I once read this sentence: "The tone of a person's speech is more important than the content of his speech."
Indeed, a person's tone reflects his inner cultivation, It also reflects his attitude towards people and things.
A good tone is like spring breeze and rain, warming people's hearts. The bad tone was as cold as an iceberg, instantly chilling people's hearts.
This is why some people win the moment they open their mouths, while some people lose the moment they open their mouths.
Because the tone of your words not only shows a person's gentleness, but also hides a person's luck.
01 Don’t let others misunderstand your good intentions because of your tone
Recently, Xiao Qin had a quarrel with his colleagues. It turned out that he and a colleague *** were jointly responsible for a company project. Seeing that the time limit had expired, the part that the colleague was responsible for still had no results. Xiao Qin couldn't help but said to his colleague impatiently: "Can you speed up a little bit?"
Unexpectedly, after his colleague heard this, he replied with a cold face: "Just take care of yourself. "
Xiao Qin was very angry after hearing this. He clearly reminded him kindly, but he didn't expect that the other party was not only ungrateful, but also ridiculed him.
The two of them started arguing with each other and almost got into a fight. Fortunately, other colleagues persuaded me and stopped the dispute in time.
Afterwards, Xiao Qin not only felt his mood hit rock bottom, but his work was also delayed.
The book "Speak Well" once said: "The wounds caused by speaking are all hidden wounds."
Because inappropriate tone can easily hurt others. Makes people feel uncomfortable.
In life, many people do not realize the importance of tone. Many times, the words we blurt out mixed with emotions are often unintentional on the part of the speaker and intentional on the part of the listener. And, when the tone is inappropriate, words of concern turn into blame.
I have seen such a story.
During the Spring and Autumn Period, famine broke out in Qi State. There was a kind-hearted rich man who couldn't bear to see the victims everywhere, so he opened a porridge shop on the roadside to help people passing by.
He saw a poor man who was tortured by hunger. Without thinking, he shouted to the poor man: "Hey, let me give you something to eat."
The poor man paused. He stopped and said slowly: "I would rather starve to death than eat what you gave me."
The rich have good intentions, but because they have lost their due respect, they feel condescending. His good intentions turned sour, and the poor people misunderstood him.
Someone said: "There is never a lack of kindness in this world, but communication skills."
Because too many misunderstandings originate from the tone of speaking.
Obviously he wanted to express worry and distress, but because of his harsh tone, it sounded domineering. It's obviously appreciation and praise, but because of the serious tone, it makes people feel fearful and creates resentment.
What’s more, a mistake can still be recovered, but a slip of the tongue is hard to recover.
When getting along with others, use gentleness instead of strength, and use sincerity to resolve conflicts.
Because a bad tone is not only harsh, but also harmful. And a good tone not only makes others comfortable, but also makes you happy.
02 Your respect is hidden in your tone
I have a friend named Xiaolu who usually talks carelessly and never pays attention to the occasion or tone. Once, a large group of our friends had dinner together. At the dinner table, my girlfriend advised Xiaolu to drink less.
After hearing this, Xiaolu opened his eyes and shouted loudly: "Are you annoyed?
"
The girlfriend was extremely embarrassed, her eyes immediately dimmed, her head lowered, and she remained silent. Upon seeing this, the friends around her hurriedly tried to smooth things over and asked Xiaolu to drink less.
But Xiaolu refused to give up and shouted to his girlfriend impatiently: "You are the only one who has many things to do. "
The girlfriend immediately turned around and left. Later, I heard that the two broke up not long after.
"Zengguang Xianwen" said: "Good words and good words are enough for three winters. Warm, bad words hurt people. June is cold. ”
Speaking softly to your partner is the attitude a person should have in a relationship.
And using a bad tone to respond to your partner’s concern is an insult to your partner. The manifestation of emotional disrespect. Because a vicious tone is like an invisible sharp knife, it can make people feel depressed in an instant.
Writer Ben Jonson said: " Tone is the most revealing thing about a person's heart. As long as you speak, I can understand you. ”
Most people who have a bad tone only care about their own comfort, indulge in their own emotions, and don’t care about their partner’s feelings. Those bad tones invisibly open up a gap between two people who were originally close. Separate.
People with a good tone will care more about their partner's feelings, and they will be more thoughtful in life.
We often like to get close to people with a good tone, because a good tone not only hides respect and kindness, but also reflects a person's self-cultivation.
And those who only care about venting their emotions will not be able to reach success even if they have good luck.
03 People who speak with a good tone will not have bad luck.
Life. Among them, those who do not blame others at will, but know how to appreciate and think from others' perspective, are the real winners in life.
A friend who has a very successful career told a story about himself.
My friend is in the catering industry. At the beginning, he opened a small store specializing in snacks.
There was a snack he carefully developed, which was delicious and rich, and many diners liked it. Come here because of its reputation.
One day, a new customer saw the food and said angrily to the waiter: "Let your boss come, how can anyone eat it when it's covered in dust?" ”
When my friend went out and saw the snacks on the table, he immediately understood the reason why the customer was angry.
The reason why the snack is so fragrant is that the surface of the prepared food will Sprinkle a thin layer of ground sesame seeds.
Under the dim light, the sesame seeds look like dust.
My friend did not point it out directly, but gently. Smiling and said: "It doesn't matter, you don't like sesame seeds, I can change other dishes for you. "
At this time, the customer realized that he had wrongly blamed my friend, and he followed the steps given by his friend to reconcile.
Kipling said: "Words are The most effective medicine ever used by mankind. ”
Those with a gentle tone can not only resolve crises skillfully, but also turn crises into opportunities. People with a poor tone are not only prone to disaster, but may even make the situation worse. .
After all, most people with a bad tone let their emotions go without caring about the feelings of others, while people with a good tone know the consequences of speaking out and will be careful when speaking. People have face, and then they can resolve problems with a gentle tone.
As the saying goes: “Your mouth is your Feng Shui. ”
A good tone of voice can not only melt the ice, but also allow people to get twice the result with half the effort.
Later that customer would often come to the friend’s store again.
After a while, he became his friend’s first investor.
Ask customers why they invest. He said frankly that no matter what situation he faces, people who speak softly and are gentle will be more convincing in their work and will be more successful in their careers.
Undoubtedly, friends are just such people.
The cultivation contained in the tone will give people support, allowing us to face all the difficulties that life throws firmly and forcefully, no matter what situation we are in.
Cai Kangyong once said: "I don't care about the art of speaking, but the way I speak. The way I speak is to keep you in my heart."
When you treat people When you are kind, you can also receive kindness from others. In life, we also prefer to be close to people who speak softly and stay away from those who speak in a bad tone.
As time goes by, only concern from the heart can penetrate deeply into people's hearts and enter your heart.
After all, the process of getting along with others is like looking into a mirror.
When you smile, he smiles at you. If you cry, he will cry to you. If you speak softly to him, he will return the favor to you.
So, control your tone. Because your luck is hidden in your tone.
About the author: Wen Qiao, I like novels and movies, and hope to meet you in words.