A: Old women can, but old men can't!
As the saying goes, a son-in-law is half a son. But don't forget, this sentence means that a good son-in-law can obey half his own son. If you are an ordinary son-in-law, you can only use a quarter of his sons. If it's a narrow-minded son-in-law, I'm afraid even passers-by are inferior.
This is not the main reason why I said "old men can't" stay at my daughter's house. After all, the family business environment and henpecked atmosphere in contemporary China are much more serious than those in COVID-19. Even if the narrow-minded son-in-law has the heart, he doesn't have the courage.
The main reason why I say "old men can't" live in their daughters' homes is three simple words: inconvenient.
Especially in summer, bathing and dressing, especially when there are girls in my daughter's house, many ordinary trivial things are embarrassing and have ulterior secrets.
Although the old man is the father of the girl, he is not the father of the son-in-law. In the son-in-law's mind, there is not much difference between the old man at home and the bad old man who makes trouble on the street.
My mother-in-law lived with us all the time when she was alive. In summer, my wife bathes her every day. If I have to bathe my father-in-law every day, I won't let him take off several layers of skin!
Therefore, when the old couple are alive, they have to do it themselves. If the old man goes down first, the old lady can live with her daughter, not her son. The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is not much better than that between traffic police and illegal passers-by.
If the old lady goes down first, the old man can consider living with his son, never with his daughter, either by himself or in a nursing home. Prostitutes stay at home in the spring and autumn 10 days and a half, "staying at prostitutes' home all the time" is definitely not acceptable.
Has the old man always lived in his daughter's house?
Mainly depends on the elderly:
First, whether there are sons and daughters, if there are sons, if the son is the center, you should give priority to living in the son's home, because this is the inheritance of thousands of years of history. You can usually go to your daughter's house to visit relatives, but remember not to "live in an old house." If you want to leave enough free space for each other, you should not only stay a little longer, but also observe your words and deeds, have it both ways, and keep your self-esteem. Even if the daughter and son-in-law are sincere, we should pay attention to the distance and try our best to create intimacy, freshness, missing and distance beauty.
Second, whether children are treated equally and whether love is just and fair. If you prefer boys to girls in parenting, education, economic distribution, inheritance, etc., please don't go to your daughter's house to ask for it.
The third is whether you set an example for your children. Children are often subtle, and they will follow suit if you are filial to your parents, and they will follow suit if you are filial to your in-laws. On the other hand, if you don't do well, they will see it in their eyes and keep it in their hearts, and they will learn from it later. As the saying goes, "As you sow, you reap."
Fourth, if you are an only child, early parenting education is the most important. You should instill the concept of respecting the elderly and loving the young from an early age, so that your daughter can firmly establish a sense of responsibility to support the elderly. Before the daughter gets married, she should seriously ask the future son-in-law the question of supporting the elderly, be open and clear. Give each other a chance to think and choose, and at the same time seek a reliable answer for their future life. Many families often ignore this rule when choosing husbands, which leads to fatal mistakes and is rejected when they are old. There is no support for the elderly in a country without them.
Fifth, it is said that the son-in-law is half a son. The old man must first treat his son-in-law as a son, and when he is a son, his heart will be full of meat. Your heart is selflessly concerned about your son-in-law's yesterday and today. He will be grateful, treat you as his biological parents, be filial, and manage and protect your tomorrow.
When an old man is old, the best choice is to be an only child, and not to live in a son's house or a daughter's house for a long time. Decline before you are old, and firmly grasp the "three old people";
Take good care of your wife and rely on each other;
Stick to the old house and shelter from the wind and rain;
Grab your old capital and be fearless in times of crisis.
If you have lost the ability to live independently and have to rely on your daughter to support you, you must learn:
Take a moment to see the problem vaguely with your eyes;
Deaf ears, rumors wear ears;
Sew your mouth a little, talk less and don't get into trouble;
Good temper, treat your family as guests;
Ask for less, muddle along and don't make trouble;
If you are diligent, help as much as you can;
Low tone, relying on the old to sell the old and disrespecting people;
With money, there is rotten meat in your own pot;
Have a good mood, laugh often, suitable for all ages.
In short, the elderly should learn to set an example before they get old, learn to look ahead and look back, learn to harvest in autumn and store in winter, learn to plan ahead and learn to keep pace with the times.
