1. The most beautiful words are not 'I love you' but 'You have lost weight'.
2. From now on, you are not mine, and I am not yours.
3. Money is not the problem, the problem is lack of money!
4. There should be a few more days off on Teacher's Day so that teachers can have more rest.
5. Let me tell you a ghost story about the beginning of school - a funny story
6. If you dare, jump down from here. If you miss, you can pick me up below. ...(Russian fear)
7. Being liked by a fool is always showing off
8. I hope you die of a broken heart many years later because you are thinking of me@
9. Will you still love me when I am old and yellow? @Will you still marry me when all my teeth fall out?
10. Fortunately, I am a fat man, so I can squeeze my belly when I am bored.
11. I am learning sacred knowledge, but you actually use scores to measure it. This is simply a stain on academics! vulgar!
12. You never know how handsome you will be in the future, don’t give up on yourself
13. Fans, where are you hiding? I had a hard time looking for you.
14. We always like to verify the promises made by others to us, but rarely verify the promises we make to ourselves.
15. Hey, do you dare to be my son’s father? Do you dare to be my son’s mother?
16. Although you are sprayed with cologne, I You can still smell the smell of scum - A complete collection of funny quotes in space
17. In fact, the person who cares about you the most is always the one who loves to hit you the most.
18. The departure of the stool is the lack of retention of the butt or the pursuit of the toilet. ,
19. There is always such a kind of person, which we call "well" - both horizontally and vertically.
20. My heart is not a 24-hour business hall, and I am not welcome at any time
21. If my test scores can rise as fast as housing prices, then this How lovely the world must be
22. When I get married, we will get a pair of rings tattooed, and whoever files for divorce first will have his fingers chopped off.
23. If you want to ruin a song, set it as an alarm clock
24. When I call you a coward, I am insulting you. How can this turtle come out to meet people in the future?
25. The Leaning Tower of Pisa is tilted because it has not drunk pulse - Funny Talk 2015
26. I have two dreams in my life: one, to always dream, and two, never wake up.
27. You have no right to dislike my lifestyle, but you have the right to blind yourself
28. Women always like to ask men: "What if I Who are you to fall into the water at the same time as your mother?" At this time, you answer: "Your father and I are both drunk, who will you help?
29. I am such a good girl. I don’t even like it, young man, maybe you like men
Thirty. What you can’t get is always the best, and the one beside you is the one you love most*
Thirty-one , We must drive the non-mainstream out of China
32. The best state of love is when you throw down a pile of money and say to me before going out every day: "Flower!" If you don't spend enough money today, it means you don't love me! "
Thirty-three. Look at us women, we are sexy even when we comb our hair, and we are also sexy when we wear skirts. You men only have one sexy way, and that is to wash the dishes!
Three 14. You are a student who is not afraid of changes. Even if you have a late holiday and have to take a make-up exam if you fail, remember, the angel is with you and you are beautiful to begin with.
3. 15. Behind every successful man, there is a woman who is full and has nothing to do.
36. I went to a foreign company for an interview, and the other party asked me to read an English manuscript. After all, I was also a graduate of a key university, and I read out every letter easily. The other party was shocked. After that, he kicked me out. I understood that it was jealousy!
Thirty-seven. When a gun pierces your heart, all truth is over.
Thirty-eight. I am the kind of person who is betrayed and doesn’t even shed tears.
Thirty-nine. I just admire those girls who don’t like to talk to me but treat me well. Wife stalks all kinds of real men
40. Why should I give you face if I don’t want to give you face?
41. Stories I can tell There are many, ranging from suitable for all ages to not suitable for children!
42. Many things are achieved by eating enough, such as losing weight.
43. A woman will never forget the man who conquered her physically or mentally.
44. Idiot, I want to fool around with you any day. Idiot, I want to giggle with you any day.
45. What I want is the kind of domineering bitch who can’t be driven away and likes to cling to me.
46. I’m not jealous of what you have, but you have what I have. Don't be envious
47. I once turned a person's space upside down.
48. The purpose of chatting: to turn netizens into friends, friends into lovers, lovers into wives, wives into strangers...
