I just watched a very sad video. My daughter was lying on the sofa trying to sleep, but her mother asked her to explain who she was playing with when she came back so late. My daughter doesn't want to talk about it. My mother was so angry that she hit her with a pillow and said, "get out!" "
The daughter really opened the door and left, but her father told her to take everything away and throw it away, and shouted, "Cut off all relations with me!" " The daughter shouted angrily, "Why? "
There was a terrible quarrel among the three of us, and my mother continued to add fuel to the fire and said, "Go to hell!" " "The daughter immediately replied," Well, I will die! Why did you give birth to me? Dead, clean! "
My daughter's mood has collapsed to the extreme. Instead of calming down, her parents continued to stimulate her with words. Later, their parents hit their daughter in the mouth, and my father shouted, "I was wrong, I was right!" "
Dad even said that if I had known you were so disappointing, I would have strangled you when I was born! Every word hurt my daughter's heart, and the collapsed daughter really ran out and jumped into the river.
Later, the father immediately pulled his daughter up, but the physical, especially psychological, damage caused by parents to her daughter will be difficult to heal for a while.
Even if the child does something wrong, why can't parents talk well and stimulate them with such extreme words as cursing the child to death and saying that they regret having a child?
You should know that every word parents say, children will take it seriously. They won't think that their parents are satirizing him or really don't like him, which is likely to lead to tragedy.
Guinot, a doctor of psychology, said in Give Me Your Hand, Child that words are like knives, which will bring pain, even if it is not physical pain, it will leave many painful scars emotionally.
Parents used to be children's favorite people, but they stabbed their children with words that hurt them the most, which really made them hate the world and their parents, making their growth more difficult.
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Parents don't talk well, and the consequences are very serious.
In the recently broadcasted Little Joy, the mother of the naughty boy space bound recovery fan scolded her son mercilessly. Her son made a mistake at school, and she was invited by the teacher to criticize and educate him at school.
I was so angry that I complained to my husband: "He is not my son, he is my ancestor. I'll burn incense for him early tomorrow! " Aside Fang Yifan face immediately became very lonely.
No child wants to be scolded by his parents like this. It is no wonder that space bound recovery has been at the bottom, and there is no improvement, which has a lot to do with children's way of speaking.
If parents keep talking to their children like this, it may cause more serious consequences. The blogger "Still a bowl of instant noodles" tells the story of an old artist, which is particularly alarming.
The old artist is very strict with his only daughter. Later, my daughter read a doctorate in Ivy League. She went to America to see her daughter. I wonder why she accused her daughter of coming again.
The daughter asked her, "Can I never satisfy you?" She replied, "Do you think you did a good job?" Hearing this, the daughter turned over and jumped off the balcony.
Susan. In "The House of Origin", Qian said that insulting names, derogatory comments and contemptuous accusations will send very bad self-evaluation information to children and have a huge negative impact on their future happiness.
Many parents think that their way of speaking is to let their children know how to make progress and how to work hard. In fact, the effect is counterproductive, which will only make children more suspicious and deny themselves, and it is easier to break the jar.
Don't talk to children in an adult way. Parents don't talk well, which will hurt your children in the end.
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Different ways of speaking have different effects.
In Little Joy, a single mother is very demanding of her daughter Joe. In the placement test of senior three, Ruth got the second place.
However, Eiko, who has been number one all the year round, knew that her mother was not satisfied with this achievement, so she dared not say that she had won the second place in the exam when she went home, only telling her that she had entered the fast class.
Song Qian said unhappily, I know you won the second place this time. It doesn't matter. Qiao Yingzi quickly explained that the first place was taken away by Lin Leier, who had just transferred to another school.
However, when Song Qian saw the Lego toys given by her classmates in Eiko's schoolbag, Song Qian finally couldn't help it and said angrily, "What's so happy about?"
After a series of accusations, Song Qian directly confiscated the toys, which made Eiko feel even more stressed. Then she skipped class and went to her father Qiao Weidong's house to play.
It is precisely because of Song Qian's strong speaking style that Eiko was pushed to a position of being tired of learning, which led to her mid-term exam results falling directly to more than twenty. Eiko was about to collapse at that time, and I don't know what her mother would do to her.
However, when she got home, Song Qian's mood was always calm. Eiko volunteered that she didn't do well in the exam and cried, "I'm sorry, I was wrong." I will do well in the exam next time. "
Song's eyes are red. While wiping Ruth's tears, she analyzed the reasons for her poor test with Ruth. She also took the initiative to take responsibility and said, "Mom must be wrong. Mom shouldn't have hit you that day. "
This time, Song Qian didn't satirize Eiko. Instead, she encouraged Eiko to say that she had a good foundation in study and would work hard with her to catch up with her grades. She was moved to tears.
American psychologist Marshall? Luxembourg said that when language tends to ignore people's feelings and needs, thus alienating and hurting each other, it is difficult for people to feel the love in their hearts.
Parents and children speak in different ways, which will have completely different effects on their children. In fact, parents can have a good talk with their children, which is the best feng shui for their children to become talents.
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Parents should actively communicate with their children.
Psychologist William? James said that the deepest desire of human nature is to have the appreciation of others.
Parents need to respect their children's independent personality, talk to their children with a positive attitude in the process of communicating with them, and help them build strong self-confidence.
Try to say as little as possible, just to the point.
Li Meijin, a professor at Public Security University, said that before the age of 6, parents' words and nagging were all gold, and after 12, parents' words were rubbish.
Although this statement is straightforward, it is true. As children grow up, they dislike what their parents say more and more. If parents talk to their children blindly with accusations, the children will inevitably resist.
For example, Professor Li Meijin said that if a child makes a mistake at school, parents can say a few words about what to do, and then things will be over. Even if the child was silent at that time, he would ponder over his parents' words in his mind.
Parents must not talk repeatedly, let alone make personal attacks on their children. Parents talk less and tell their children everything, and children will be willing to listen.
Give priority to encouragement and seek truth from facts through criticism.
Dorothy, a child education expert? In the book What Children Learn from Life, Nott said that children who are encouraged to grow up are confident.
"As far as your performance is concerned, you are not worthy to mention shoes to others!" "Look at you, you waste. You will be a thief when you grow up! " Many children may have heard the most derogatory words from their parents since childhood.
If you translate these two sentences with words of encouragement, you should say:
"Your grades still have a lot of room for improvement. Mom believes that as long as you work hard enough, your grades will definitely catch up! "
"Hold your head high, you see how confident you are! Remember to stand like a clock and sit like a pine in the future, which is much more handsome than shrugging your shoulders and hanging your chest! "
Do you think children are more willing to listen to their parents? It must be the second kind, especially when criticizing children's poor work. It is far easier to hear encouragement than criticism.
Ask parents to talk to their children with sincere attitude, kind tone and positive words from today, and you will gain a better, more confident and more sunny child!