I don't know if the above answer is to your taste, I hope to accept it.
It's nothing. I don't want to go to my children's house.
I have 1 child and 2 daughters. Unlike the one-child family, I live in my daughter's house when I am old. I have my own house, and I don't want to talk about it, and I don't want to talk about the size. It's my own nest.
My wife has lived in my children's house, and I haven't lived 1 time. In 2007, my wife caught a cold, and my eldest daughter took it home for about a week, so I had an intravenous drip nearby. 15 years, my son went to work in other places for a few days and didn't come back at night. My daughter-in-law dare not let his wife stay for 2 nights.
I won't go when the children's home is good. My son lived in the house sold to me by the company and lived together for 12 years. Later when we moved out, it was 12. 12 years, 1 year, I have been there no more than 10 times. Sometimes I call for dinner, but I don't want to. Sometimes send a dish or something. The eldest daughter didn't go to work at home a few years ago. She beat weak alkaline water for free at the physiotherapy shop and delivered it in a small bucket. In the past two years, I have worked in the construction site of Yunnan's eldest son-in-law, and no one at home has been there. In July of this year, my eldest daughter came back, delivered food, left at the door and said a few words, let me sit down and chat for a while, and I said, "Nothing to go home." Little girl's home 1 year gone 1 time. At the beginning of these years, the two families came together. Because my house is small, my wife has to be busy and change a place to accompany her little daughter for the New Year. Usually I have something for my little daughter, so I go to the shopping mall where she works by car without going home.
When I said this, I felt that the children's home was not my home, but my home will always be the children's home.
Going to Children's Home is uncomfortable, uncomfortable and not free. I went, and they treated me as a "guest". I really can't stand it. Don't leave early before midnight, stay for a while after dinner and leave. Or send something, stay and say a few words and come back.
In your own home, standing and lying are very casual, unconstrained and have a sense of ownership. Going to a child's house will be regarded as an "outsider."
I am 77 years old. I discussed with my wife that I can't move and I won't live with the children. Even if there is no one left, he will not go to live with the children. Don't expect your children to provide for the elderly, and don't expect their children to serve. You can't take care of yourself. Choose a suitable medical center and spend the rest of your life.
Can an old man live in his daughter's house? It depends. If he has a son, of course, the first choice is to live in his son's house. China people have the idea of providing for the aged by their sons in their bones. Some old people use their daughters to protect their sons. What she does is useless. Seeing her son's heartfelt joy, she said that she was not patriarchal, but she acted sincerely. A friend in front said that it is unwise for many old people to do so now, which has added many contradictions to their children and caused discord between brothers and sisters. There is an old man in our hometown. Her two sons and daughters got married separately. The old man takes turns living in the house of his two sons. It's the youngest son's house. Her daughter-in-law is so powerful that she dare not cook at her house. Every time she goes to the grocery store to buy some ready-made food. For many years, our hometown burned kang in winter, and she dared not make a fire. The daughter-in-law scolded and beat, but it was the youngest son's house and the daughter couldn't take it away. Finally, without a daughter, the elderly will suffer more. With a daughter, they are as soft-hearted and filial.
There is a colleague in my unit. Her father's mother died when she was in her seventies, and her father has lived with her ever since. Now her father is 83 years old and still lives in her house. In fact, she has three younger brothers with better economic conditions than her, but her father doesn't want to live in any of his sons' houses, but only in her house. Although the father has a pension and gives her two thousand yuan a month for living expenses, the son-in-law is a little unhappy because he has a son who lives in his daughter's house for a long time. In particular, the third brother can't be a man, has a father's pension and doesn't eat his sister. Occasionally, they will never buy gifts for their brother-in-law, which makes it difficult for their sisters to be human. My colleague can't help it My father didn't want to leave, so she couldn't get rid of him.
Both sons and daughters can die for the elderly, at least they should have a grateful and filial heart. As the saying goes, filial piety to the elderly, "do not accumulate wealth, but also accumulate children", which is also a virtue.
My grandmother spent the last few years of her life in my house, and of course she died in my house. Whenever someone mentions this, we feel that it is our greatest honor to spend those years with grandma.