49. I am who I am. Fireworks with different colors are about 50 cents more expensive than others.
50. Always keep a low profile in front of a SB who doesn’t understand life~
51. Never learn about the person you love from other people’s mouths. How do you feel about yourself? You know whether you love it or not.
Fifty-two. Although the message I sent has forty-two words, I want to say that the most important thing is the first, nineteenth, and twenty-seventh words you are reading now
Fifty-three, "Children, are you having a happy summer vacation?" "Only fast! No fun!" 2021 funny things to say
1. It's useless to squeeze people on the same road< /p>
2. Someone actually said that I wore eye shadow, which was an insult to my dark circles.
3. God gave me the stomach of a foodie but not the status of a rich man.
4. The three sentences that moved me the most: I will bring you delicious food, I will treat you to delicious food, and I will take you to eat delicious food.
5. A friend told me that she would come to see me again when she loses weight. I felt nervous after hearing this. This is probably the most tactful farewell.
6. For such high-level matters as weight loss, we should wait until we are full before we study it carefully.
7. The black and white style can bring out my temperament.
8. Hold your head high and brag, and take a deep breath.
9. Every woman who has failed to lose weight for a long time has a best friend who has been unable to gain weight for many years.
10. Once upon a time, there was a fat man. He heard that yoga can help lose weight. God paid off. Two months later, he became a soft fat man.
11. My ex-boyfriend sent me a text message late at night: How are you doing? My witty reply was: Sorry, she fell asleep.
12. Only bow your head when lighting a cigarette, and only be gentle to those you love.
13. Don’t always criticize others, first find out who you are.
14. God is watching what people do, and it is up to you to manage what labor and management do.
15. Searching for him through the crowd, I suddenly looked back and saw that the man was at the canteen at the door.
16. I want to live my life well, regardless of whether the sky is dim or the earth is dark, and the sun rises and sets.
Seventeen, I have been looking for a girl like you in my whole life.
18. Being fat is not a sin, it’s just that God is jealous that you will be too perfect if you lose weight.
19. After reviewing, I chose a Xinjiang name. From tomorrow onwards, everyone can call me Zhebuhui, Nayebuhui and Quanbuhui.
20. Mathematics is actually very simple but only 90 points is difficult.
21. My youth is not so gorgeous, it’s just very luxurious.
22. I know why I have been unable to lose weight, because I have you inside my body.
23. Someone asked: How big is your school? I answered: The aunt who sells spicy hotpot in the west gate of our school rejected the pursuit of the rice noodle seller in the east gate because she doesn’t like long-distance relationships.
24. The three most popular diseases at the moment: procrastination, obsessive-compulsive disorder, and difficulty in choosing. To put it bluntly, they are lazy, cheap, and poor.
25. For things like losing weight, fat people are shouting and thin people are doing it.
26. I suddenly understood what "saying important things three times" means, roughly speaking, say it once on Weibo, once on Space, and again on Moments.
27. The reason why I am fat is because I keep many things in mind and cannot lose weight.
28. When I love you, you feel cute even when you eat shit. When I don’t love you, you feel like you are eating shit when I eat.
Twenty-nine, I hope that all the money in my wallet will fall in love with each other, and then have many, many children ~
Thirty, I can’t afford the so-called eternity, and I can’t wait for the so-called eternity. . Funny Talk 2021
1. The only reason why I am fat is that my body is too small to accommodate my full personality.
2. Last night there was a loud crack and a bolt of lightning flew past. I thought I had traveled through time. There was a power outage!
3. Ultraman is the richest man in the world because the automatic teller machine says ATM.
4. Once I fell in love, I shed a tear, and then there was the Pacific Ocean.
5. I want to earn a lot of money for my father, and then I will become a rich second generation
6. I hold you in my hands and close my palms. I can’t hold it in. you!
7. I want to improve my life. I don’t want to eat noodles, I want to eat instant noodles.
8. The light lengthened my figure and slowly disappeared. It turned out that I was invisible.
9. Do you think I will watch you die? I will close my eyes
10. I thought I was decadent, but today I found out that I was already scrapped
11. We should remain silent when listening to sermons in church , it is very impolite to disturb others’ sleep
12. I drink to drown the pain, but this damn pain has learned to swim
13. If you see what’s in front of you Don't be afraid of shadows, it's because there is sunshine behind you
14. I am a little bird. I want to fly but I can't fly high. Huh? It turns out that there is no hair
15. It takes thousands of years to change from a monkey to a human, and it only takes a bottle of wine to change from a human to a monkey
16. When you can’t read anymore, I took out the mirror and said silently: I have grown up like this and still don’t study well.
