her efforts. Learn to express your gratitude and other thoughts to her, so that she will feel responded and you will participate in the toilet cleaning.
The feeling of being answered is irreplaceable. Communication without response is like hitting a ball without exercise, which makes people anxious, empty and hesitant. Responsive communication is like echoing from afar, harmonious and beautiful.
Most problems in the family come from communication, which is everyone's lifelong homework.
First of all, thank you for inviting me!
In real life, many women, as wives and mothers, often tell their husbands, other family members and even neighbors how much they have contributed to their families. As for what mentality drives her to do so, there are nothing more than the following situations. I divide them into several types.
(1) resentful.
This kind of woman is full of resentment and has no good people in her heart. In a family, they only feel that they are right, and their in-laws and husbands are not pleasing to the eye. I often bury three grievances in front of my husband, saying that my in-laws are biased towards other children, that it is useless to say that I am old and idle, and that I have paid too much and my efforts are not good. He also scolded his in-laws in front of the children and instilled hatred in them. Not to be outdone, mother-in-law will emphasize her role in front of her grandchildren and speak ill of her daughter-in-law. As a result, many families are full of contradictions and attack each other, and many children's early rebellious characters are ignored, let alone filial piety to grandparents and parents.
Many of these families started from their mother-in-law and gradually deepened family conflicts.
(2) Self-centered, bullying.
This kind of woman is very strong, capable and expressive, so she often talks about me and despises or ignores the labor value of other family members. As a wife, she often compares her with her husband, dislikes his incompetence, makes less money, and says that the family is too hard. We have several typical middle-aged and elderly women here, who often yell at their husbands and search for the net light as soon as they come back from earning money outside. My husband has no dignity at home, no friends outside, and others look down on him, so he lives a timid life. In this way, when a woman meets a strong husband, she will not get along, and most of them will not last long. When husbands meet weak husbands, most of them die young.
We have several families here. Because women are too strong, their mouths are worthless, and they think too much about their wives for their children, which leads to the divorce of their sons and daughters-in-law, and they can never marry their daughters-in-law.
(3) Desire to be treated fairly.
Most housewives in China are hardworking, kind and hardworking. It is really not easy for them to have children and do housework for decades. They need the reasonable position of the family and the sincerity of their husbands. But some men think that they can earn money because he supports his wife, children and family, and his wife's contribution is insignificant, and even accuses her of various mistakes. Women feel wronged, naturally disgusted and want to express their demands. Therefore, it is equally important and hard to tell what you have done in front of your husband and emphasize these seemingly insignificant little jobs, especially the difficulty of pulling children.
In my opinion, it is normal to cause women's psychology and performance, and it can also be said that it is caused by male misconduct. If men praised their wives more and shared more housework at home, this would not happen.
In a word, every member of a family is equally important. Only by respecting each other and living in harmony can we enjoy a happy life together and ensure the healthy growth of our children.
Women talk about how much they have paid for this family every day. What psychology?
Let me tell a story first, a friend's story. Five years ago, she chose to get married and married a second married man. In recent years, she has been talking about what she gave up and how much she paid for this family, just like a Xianglin sister-in-law.
But now she has completely changed. She is not the same as before. Instead, I am full of energy every day, work hard, devote more energy to improving myself and make money through work.
Why is this happening?
When she was in love, she thought everything was fine, and then she got married in an instant, feeling that life was beautiful and the reality was cruel.
My husband has changed, and so have my parents-in-law.
At that time, relatives and friends around her advised her not to get married in a hurry, and she didn't understand, but she went her own way and backfired. Of course, the inner gap is too big, and she is also uncomfortable, so she often talks about it, hoping that the other party will feel guilty and attract attention.
At the same time, I can feel more at ease, and I will be wronged, but I still pay for my family and them. I'm fine.
Many times, after marriage, as a woman, she pays a lot and takes care of her family wholeheartedly, but many husbands and mother-in-law take it for granted and don't care about her efforts at all.
If the woman's efforts are not recognized and the attention of the other party is not taken seriously, she will feel very uncomfortable inside. If she is uncomfortable inside, she needs an emotional outlet. What should I do?
I will nag about my efforts and my hard work every day. In fact, I still hope that my husband can know his hard work, know how to care about himself, and long for recognition.
For example, if you praise her every day and say that her cooking is appetizing and you like it very much, and that she has worked hard and paid a lot for this family, I believe she won't talk about it every day.
Because you saw her, saw her efforts and efforts, she knew that she didn't pay for nothing, and of course she wouldn't talk about it every day.
After all, if your wife talks about it all day, it must be your fault, so seeing her working hard and caring for her, you will receive a better home.