Grandma has four daughters and a son. Because her son lives in other places, she lives in her daughter's house in turn for most of her life, carrying two wooden boxes with her, which contain all her belongings. Now think about it, how helpless and pitiful the old people are, and they have no sense of belonging anywhere.
There is a good lyric: it is said that raising children to prevent old age, but the mountains and waters are long and far from home. Although my uncle will come back several times a year to visit my grandmother and give her money, the mother-child reunion in those days is short-lived, and the tears of the old man are dancing, which brings her long thoughts.
Grandma was very old at that time, and those colorful bills were no longer attractive to her. How she wishes to enjoy family happiness with her children and grandchildren! My sister understood my uncle's difficulty and said that the conditions were not allowed. In my opinion, it is also my uncle who is not filial enough to support the elderly.
Later, grandma was too old to live from house to house, and she basically lived in my house for the last ten years. My mother is very filial. Although she is busy outside and at home every day, she is considerate to my grandmother. It's a pity that I didn't share the task of taking care of my grandmother for my mother at that time, and I regret it.
Grandma finally died of natural causes. She is over ninety years old and can take care of herself. In the last week or so, I began to feel unconscious and sleepy. At that time, her mother said to her, "Your son is back" and hoped that she would stick to it. This news, if it was before, grandma would be particularly excited. But this time, she closed her eyes and replied, "Oh, what's the use!"
Grandma died one afternoon in late autumn, so the funeral was naturally arranged in my house. At that time, many people came, all with the goodwill of their parents. After all, my uncle is not in his hometown and has little contact with the villagers. My aunt cried in front of grandma's coffin. At that moment, she did her duty as a daughter-in-law. However, just like grandma's last words: What's the use? ...
After grandma left, the most painful thing was her mother. My voice is hoarse for a long time, and I often sit in the house where my grandmother lives and cry. She felt that she had not provided her with enough services. In fact, the more I accompany the relatives of the elderly, the more I miss her, and I feel that my house is empty and my heart is empty.
The filial piety of parents also won the respect of villagers. Whether it is a son or a daughter, as long as they have done their filial piety, they have a clear conscience.
If you have good thoughts, God will bless you!
This problem varies from person to person, and special circumstances are another matter!
Before the 1970s, most elderly people had four or five children, both boys and girls. Generally speaking, the son is responsible for providing for the aged and handles the funeral after his death!
Since the 1980s, due to the changes in China's population policy, family planning has been implemented throughout the country, encouraging a couple to have only one child! Both husband and wife are from agricultural registered permanent residence and can have two children, while boys and girls in urban hukou are only allowed to have one child. What if the old man who gave birth to a girl is too old to take care of himself? There is no doubt that there must be an only daughter to take on the life of the elderly. It is normal for the elderly to live in their daughter's house for a long time, but they must be sent back to their hometown before they die. There is a custom of "returning leaves to their roots" everywhere ...!
Under normal circumstances, the aftermath of the death of the elderly should be buried in the original residence of the elderly. If the old man has no place to bury, the daughter should be responsible for burying him in the collective cemetery. Under normal circumstances, he won't be buried on his daughter's side!
If there are children and girls, it is best not to stay at the daughter's house all the time, but at the son's house all the time.
I have a mistress who has been living in my daughter's house. One day, I told my daughter that I wanted to go back to my son's house. Aunt sent her back to her son's house and died the next day. If you have a son in the countryside, but he dies in his daughter's house, his son will be scolded and will never lift his head. Therefore, the elderly who feel that they are dying in their daughter's house will return to their son's house and leave the reputation of filial piety to his son to be a good person.
Now they are all only children. If there is only one daughter, there is no choice but to stay at her home.
It depends on the daughter's financial situation. Today's social economy determines everything. If the daughter is rich, the old man can spend his old age in her home. If his daughter has no money, he might as well live in a nursing home.
As long as the elderly are willing, children with filial piety can live to be a hundred years later! I still live with my parents every day I'm almost 50 years old. My parents are 7 1 year old. My parents are only children. I want to live with them. I can take care of them conveniently. I used to live with my in-laws, so I can take care of them conveniently. I lived with my parents after they died one after another! I am willing to let the old people live with us. First, they are old and need someone to take care of them. Second, if there are old people in the family, they can still take care of the family. Holidays are still lively. Most of our generation are only children, and both parents need us.