17. Just because I looked at you one more time in the crowd, I became blind later.
18. Donor, I am here to beg for alms. Could you please give me some fried chicken legs + Coke, or grilled chicken wings + orange juice?
19. I have insomnia every night. If I fall asleep one night, it must be abnormal, or I will die.
20. You have to believe, believe that we will be like the fairy tale, with frogs and dinosaurs ending.
21. I skipped too many classes. I wanted to go to class yesterday. When I saw the teacher, the teacher was surprised and said, "I haven't seen you for such a long time. How long...
22. God, I will never go to class again. I won’t call you grandpa anymore. You don't love me as your granddaughter at all.
23. Zhuge Liang had never led an army before he left the mountain. Why do you expect me to have work experience?
24. I dreamed of Po Meng last night, so I said to her: Po Meng brought me a bowl of vinegar, my stomach has been bad recently!
25. When you were born, you cried and they all laughed; when you left, you smiled and they all cried.
26. Naughty people’s hair turns gray very quickly, so I have black hair.
27. Don’t mess with my sister, she has a secret weapon: I’ll slap you to death. I'll slap you to death with two slaps, I'll kill you with three slaps
28. If cutting off your hair means cutting off memories, then can I lose my memory if I cut my head bald?
29. This book I wanted the paper airplane to take me to fly into your heart, but unexpectedly it crashed halfway
30. I bought an egg, but accidentally broke it. I knew that this egg and I were destined to be together.
31. It turns out that our biggest love rival is not the mistress. It's the years.
32. Why do I always have tears in my eyes? It’s because I ordered eye drops
33. I shook my head coolly after we broke up, but the wig fell out.
34. Even if women are like clothes, sister’s golden pants are not something you can afford to wear.
35. When I have money, I will buy 100 million bicycles and make a fortune. Give one to each person in China. Should I take the bus myself?
36. There are too many germs in the outside world. I am afraid that I will be infected as soon as I go out.
37. Whoever treats me badly, I will write their phone number on the wall. , and write at the back: Marriage, no restrictions, both men and women are welcome
38. Guests, please respect yourself, the little girl only sells herself but not her art
39. The garden is full of spring scenery and cannot be contained. I pulled Hongxing out of the wall. QQ personalized signature
40. Every day I constantly refresh a world record, the number of days I have lived in the world
41. It is said that the only animal in the world that can maintain eternal love It's a hedgehog - because hedgehogs can never get too close
42. I put the TV remote control on my waist and pretended to have bought a new mobile phone
43. Money is not All-purpose, sometimes a credit card is needed
44. Those who are rich can help make money, and those who have no money can go home and withdraw some money to help make money.
45. Picking up girls is like hanging out on QQ. If you spend two hours with her every day, you will be like the sun in no time.
46. When taking the bus in the afternoon, take out the bus card and bang it into the coin hole
47. I will not bend down when money falls from the sky, because there is not even pie in the sky. Drop it, let alone drop the banknotes
48. You are the worry in my heart, which always makes me thrilling.
49. If one day I become a pervert, please don’t forget that I was also innocent.
50. Others are pretending to be serious, so I have to pretend not to be serious. Collection of Funny Talks 2021
1. The difference between humans and pigs is that pigs are always pigs, while humans are sometimes not humans!
2. I want to be strong. God put me on earth just to be the boss.
3. At night when there are no orangutans, I use monkeys to attract you.
4. Loving one person is difficult, loving two people is fun, and loving three people is fun.
5. Sometimes it is more difficult to get through a person's phone than to get through Rendu's second pulse
6. After playing QQ Speed ??for a long time, I feel like drifting while riding a bicycle!
7. First bow to the heaven and earth, second to the high hall, and bow to each other by yourself, then go to the examination room...
