Let's talk about cowardice today. I have always believed that fathers should play more roles in cultivating children's "courage". What should be done to exercise children's courage?
1
What is the expression of cowardice?
There are many manifestations of children's timidity. Let's sit in the right place and see if your child has these timid performances.
1. Fear of the dark. This is manifested in fear of going to the toilet alone, turning off the lights to sleep, going out at night and so on.
2. Fear of bad people. Every time I watch cartoons with Han Han and see some villains, Han Han will nervously pull me and ask, is he a bad guy? Because of fear of bad guys, even if someone knocks at the door, children will be nervous.
3. Afraid of loud voices. For example, children get scared when it thunders.
4. Speak timidly in public, and speak quietly with strangers.
5. Unnatural and nervous in the new environment.
6. Be careful to participate in ball games and dare not have physical contact.
7. Cherish your body very much, and cry when you fall or get hurt.
2
Why are children timid?
There are many reasons why children are timid, many of which are related to parents' education methods. Dad Han summed up the following points.
1
Parents scare their children.
This is obvious in my family. Han Han was naughty in the back seat when I was driving. Just as a police car passed by, I scared him and said, "If you are naughty again, the police will take you away!" "
As a result, although he was honest at that time, he obviously had a shadow in his heart. For a long time, every time a police car passed by, he would nervously ask, "Dad, will the police arrest us?"
When making rules for their children, many parents occasionally use some threatening words, such as "You don't sleep well, the wolf is coming", "If you don't brush your teeth properly, the bugs will eat all your teeth" and "If you make trouble again, the bad guys will take you away". The direct consequence of this is that children will be timid and easily afraid.
Therefore, this daunting obedience of children is the incentive for children to become timid.
2
Life circle is too closed.
I have a friend who doesn't like taking children out for activities. As a result, when she finally met her baby at a party one day, she found that the children were afraid to meet strangers and didn't take the initiative to say hello. Even if I was forced to say hello by my parents, my voice was very low.
The friend said helplessly, "This child is timid!"
In fact, such timidity is entirely due to the closed social circle of children. Because of little contact with the outside world, children will subconsciously hide when they meet strangers and dare not communicate with others.
three
The elders have too many restrictions on their children.
Once I went to the children's play area of the park, I found a little boy ready to play with the monkey bars. My grandparents next to him kept saying, "Come down quickly, don't fall!" "
As a result, the little boy stood on the ladder and struggled for a long time, but did not climb it, because the inner fear instilled by the old man had overcome his courage.
Therefore, the elders give their children too much protection and restrictions, which is one of the main reasons for their timidity.
four
lack confidence
I have a friend whose daughter used to be cheerful, but since she went to school, her friends have always felt that her daughter is not enough, and even said that she is not as good as before. When I saw her daughter the other day, I found that the little girl looked like a different person. She didn't dare to ask her mother if she could do anything, and didn't dare to take action until she got her consent.
This is because the lack of self-confidence leads to cowardice of children.
five
Family disharmony
Once my mother and I had an unpleasant quarrel, which was very loud. As a result, Han Han was startled. He covered his ears in panic and looked at us helplessly.
Afterwards, he said that he was most afraid of our quarrel and would have nightmares at night. From that day on, we decided never to quarrel in front of the children again, and we would settle disputes privately.
Because family disharmony does great harm to children's minds, it is also one of the reasons that induce children's timidity.
three
How to exercise children's courage?
During my years in the United States, I found that American children are often more courageous and courageous than China children. For example, they are more adventurous, more willing to accept challenges, and less moody when encountering setbacks. I summed up the parenting style of foreigners, and there are some tips to cultivate children's courage!
1
The company of parents is brave.
Americans have a classic children's activity called Boy Scouts, which is to let children survive in the wild, thus cultivating their will and courage. However, to sign up for this activity, parents are required to accompany you from the beginning.
Because Americans believe that children's courage is inspired by their parents!
If the child is afraid, don't force TA at first, but accompany TA, and then let go slowly. Soon, the child's courage will be cultivated.
2
Take part in more group activities.
One year, I organized a treasure hunt in the wild at night. Every treasure was equipped with a flashlight, and then I went outdoors to find the clue map of the treasure.
At first, I was worried that Hanhan couldn't handle it because he was afraid of the dark and didn't dare to go out at night. But later, I found that my worry was unnecessary, because when a group of children swarmed in, the courage of idiots had been aroused, especially when there were little girls in the team, we couldn't lose face in front of them! ^_^
Therefore, participating in group activities can exercise children's courage and courage!
three
More challenges, more encouragement.
When Han Han was more than 4 years old, we took him to a woodworking activity, making wood with hammers and nails. Han Han was afraid at first, and didn't dare to take the nail at all, for fear of knocking on his hand.
(Han Han is hammering nails) (Han Han is hammering nails)
I said don't worry, step by step. So I grabbed his hand first, held the nails together, and then knocked with him; Then I let go of my hand and let him knock slowly with a nail; At first, he knocked very little and for a long time. Later, he gradually increased his strength and soon nailed the nail.
Therefore, constantly setting goals for children, constantly challenging their abilities, and constantly encouraging their progress will be very helpful to inspire their courage!
four
Harmonious family relations
I have a friend. When I first came to the United States, the couple often quarreled because they didn't adapt, and the children were particularly timid. They frown all day and seldom laugh.
However, when I saw her child recently, I found that the child was much more lively and smiling, and she was no longer that timid little girl.
So I asked my friend how it changed so much. My friend said that because of peace now, I have adapted to American life and stopped quarreling. She sincerely felt, "I didn't expect the family atmosphere to have such a great influence on children!"
Therefore, a harmonious family is the main reason for the healthy development of children's body and mind!
five
Cultivate children's strong character
When Han Han went to basketball camp, the American coach took his 3-year-old son with him every day. Once a child chased the ball and accidentally fell down. He looked at his father with tears in his eyes, as if waiting for his father to pick him up.
However, the coach stood beside him and said, "hey, young man, get up!" You can do it! " Young man, stand up. You can do it. The coach treats his three-year-old son as a man.
Finally, the child got up by himself, and it was all right, and soon he was alive and kicking again.
I believe that after this incident, the child's character will become more determined and brave. This is due to parents' non-doting, encouragement and proper letting go.
six
take exercise
Last but not least, especially for boys, a strong body is a source of confidence and courage.
Hanhan basketball team has a teammate, because of his thin figure, he especially rejects physical confrontation. When fighting for the ball, defending and rebounding, he will hide in the back. The parents shook their heads and said the child was timid.
In fact, this is because the body is not strong enough, which seriously affects the confidence and courage of children. Not only playing ball games, but also the confidence and timidity brought by physical weakness can lead to being bullied by other children.
Therefore, we need to exercise our children's bodies more, cultivate TA's self-confidence, and at least let TA understand that in the face of competition and confrontation, TA has the courage and ability to fight back!
Yesterday, a father told me that it was very reasonable. He said that he was going to let his children practice martial arts or taekwondo, just to let them have a strong body and the courage to protect themselves and others!
In fact, there are no babies born timid. Children's courage and confidence come from their parents. If you want to cultivate a brave child, let's start with us!
If you have preschool children around you, you can recommend them to use the literacy software Cat Handsome to read. Download it to your mobile phone and you can use it. There are colorful stories and games in it, which can help children better understand and learn Chinese characters.