Many times after marriage, the woman seems to have the value of having children and doing housework, that is, paying for this family. She will think that she has no sense of value and feel that she has no value.
If you want the other person to take care of the family and the children wholeheartedly, then you should also let her know your value. Without her efforts, this family would not exist, and neither you nor the children would have a good life. Let her feel your dependence on her, so that her sense of value will be there.
If she has something she wants to do and has her own career, but she becomes a stay-at-home mother because of the pressure of necessity, then you can find ways to solve the problem and let her find the value of existence again, such as studying, such as finding hobbies.
If a person feels worthless, she will let others know her value. Although she doesn't recognize it in her heart, her contribution will be constantly emphasized. Otherwise, she will be prone to psychological problems such as depression.
So if your parents or your wife will talk about it every day and often nag, then you should pay attention, let her feel your recognition and respect, and let her know that your love is inseparable from her.
If your wife is in this state at present, you should find problems from yourself, or your wife will not become like this.
If you have other feelings and ideas, please communicate.
It feels like a man is asking this question! A woman says: 1 every day. This woman really pays a lot, but people around her turn a blind eye to her pay, enjoy everything she pays with peace of mind, and take it for granted. I think at the beginning, she was willing and enthusiastic, but gradually her heart would be unbalanced because she didn't get the response and recognition from others. Some women just need these, but they all want to have family to share them with, because this is what it is.
The way a family should get along. 2. There are also some women who are pure egoists. They just want what they don't want to pay. When they do a small thing, they have to talk about it. When you meet such people, you should seek more happiness. This is hard to change because of its nature. As a family member, you have to pay more.
Maybe I hope my family can pay attention to their efforts, get affirmation, respect and appreciation, and don't want to be ignored, or I am angry because I am too tired to get psychological comfort from my family, and vent my negative emotions in straightforward language. No matter what kind of mentality a woman holds, she should understand and think about whether she has neglected her efforts and only takes it for granted, not to mention complaining about her "talk". The family needs the common management and maintenance of every family member. Only by respecting each other's efforts and psychologically comforting and supporting each other can family life be more harmonious and happy.
How much do women pay for this family every day? What is their psychology?
There are two kinds of psychology:
One is really lazy, pretending to be poor and sympathetic.
If you don't really think of yourself as the master of this family, you have to undertake the big and small affairs of this family. Although you can't do so many things, you should also feel a psychological debt to your family, instead of counting how much you have paid. What's more, mahjong tables are built around the city every day, regardless of housework. When I came back, my family asked me what I did and why I didn't do it well. At this time, I will complain about how much I have paid for my family every day, and I will be scolded for not recognizing my debts and pretending to be wronged. Now everyone can't put down their mobile phones, watch videos online, chat and play cards. At first glance, time flies under people's noses, and unconsciously, it's another hour, four hours ... The day has passed like this, and they go back to work and eat, either not cooking or not delicious. Because they don't do it with heart, it will lead to scolding from their families, so they will say how much they have paid for their families every day.
The second is to arouse the family's positive aspirations and speak out.
I hope that my efforts can arouse the recognition of my family and make spontaneous efforts. Everyone consciously contributes to the prosperity of this family and speaks out. Many times, women get up early in the morning and get up after dark, but when they get home, they find that they are watching their mobile phones to play games and mahjong. The stove is cold and dark, and they are hungry for food, so they can only do it themselves. At this time, women will make a hullabaloo about, eager to wake up their families' lazy hearts and act quickly. * * * Make contributions to this family, improve the living environment and make the family prosperous.
In short, as a woman, how much should she pay for this family, because this family is the result of love between men and women, and it is necessary to work hard to make this result carry forward. If you care much, you will stay at home. A woman should take her own master and her own man as her own day. He can protect himself, or support his day, shelter himself from the wind and rain, and protect and discipline her children at the same time.
First of all, when you ask this question, you are very sympathetic to your mood at this time. You have really paid a lot for this family.
Maybe you didn't get the right recognition and treatment in this family, so it will lead to your current sense of gap.
If your husband is good enough for you, or agrees with you and understands you from the heart, I believe that your contribution will be worthwhile, because your husband and your home are all worth paying.
It is said that where there is pay, there is gain, so when you don't see the gain, you will often doubt yourself, so it is common to talk about it.
Find a time to find out what the problem is, the contradiction between husband and mother-in-law and so on. Anyway, solve the problem of husband and wife first. Husband and wife spend 10-20 minutes alone every day, chatting, hugging each other and increasing their feelings.
If you can't do it, let the husband and wife make progress together and constantly improve their studies, and they will all get better and better. I wish you happiness.