8. You are handsome but you can’t go to the bank to swipe your credit card.
9. The hearts of labor and management are also made of meat. Do you think it is stainless steel and waterproof?
10. I heard that it was 35°C on Chinese Valentine's Day. It was so hot that you two were paired together.
11. You said your brother is Conan, is your name Ke Chen? (啕碜)...
12. Genetics calmly tells us: cross-species love is destined to be bad. As a result.
13. When you laugh, you cry, when you cry, you laugh...
14. Please do not insert TV dramas during commercials.
15. Every summer when I get tanned, I always think, "It's okay, I'll fix it in the winter."
16. Sometimes I really think that kissing can lead to pregnancy.
17. Book me two tickets to heaven. I will personally find Yue Lao and force him to lead me a red line.
18. When I grow up, I will open a school for couples. For couples, the entrance exams will be halved and all exams will be waived.
19. It is virtue for a woman to have no talent. I think I am too wicked.
20. I am from Earth, so don’t give me those Martian words.
21. If I can forgive your vulgarity, can you tolerate my pretense?
22. If love lasts for a long time, how long will it take to get married?
23. Mr. Summer Vacation, please don’t leave me. Can we start over? I love you so much and hate Mr. Start of School! !
24. Since my summer vacation came, my morning has never come back.
25. I feel unhappy when I review. I stop reviewing when I feel unhappy. I feel happy when I don’t review. Once I am happy, the day passes﹌
26. See You, I consciously assumed the posture of Ultraman.
27. Don’t be afraid of Touer bringing tools, just be afraid that Touer understands technology!
28. How many lovers have been created by reading, and how many marriages have been destroyed by teachers.
29. I will never dance again! ...because I removed the spaces!
30. Whenever an adult praises me for being quiet, I want to open my mouth and laugh: You ignorant humans
31. There is a piece of bread, and my stomach is full when I walk. I was hungry, so I ate myself.
32. If you are unhappy and sleep for a while, let him go. It’s okay to be sad, but it’s not okay to hurt your stomach.
33. When I was a child, my mother often gave me a kind of foreign coffee. When I grew up, I realized that it was isatis root.
34. I can’t find you on Baidu, so I have to go to Sogou!
35. Don’t be obsessed with me, because I am just a legend. Don't be obsessed with me, she will make you vomit blood after taking off your makeup.
36. After breaking up, I don’t ask for anything. I just hope that every woman you have in the future will be better than the other one...
37. Don’t show off to your brother, there is a caller ID on your sister-in-law’s side!
38. I leave my name when I do good things, but I run away when I do bad things.
39. When people are born, they are inherently good. If they don’t do their homework, they will be a hero. The teacher checked what to do, picked up the broom and fucked with him.
40. Help when there are difficulties, and help even when there are no difficulties.
41. If you can't tolerate me, it means either you are too narrow-minded or my personality is too great.
42. Lovers will eventually get married, but lovers will suffer from heat stroke in summer.
43. The sudden rain cannot wet the duck's wings; the strong wind cannot blow out the light of the fireflies.
44. Have you been single for a long time? Recently, when you see a sow, you feel that it has a pretty face.
45. Let me tell you a ghost story: School is about to start.
46. Rain God, Rain God, come to my house and give us a heavy rain
47. I originally planned to be a lady, but life forced me to become a shrew.
48. In the winter without you holding hands, I still live a wonderful life with a hot water bottle
49. Blind date is to show the feng shui of the grave, confession is to dig one's own grave, marriage is partiality, mistress It is tomb robbing, and divorce is tomb relocation.
50. It is obviously stupid, but it cannot be said that it is reverse thinking.
51. We are not afraid of teachers, we are just afraid of teachers calling parents.
52. Saying goodbye makes my stomach hurt.
53. When others praise me, I worry that the praise is not good enough.
54. You are a genius and I am a talent, but you are just one step ahead of me.
55. If you are sick, treat your illness. Don’t come to me. I am not a veterinarian.
56. There are fewer people crossing the road with grandma on their arms, but more people crossing the road with their mistresses on their arms.
57. Holding a kitchen knife in hand to chop wires, sparks and lightning along the way
58. There are many tortoises in the shallow water, but there are big brothers everywhere