When a person keeps talking about her contribution to this family, she is actually in an unbalanced state. The reality may be that she pays more, or she sees that only she pays more, but she can't get a reciprocal return.
The hardships of life and lack of communication with her family may have gradually eroded her mind, whenever she opens her mouth, "How much have I done for this family!" ""Why are you all so lazy? " "Don't you understand my hard work? "
In fact, she is sending distress signals to people around her: "I am so sad" and "Help me, I am not doing well"
Many people can't express it. When she drags her tired body to do housework and watches the fruits of her labor being ruined, she will unconsciously feel a sense of irritability. While swearing, she is also hurting her body.
"Look at people * * *, now they all buy a house and a car." "My best friend is doing nothing at home now, but goes to the beauty salon every day."
Even said, "Tik Tok people say that it is not easy for women to live in this life."
It is easy for a woman to give up her original career because of family factors, which leads her to only pay attention to the people around her and Tik Tok's brainwashing platform. Seeing everyone's colorful life, she naturally felt unbalanced and complained a lot over time.
Due to the time and hard work when she was young, her body is getting worse every day, and her face and figure are not as perfect as before.
Even her character is not like the shy girl when you first met, but has been polished into a complaining aunt by years.
Maybe many nights, she can't sleep with her eyes open. She regretted getting angry with her family during the day. She lost her youth, and she was worried and tossed and turned.
Life is not hard every day, and it is not easy for her to walk step by step. And the hormonal changes in her body make her sensitive and irritable.
People often say, "but not as those who are poor together know." Actually, it's not. How many girls are willing to suffer with you before they resolutely leave their parents' arms and shoulder the burden of life with you. When you find that your wife has changed, you must talk to her more, instead of avoiding her completely. How long has it been since you talked to your wife alone?
Hello, thank you for your initiative. What is the psychology of a woman who says how much she has paid for this family every day? It can be seen from your active questioning that you want to explore what is the demand behind this behavior and why you pay attention to this kind of thing that you may think is common every day. I can feel your incomprehension and concern about this problem, so let's discuss it together:
First, it is related to the characteristics of the age stage. Generally speaking, people's needs for life are different at each stage, and their expectations for the outside world are getting higher and higher because of their age. The main reason is that they are afraid that they will no longer be young and lose the appeal of youth, so they will have a sense of crisis and a sense of security will be reduced. They will get their inner needs from various places in their lives where they feel superior. For example, they talk about their contribution to their families every day, but in fact, she just needs to be seen and recognized.
Second, it is related to inner security. Everyone's anxiety at similar ages is different because of their different inner security. People with low internal energy generally don't have a good sense of security when they are young. Once they encounter problems, they may awaken the scars of childhood trauma, that is, insecurity, and cause some sense of security to gain sex. For example, they talk about their contribution to the family every day, but in fact, she just needs to be seen and recognized.
Third, it is related to self-worth. There is a situation: people with low self-worth are prone to be swayed by considerations of gain and loss, do not believe that their efforts are valuable, but always feel that they are powerless, and then there will be repeated emphasis on some things in their behavior to convince themselves. The second situation: a person with low sense of self-worth will highlight his value with his own special advantages and gain self-confidence when others can't refute it. For example, she talks about her contribution to her family every day, but in fact she just needs to be seen and recognized.
Fourth, it has something to do with the present family form. The family structure caused her to be trapped in housework. Moral restrictions make things difficult for her, and there will be a gap in her heart. If her family fails to give her proper space and recognition, she always takes everything for granted, which will make her feel disappointed and angry. Because she feels that what she has paid with her career and pursuit has not been seen and is not worth it. For example, she talks about her contribution to her family every day, but in fact she just needs to be seen and recognized.
Fifth, it has something to do with self-orientation. In many cases, the restrictions are given to ourselves. We should distinguish between ourselves and the expectations of others. We can't actively realize our present situation. People who make their own decisions attribute it to others. Self-orientation means that when you do something, you know that it is your choice, remember your initial heart, and be good at discovering the beauty of life, instead of indulging in internal and external conflicts. For example, she talks about her contribution to her family every day, but in fact she just needs to be seen and recognized.
Generally speaking, people with strong inner feelings and self-confidence never pin their identity on others, but will actively explore their own inner self and help them adjust their psychological pressure at different stages, thus discovering the dark light of difficulties. As relatives around us, we need to see the needs behind her behavior, so as to help her see herself, find back the joy of life and actively explore the positive side of life.
Women are feng shui at home.
The above is my personal opinion. I hope it helps you. Thank you for watching.